How much was adam zimmer drinking
How to cut down drinking alcohol (/r/cutdowndrinking)
2014.04.06 22:56 How to cut down drinking alcohol (/r/cutdowndrinking)
A community for people wanting to cut down their drinking
2016.07.19 18:48 Man1nTheArena A Guide to Drinking in the DC, Maryland, and Virginia Area
/DMVdrinking is a private subreddit to discuss locations and drinking in the DMV area. Here, people can post reviews of Bars, Clubs, Liquor stores, or anywhere else that has served them.
2018.09.21 10:56 CoinDeal_com CoinDeal
CoinDeal.com, new cryptocurrency platform is now available. Our long-lasting interest in cryptocurrencies and blockchain kept us up-to-date with the way cryptocurrency markets were developing. Our disappointment with the quality of the process prompted us to team up and create a new exchange. An exchange that we ourselves would like to use. An exchange that will meet needs of even the most demanding customers. https://coindeal.com/
2023.06.07 18:47 Fauchard1520 Awakened War Dog Gets Treats (5e)
Originally presented with an accompanying comic
. Here be my tale. Ahem:
So no shit, there we were. The good boys of our dungeons and doggies campaign had beaten a sinister foe known as The Mailman. It was loot time. And my awakened cane corso barbarian/rogue was set to get the biggest chew toy of them all. A custom magic item tailored for your truly!
You see, my big bad Roman war dog was a gladiator by training and by inclination. He loved nothing better than grappling his opponents, ripping their throats out, and sharing the meat around with the rest of the
party pack. The image of this musclebound war dog with a muzzle slathered in gore inspired my GM with a bit of homebrew.
Being a fan of the classics, he set about building me a bit of kit based on Frank Frazetta’s The Death Dealer. It was a magic helm with glowing eyes and bad attitude. With a nod and a wink the my good boy’s gladiatorial showmanship, he made it an Intimidation item, figuring I could use it to strike fear into my enemies.
“So to get the fear effect, I need to roll Charisma (Intimidation)?”
“Pretty cool, right?”
“It’s absolutely cool. It’s super badass. I love it to pieces. Only thing is I’ve got a +0 on the check.”
“But see, it’s a bonus action three times per day. There’s not much of a cost, so it’s just a nice thematic bonus.”
I could feel my minmax hackles rising. I scented optimization on the wind. And I summarily marked my territory all over that poor GM’s tailored item.
“Hey Warlock! You've got max Charisma, right?”
And that’s the story of how an awakened fae corgi got to wear the Death Dealer helm. Her li’l bork became a BIG WOOF, and no enemy could stand before it.
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2023.06.07 18:47 valdezverdun Meeting Steve Merchant at Isle of Man TT - Left disappointed
I'm a huge fan of racing, and have been for years, but there's one thing I enjoy just as much and that's bingeing on the old XFM shows, so I couldn't believe my luck when I bumped into Steve Merchant at the Isle of Man TT.
I'm an average height guy, so he stuck out like a sore thumb when I saw him in the crowd, and I made my way over to him. Now for anyone who's met a celeb that you admire or enjoy their work, you'll know you get a bit nervous, but I thought, why not. I built up the courage to approach him and ask 'Are you Steve Merchant?' He replied 'Yeah, what can I do for you?"
We got to chatting about the race, and I started asking about the old XFM shows, which was interspersed with the deafening roar of the race. He seemed really happy to talk his time on the radio, extras, and the Office and we got to talking about some of our favorite moments The cork on the head Man moth (Which he mentioned was one of his favourite moments) Monkey News/Rockbusters His DJ/travelling stories The brent dance Working with Patrick Stewart, Ben Stiller, etc We then move on to the actual race, we talk about our top drivers, and who we're looking forward to seeing.
He mentions that his favourite driver was replaced last minute by an unknown driver.
Most racers take off their helmets before and after the race, but this racer didn't. He was also quite short for a superbike racer, and he stuck his finger up his arse before the race, which was a bit weird but there was no time to think about that as the race was starting.
Anyway, this new racer is zooming through the course, faster than normal, and all the like, Isle of Man TT committee, are saying 'God, he's breaking all the records, here'
Anyway, the crowd starts taking photos, and it causes the bike to crash. Which is strange, because the little fella had a lot of grippage on the bike.
Ambulance comes screeching past and all the paramedics rush over, but his teammates say 'Leave the helmet on' they weren't telling the paramedics how to do their job, but the little fella didn't want the fame.
Rumours start going around about the racer. His pit team, when fixing his bike went to replace his wheel nuts and the pit guy thought 'These are light' turns out they were nuts, the foodage type nuts. Also before the race a lot more banana's were being eaten. Also, it had been said that and when he won the last race, although he was only three foot, the trophy was nine feet in the air. He'd also been mistaken for Bob Hoskins and apparently he'd had a fight with a lady on a plane about the lack of snacks available (They offered her a sandwich, but that was quite a big meal)
Anyway, few days later a couple report a chimp in a neckbrace at the zoo.
So, yeah, although I got the chance to meet Steve and talk about his career in comedy the whole thing was overshadowed by a scary accident.
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2023.06.07 18:47 WavesofOntario Iceland travel tips
I wrote this a couple of months ago but thought it might help as peak travel season is upon us. https://www.wavesofontario.com/blog/iceland-travel-tips
There are a couple of places in the world in my opinion, where if you woke up with no recollection of how you arrived or where you were, you might just assume you were on another planet. Iceland is one of those locations. It has always been a popular choice as a destination for landscape photographers. Over the last few years, it has also increased in popularity with general travelers.
Below are a few things I picked up along the way that may help you plan, save time, or in some cases avoid altogether.
