Warning: long 😅
Gday all. 39m from Australia. Anyway, as the title so simply states.... Where do I even start? I'm undiagnosed to begin with. After reading through this sub Reddit and doing a few personality tests, hoo boy do I (seem) to have it bad! My journey to self awareness and trying to get right with, well, life and everyone around me started about four or five days ago. My wife of 12 years caught me lying (pretty poorly I admit) about spending entirely too much money to get a video game. Initially I got my back up as I pretty much always do when being criticized or called out for any number of shenanigans. I tried to cover lies with lies and jesus christ I just kept making it worse and worse. All along I was thinking "why is she so mad? It isn't even that bad. She's always out to get me, always blaming me for everything when all I do is do things for her". The standard fare.
Things were compounded when she asked me if I had checked out pet birds food and water. I straight up lied and said yes even though I hadn't checked on her for days. She said if she went out the next morning and it wasn't done, shit would hit the fan. I had every opportunity to fix this, admit to my lie.... But I thought fuck it she'll be mad for a day or two, get over it and everything will be fine. Things are definitely NOT fine! Three mornings ago, I was getting ready for work as is my routine every morning. Get up, get dressed, pack my lunch, kiss my wife, say I love you and leave. This time, she was cold (rightfully so as I've discovered), no kiss, no I love you, nothing. We generally joke around while I'm at work and have meme and gif wars (as all 40 something's do, right?). She ignored every single one of my messages.
I got home, said hi, asked how her day was as normal, I get a cold hi, and "fucking awesome", again, cold. In the moment I was so angry at her response. She should be over it right? Why is she still mad? Etc etc. So somewhere in my brain I twigged, just a little bit and decided to attempt shadow work (my wife is a witch, she suggested I do this a long time ago). So I started, and halfway through decided I wasn't doing it for the right reasons, but a few things stuck out. The fact that I've been lying to people and taking advantage of them for at least 20 years, and the fact that even though my mum dying in 2009 destroyed me and changed me for the worse, is that I resented her for dying, for having to take care of her and watch her die, and for leaving me.
I almost immediately closed the shadow work document and instead typed into Google "why do I lie?". And thus, I discovered this sub reddit. I poured over every post, link, article, test..... Anything and everything I could get my hands on. And after a lifetime on lying, fibbing, taking advantage of people, and ruining relationships, I said to myself, and out loud, "fuck me, I'm a narcissist". I think this is referred to as becoming self aware? I feel different, but I know I have a lot of work to do. And I don't know if my wife is able to hold on to this relationship during this work. She told me last night that she's done. That I have hurt her worse than her ex that physically beat her. That she resents me for not being empathetic, not being romantic, not being a sexual person. For taking the opportunity to have a baby from her. For lying, all the time about nothing and everything. For destroying her mental health after she's been healthy for years (she suffers from bi polar and BPD and has been med free for two years).
I have tried to bring up talking about things the last two nights but her filter is non existent currently and she is launching everything at me like the fury of a thousand suns. And to be honest (for once), I can't blame her. At all. I deserve this. I have created this. I have to live with this and attempt my best to repair over a decades worth of mistrust and pain.
I feel self aware. I feel I can fix this. I don't want to lose my wife and kids, but if I do I have no one to blame but myself.
Thanks for reading fam, M

Hi everyone! Just requesting tips on how to fix my form on bent over barbell rows, I know my form looks pretty terrible. Also, I decided to stop by the gym as a spur of the moment kind of thing so I have sandals on in the video. Don't knock me for it /s
Thank you in advance!
link to video: https://giphy.com/gifs/QG2d4vmLNMIWyd8oOS (65lbs)

Millennial here looking to chat with a someone with good energy maybe even a Gen-Zer. Seems like there’s a lot of disconnect between millennials and the new versions of us (Gen-Z). Or is it just me?
Could just be me so about me: I’m pretty easy going, I feel, I am not as extroverted as I may look or would like to be. I am random. Has a good sense of humor. I like to chat with gifs. Am a horrible cook. I love music big on edm/trap/rap/Pop. Love to travel. Movies. Pic on page. I am a good listener.
Let’s share music, opinions, talk about life, and not judge each other. Bonus if you’re down to help me learn to cook something!
Would like to chat with someone who is genuinely up for it. Simple hi or hey messages aren’t going to cut it. If you’re not willing to show who you are please refrain from messaging.

