Brother rapes sister porn

Just wishing everyone a great day!!!

I talked to my psychologist about how I don't want to have sex with men because I don't think vaginas are appreciated by men, in general.
I told her straight men sexualise and fetishize women who have penises but straight women and gay men don't do that with men who have vaginas. And that this means penises are more liked & valued. She said the vast majority of men have no interest in transgender women pre op and post op and that the vast majority have no interest in women who have penises nor that type of porn, sex work/sex tourism industry.
I said men are more attracted to a performance or costume of femininity (clothes, makeup, hair) than they are to actual women, so they are attracted to feminized men, and find a woman with an unshaven body, an overweight woman, very short hair woman or UNfeminine woman more of a turn off than feminized men. And that men think femininity=submissive and wanting to be fucked. So the men who look feminine are seen in that way. Whereas women and gay men are attracted to both feminine men and masculine men (think of all the androgynous male celeb heartthrobs over the years) and not just to masculinity itself, so they would find feminine men less of a turn off than masculine women. She said not at all.
I said oral is believed to be much more commonly performed on men than performed on women and that this isn't because of men being selfish, since gay men are men and have no issues about giving oral. She said oral is 50/50 between the genders.
I said vaginas are seen as gross and taboo and have stigma and that penises are more casual and normalised. She said not at all. She also said periods are not taboo, just private. I said gay men are known to be far more openly disgusted by and insulting about vaginas than lesbians are about penises. She said not at all. I said lesbians are more open to transgender women than gay men are open to transgender men. She said not at all.
I said large penises, boobs and butts are more appreciated and liked than any vagina type. I said that many bisexual men say that they are bi just for penis but not for the rest of a man and many bisexual women say that they are bisexual but for the rest of a woman but not the vagina. I said sex is not viewed as real sex without a penis and that sex is viewed to be all about the penis, so lesbian sex is not taken seriously. She said not at all.
I said vaginas are seen as submissive and penises are seen as dominant and that people think sexually dominant women are mostly about penis imitation in the form of strap ons and pegging. She said not at all.
I meant these things about people in general (not every single man or woman) and she said I was wrong about the vast majority of people. I even asked my parents and sister in a separate occasion, and they agreed with her. She also said people on Reddit who answer questions and ask questions are not so normal because most mainstream people don't do that, so to be wary of what I read on here.
What do you think?

I talked to my psychologist about how I don't want to have sex with men because I don't think vaginas are appreciated by men, in general.
I told her straight men sexualise and fetishize women who have penises but straight women and gay men don't do that with men who have vaginas. And that this means penises are more liked & valued. She said the vast majority of men have no interest in transgender women pre op and post op and that the vast majority have no interest in women who have penises nor that type of porn, sex work/sex tourism industry.
I said men are more attracted to a performance or costume of femininity (clothes, makeup, hair) than they are to actual women, so they are attracted to feminized men, and find a woman with an unshaven body, an overweight woman, very short hair woman or UNfeminine woman more of a turn off than feminized men. And that men think femininity=submissive and wanting to be fucked. So the men who look feminine are seen in that way. Whereas women and gay men are attracted to both feminine men and masculine men (think of all the androgynous male celeb heartthrobs over the years) and not just to masculinity itself, so they would find feminine men less of a turn off than masculine women. She said not at all.
I said oral is believed to be much more commonly performed on men than performed on women and that this isn't because of men being selfish, since gay men are men and have no issues about giving oral. She said oral is 50/50 between the genders.
I said vaginas are seen as gross and taboo and have stigma and that penises are more casual and normalised. She said not at all. She also said periods are not taboo, just private. I said gay men are known to be far more openly disgusted by and insulting about vaginas than lesbians are about penises. She said not at all. I said lesbians are more open to transgender women than gay men are open to transgender men. She said not at all.
I said large penises, boobs and butts are more appreciated and liked than any vagina type. I said that many bisexual men say that they are bi just for penis but not for the rest of a man and many bisexual women say that they are bisexual but for the rest of a woman but not the vagina. I said sex is not viewed as real sex without a penis and that sex is viewed to be all about the penis, so lesbian sex is not taken seriously. She said not at all.
I said vaginas are seen as submissive and penises are seen as dominant and that people think sexually dominant women are mostly about penis imitation in the form of strap ons and pegging. She said not at all.
I meant these things about people in general (not every single man or woman) and she said I was wrong about the vast majority of people. I even asked my parents and sister in a separate occasion, and they agreed with her. She also said people on Reddit who answer questions and ask questions are not so normal because most mainstream people don't do that, so to be wary of what I read on here.
What do you think?

I talked to my psychologist about how I don't want to have sex with men because I don't think vaginas are appreciated by men, in general.
I told her straight men sexualise and fetishize women who have penises but straight women and gay men don't do that with men who have vaginas. And that this means penises are more liked & valued. She said the vast majority of men have no interest in transgender women pre op and post op and that the vast majority have no interest in women who have penises nor that type of porn, sex work/sex tourism industry.
I said men are more attracted to a performance or costume of femininity (clothes, makeup, hair) than they are to actual women, so they are attracted to feminized men, and find a woman with an unshaven body, an overweight woman, very short hair woman or UNfeminine woman more of a turn off than feminized men. And that men think femininity=submissive and wanting to be fucked. So the men who look feminine are seen in that way. Whereas women and gay men are attracted to both feminine men and masculine men (think of all the androgynous male celeb heartthrobs over the years) and not just to masculinity itself, so they would find feminine men less of a turn off than masculine women. She said not at all.
I said oral is believed to be much more commonly performed on men than performed on women and that this isn't because of men being selfish, since gay men are men and have no issues about giving oral. She said oral is 50/50 between the genders.
I said vaginas are seen as gross and taboo and have stigma and that penises are more casual and normalised. She said not at all. She also said periods are not taboo, just private. I said gay men are known to be far more openly disgusted by and insulting about vaginas than lesbians are about penises. She said not at all. I said lesbians are more open to transgender women than gay men are open to transgender men. She said not at all.
I said large penises, boobs and butts are more appreciated and liked than any vagina type. I said that many bisexual men say that they are bi just for penis but not for the rest of a man and many bisexual women say that they are bisexual but for the rest of a woman but not the vagina. I said sex is not viewed as real sex without a penis and that sex is viewed to be all about the penis, so lesbian sex is not taken seriously. She said not at all.
I said vaginas are seen as submissive and penises are seen as dominant and that people think sexually dominant women are mostly about penis imitation in the form of strap ons and pegging. She said not at all.
I meant these things about people in general (not every single man or woman) and she said I was wrong about the vast majority of people. I even asked my parents and sister in a separate occasion, and they agreed with her. She also said people on Reddit who answer questions and ask questions are not so normal because most mainstream people don't do that, so to be wary of what I read on here.
What do you think?