Iceland is very expensive, especially fuel. Plan ahead, and minimize your drives. If you don't need to drive back to your Air BnB/hotel, don't. Find one of the designated areas to park for a few hours and take a nap. Not just because of the fuel, but because it's more fun. You never know if you will wake up to a beautiful sunrise or if the Aurora will light up the skies.
Northern Lights (Aurora Borealis)
If you're only or mainly visiting Iceland to see the Aurora Borealis, you may be disappointed. I was lucky to see the Lights a couple of nights in a row, but it was at the end of the trip as many of the other nights were cloudy. Use websites like yr.no and en.vedur.is to help with hourly cloud cover, weather forecasts, and locations to potentially view the Aurora. Keep in my mind there are nights the Aurora doesn’t have a strong forecast, but can still appear as quite often the Northern Lights forecast can be off. You can also have a strong forecast for the Aurora, but cloud cover can ruin your night. I would still recommend going out though. You just never know if you find pockets of clear skies.
To give you an idea of the extent people go to in order to experience the Northern Lights- I met someone on my trip who booked two weeks in Alaska with a high likelihood of seeing the Northern Lights. The entire two weeks, despite a strong Aurora forecast, were cloudy due to a Winter Storm. Luckily she did end up seeing the Lights in Iceland.
The months you visit will also determine whether or not you get to see the Northern Lights. In summer, there are no night skies. I personally find mid-September a good time to visit. A bit less crowd and a good balance of day/night.
Travel time and distance
Iceland is small (I'm from Canada), but not that small. If you're planning to visit destinations mainly around the Golden Circle area you should be fine as the drives aren't too long. In my case, I explored all the way from the Snaefellsnes Peninsula to Vestrahorn/Stokksness area. I mainly stayed in Selfoss, which I found to be a good area as it wasn’t too far from most points of interest. But, as an example from Selfoss to Vestrahorn, it's over a 3hr drive. Vik is probably a good option too if you want to experience east Iceland a bit more. Obviously, your drive to Reykjavik and western Iceland will be longer, about an hour more from Vik to Reykjavik compared to Selfoss.
Needless to say, I barely slept the entire trip so I could make the most of my time there. As is the case with most trips where photography is involved. I was there for 8 days and slept maybe a total of 24 hours. Some nights I slept in my rental so I could be up for sunrise and reduce travel times.
Visit the popular areas, but stop along your drives if you see something nice, and go out and explore. There are no dangerous animals in Iceland and some of the best scenery in Iceland is in random places that aren't designated tourist areas. Just be careful and try to park in a proper car stop and be mindful of private property.
Prepare to get wet
Bring a poncho or similar. Not just because of the rain/drizzle but if you're visiting the waterfalls there, Iceland can get very windy, and even without any wind the mist from the falls can get you soaked. If you're bringing an expensive camera, which should be water resistant, still take a shower cap with you.
Black sand beach (Reynisfjara)
Reynisfjara is an awesome place with its dark, black sand and alien-like sea stacks. But, it's not worth it to get so close to the water. People have died there. I saw someone fall and thought they were gone but luckily crawled back to safety (barely). I visited the place 4 times to get a certain photo because on other days the wind and/or waves were too much to handle.
Kirkjufell, located in Snaefellsnes Peninsula, is a beautiful location, It’s very popular for photographers due to a very picturesque mountain complimented by a small waterfall. But again, it's not worth it to take a risk (i.e. climb). Like Reynisfjara, people have died there.
One thing that I noticed about Iceland is that there are barely any trees. It actually makes the drives great as you can see the scenery around you. But if there is snowfall on a windy day, even just a bit, that snow will be blowing all over the place limiting your visibility so plan your drive and time accordingly. And, Iceland can get VERY windy.
Group tours and guides
Avoid group tours, unless of course, you’re not planning on driving. The one place I do recommend it though is the Highlands. Driving there is a pain. You need 4WD, which is standard but it will be a slow, careful "watch out for the edge" type of drive with some small rivers to cross. There are times due to the terrain you may need to deflate your tires a bit and then re-inflate them. Good luck and safe travels. And, remember that if you don’t like the weather in Iceland, just wait 5-10 minutes!
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2023.06.07 18:47 khaledbalochh Istanbul Tourist Budget for 7 days
Hello people of reddit, I'm planning to visit your beautiful city for a period of 7 days, I already have paid for Airbnb(doesn't include breakfast). I was wondering how much would it cost me to spend 7 days and 6 nights in Istanbul, I would appreciate your responses on how much would it cost for Uber rides from SAW to taksim square, food, visiting some landmarks and other Tourist stuff. Would 10,000 Try be enough? Appreciate all your responses, can't wait to experience Istanbul and all it's beautiful attractions. Thank you
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2023.06.07 18:47 TinnRing CDC warns of deadly bacteria with 50% fatality rate that has been declared endemic to the US Gulf Coast
A deadly bacteria with a roughly 50 percent fatality rate worldwide has made its way to the US Gulf Coast, where it has been declared endemic by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
The CDC has confirmed three cases of infection from the bacteria Burkholderia pseudomallei, which can cause potentially lethal melioidosis if not treated.
“It is an environmental organism that lives naturally in the soil, and typically freshwater in certain areas around the world. Mostly in subtropical and tropical climates,” Julia Petras, an epidemic intelligence service officer with CDC’s National Center for Emerging and Zoonotic Infectious Diseases, told HealthDay News.
The most recent case was reported in Mississippi in January.
Two others were confirmed in the same Mississippi county in July 2020 and May 2020.
However, most of those people infected with the bacteria don’t show symptoms and develop antibodies against it, meaning many more people are likely infected, Petras said.
In all three Mississippi cases, the patient recovered.
“This is one of those diseases that is also called the great mimicker because it can look like a lot of different things,” Petras told the outlet. “It’s greatly under-reported and under-diagnosed and under-recognized — we often like to say that it’s been the neglected, neglected tropical disease.”