https://i.redd.it/z5l3n50iuz3b1.gif
Hi, I've made the DG love pill for a friend and I am sending it here for everyone who could be interested in. I think I had mede a good job modeling it, and I would appreciate so much if you buy the 3D model for whatever you want. Also I'm considering selling an aluminium version, but that are future plans. Tell me your thoughts.
Thanks!!
https://cults3d.com/es/modelo-3d/joyas/drain-gang-love-pill-necklace

[PC SERVER] Oldschool Server with a vanilla unmodded feel/ Longterm / ORP/ NoMods / 4 Classic Maps / Friendly growing community / Join Today! / PVP /
https://i.redd.it/mmne0v43cz3b1.gif
Hello Survivors,I've recently made an oldschool PVP server, only titanosaurs are disabled, you can build in all caves however you will not recieve ORP protection in caves. I'm hoping to make an oldschool server that is fair for all to play on.
The current server cluster has 4 oldschool maps including The island, Scorched earth, Aberration and ragnarok. So if you interested in joining a growing community. Please dont delay pop in and say hi!
Settings
- Experience, Taming and Harvest: 3
- Clustered Maps: TheIsland, Aberration, Scorched Earth and Ragnarok.
- Baby Raising: 3x - Mating Intervals: 0.5x
- Tribe Limit: 3Man
- Max Dino level: 150 (Vanilla) , 190 for wyvern eggs & rockdrake.
- No Mods, Player and all other setting vanilla.
- Prime meat and wyvern milk stacks to 10x.
Dino Settings
Disabled creatures: all tek dinos.
Disabled from being tamed: Titanosaur.
Plugins
CrossServer chat
Allows players to chat between clustered servers.
Auto Engrams
Learns all normal engrams but not tek ones.
ArkModifiedSpawnLevelDistribution
ORP Plugin
Structure Damage Reduction 90%Turret Damage x3Activation time 10 MinutesPenalty Time: 4 MinutesAdds time if getting raided while trying to log off, 4 minutes will be added.
Connection Links
The Island: steam://connect/63.141.244.58:27015
Ragnarok: steam://connect/63.141.244.58:27025
Scorched Earth: steam://connect/63.141.244.58:27035
Aberration: steam://connect/63.141.244.58:27045
Thanks for reading and I hope to see you online.
Discord: https://discord.gg/QRmQRQe2s4

Hi,
I had written a package that allow using org-ql with org-roam:
https://github.com/ahmed-shariff/org-roam-ql
The idea was to make org-ql aware of the org-roam database. The package also allows viewing the content of an org-roam buffer in an org-ql-view buffer, which would allow querying based on the nodes, or vice versa, viewing the content of a org-ql-view in a org-roam-like buffer.
Switching from an org-roam buffer to a org-ql buffer, narrowing the results using org-ql then rending the results in an org-roam-like buffer (which I am org-roam-ql buffers)
Querty the org-roam database
It's my first package and I am still working on it. I would love to hear any feedback on it :)

Hi! So recently (yesterday, to be exact) I decided I wanted to try my hand at gif making using videos in Photopea, and I'm really having troubles with it :( My biggest issue (in Photopea specifically) is that I don't know how many FPS I need to choose in order to get all the frames from the video clip I'm using.
The video clip I want to use is at 24 FPS, so is that the amount I would use? I would think so, but I tried to do that last night and I noticed right away that not all the frames were included as the last layer in my project was not the last frame of my video clip. I initially thought the problem is that my frames were too large (they are 1920px x 1080px) so I figured the file was too big for Photopea so I scaled the video down in VLC to 540px x 300px (this size works for what I want to use it for) but when I uploaded the clip into Photopea (it was ~8 seconds long) it gave me almost 4000 frames, which...is really far too many :( I'm really not sure of the issue and I would really appreciate any help or advice at all!
I do know it's possible to do this as I made a successful gif last night, but it took quite a while as I was still using the larger files which was hard for my computer to handle and I figured scaling them down would work - and I think it will! - I'm just having troubles figuring it all out :c