I talked to my psychologist about how I don't want to have sex with men because I don't think vaginas are appreciated by men, in general.
I told her straight men sexualise and fetishize women who have penises but straight women and gay men don't do that with men who have vaginas. And that this means penises are more liked & valued. She said the vast majority of men have no interest in transgender women pre op and post op and that the vast majority have no interest in women who have penises nor that type of porn, sex work/sex tourism industry.
I said men are more attracted to a performance or costume of femininity (clothes, makeup, hair) than they are to actual women, so they are attracted to feminized men, and find a woman with an unshaven body, an overweight woman, very short hair woman or UNfeminine woman more of a turn off than feminized men. And that men think femininity=submissive and wanting to be fucked. So the men who look feminine are seen in that way. Whereas women and gay men are attracted to both feminine men and masculine men (think of all the androgynous male celeb heartthrobs over the years) and not just to masculinity itself, so they would find feminine men less of a turn off than masculine women. She said not at all.
I said oral is believed to be much more commonly performed on men than performed on women and that this isn't because of men being selfish, since gay men are men and have no issues about giving oral. She said oral is 50/50 between the genders.
I said vaginas are seen as gross and taboo and have stigma and that penises are more casual and normalised. She said not at all. She also said periods are not taboo, just private. I said gay men are known to be far more openly disgusted by and insulting about vaginas than lesbians are about penises. She said not at all. I said lesbians are more open to transgender women than gay men are open to transgender men. She said not at all.
I said large penises, boobs and butts are more appreciated and liked than any vagina type. I said that many bisexual men say that they are bi just for penis but not for the rest of a man and many bisexual women say that they are bisexual but for the rest of a woman but not the vagina. I said sex is not viewed as real sex without a penis and that sex is viewed to be all about the penis, so lesbian sex is not taken seriously. She said not at all.
I said vaginas are seen as submissive and penises are seen as dominant and that people think sexually dominant women are mostly about penis imitation in the form of strap ons and pegging. She said not at all.
I meant these things about people in general (not every single man or woman) and she said I was wrong about the vast majority of people. I even asked my parents and sister in a separate occasion, and they agreed with her. She also said people on Reddit who answer questions and ask questions are not so normal because most mainstream people don't do that, so to be wary of what I read on here.
What do you think?

I was just wondering. I, as a Hindu, consider all Buddhists my brothers and sisters and the Buddhist philosophy a part of our Nastika Darshana schools of thought. I respect and love Buddha, and consider him as an incarnation of Vishnu. We respect his teachings and love your discipline. What do you think about us and our philosophy (Bhagavad Gita, Upanishads, Brahma Sutras, etc*)?