People are typically infected by the bacteria through open wounds or by inhaling the germs during a strong storm.
Those with diabetes or kidney and liver problems are most at risk.
“Excessive alcohol use is also a known risk factor, and binge drinking has actually been associated with cases as well from endemic areas,” Petras said.
The CDC defines an endemic as “a constant amount of that specific disease present in a geographic location, like a state or country.”
There have only ever been two reported cases in the world of bacteria spreading from person to person.
Once the bacteria is inside the body, it attacks organs like the lungs and brain and any organ with an abscess, Petras said.
“A lot of patients will have pneumonia with sepsis, and or sepsis, which is associated with higher mortality and worse outcomes,” she said.
Globally, about 160,000 cases are reported annually, with 80,000 deaths.
Petras said it’s important to diagnose melioidosis early so it can be properly treated.
“We have antibiotics that work,” she told HealthDay News. “What I’m talking about is IV antibiotics for at least two weeks, followed by three to six months of oral antibiotics.”
Patients are treated first intravenously with Meropenem (Merrem) and ceftazidime (Fortaz). Amoxicillin is then given via pills during the second phase, according to Petras.
“It’s extensive treatment, but if you’ve finished the full course and you’re diagnosed early, which is the really key thing, your outcome is probably going to be quite good,” she added.
It’s not clear how or when B. mallei got to the Gulf Coast, but scientists believe that climate change is likely a factor.
B. mallei thrives in warm, damp areas and was first found in Australia and Thailand, Petras said. https://nypost.com/2023/06/06/cdc-warns-of-deadly-bacteria-with-50-fatality-rate-that-has-been-declared-endemic-to-the-us-gulf-coast/?utm_campaign=nypost&utm_source
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2023.06.07 18:47 HelpDisastrous9712 I only lose games when I do not get real players on my team.
I have climbed from herald 4 to crusader 1. I have solo qued, duo and trio qued. No matter what happens the only games I am losing are the ones where one or two people on my team are not actually playing the game. Sometimes it is just a massive difference in my teammates to the enemies. It is a team game after all, then on the the other hand you have people calling gg and ff at 15 minutes or someone just refusing to play past 50 minutes and sitting in well. All I can do is report and move on but why do people que for a ranked game of dota and not even play for a win.
I will give some benefit of the doubt and say maybe the new patch is just to much for them as it was to much for me in the beginning. But when I go and look at stats and see that people have triple the number of games played than I do, and they do not know items, matchups and are just feeding 5 deaths right off the rip in a game. When will they learn.
The most important thing in my opinion is to learn how to be carried because if you can be carried you are not a detriment to the four other people on your team. When I have to tell other people to just stop feeding and get in the back pack or to actually just go take a tower it is maddening that they are going to earn mmr when they were actively trying not to all game.
I can be carried and have no problem be carried in a game because I am playing for a win. Here is a game where all I had to do was not feed and defend objectives and let shadow fiend be a good player like he was. I had a rough lane and the enemy team played very well with each other early using mirana ult with underlord's to come into fights invisible. It was a 70 minute slog of a game but I do not lose games with real players. https://www.dotabuff.com/matches/7189562778
This is one of the most maddening wins I have ever had this season. https://www.dotabuff.com/matches/7189437126
After taking mid tier 2 my hard carry and mid laner refused to push a side lane for the rest of the game. The dark seer felt obligated to play on them because he had to follow up. I had to hard carry from hard support and secure every last objective from then on because my two cores did not want to do anything besides fight in mid lane for kills.
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2023.06.07 18:47 513lefty Cheatgrass/Foxtail
My 3 year old wheaten terrier ate a bunch of cheatgrass 3 days ago. Being from the East and moving west, I was unaware of the dangers of these plants. He vomited that night and I could tell he was not comfortable. Licking his lips and trying to clear his airway by swallowing. After an hour or so he calmed down and seemed to be doing better. The next morning I woke to vomit on the floor and mostly cheatgrass in it. That’s when I found out what this weed was and the damage it can cause.
2 days ago, he seems pretty much back to normal. Eating and drinking well and normal energy levels. Yesterday was the earliest vet appointment I could get. They gave him a quick checkup and said he looks good. They basically put it up to me on what they should do. They offered to run lab work to check for infections, or to put him under and check his throat and sinuses. Or to just keep an eye on him and watch out for anything strange. What is the responsible thing to do in this situation? I figure if there was going to be an infection, it wouldn’t occur right away and it might take weeks or months. He seems fine but I don’t want this to cause issues down the road. Hearing all the horror stories about this nasty plant makes me fear for the worst.
Any advice would be much appreciated
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2023.06.07 18:46 throwzoo3 I caused the breakup between my friend and his boyfriend
Me and my friend are super close, he is my top priority at all times and I love him as if he was my brother. A few days ago he came to me super excited, he told me that he had a boyfriend. Now I want the best for him and i tried to go along with it but in my chest i felt as though I was being stabbed, I didn't want to lose him. I felt like i was going to lose the bond I had with him slowly over time, I felt as though I wasn't his #1 even though he has reassured me I am. Ik this is irrational but this is how I felt, he shouldn't have to worry about how I feel when he likes someone.
We talk about everything together and I decided to tell him that when I heard him say that it felt like an icepick was stabbed into my chest, I tried to reassure him that this is all on me to deal with and that I shouldn't be freaking out about my best friend getting into a relationship, but the following day he broke up with his boyfriend to try and make me feel better, and I regret ever telling him how I felt.
He has had to deal with so much shit already and I feel like I just ruined a really good thing in his life, he has told me that "it's fine" and that he will be fine but he feels so fucking bad because of me. He keeps on telling me how he misses him, how he just wants to talk to him, he's said he can't stop crying, and that it's his fault all of this stuff happened. I feel so sick for what I have done I literally can't eat I feel physically ill I can't stop telling him I'm so sorry, and I'm scared that he's not going to be able to recover from this.