Previous week

Weekly Downloads

Name	Author	Downloads	Likes	Days Since Last Update	Description
1 Yas Download	Yas8p	355	3	7	Download from social media
2 ShortcutOS 4.3 Beta	MRcoolman773	37	1	5	ShortcutOS is an innovative operating software designed specifically for your iPhone experience
3 QR Register	u/159K	35	1	1	Most advanced QR tool
4 LeafOS	shortcuts++	30	1	7	An OS in shortcuts
5 R⤓Download - iOS 13, 14, 15, 16	r07qxo	30	0	314	#Best Shortcut - Download Videos, Photos and Stories From Anywhere - 100 Million? Check Description
6 aOS	lin5	28	2	2	Since everyone's making OSs these days, I tried to too
7 BitUpdate	ashbit_	27	2	6	A fast way to update your shortcuts
8 UNQ Download	Unique_Gaming	27	1	3	Download Videos From Instagram and YouTube Easily And Very Fast
9 YouTube Download	u/gluebyte	25	2	5	Videos, shorts, audio, subtitles. From 144p up to 8K + HDR
10 Live Battery	u/159K	25	1	2	A live saver.
11 Auto Message	Bingobucketster	25	0	136	Schedule messages to be sent later
12 DTikTok	heismauri	22	0	164	A standalone downloader for TikTok without watermark
13 Instagram Download	u/gluebyte	21	0	24	Public or private posts, stories, highlights, reels, profile – up to 1080x1920 60fps
14 Shut Down	ashbit_	19	2	3	Shut down your phone with Siri and a password.
15 GPT Summarizer	iampinyuan	19	1	7	Summarize any text into concise bullet points effortlessly using ChatGPT.
16 StarSixSevNum	Oceanra1n	18	1	2	Call anyone anonymously.
17 LixaOS	miyucode	18	0	2	LixaOS is an operating system based on Shortcuts.
18 Bad Translator	ashbit_	18	0	6	The Google Docs extension now on your iPhone, anywhere.
19 Setting Adjuster	TASG2012	17	2	4	The Shortcut For All Your Settings
20 Battery Analytics	huuminhtech	17	1	4	Take a peek into battery statistics that are hidden from you.

Weekly Likes

Name	Author	Downloads	Likes	Days Since Last Update	Description
1 🌟 𝔽𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕕𝕚𝕗𝕪 🌟 𝘊𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘮 𝘐𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘦 ! 🌟	TheiNsideDevs	11	4	5	🔥𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐏𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞!🔥
2 Yas Download	Yas8p	355	3	7	Download from social media