Author's Note:
Hi everyone, I'm so excited to announce the remastered version of "The Devil Assured Me". In celebration, I've decided to publish the first chapter also here on the HFY sub-reddit. If you wish to show me some support, please check out the story on Tapas, and consider following me there. I really appreciate your support!
Cover Read it on Tapas Discord server
Story blurb:
Step into the year 1827 and enter the tumultuous life of Dante, a young victim of the working class, struggling to make ends meet through child labor. Discrimination and hardship have cultivated a deep-seated hatred within him, not just for his own circumstances, but for the entire social class that suffers alongside him.
As fate would have it, a tragic incident brings Dante to the brink of death, where he meets the Devil and pleads for a chance to change his life. Upon waking in a decrepit hospital, Dante's life seems to have taken a positive turn. However, his path takes a dark and twisted turn when he enters Dennis' manor and uncovers the true reason behind his encounter with the Devil.
But this is not just Dante's story; it's a tale of characters with their own distinct views on life, each struggling to succeed in their personal endeavors. The story delves deep into the themes of tragedy, violence, and discrimination, and challenges the reader to question their own perceptions of society.
Prepare to be drawn into a world of gripping narrative, powerful characters, and thought-provoking themes that will leave an indelible mark on your mind.
Chapter 1 - A Beautiful Dream
Visual Image
“…..”
“It has been quite a while since we last encountered, has it not?”
“…..”
“You don’t wish to talk?”
“…..”
“You’re left with nothing, but a mere illusion of emptiness, how will you persist, having discovered the truth? He awaits You. Do you bear a grudge against Him, or do you understand His deeds?”
“…..”
“After all, you did not choose this path, or did you?”
“…..”
“It is high time for you to return to slumber, for you cannot foresee your own future, but you know that by now, right?”
“…..”
“Goodbye, Vincent, but bear in mind…”
“Never lose your faith.”
Visual Image (2)
"Dante... Dante..., Dante!"
Gasp, "Mother..."
"It is time to wake up, Dante..."
I had experienced such a delightful dream, however, reality has once again dealt me a harsh blow. My parents' endeavors to provide for our household are meager, and residing in a cramped and dilapidated cottage, I was awakened to prepare for my daily labor.
I am Dante, a 16-year-old boy, residing with my two younger sisters and one younger brother, and both of my parents, in the rural outskirts of Castle Combe, England. The year is 1827. Our family is impoverished, subsisting on the brink of destitution in our humble abode, relying on the proceeds of my father's fishing and the limited bread we can afford through the labor that both my father and I undertake.
As the eldest, I have always shouldered the responsibility of caring for my siblings.
My father is a fisherman and also toils in the same factory as I. We are the primary sources of income for our household, while my mother, suffering from a debilitating condition, oversees the children, and manages to prepare meals and attend to the basic needs of my siblings.
As I groggily extricated myself from my bed, my father, attired in his work attire, wore a perpetual expression of gravity, his black hair tied in a brown cord, his gaze fixed upon me...
"Are you gonna sit there and watch me? Get up!"
I had not realized it, but my body felt as if it were on the brink of collapse. The rigors of labor have taken their toll on me. Six days every week. I felt so fatigued...
"Father, I am not feeling well..."
My father's anger was immediately aroused upon hearing my despairing words. He approached me, seized my emaciated arm, and dragged me from my bed. As I fell to the ground, my head began to spin.
I remained with my head resting on the floor, my father's shouts ringing in my ears.
"Get up or else you will be sleeping in the woods again!"
My mother attempted to placate him, but to no avail, he pushed her away. I ponder what has caused this sudden change in him.
We once lived in a slightly larger cottage, but unfortunately, the land on which it stood was requisitioned to build the factory where my father and I now labor. We were evicted and spent months as homeless individuals, until fate smiled upon us and we discovered this small cottage, which now serves as our home. Sadly, it came with a grueling and perilous lifestyle. It has been five years since we were evicted, the factory was completed two years later. Shortly thereafter, boy children living below the poverty line aged 13 or older were conscripted to work at the factory.
We are viewed as mere expendable laborers, and who can blame them, they hold the power. And where else can we go, we are of no use to anyone other than as manual laborers. None of us have any formal education either. It is a lamentable state of affairs.
I have been employed at the factory for over three years now.
My vision began to blur, but I mustered the strength to hoist myself upright and don my work clothes. It still pains me to see how my father has become so abusive in recent years. I often ponder, "I strive to the best of my ability to not disappoint my family, yet I am treated in this manner. Why...?"
I only had the opportunity to imbibe a small amount of water before my father ushered me out of the cottage, and I had yet to bid farewell to my sisters.
"Don't make me go late, son. You will be dead if we are."
I am surprised that I am able to remain upright, without the support of my father, I fear I would have succumbed to collapse. I can only pray that someone will display benevolence and provide me with something to relieve my grogginess or any other means to achieve the same end.
…..
Upon our arrival at the factory, a cutting-edge knife manufacturing facility established by a benevolent organization, I had formed a few acquaintances. Among them, one individual stood out to me. I had never disclosed my domestic plight to him, yet he seemed to be cognizant of it. He consistently made efforts to look after me.
He exuded an air of jubilance, and like myself, he was of humble means. Despite the harsh winter weather, he persistently wore his work clothes, a sight that caused me much sorrow as I knew he did not possess a coat. As a result, I had resolved to save a minuscule amount of money, with the intention of purchasing him a modest but durable coat when winter arrived. Fortunately, it is currently autumn. His name is Thomas.
My colleagues and friends often likened Thomas and I to the Sun and Moon, with Thomas being the embodiment of brightness and myself being the embodiment of melancholy. I cannot fault them for this perception, as I do possess a penchant for a melancholic disposition. I had even considered cutting my long black hair in an attempt to alter their perception, despite my personal inclination towards it.
My role at the factory primarily involved honing the knives crafted by the older workers. The task could become quite arduous as we were not provided with gloves and were required to perform our duties with bare hands. The heat was a constant affliction, but one becomes accustomed to it over time.
My father and I would separate after signing in at the administration room. I would proceed to my designated work area, while my father would depart. Thomas, however, would always await me in the administration room, at the opposite end of the hallway.
"Top of the morning Dante! Had a good sleep?"
(As boisterous as ever... A perfect substitute for a cup of coffee, his energy alone is invigorating...)
"Yes, I've been okay."
Thomas approached me and ruffled my hair, (great. Now it's disheveled again...)
"Lookin a little pale today mate, you sure you're... okay...?"
He forgot I was with my father, as I mentioned earlier, it seemed as if he were privy to my domestic circumstances. He raised his gaze and saw my father glaring at him.
"Good morning mister Porter! Let's make it a good day today alright!"
He attempted to greet him cheerfully, only for my father to leave an awkward silence as he walked away without a word.
My other friends arrived as well, we were a group of four individuals. We had all met each other at the inception of the factory. I could say that we had grown quite close to one another, even my reticent self had warmed up to them, it was a pleasant feeling to say the least.
Me, Thomas, Okabe, and Gabriel. Okabe's parents were foreigners, hailing from the distant country of Japan. However, Okabe had been born here.
He was not well-versed in the customs of his motherland. He and Gabriel possessed a more relaxed disposition. Both of them were not as impoverished as Thomas and I, yet were still of modest means to be working at the factory. They both had the opportunity to attend school, a privilege that I envied. I am certain Thomas did as well.
Gabriel was the tallest among us, he also possessed the most striking visage. It was sometimes difficult to reconcile that he lived a life of poverty. He possessed all the desirable attributes, with his beautiful short-cropped blonde hair, hazel blue eyes, and well-proportioned physique.
Okabe was the shortest among us, he also commonly donned his work clothes, almost as frequently as Thomas did. He often bore a relaxed expression on his face and was never reticent to engage in conversation. He bore a visible scar on the right side of his face, and he would become hostile whenever anyone inquired about it.
Thomas was our jester, it still befuddled me how he and the others were able to maintain such a positive disposition. I would constantly observe them at the workplace, and it was astounding to me that they were able to laugh and jest while we worked. Thomas was almost as tall as Gabriel, he had freckles on his face, green eyes, and ginger hair color. He often had his hair tied back.
Then, there was me. Compared to my contemporaries, I appeared to be the most unwell. I donned larger-sized garments to obscure my gaunt physique. Though I was unable to conceal my emaciated visage from the others, it was a small price to pay. My dark brown eyes did not lend themselves to an appearance of vitality.
"You sick or something? You're looking so pale, did you have breakfast?" Gabriel inquired.
I ignored Gabriel and cast my gaze upon my father, who was already occupied with his work.
"No..."
Gabriel reached into his satchel and procured a substantial piece of cinnamon-sugared bread, which he offered to me.
"Work this down, I also have some water for you. We have some time before we go work anyway."
I was relieved to have something to eat for breakfast, as I had gone nearly two days without sustenance. I was famished...
We engaged in idle chitchat, with Thomas regaling us with his fantastical tales, as was his wont. He frequently related the dreams he had recently experienced.
But all good things must come to an end, and it was time to commence work. Thankfully, it was also a Saturday, so we did not have to labor on Sundays, which was the day I finally got to rest.
.....
We got to take a little breath, for 30 minutes. We sat together at a table outside, and they all brought food with them. However, I did not have anything with me. I surmised that we only had enough food to eat before nightfall, and nothing to bring with us for the day. I should suggest to my father that we should endeavor to go hunting sometime. We live in close proximity to nature, after all.
(Where even is he? Should he not be here...)
I observed my father indulging in a hearty meal of meat and bread with his colleagues. Lucky him...
"What are ya dozing off for Dante?" Thomas queried.
I shrugged it off, shaking my head, it was nothing, I was accustomed to this, anyhow. My friends most likely did not have enough to share, anyhow, so I would let them be.
"Oh, it's nothing, perhaps I did not sleep enough."
To my surprise, Thomas handed me a piece of bread.
"Here ya go, fella! Chomp it down, you bony vessel."
I supposed it was my lucky day, today.
"Thank you."
We continued our banter, and Gabriel made an unusual comment about me.
"Do you guys not think Dante's vocabulary is so different from ours?"
"Oooh, yeah! He talks like those noble squirrels!" Thomas replied.
Even Okabe silently nodded in agreement. Me, being compared to nobility? What a jest.
"Oh please friends."
"Hey, why not go out together tomorrow? Go in the woods, the cities, steal some food for ourselves, ya?" Thomas proposed.
"But tomorrow is resting day, you know that. Stores are most likely closed on Sundays." Okabe responded.
Gabriel insisted on Thomas his idea, "Let's try it okay? We come here at noon, at the front gate. Is that okay?"
We eventually came to an agreement to venture out together the following day. The only issue was our parents...
Visual Image (3)
The day had come to a close. I returned home with my father, it was always a comfort to be reunited with my family, who were all in good health. My mother was engaged in preparing a meal, and my younger brother greeted me with enthusiasm, having evidently missed me greatly.
"Dante! Hey, Papa!"
"Hello, Noah. Have you been good?"
"Yes, Dante! I help mommy!"
I assumed my sisters were asleep, but Mother noticed our return. My father had gone to their bedroom, leaving me with Noah and Mother.
"Hello, honey. How was work?"
"It was okay, Mother. I feel a little better, too."
"Oh! I made some tea that might help you feel even better!"
She poured me a cup of tea made from simple ingredients like herbs, plants, cinnamon, and sugar. It was the best tea I had ever tasted, and I felt a sense of pure euphoria with my first sip.
"Where did you get this from, Mother?"
"I made it myself, dear."
"I really like it, Mother. I would love to have more."
"I'm so glad you do. Change into your nightclothes, and let's relax before bed."
I changed and came back downstairs to spend time with my family. My father was engrossed in a book and not inclined to converse with us. Eventually, I retired to my bedchamber, gazing at the beautiful night sky…

Hello brother or sister, thank you for taking the time to read this.
My back started to hurt suddenly, I've got work, I'm sleep deprived a bit some days and stressed financially. Would you mind praying for me and my financial situation so I can get a promotion or better yet a blessing on my life from the Lord if He wills. Alongside those things I need to improve my health and I plead with you to pray that God helps me lead my marriage while blessing it immensely. Thank you and be blessed.