I feel so bad for him, he has been hurt so bad by this, I feel evil.
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2023.06.07 18:46 seanikun Hyperventilation Syndrome or something else? Really hopeful to find some help here.
Recently, especially during the last 10 days, I have been struggling to breathe properly. Whatever technique I use, belly breathing, deep breathing, other breath related exercises, they don’t seem to help. It all started to occur only occasionally, especially at night when trying to fall asleep. I would either have the urge to sigh or take a deep breath, and then halfway in that breath started feeling blocked, like it didn’t fully go through. The longer this sensation persists, the more nervous I get and the more I try to actively breathe in deeply, probably resulting in hyperventilation? Idk. I came across the hyperventilation syndrome by googling. Idk if it’s that or something else, but it’s starting to drive me nuts. I do suffer from allergies (have been since almost 10 years), but never had asthma. Neither do I have all the asthma related symptoms (especially the coughing, that’s missing entirely). That will be tested for in a couple of weeks though, just to be sure. Other than that, blood stats were fine, heart was fine a year ago, working out and exercising has always been fine. My biggest problem seems to be that my body is signaling me to breathe in deeply (through the mouth mostly, just as when you do sigh normally), before that breath is actually needed, so it won’t go through. The past days I have spent repeatedly having to suppress the urge to breathe in deeply too early, knowing it’s probably not going to work. Ever since, I can’t really stop thinking about my breathing anymore (except for when i’m very, very focused) and breathe manually a lot of the time, trying to do so trough my nose (which works fine most of the time). It’s very likely that I have depression and I also experience a lot of anxiety. I have had panic attacks before, I don’t know if that’s relevant, but according to what I know, most hyperventilation is a result of anxiety. Maybe somebody has experienced something similar (especially the blocked sensation while breathing in after feeling the urge to do so) and can give me any advice. Or tell me how to reset my breathing, or not focus on it as much anymore. It’s really starting to take a toll on my mental health. Thanks to anybody that took their time and read through all this. Hoping for some advice!
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2023.06.07 18:46 Dangerous_Neko13 I don't know what to take hence asking for y'all suggestions.
educational_info: jee mains 97.8% obc
I have got little to no interest in CSE(may change overtime or not).I am getting it at NIT Raipur (which is a mediocre NIT) and also getting NIT Trichy production engineering and NIT Rourkela mechanical engineering(which are the top NITs) and i have seen that these branches have maximum scope in further studies and i seem to have some interest in its syllabus.I, after these two tiring years have somehow lost interest in science atleast for now so was looking forward to take economics at IIT Kharagpur but as I fucked my JEE Advanced i have little hope for it.
I am not really that sort of guy who knows his passion but I am optimistic that I will find one hence I thought a better college will be good but I also am financially not that good hence some good package won't hurt although I am more like inclined to masters from abroad with full scholarship and make it big there.
So this was the preface, as for the question, I want people(seniors preferably) to tell me something more about mechanical(also getting in DTU) and production related stuff and how much branch matters and like the academic rigor to do other things.Help would be really appreciated as I find someone taking his/her time to help me out really kind.
Any others suggestions are appreciated(serious and not like bro CS jaha mil Rahi lele). If you read it till here you are awesome and aapko acchi gf mile.
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2023.06.07 18:46 CLR833 The sad realization that I'm not as fit and strong as I thought.
I just wanted to get this off my chest and see if anyone relates.
I've been playing tennis an average of 4x a week for around 2 and a half years. Just three months ago I realized that I needed to hit the gym to improve further and so I did.
I had been then practicing tennis 4 days a week and going to the gym 3x a week. If I wasn't hitting the gym that day, I was playing tennis. At the prime age of 27 I thought I was young enough to handle it.
Last week I was craving some tennis even on gym days so I caved in and played even on gym days. Sunday came and I couldn't play that day because of how much my limbs hurt.
Yesterday I almost couldn't finish a match because both my legs, my arm and back were giving out. Probably strained them.
Today I can't workout at the gym nor play tennis because I know it will only make things worse. I'll try again tomorrow.
All I wanted was to keep practicing, competing and improving. Not playing for a few days feels like I'm going to forget how to hold a racket.
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2023.06.07 18:46 rayanmroue Unsure What I'm Doing Wrong / Where & How I Can Improve
Will try to condense this as much as possible so bear with me.
Background Info: I'm 25, from USA. Played in high school, played a couple years in college (D2 / NAIA), and have played with a few semi pro teams (UPSL, USL2). Currently playing with two semi pro teams in two leagues. Have been to some professional combines. Been playing for about 12 years.
Positional Info: Left footed, I usually play on the left wing but dont have a preference of which side I play on. Very fast, very agile. Speed, acceleration, and change of direction is probably my best trait.
Goals: Obviously to play professional. Whether thats NISA, USL1, USL Championship, or MLS. I know im older and time is not on my side so I understand and not really interested in hearing about my chances of going pro. I understand the odds are greatly against me but im not concerned with that. I work for myself and dedicate all my time to this sport and ive accepted that my odds are slim. I'd be completely okay if I didnt make it, as long as I did everything in my power to try.
What Im Doing to Improve: Prior to training and playing with these two teams, I spent 5/6 days a week going to a group training program. Consists of usually 10-15 high level players, small sided fields (5v5, 6v6). The bulk of the training consists of lots of passing / dribbling / finishing sequences. Lots of movement, lots of 1 touch, 2 touch passing, moving into space, etc., all in all, very good training for improving a player TECHNICALLY. Its helped me significantly.