Total Downloads

Available on RoutineHub: https://routinehub.co/shortcuts/?sort=top

Total Likes

Name	Author	Downloads	Likes	Days Since Last Update	Description
1 R⤓Download - iOS 13, 14, 15, 16	r07qxo	109786	381	314	#Best Shortcut - Download Videos, Photos and Stories From Anywhere - 100 Million? Check Description
2 Instagram Download	u/gluebyte	19172	169	24	Public or private posts, stories, highlights, reels, profile – up to 1080x1920 60fps
3 Icon Themer	alexiaa	15267	145	215	Create custom home screen icons that launch your apps directly
4 RoutinePub	u/MikeBeas	10727	112	259	Publish your Shortcuts to RoutineHub directly from your iOS device.
5 Instagram Media Saver	u/mvan231	39168	112	111	Save photos, videos, stories, and reels
6 SW-DLT	net00	9484	98	56	A Shortcuts front end for yt-dlp and gallery-dl
7 Pritam Download (For iOS 14 and 15)	jaglion	18094	96	294	The most advanced download tool to download any media from any social platforms.
8 Just Another YouTube Downloader	Mncfre	47209	96	59	Download YouTube videos or audio
9 Auto Message	Bingobucketster	48963	96	136	Schedule messages to be sent later
10 DTikTok	heismauri	32329	89	164	A standalone downloader for TikTok without watermark
11 Swing Updater	u/D3W10	21536	86	150	Update your shortcuts like no other
12 DTwitter	heismauri	52889	68	43	Download photos, videos and HQ GIFs from a public tweet
13 Dictionary Action Builder	u/gluebyte	3732	58	52	JSON ⇐⇒ dictionary action conversion tool
14 R⤓Updater (SUPPORT Alphabetical Versions)	r07qxo	25859	56	281	Update,Embed,Publish Updates,Check For Updates Without Running Your Shortcuts! (Supports Any Server)
15 HiRes Twitter	u/gluebyte	8020	55	31	Download public/​private/​community/​circle media at highest quality, save to Photos/Files or share
16 All Media Downloader	1MrNewton	2128	52	13	This shortcut helps you download content from social media apps.
17 Shortcut Source Tool	u/gluebyte	3181	48	36	View, convert, save source in plist or json, edit and import back to Shortcuts, review in browser
18 QuickUpdate	u/zachary7829	14152	48	321	Quickly Update Your Shortcuts!
19 Google Translate	brechtbakker	11981	44	364	Quickly translate using the Google Translate API
20 Get Sauce	u/MMP0	10258	43	74	Reverse Image Search for Manga, Anime, CGs, etc. with 10 Different Search Engines

Every week I collect info from new and updated shortcuts on RoutineHub, up to 60 pages each (about 1700 latest shortcuts combined). Then I compare this week’s numbers with last week’s and come up with these charts. Please let me know if you have suggestions.

Hi I am gif and I am a sex addict. Last night into today I have been working the Gentle Path book. One of the topics that surfaced for me was what would letting go of the feelings I am holding towards my last relationship mean to me. In a weird convoluted way the association was that I would be vulnerable to them hurting me again. I myself qualify for ACA and various anon programs so I have tons of adaptive survival responses that are super effective just not aligned with the me I am in recovery some which i still have yet to recognize. So where am I... I just cannot move this anger. They won't apologize or try to amend their harms. It's been 2 years it's time to give up hope they actually cared about me. Thats their side of the street not mine. This "why did they do this" question has led me down a wild rabbit hole. First this is living proof I continue to pick emotionally unavailable people and it's getting me no where so I shift the thinking back to me. That has brought up tons of feelings and memories of partners which feels helpful and utterly painful at the same time. So I keep spinning in a urge/ enhance my recovery cycle to stay sober just for today.
Parallel to this is my monthly recommitment to celibacy for over 2 years now since all this started.
Trying to unpack this my hp sent me to a meeting where we read the 1st to recovering from sexual avoidance https://saa-recovery.org/literature/first-step-intimacy-guide-working-first-step-intimacy-sexual-avoidance-sexual-anorexia/
Not everything in the reading is accurate to me but well some of it is.
I don't know what healthy love in this chapter means for me. I keep circling back to this idea that this sexual avoidance is as compulsive as acting out. That I am not moving foward because I didn't get the results I wanted. That maybe fantasy and my ability to decern if people love me is distorted and there is much more work to do than I first imagined. My therapist swears my x loved me. I wake up every day and believe that to be true less and less. The sadness from that has me in a state that the only use I have for other people seeking romantic partnership with me is to use them to comfort this discomfort away. So I would rather not even bother entertaining them. Simultaneously I have with much sadness to share dl a anonymous chat app and here the funny part when people make sexually suggestions I ask if they are sex addicts and send them resources. This between you and all of you strangers here sounds like my addiction. I have successfully for the last 2 years fled every moment that I started going into inner circle behaviors. Yet, at times it feels like my addict is getting more cunning. My inability to overcome the initially referenced sadness keeps me trapped in a loop of starting to climb into the bubble and then jumping out. https://saa-recovery.org/literature/the-bubble-a-metaphor-for-addictive-sexual-behavio
How do you face the fear of vulnerability and that people will hurt you again and again?