Hello brother or sister, thank you for taking the time to read this.
My back started to hurt suddenly, I've got work, I'm sleep deprived a bit some days and stressed financially. Would you mind praying for me and my financial situation so I can get a promotion or better yet a blessing on my life from the Lord if He wills. Alongside those things I need to improve my health and I plead with you to pray that God helps me lead my marriage while blessing it immensely. Thank you and be blessed.

Hi everyone,
I'm a 20-year-old trans girl living in Australia. Over the past few months I've made leaps and bounds in coming to terms with being trans, and engaging with queer clubs at uni, making new supportive friends, etc. I feel really ready to transition and I really want to start experimenting with what I wear, makeup, etc. (First at home, then with supportive friends / in queer spaces). In fact I'm gonna be starting HRT within a few weeks!!!
The issue is, I still live at home with my parents, brother, and sister because I'm studying uni full time. Now I'm only out to my mum so far, and she's supportive of it. My dad doesn't know the first thing about trans people, but he's highly unlikely to be actually transphobic, probably just really confused and uninformed. The same goes for my sister - she'll probably be fine with it. My brother is kinda homophobic but my parents will make sure he doesn't actually say anything.
My dysphoria is so bad now that transitioning ASAP isn't a choice, but the idea of transitioning while living at home fills me with dread. That feels really stupid, because there are people out there with legitimately and violently transphobic households who have situations a million times worse than me - my situation is really pretty good.
There are a few reasons I find the idea of living at home while transitioning so hard. Firstly, like I said earlier I really want to start experimenting with my gender. I'm not comfortable or ready to present female in public (or really, in front of anyone else) yet but if I lived out of home I'd be putting on makeup, painting nails, wearing female clothes every night once I got home from uni. At home, I can't do that because I'm not out to my dad, brother, or sister - and even if I was out to them, I get a huge amount of anxiety from being perceived. Because I obviously wouldn't actually pass I'd be terrified of the way they perceive me. Obviously that's all in my head but it feels very very very real. It's something I'll need to work through, but working through it feels impossible while I'm in the midst of it. What I really need is my own space where I won't be perceived, where I can just exist, and right now I don't have that (my room is small and anyone could walk in whenever, and even if I had a lock I'd need to leave to go to the bathroom or use the kitchen or whatever).
The other thing is, transitioning is always hard on the family, and I totally understand that, but witnessing that firsthand with no "escape" from it per se is something I'm not sure I'll be able to handle properly amongst all the other stress of transitioning. The only spaces I'm ever in are uni (which is queer accepting but I'm not remotely ready to present female at uni), tutoring (which I'm going to have to boymode in all year to keep my clients), and occasionally at a friend's house or queer bar which is a "safe space" - but in all of those spaces I'm being perceived, I don't have a space to be alone.
I just get really anxious about being perceived and I'm also somewhat autistic and really really need alone time - which I basically never get. I get alone time in the sense that I'm in my room a lot but I never can feel alone at a psychological level because I know I'll always run into family members going to the kitchen or bathroom or whenever. I just feel so bad about this because I love my family, I have nothing against any of them and none of them would probably even say or think anything bad or hateful about me but I'm just so fucked up in the head and anxious and I just desperately want to be alone most of the time because what I need is room to experiment and work out what I want to do with myself.
Finally, I also some have past trauma with my brother having really severe anger issues when he was younger, and even though it's all past and I've forgiven everyone I can still feel the traces of it when I live at home, back when it was a thing I never felt safe outside of my room and the ghost of that feeling is still there a lot of the time, even though it's all in the past and I don't hold it against anyone. But it really doesn't mix well with all the trans stuff now and I just really need a space where I do feel 100% safe and comfortable and alone, because as much as I hate it and feel bad about it I really do struggle to feel comfortable or let my guard down when I'm at home around family (or really, anywhere, cause it's not like being out in public is any better, although it is different)
So I've been considering moving out, but I don't even know how I could do that, because tutoring is too unstable of a job and I'm doing uni. Even if I dropped to part-time uni, where would I work? I'd either have to boymode somewhere, and I don't know how well that would work because I honestly think I might pass pretty well after I'm on HRT for a bit and had laser. But either way, I don't have my degree, and I'm not really sure where I'd work to make enough money to rent a place of my own especially with skyrocketing rent prices where I live. I could live with flatmates but then that brings back the whole issue of being perceived - it's just so god damn difficult that my weird autistic messed up mind can't handle the idea of presenting female in front of other people before I get used to it by myself.
This is all such a first world problem, people have it so much worse than me, but I just don't know what to do. At a subconscious, but very real, psychological level, I just can't relax or feel safe when I'm at home. I've lived out of home before but that was before I felt ready to experiment. Now that I am ready to and really want/need to try out presenting female (even if just to alleviate my dysphoria after being at uni all day) I can't do it, even though my family would probably be fine and even supportive, I just can't move past traces of past trauma and all the distance I've put up psychologically from having to present male for so long, and I just don't want to be exposed 24/7 to their process of accepting me and coming to terms with me being trans (even though I 100% respect that because I had to go through that exact same process).
So yeah I don't fucking know what to do and it's really getting me down because I am starting HRT soon, but until I can bring myself to come out to my brother and sister I can't even present female at home, and I'm sure not going to be ready to present female anywhere else until I do at home. I've thought about asking some of my queer friends if I can try stuff on at their places and I'm sure they'd be more than fine with that but I'm really just not ready to be presenting female in front of anyone else before I can try it myself. Ugh.
This post ended up way longer than I expected so I doubt anyone will read it but if anyone does, is there any advice you think might help? I have no close trans friends irl who I can talk about this stuff with so I kinda just don't know what to do in general