Where I Feel Myself Struggling: This will be the bulk of the post. In a perfect world, a player will train hard and consistently, whether individually or in a group as im doing, and that training will translate to on the pitch. Logically I feel that makes sense. Where I'm frustrated is I don't FEEL THAT TRAINING TRANSLATING TO THE FIELD. I dont understand why, and i dont know what im doing wrong, and wish I knew exactly why I feel my self struggling and what I need to do to fix it.
What I feel like the issue is, is that I haven't gotten the adequate amount of game experience. As mentioned, I only played a couple years of college ball, my seasons were nothing spectacular, and after college (2021), I hardly played in full 11v11 games. The conclusion ive come to is that no matter how much small field group training I do, no matter how much individual training I do, at the end of the day, 11v11 full field games is the real deal, and if im not consistently playing in environments like that, im going to hit a wall.
So I guess im frustrated in the sense of like, im doing all this training, working hard 5/6 days a week, performing very well in these sessions, touch is great, passing is great, confidence is good (could be better). But come game day, I feel as if im so out of touch with myself as a player that I forget the fundamentals and make such silly mistakes and dont play like the player I do in these small group training sessions.
Its like I do so well in these group training sessions, brimming with confidence, comfortable on the ball, and come game time, EVERYTHING feels so foreign and is the polar opposite of what I feel when im in these group training sessions.
Thats pretty much what has led me to the belief that I dont have enough full field 11v11 experience and that its just a confidence issue when Im finally doing the real thing. The old belief was that I just need to train more, I need to go to these group sessions more, absolutely put everything into these training sessions so that my 'work' will finally translate to the real thing.
So like I said, I dont think its an issue in terms of 'I need to train more', or that my skill level is low. I think Im just behind in terms of real game experience that when I actually do the real thing, its still feeling very foreign, and i dont have the usual confidence I do, which is resulting in mistakes, low confidence, etc.,
In Conclusion: Maybe I answered my own question, but would really appreciate some insight as to whether my belief is correct and I just need more real game experience, and if theres anything I can possibly be doing more or better.
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to bootroom [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 18:45 ironicgoddess I'm a 52-year old woman and I had a meltdown last night because I left my toothbrush behind at NDad's house.
My father lives about four hours away and I try to visit him regularly since my step-mother died last year and he's all alone. I love him and get along with him fairly well, but it's also exhausting to be around him.
He monitors and often comments on almost everything I and my two teenage kids do. What we eat, how often we eat, etc. He follows me into the kitchen to make sure I don't leave the refrigerator door open. He freaks out if someone spills something. It's completely toxic, and being raised by him and NMom (they are divorced), I grew up walking on eggshells. NMom is even worse, and I visit her even more rarely.
Anyway, years ago when we were visiting my daughter left her favorite stuffie behind and my dad had to mail it. I NEVER HEARD THE END OF IT. And when I'm packing up, he always says, "Make sure you don't forget anything, like any stuffies!" Well, we packed up and drove off yesterday and I was careful and meticulous, but of course I forgot something.
I left my electric toothbrush behind, and it's the base the holds the brush heads, and it's used by our whole family. I tore the luggage, the car, the house apart looking for it in my panic and began sobbing. I'm a grown woman, married with two kids, and I'm a college professor. Yet here I am, terrified of my fucking elderly father. He never physically beat me or harmed me. I want to just order a new toothbrush off Amazon, but of course my husband thinks I'm being ridculous. It's an expensive toothbrush and also quite small and easy to mail (about the size of a tv remote). Now I have to tell my father I forgot it and ask him to mail it, and yet I'm terrified because I'm going to be "in trouble." Not only that, I know he'll never let me "live it down." So the next time I visit, I have to dread packing up and leaving. UGH. I hate it all so much, and I don't even have the courage to go NC. Instead, I just have to wait for my father to die, and feel like a horrible person because I hope for that to happen sooner rather than later.
Thank you for listening! Not really looking for judgement or advice. I know it's crazy. I know I have no reason to overreact to something that would be such a minor thing with normal parents. I know I should just ignore him. But that small child who wants to please her parents still lives inside me, along with the realization that I never, ever will.
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2023.06.07 18:45 GalaxiGazer I'm done raising grown men
My being burned out over my move from my old apartment and working two jobs, while still trying to find time for rest and refreshment, inspired this post.
My main frustration that I'm experiencing is feeling behind the 8-ball. I need to keep reminding myself that I'm doing this practically on my own, with very little and limited free time. I don't have a partner who can spare some time to move things here and there while I'm at work, or have dinner ready for me by the time I get back after a long 14-hour day. That makes me think back to all those dysfunctional relationships that I've had (including my previous legal marriages) where I've had "partners" who were basically little boys in adult male bodies.
With my first ex-husband (I was 22; he was 30), every attempt I had to try to establish some kind of life were sabotaged. I worked hard to build up our savings, and he would intentionally neglect maintenance on our car until it would break down, and then having all our money wiped away from those repairs. I'd have our apartment cleaned and organized, just for him to mess it all up and then expect me to clean up after him. I'd save up money (again) to potentially buy a house, only to find out that he gifted his (gainfully employed) brother with additional cash for whatever reason. Each time I'd try to plan a date night, he always found an excuse to hang out at his mother's house instead (where she waited on him hand and foot). Each and every single time I tried to "raise" him to be a decent husband and partner, he would resist by tuning me out and running back to his mother.
The 2nd one was even worse, because he still lived with her (I was 31; he was 41). I made the mistake of assuming that us getting married would motivate him to decide to leave his mother's house and for us to have a home of our own, but each attempt was sabotaged. We were better off financially because we both worked and she didn't charge us for rent (just a certain amount to cover the additional use of electricity and water and property taxes). However, each time I'd reach out to the bank to get pre-qualified for a home, he'd find every excuse not to pursue it. There was something wrong with each house that was up for sale. During the weekends when he and I were both off, instead of wanting us to spend time together, his focus was more on being a husband to his mother and I was left on my own. Each and every single time I tried to "raise" him to be a decent husband and partner, he would snap at me and defend his relationship with her.
With the 3rd, he was wanting me to be his mother as well as his wife. By day, he'd want me to constantly feed him, pick up after him, work to support him, and to babysit him during my time off. By night, he wanted me to meet his sexual needs and being willing to please him without expecting (or wanting) anything in return. Towards the end, he got snappy and defensive when I brought it up to him that our standard of living could be much better and our financial state could improve if he got off his lazy ass and got a job.
While I've dealt with my own issues that attracted me to these types of men and having to rebuild my life from each of them, I use them as an example to demonstrate a point that I'm beginning to learn: it is not my place to raise a grown man.
It is not my place to teach him how to manage his money, to be financially responsible, and to understand that paying bills should always be prioritized over frivolous spending.
It is not my place to teach him that living with mother (extenuating circumstances aside) well into adulthood is not a badge of honor. There is nothing attractive or honorable about an able-bodied, adult male being spoon-fed by his mother, having her do his laundry, choose his clothes for him, financially support him, and then deciding for him if and/or when/how/who to date.
It is not my place to teach him the basics of being in a healthy adult relationship: the importance of communication, the logistics of planning a good date, picking up on social cues, and contributing as a partner.
It is not my place to financially support a grown man, to pick up after him when he gets messy, to enable his irresponsibility by picking up his slack, and excusing his immaturity just because he pays me (the least amount of) attention (that requires the least amount of effort).
I can (and will continue to) save myself so much money, time, energy, and every other precious resource that I have by understanding that not every available man out there on the dating market is looking for an actual adult partner, but instead, a bangmaid. And if I'm paying attention to who this man actually is and being willing to really get to know him, I'll be able to tell right away if he's the kind of guy who wants a partner or he's looking for another mommy.
Fortunately, though, I have so much going on in my life right now that a future or potential relationship is at the bottom of my priority list. One less thing.
I really wish that I had learned this many years ago, but better late than never.
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2023.06.07 18:45 Strange_Leather_4421 Hi. You got what you wanted.
You will be happy to hear that I won't be looking at this site for a while. I am taking a break. I also was ba**ed from unsentletters because I dared to challenge someone's awful rhetoric.
You are trying to push me away to protect you and maybe me too when I already know the deal. I know much more than you think - I see it. I think sticking around here hoping to come across you and your antics is my way of passive aggressively getting back at you / trying to not give you what you want. My sort of revenge for you not directly communicating with me, for disappointing me. I will be that gnat in your face that never goes away, even if it makes you think less of me.
Unfortunately, after your biggest stunt, I am starting to lose sight of what is real or not anymore. My discernment is escaping me. It's not healthy. I will still be around after a break but not for the same reasons anymore.
I wish I meant more to you. I wish you trusted me. I wish you would heal and live up to the person you can be. I'm sure your wife and "other women" feel the same.
Despite everything, you hold a special place in my heart. I guess I really am that fat, ugly, dumb c*** with too many stoopid feelings. I can't help myself for whatever reason. I still don't fully understand it. You are the only one that I have ever stuck around this long for in this type of situation... longing and hoping we could be so much more. I do not know what that says about me. I guess that is what I will be working to figure out. That being said, you owe me an apology. I am here if and when you are ever ready to talk again.
I do not know what else to say other than what has already been said. This isn't how I expected this to go. I really did have the best of intentions, and everything went horribly awry. I am truly sorry for my part in that.
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2023.06.07 18:45 Exact_Huckleberry_72 Lap day coming soon
So I have my lap surgery coming up and honestly y’all… all I do is contemplate cancelling. I keep telling myself it isn’t that bad.. recently my cramps haven’t been too awful or when they are I blame it on my IUD. As if I forgot all the times before getting this in that I was in the floor unable to move because of how much pain I was in. And as silly as it is.. I’m terrified of having the scars. I’ve always struggled with self image, and I just don’t know how to handle seeing scars on my stomach especially since I’ve worked so hard to become healthy.
Any advice or just comments would be appreciated in this moment cause I’m scared as hell.
submitted by Exact_Huckleberry_72
to Endo [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 18:45 hopefuldi I feel like bad person - vent/Give homeless people money or food?/tell me your opinions or stories/ I send lots of love to you
Today I went to capital city that I love. I live in small town. I went there to see my doctor and then I had some time so I went to shopping center. There was some guy who came to me. He had some injuries on his face. He said 'I will be completely honest with you, I am homeless. Don't you have any crowns?' I asked him if he wants like bagguete because I had them with me as snack. He said he would need to buy some ham to it so no and asked for money again. I said no. I had chesse with me and those baguetts but I don't even know what I was thinking. He said that it is okay and wished me nice day. I feel so bad. I could have done so much more. I could take him to grocery store to buy him some groceries, I could ask about his story and why is he homeless. I could call some organization or ask if he wants to call some family member or pay him place to sleep at least one night. I could give him hug. But I didn't do anything. I just said no. Then I was turning around because I had really bad feeling from it but he was not there anymore. It wanted so much courage to ask me. I wish I could at least give him those baguettes and chesse or listen his story. I wish I would do at least something. But I completely ignored this person. I should have done something. Also my (mentaly abusive) dad (with who I don't talk to for years) always said never give money to homeless. Then when I was child I heard 'give homeless only food' so that was kinda my natural reaction but my guestion is - does it even make sence? Because I heard people saying to buy them only food so they would not buy drugs and alcohol. But to be honest alcohol has calories too so they would survive. I guess they want to just forget the reality? But I think who wouldn't? I never drink but it makes sence to me that the person wants to numb all the pain and suffering. Also at work workers get salary and their boss don't ask how they will use money. So why we should ask what homeless person will do with money we decided to give them? I just need to hear some opinions and hopefully see things from bigger pespective. I send you all lots of love.