It was way beyond the midday, when Keyaruga woke up from his restless dream. Freia, Setsuna, Eve – all of his companions clung to him in some way or another, so it took a bit of effort not to wake them up.
It didn’t work. I still see them. I still… dream of them.
The hero stood up, but a heavy burden on his soul never allowed him to straighten his stiff shoulders. His vengeance was almost complete. Even if Blade survived, she would have to live with her trauma from her encounter with the healer for the rest of her miserable days.
Josephine too carried deep scars within her, and after what happened in the night, her wounds would never heal. Takemikazuchi didn’t save his daughter, he merely took away the tormented doll from the lad, thus prolonging her suffering.
So what now? My vengeance wasn’t worth it?.. No… It was. Someone had to do something about that bitch, and I even got my divine armament, so I mustn’t think about it too much.
My issues, though… Nobody can help me with that, so sparing myself will only make me weaker. Persevere, Keyaruga. You’re a man, so keep it together and don’t whine.
With that in mind, the man pulled his clothes from the wardrobe, dressed, and even gathered Blade’s tattered clothes. He had a pretty nice idea of who would pay for these rags and scraps. Before that, though…
…
Eve Reese was the second to rise. She slept in a sitting pose, covering herself with a pair of shiny black wings. Not like she felt cold amidst the summer in her dark nightgown, but the first thing she wished to obtain was her outfit. Conveniently enough, it hanged on the nearest chair.
“Good morning, birdie. I washed your dress, it must be dry now.” The man spoke monotonously, sitting behind a table in the far corner of the room.
“It’s not… morning.” The strained maiden replied, as she changed her clothes. From one side, there was nothing to be embarrassed of, since the healer was never distracted from his deeds. From another… “Do you always keep your guard up? It’s hard, you know? Living like that.” The maiden deadpanned, staring at the lad’s back. She didn’t actually fear this man. Remained cautious – certainly, but at the same time she saw traces of her deceased father in him. Sure, he did cheat on her mom a few times, just like Keyaruga indulged in sexual debaucheries with Freia and Setsuna, but at the same time, both of them never spared themselves from having to protect the ones close to them. Somehow… “I wouldn’t want you to die too.”
“Calm down, Eve, I’m immortal.” He dryly replied to her comment. He didn’t want her to fear for him, and yet the lad couldn’t stop worrying about her. His various phobias were rooted in the same memories of past traumas as his nightmares. Even if he knew, that only the toughest could defeat his girls. “Are you hungry?”
“I think… A little bit, yes.” The black-winged girl spoke, strolling toward the man. She noticed alchemical tools, a few pouches of different roots, plants, some fresh, some dried, some turned into fine powder in the glass mortar. “What’re you doing, Keyaruga?”
“Pondering my orb.” The man responded, half-jokingly, half-serious. The white sphere was placed on a towel on the far left corner of the table. But even so, he barely even looked at that direction.
“It doesn’t look that way.” The queen-to-be noted, taking one of two dozen phials from a small wooden box. The liquid of green and red piqued her curiosity with its peculiar nature. The color didn’t mix, after all, no matter how much the girl shook the vessel. “What is it?”
“Our money. So please put it back from where you took it.” Despite his own words, Keyaruga snatched the bottle from Eve’s hands himself. Put it in back in its place. Everything must be in order, after all. “I’m almost finished. After that, well, a carriage will come and take us to a restaurant.” He elaborated, briefly showing the maiden a sheet of deformed paper. The was an invitation in almost perfect Phasian, written by none other than Karman.
“I see… Hey, Keyaruga, you don’t look so good. Would you, you know, like to speak about something? Like, what’s happening between you and Freia? Why do you… growl in your sleep? Why…”
“That’s enough.” Keyaruga nagged, pouring his miraculous brew into the last vial. “This is something only me and Freia share.” The hero stated, closing the box he bought, while the girls remained asleep. A perk of living in a trustworthy deity’s house – you can always be sure nothing would happen to your treasures. And even that brief outing was stressful enough for the man.
“Ehm… Alright. Would you want to ask me anything?” Eve carefully wondered, making space for the man. Surprisingly enough, not only did he put the box in the bag, he also stuffed it with the same attire he came home in.
“Yes… It’s not a question, though.” The lad declared, turning his crimson eyes toward Eve’s red pupils. Just like his… “Norn, the princess who leads this entire army, and Freia’s sister, will come with us, regardless of whether she wants to or not, even if I have to butcher her entire army on my own and wipe her memories altogether.” The healer admitted, still staring in Eve’s eyes. There, he saw confusion, a little bit of fear, a little bit of stress, a little bit of anger. Clearly, the girl didn’t accept this reality.
“W-why?” The queen-to-be asked, trying to take a step back, only to find herself unable to do so. The twisted grin on the man’s face filled her with dread, as if the hero dropped his mask to reveal his true colors. She didn’t know much about the second princess, but even the rumors she heard painted Norn as an uncaring devil of plagues and murders in a child’s body.
“Because I made a promise, because I can’t leave her in Margurth’s hands. Because Freia asked me to let her live. Because she’s the visionary of a brand new world, a tactical genius who we can’t do without in our revolutionary campaigns. Because otherwise, her talent will be wasted on mass destruction and genocide. Because I saw the future, in which she razed Tenanulic and left you with only a few hundred cripples among the wasteland of Gurthal, because…”
Because I still love her? Did I ever love her? Did anyone love me? Freia only seeks redemption, Setsuna… Nayuta said she loved me, but she craves the strength I can give her, Kureha sees me as a paragon of justice, an idea rather than a man. And Norn? I was her spy… Maybe, she would use me, until I outlive my usefulness, and then…
The man got lost in his thoughts. So much so, that his own knees failed him and he almost crumbled on the ground right before Eve.
“…y… hey… Hey! Keyaruga!..” He remained deaf to the girl’s exclamation. In a haze, the man hardly even reacted to the reality, barely registered Eve’s attempts to grab him, to keep him from falling. As if hundreds of scrawny arms dragged him into hell, poisoning his tattered mind.
Oh? I passed out for a moment? That’s not good, how can I be strong, when I can’t even hold myself together?
Eve… Wait, what’s Eve doing? She holds me? Why? What can she achieve by that? What?..
“I’m fine, Eve.” The Hero of Healing said, wiping cold sweat from his forehead. It wasn’t a common occurrence for the man to lose his grip on reality that easily, and neither would he allow it to become one. “Let go.”
“No, you’re not, moron! What’s going on with you?” The kokuyoku scion asked somewhat harshly, refusing to break her embrace. She demanded at least some form of explanation. After all, why would anyone want to depend on someone, whose passions and suffering are beyond their comprehension?
“In the future I saw, you had to kill Norn for what she did, and I had to kill you. I hated it, so I’ll make my own destiny, where you and Norn will live.” Keyaruga announced, before patronizingly tapping Eve’s shoulder.
You’d become a Me-ua even without me. But that slut Panakea killed your man. Man… strange, he killed your friends, and you gave him two children… No matter, Panakea wants me to become your champion. And so I will. I will make you the queen myself.
“Thanks…” The maiden quietly said, taking a step back from her guardian. “For your honesty, I mean.” She added, puffing her cute cheeks. “You should get some rest, though.”
“No, I’m fine. And don’t thank me… You don’t even know what you were robbed off.” Keyaruga declared, rising in full height. Then, he turned toward his two other lovely companions. “Wake up, girls! We’re going after our breakfast now!”
After that, I’ll have to get back to the sphere. I’ll finally become a proper hero.
…
Finally, after so many labors, both physical and emotional, Keyaruga could enjoy a moment of peace. Forget about the war, ignore the fact that his ‘destined’ reunion with Eve was orchestrated by the goddess, bury his trauma under a layer of comfort. At least for now, anyway.
Keyaruga, Eve, Setsuna and Freia sat around a single table. They had plenty of expensive food, drinks (both alcoholic and not). Starters and snacks, soups and stews. All of that was paid from Karman’s wallet, of course.
“Allow us to thank you for your generosity.” Keyaruga said to the seller, after at least a minute of his silence. All that time the beastman spoke with Freia about her preferred cosmetics, Setsuna indulged him with a conversation about battle arts, and how some equipment could compliment certain moves, while debilitating others, and even Eve managed to have a comprehensive talk about how the world is turning to shit, referencing political crisis in Confederation.
“You know, I prefer to think of it as investments, rather than gifts. I don’t think you’ll disagree that trust is the most valuable asset.” Karman replied, seamlessly switching from speaking Tarenago with Eve to Phasian with Keyaruga. “Especially when I can enjoy the company of your beauties.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t really deserve these cuties.” The lad commented, taking a brief look at each of his companions.
“Keyaruga, you’re being too harsh on yourself.” The sorceress, who sat to the right from the healer, said, caringly covering the man’s hand with her own palm. For better or worse, she loved him dearly, which everyone around the table could tell. Except Keyaruga himself, to whom that seemed but a temporary passion from the princess, and even his own feelings he perceived as a desperate need for companionship.
“Uh-huh. You deserve Setsuna.” The girl to the left of him even went so far as to jump on the hero’s neck. In a peculiar way, the phlegmatic she-wolf was the beacon of positivity in the party. Not even her recent defeat changed that fact.
With those two Karman had literally no chances. Their infatuation to Keyaruga was still fresh, and even if it was otherwise, their loyalty wouldn’t shatter that easily. Eve, though, wasn’t among the man’s lovers, that much was for certain. So what did the green-haired beastman do? Well, at first, there was a smile. Then, a wink. Did it work? In some way…
“Mi nanpa wor midunarund (I’m not seeking for relationships right now).” Eve indeed noticed the merchant’s attempts to flirt, but she almost instantly cut it off.
“Haa… No luck for me here, I guess.” Karman shrugged, taking a sip of his favorite wine. He knew too well, how easy it was to lose a partner by standing between him and his girl. The vendor already had such a lesson, that he wouldn’t share with the red-haired ‘alchemist’.
“Speaking of luck, is the client satisfied with my potion?” The hero asked slyly. He had little appetite outside of the bare minimum for refilling his body and mind with energy, and yet he was glad to see his companions enjoying the feast.
“You’re a miracle-maker, pal, I’ll give you that! I’d even kiss you for what you did for us!” The merchant sneered, enjoying a fine beef goulash. “It healed the girl in one sip! Although…”
“It hasn’t healed her soul.” Keyaruga admitted, recalling the vigilante’s words. He saved the man both directly and indirectly. After all, it seemed like if nobody offered Nina a free remedy, he wouldn’t listen to Keara, and Blade would’ve squashed him. Would that be beneficial to the healer’s revenge?
Too much of ‘would’s for my liking.
“Basically… Eh, no matter, she’ll get through it, eventually. The girl’s dad went out for a hunt himself, though. Said he saw some chick going toe to toe with Blade, can you believe it? Damn, I hope she’s still kicking.” Karman noted, looking at Keyaruga indifferently shaking a cup of wine in his hands. Fortunately, at that point Setsuna and Freia got back to banqueting.
“Why wouldn’t I believe? I… hired her.” Although it took a little bit of lie, that brief explanation didn’t fail to attract the beastman’s ultimate interest. “She’s a killer, just so you know.”
“No… fucking way!” Karman swore, making sure his distressed is properly conveyed to everyone. Even if Blade’s ‘name’ was deliberately omitted.
“And look, what she brought me.” His astonishment got even greater, as the red-eyed lad grabbed an inconspicuous leather package from under the table and slowly levitated it right to the trader’s hands.
“Farafinatia Ahurama! Is this-?” The magic trick didn’t fail to impress the vendor, sure, but after he peeked inside… “Huh… This is what I think it is?” The merchant mused, evaluating the dirty tattered coat. The cuirass was in much better shape, but either way, he did recognize, who it belonged to. And right after that, the merchant unceremoniously tossed a heavy poach right in Keyaruga’s hand. In would smash his face, if not for the hero’s reaction, though.
“I’m buying this!” The vendor declared, hiding Blade’s clothes under the table, before some nosy folk beside them could tell, over whose demise was the transaction.
“Sold.” Keyaruga nodded, amused with how accurate his prediction turned out to be. The bag, filled with various jewels approximately equaling hundred of Jioral kadmi, Keyaruga hanged onto his belt. Probably, Karman would get even more from the victim’s father anyway. “Although, you shouldn’t sell these before Buranikka’s ‘guests’ get the hell out of here.” The lad warned the merchant, before nodding to Freia, so that the sorceress prepares the real goods.
“Heh, I knew it! My intuition never fails me!” Karman exclaimed, pointing his finger onto the man. His right arm shook in an gesture of enthusiastic endorsement.
“Really now? And what does it tell you now?” Keyaruga wondered, resting his chin onto his joined fingers.
“That you, my friend, didn’t just come here to brag on behalf of your mercenaries, or for a free meal. Ready to meet the market’s demands, alchemist?”
“Heh-heh.” The man chuckled, putting a box right between the dishes. Some were still untouched, some already empty, but what stimulated the monger’s appetite was within the container. “Take a look.”
And so he did. Karman pulled a peculiar monocle from his pocket, and proceeded to meticulously inspect each and every vessel among what Keyaruga presented to him.
“Thirty vials, huh? Restoration potions?” The beastman wondered, cautiously putting the last bottle of non-mixing double-colored liquid back in the box.
“Certainly. First comes the mundane effect – they mend your wounds. Then, this potion rejuvenates endurance. Dare I say, this is my masterpiece?” The red-haired man declared with pride.
“Did you also have to put your blood in it as well?” Karman asked, fighting with an urge to jump from the excitement.
“No, that was an exception.” The Hero of Healing shrugged casually.
“Exception this, exception that. You helped good people, that’s all that matters.” The green-haired man declared before closing the wooden box. “Alright, this is good stuff.”
“Won’t you give it a taste, then?” Keyaruga sneered, feeling like he discovered another golden mine.
“I’m a merchant, brother. I can tell, whether you’re pushing good stuff or not!” With that said, Karman offered the lad another poach with even greater amount of precious minerals as before. Keyaruga opened it, accessed, and silently accepted the payment, letting the beastman take his purchase. “Say, why won’t you sell it yourself?” The vendor pondered, tapping onto the precious box.
“What do you think I’m doing? Or you’re implying I have to spend days upon days, trying to cajole the locals to purchase my wares?” Keyaruga scoffed, and glanced at Setsuna, then Freia, and later Eve. All of them finished their meals, and just sat silently, waiting the healer to finish the transaction. Getting them to sell potions seemed like a good idea… but Keyaruga would never go for it.
“True, getting folk to trust you takes a while.” Karman spoke, impressed by the man’s sense in business. Not many wonder-mongers could actually profit, unless they were actually talented crooks. “I wonder if you also know, how much time I have to resell your potions.”
“Three days.” Keyaruga eagerly replied. “Today, tomorrow, and…”
Then…
“My, oh my! Can I be your first customer?” A deep and mannered voice resonated throughout the premise. It was a well-dressed gentleman, and his gentle tone had to himself pretty well.
“Certainly, I’m always rea…” Karman was ready to trade with the customer right there, but seeing Freia, Setsuna, and Eve jumping from their chairs and getting ready to battle put a halt to his intent.
“Careful, Keyaruga!” The Hero of Magic snarled, snatching her staff right from the thin air.
“Grrrr!” Setsuna growled, summoning the icy crust on her forearms. After a swift jump she found herself standing atop of the table, cautiously avoiding stepping into the food. The huntress, no matter how swollen her belly was, prepared for battle. To protect those she loved.
“…” And even Eve summoned a small constellation of bright stars. The group prepared for battle, they attracted attention from all the guests, most of which wisely decided to leave the restaurant through the second exit, some of which didn’t even pay.
“Have you come to finish your task, Organ?” The princess snarled, rapidly pumping her new staff with magic potency. Along with her two sisters-in-arms, the caster was ready for the second encounter with Hawkeye. “If so, we…”
“You will do nothing, Freia.” This time, though, Keyaruga was there to stand against the Champion. “Setsuna, please get off the table. This one came for me, apparently.” The Hero of Healing spoke smoothly, stepping next to Eve. With a single swipe, he extinguished her spell. “Don’t. This will hurt some passerby much more than him.” The man uttered, approaching the murderous archer.
“These girls are under my protection, good sir. Should you raise your blade on them, you’ll have to pass me first.” The red-haired man calmly declared, standing between Organ Trist and the table with his allies.
The tension kept rising, underneath Hawkeye’s indifferent façade Keyaruga noted a cold-blooded focus and the ultimate will. The sword, the bow, two hidden blades in his sleeves, a tiny firearm in the right gauntlet, a set of throwing knives, tiny razors and a pair of brass knuckles. Add a fighting capabilities to stand his ground against the very god of fencing, and the fact that most, if not all, of his comedically numerous weapons were heavily poisoned, and you get a recipe for a catastrophe.
Race: Human
Name: Organ
Class: Divine Archer
Level: 34 ☆
Mana: 67/108
Physical attack: 84
Physical defense: 91
Magic attack: 32
Magic defense: 53
Speed: 133
Abilities:
Fencing: 5th level
Spearsmanship: 4th level
Archery: 7th level
Battle arts: 5th level
Throwing skills: 6th level
Healing magic: 1st circle
Skills:
Blood of Artemis: Artemis’ descendant’s exclusive skill. Improves ranged attacks capabilities
Amber eyes: Artemis’ blessing. Greatly increases the user’s speed, reaction, and visual comprehension.
Heavenly precision: Divine Archer’s exclusive skill. Greatly boosts accuracy of ranged projectiles.
Yes… That didn’t look promising.

What happened between my boyfriend’s cousin and I was a one night stand at a party before my boyfriend and I even met let alone started dating, I also didn’t even know they were cousins. Anyways, a couple of weeks ago after six months of us being together my boyfriend wanted me to meet his family, he drove us outside of the city to their town which is about an hour drive away. You know one of those days where everything is going so smoothly you know a fuck up is bound to happen? Yeah it felt like that. I met his parents and siblings then about half an hour later his aunt came in with her husband, followed by their son. I had to take one look at his face to experience a mild heart attack at the ripe age of twenty one. And then my boyfriend introduced him as his cousin, let’s call him Ryan, who I’ve been hearing all sorts of stories about, they’re as thick as thieves and basically just like brothers.
Ryan was a bit shocked but nowhere near the state of absolute mortification I was in. I literally froze. All I could think about is what my boyfriend’s incredibly nice family would think about me had they known what I actually did with not one of their sons, but two. Ryan was all cool and collective when he “introduced himself” to me as if it’s our first time ever meeting. I was a bit relieved and hoped he just forgot about me. But that was the furthest thing from the truth. Throughout dinner I was feeling seriously anxious cause all I could think about was how tf would I tell my boyfriend something like that? I knew there’s a high possibility of him never looking at me the same. I excused myself to the bathroom and in the midst of me panicking and trying to get a hold of one of my friends or sisters to ask for moral support, Ryan comes in and tells me to calm down and that we don’t have to tell my boyfriend anything about a meaningless one night stand that happened a long time ago. The idea of keeping it a “secret” sounded awful to me, but I thought what could be the harm of keeping the past in the past, and it’s not like I gave my boyfriend a list of every man I’ve slept with.
I’ve been having a guilty conscience ever since. And today in the middle of our drive up to their town to celebrate his sister’s engagement, I decide that I couldn’t handle being in the same room as Ryan and keeping what happened a secret from my boyfriend, I thought that he simply deserved to know, if I was in his shoes I would’ve wanted to. Sooo he didn’t exactly react very well, and he hasn’t said a word to me ever since we’ve arrived at his family’s house, I’m currently upstairs in his room alone, his sister came up to me and told me that him and Ryan were having a fight, I felt insanely bad and embarrassed for causing unnecessary drama but I didn’t want to meddle between them and make things worst or more awkward so I simply am still upstairs venting to Reddit about how much I fucked up.
TL;DR I admitted to my boyfriends that I slept with his cousin prior to us dating while we were driving up to his family’s home and caused a bit of unnecessary drama