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2023.06.07 18:45 llehsadam Should r/Berlin go dark from June 12-14 in protest against Reddit's API changes which kill 3rd party apps?
A recent Reddit policy change threatens to kill many beloved third-party mobile apps, making a great many quality-of-life features not seen in the official mobile app permanently inaccessible
On May 31, 2023, Reddit announced they were raising the price to make calls to their API from being free to a level that will kill every third party app on Reddit, from Apollo
to Reddit is Fun
Even if you're not a mobile user and don't use any of those apps, this is a step toward killing other ways of customizing Reddit, such as Reddit Enhancement Suite or the use of the old.reddit.com desktop interface
This isn't only a problem on the user level: many subreddit moderators depend on tools only available outside the official app to keep their communities on-topic and spam-free.
For example I was able to increase how much I can do as a moderator because of Apollo. I tried for years to use the official reddit app, but the crashes, unintuitive user interface and slow loading make it extremely hard to browse reddit effectively, let alone moderate.
But that's not the worst part of this. Check out the stickied thread
and how that community may be forced to shut down because of this change. To be honest, this just makes me mad. How can Reddit Inc. be so thoughtless?
Anyway, I think a show of solidarity would be appropriate here.
What's the plan?
On June 12th, many subreddits
will be going dark to protest this policy. Some will return after 48 hours: others will go away permanently
unless the issue is adequately addressed, since many moderators aren't able to put in the work they do with the poor tools available through the official app. This isn't something any of us do lightly: we do what we do because we love Reddit
, and we truly believe this change will make it impossible to keep doing what we love.
The two-day blackout isn't the goal
, and it isn't the end. Should things reach the 14th with no sign of Reddit choosing to fix what they've broken, we'll use the community and buzz we've built between then and now as a tool for further action.
What can you
After discussing this, the moderators of berlin are for joining the blackout, but we would like to ask the community if we should do this before we proceed. So...
- Complain. Message the mods of /reddit.com, who are the admins of the site: message reddit: submit a support request: comment in relevant threads on /reddit, such as this one, leave a negative review on their official iOS or Android app- and sign your username in support to this post.
- Spread the word. Rabble-rouse on related subreddits. Meme it up, make it spicy. Bitch about it to your cat. Suggest anyone you know who moderates a subreddit join us at our sister sub at /ModCoord.
- Boycott and spread the word...to Reddit's competition! Stay off Reddit entirely on June 12th through the 13th- instead, take to your favorite non-Reddit platform of choice and make some noise in support!
- Don't be a jerk. As upsetting this may be, threats, profanity and vandalism will be worse than useless in getting people on our side. Please make every effort to be as restrained, polite, reasonable and law-abiding as possible.
Should berlin join the blackout on June 12th? View Poll
submitted by llehsadam
to berlin [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 18:44 SuccessfulCity7445 Please rework GER's RTZ and fix SBR gamemode
Instead of being its own separate move, make it part of the Nullification: Zero counter so it cant use the forced cutscene. The entire ability of Return to Zero is a counter cuz its only supposed to activiate when the user is under attack. Don't care what anyone else says, thats how the move is supposed to work. Period.
Now, I know it says in the anime that no one will ever reach the truth regardless of abilities, but for the sake of gameplay, it needs to nerfed into the ground so it cant cancel out time-related/dimension-related moves. Giving GER users a move thay guarantees a free combo that, depending on the specs of the GER and their opponent, can take off anywhere from 60-80% of HP is entirely unbalanced, at least with time stop stands, there's a damage cap that, at most lets you deal 40-50% HP worth of damage.
Now for the second issue: Find some solution, idc how you do it but there needs to be a way to stop people from forming 4, 5, or even 6 man squads and wiping servers.
1st option: Replace all other players with bots, meaning there's only 1 actual player per server, and the other 15 are bots. The bots only attack if you attack first, otherwise, they only go for the checkpoints/finish line. If a bot reaches the finish line in any of the first 3 positions, killing that bot will automatically give you any rewards they would have gotten from their placement. (And dont complain about "that would make Heaven quests and tusk skin grinding too easy". Who cares, the skins aren't actually doing anything for you, if anything, they should just take pity out of the game and let you buy any skin you want from a special, randomly spawning NPC using lucky arrows to pay for the skin.
2nd: Option Disable PVP for the entirety of the race until all players have reached the 4th checkpoint, and then have players face off in a tournament, 1v1'ing each other until there's only 3 players left, and let those three race to the finish line.
Also, these are much more minor issues, but they are definitely things that I think are annoying and make the game less enjoyable in general The first thing being Tusk Acts 3 and 4 and Cream getting stuck under certain parts of the map when using Wormhole Uppercut/Void Suprise. Its not that big of a deal cuz most of the time all you gotta do to get out is use the move again, but sometimes it happens at the worst times. Maybe instead of making the player actually go under the ground, make it so only the stand goes under. If you can make Stone Free and RHCP launch themselves at people with String Pilot and Lightning Jabs, I see no reason Tusk's uppercut and Cream's void surprise can't be made to act the same way.
This next one tho, I think is just really annoying. Having people get 75 PvP kills in total just to get twoh is rediculous. First of all, that's an unreasonable amount of kills for a stand that can do very little. The only thing the stand has going for it is the high damage, and even that is easily outclassed by stands like KCR and D4C:LT. Second, given the awful way in which the kill credit system works, its even more unreasonably difficult. Why is it set up to require a player to deal the majority of the damage to their opponent in order to get credit for the kill?