I've had a really rough few months trying to figure out who I am.
In the past week especially everything came to a boiling point and it has ended with me accepting that I can not deny who I really am. I plan to start transitioning as soon as possible.
When I accepted myself LITERALLY JUST LAST NIGHT, I found myself both in a sense of euphoria and terror. But I felt like I NEEDED to tell someone. I couldn't do this alone. Today I asked my brother if I could speak with him some time. I planned for some time this weekend, but he said tonight as it seemed important. Then he moved it up because he was on his way home from work. I had it all planned out in my head but was terrified...
I went over and told him by pretty much telling a story of my issues and where this has come from. At a point I told him about how doing/wearing feminine things and being called pretty had given me the first glimpse of self love and sent me spiralling into confusion. Thoughts kept getting louder and louder and now I find myself with a new outlook on my future. I told him how much it meant to me when I've spent my whole life hating myself.
I broke down. I get the hyperventilating ugly cry so I can't even speak. It was clear that I wasn't able to speak for a minute.
He stopped me, and told me "You will always be my sibling. I will love you no matter what. I will love you as my little brother... or sister."
He knew exactly where I was headed.
After we spent a bunch of time talking, he wanted to go for dinner and asked if I wanted to call up any friends nearby. I called up my bestfriend and we went for dinner. After dinner, we dropped off my brother, so it was just me and my friend. We went on a nearly two hour ride around the city and I then told him.
We've been friends for nearly 18 years and while I trust him with my life, a part of me still tortured me out of fear. He was very happy for me. He told me that admittedly, he's very new to all of this so he will do his best to understand and support and that any mistakes are not malicious. He's told me in the past months when I came out as pan how incredibly visible the effect of me accepting myself has been, and now at the forefront of it all is this new chapter of my life. This new chapter of being me.
I feel guilty that there was even a shred of doubt in my mind of their reactions. There wasn't even the slightest negative sense in any of their response. They're both incredible.
I am planning on telling my sister as soon as I can and then wait quite some time before telling anyone else. I was just so unbelievably energized that I needed to tell someone. Telling my brother and friend about it has given me the realization that I will need a strong foundation as the road ahead is not going to be an easy one. And I know my sister will only add to that without any hesitation. I was so scared of what could've happened and what is to come. But I can't express the security I feel in the foundation of support I have in these three amazing people.