This is how it SHOULD work: Any and all players who have even laid so much as a finger on an enemy should get the credit. What do I mean by that? Lemme explain. Say I'm fighting a Star Platinum user, and I hit them 1 time, and then 5 other people hit that Star Platinum only 1 time. If that Star Platinum dies or leaves the game, disconnected or otherwise, it should count as a kill for all the people who hit that Star Platinum.
Side note: speaking of getting disconnected or leaving. YBA devs, please make it so that as long as ANY amount of damage was done to someone, it still counts as a kill for any and all players if the victim leaves the game.
There's no reason for TWOH to be such a pain in the ass to obtain. It gets easily beat out by even the most basic stands in the game so, really you're getting something that wasn't anywhere near the amount of effort that you're required to put in just to get it.
While the twoh thing is annoying, its not a terribly big deal in comparison to how purely unbalanced GER is and how bullshit SBR is. Seriously, Uzu, Paragon, literally anyone responsible for the continued development of YBA, help us out here.
I'm sure you're all trying your best to tweak and balance the game as much as possible so I'm not tryna shit all over your efforts, I'm just mostly bringing up issues that I feel need your attention, just in the possible case you weren't already aware of them.
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to YBAOfficial [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 18:44 US3RN4M3CH3CKSOUT Scared I’m losing my wife…
Marriage Advice Needed.
I need some advice, but I feel a crash course in our relationship is needed first, and I’ll try doing this as short as I can / CliffNotes style
- I am 46, she is 35.
- BFF’s before dating.
- We are an attractive, middle class couple (might help?)
- Dating 12 years, married 7.
- Told her I was going to marry her the very first time we met.
- Both have a previous marriage.
- Been Sober for 8+ years. (Used to drink beer almost all day long).
- I am a combat veteran (USMC).
- I was never one to really care about feelings / emotion, etc.
- She’s the opposite, the most loyal & loving person that Ive ever met.
- Speaking of loyalty, I have never cheated on her. Never touched another female since the day we started dating.
- However, I have done stupid shit like browse dating sites looking at profiles and such. Though never met anyone or anything.
- About 2 months ago, I noticed her being more distant… There is no sex anymore, she will barely kiss me.
- I went to her, and told her I want to fix “us” and get back to how we used to be, actually better than that.
- She lost it on me, telling me how for years she dealt with my shitty attitude, lies and rejections… caught me off guard but it was obviously something she needed to get out.
- Since that day, I feel like it’s just getting worse. She says it’s gonna take time to where she can trust me again.
- She used to call and text me all day long, now it’s maybe one call a day and a few texts.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?! She doesn’t wanna talk about anything, she is very distant. She knows how I feel… do I just back off? I really don’t wanna lose her… she’s my person and my soul mate. I will give her time, but there is such little reassurance / effort on her kart that it feels hopeless. Thanks in advance for your advice and opinions. -Chris.
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2023.06.07 18:44 PSSD_Kara Re: modmail I got and items in post queue about abuse by borderline and/or narcissistic therapists
Hi, I had a person submit various posts and comments as well as send me multiple modmails about the issue of a therapist who was diagnosable/labelable in their opinion, as borderline. Given that my former therapist was almost certainly a covert narcissist, talking about patterns of antisocial behavior under these two labels actually is allowed and I do this myself all the time here.
Dear person who made many posts and modmails while I was literally asleep before my day job: because you cursed in almost every post and comment, a ROBOT removed your content. I wasn’t censoring you and I’m not your enemy. If others have REAL suggestions about how to add more moderation tools or even human moderators, let me know. Moderating is harder than it looks and I have found some degree of using robots and then posters needing to (unfortunately) wait for erroneously captured content to be released, to be utterly necessary. Y’all should see what the robot catches that never makes it to the front page. There is quite a bit of reason for it. Because nobody sees this content, nobody understands how much work it actually does to help/protect the forum. Legitimate content will be released within 24-48 hours.
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to therapyabuse [link] [comments]
2023.06.07 18:44 That-redhead-artist Thankful for my reactive dog
My first post here. I've been a lurker for some time. Reading the posts here makes me feel less alone and crazy. Wasn't sure the flair to use for this. I hope it is okay.
What I really want to say is how thankful I am for my fear reactive husky. She was my first dog since moving out of home (I'm 38 and moved out 18 years ago so a long time). I didn't really know what I was doing when I got her from a backyard breeder. I found out when I went to get her at 3 months that she had almost 0 human contact in those first 3 months, and lived in a pen outside with her parents. The shelter in the pen had the biggest beehive I've ever seen on the side. They almost couldn't go in to get her. Despite the glaring red flags I brought her home. Boy was it a new experience for me. My dogs when I was younger where naturally well behaved. I had never even heard of reactivity before. I did the dive into research and training. I discovered R+ training and used it extensively with her. She was so scared she hid in a corner of our first floor for two weeks. I couldn't walk her, socialize her or anything I thought I would be able to do with my new puppy. She fear peed over everything. But with treat and Retreat method and letting her decompress, she started to open up. I remember the first time she wagged her tail at me. It's been a long road but I have become a much more aware and better dog owner because of it. She can do hikes now, and go into pet stores with me. She has friends she loves to see, both human and dog. She still has struggles, don't get me wrong, but I love her anyway.
The biggest reason for being thankful came when we decided to get another dog. I knew what I was doing this time and went through a reputable breeder for our GSD. I also am frontloaded with many techniques and methods I had no idea about. Our newest puppy is doing amazing with training and has provided my husky with a playmate for times I can't walk her. I would never have known how important it is to do proper training I don't think, if I didn't have a reactive dog. I also have more empathy for others I see struggling with their dogs on walks. I get that they don't have a 'bad dog', and are probably trying their best too. So as much of a struggle as it can be, and through the bad days, I am glad I have my husky. She has made me a better dog owner.
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