I know exactly why, some will deem it offensive to our brothers and sisters, basically I found myself angry, asking myself "Why do our brothers and sisters continually commit sin and knowingly continue despite going against our creator and still claim to be Christian or use the name of Jesus to not hold themselves accountable" it may seem silly, but in those moments idk why I was so hurt by that. Everyone has free will, yes we are already saved. We are flesh and we are not perfect.
In those moments I questioned to even call myself a Christian more, I felt guilty for being angry with our brothers/sisters as I know I commit sins too.
Im gonna study more and pray.

okay so i’m 22 and I’m pathetic. Literally. if you search that word in a dictionary my face will pop up. Idek why i’m even typing this out on reddit for you all to see, but I am. My brothers and sisters are getting there lives on a path to success just like everyone else while I struggle to do so. Dropped put of college, gave up on life. I stopped caring pretty much about everything including myself. Addicted to nicotine. Unmotivated. I’m too anxious to go get a job. just the thought of going out someplace and asking for a job gives me anxiety. I’m tired all the time, but when i try to sleep it is difficult for me to. I still think about my horrible ex. Even though I hate her. she did cheat on me… but i can’t help think about how she’s doing or how she thinks of me even though she prolly thinks i’m a low life, which is true. i just play or stream video games all day because it helps me get out of my head and it’s the only place i feel comfortable and have friends. I also am very quiet so whenever i go in public it’s hard for me to talk even to my own parents, but when i’m gaming with my friends on discord it’s not a problem for some reason. I don’t feel worthy if even trying to pick my life back up. Idk why but i feel ashamed. Ashamed of who I am. I feel like i’m being judged 24/7 and that everyone knows I’m a low life loser. I have no idea what i want to do in life and I’m scared for my future. I have $70 in my account rn and idek how i’ll be paying my car insurance this month or the next. I just don’t know what to do. i don’t feel like doing anything. I don’t even have the motivation to do anything. Lowkey wanna die but i’ll never kms. just venting to the world and i don’t even care if you guys talk trash about/to me. i’m used to it. Just feel like venting. idek what i’m doing anymore. life seems pointless.

Hey all, my sister has a 5 year old bunny running around the house, very cute little fluff ball but he's pretty much "king of the castle" in this house lol. Recently my friend's cat had 4 kittens and needed to give them up, and asked if I maybe wanted a kitty.
I've always wanted to own a cat, but now with the bunny around the house, I'm wondering if that will be a good idea. Also, my brother has a french bulldog. The bunny has the whole house to himself, and the dog only lives outside and in my brother's room. The bunny is a lot more chilled nowadays, but definitely tries his best to keep distance from the dog.
By the time I get the kitty it would be about 2 months old, so I was wondering how to bunny would react if I introduced a cat into the household. Can bunnies co-exist with cats? I think it's going to be a bit difficult to keep them separate, but if they need to be separated for a few weeks or months I would try my best to do so until the bunny opens up a little.
Any of you redditors have experience in bringing a kitten into a household with a single bunny who owns the house to himself?

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I don't know much of it so I'm probably wrong, but here's my guess.
I had a psychotic break last night. I took one hit of weed. It sent me over the edge. I was seeing things. Dragonflies encased in purple hexagons almost flipping like a rolodex, Then bees in yellow doing the same. I think the bees were in a different shape. They moved in a wave-like fashion in a non-visual way. The scene cut to a cartoonish world, zooming out and it faded into blue slightly masculine and ethereal looking faces and heads. They were peoples unconsciousness's. I watched time go forward and back and watched all these heads combine. Each one containing more and more of them. A kaleidoscope of consciousness. I thought about the collective unconscious. Naturally, I thought about the individuals that it was made up of but then pondered whether there was individuality in the collective or if it was exclusively the collective.
Upon opening my eyes I could see my brother, uncle, sister-in-law, and roommate, but I could not look at them. I laughed and doubted the seriousness of this until I tried talking about it to my roommate. He didn't understand, but neither did I. He walked past me at one point and I felt his being move past me. It scared me as he got closer and I sunk into it. I saw more of this in waves of being when I pointed at my brother in a quick, harsh, accusatory manner. It scared me, the waves I made in the world.
I stayed non-functionally high for 3 hours before I started coming down off of my one hit. I still felt high crawling into bed 8 hours later.
Today I woke up. It's hard for me to recall exactly how I was feeling because of how time was treating me in my relationship to it. I know my head hurt. I know I was nauseous. My stomach cramped badly after I stood up the first time. I felt conscious but my struggle of an attempt to recall this morning makes me question that. My mother came over and I tried to sit and gather myself as her and my sister-in-law talked. My headache got worse. I started experiencing extreme de-personalization in the moment and in memories. The past week felt benign to me, and still does. I kept getting fits of disorientation that made me lose where I was in reality. I don't know how I got here. I don't know who I am. This would come in waves and every time it happened I thought it was the last. I had ideations of going and throwing up in the bathroom or out back. I couldn't control them and they felt uncomfortably real to the point that it further disoriented me and made me question where I was and how I got there.
I was not at the mercy of myself.
While visiting with my neighbor his wife said something that caught me off guard. She said it had been 3 weeks since her hip replacement surgery. I thought it had been one. One week. After visiting with my neighbor then struggling to get down my morning coffee, I layed down until I got a text from my uncle asking for a favor dropping off a rental car. I struggled my way out of bed and somehow made a peanut butter sandwich to try to calm my stomach. I was deep into a wave of this psychosis. More dizziness. Wondering what is going on. Not even considering, much less understanding, my lack of control over self. I could suggest, but not control. I lost all concept of self. It was like I blinked and got here. My most vivid memory of this all was in the midst of a fit of de-personalization. Driving down the road I always do to leave I saw a flock of vultures. There must have been over 10 spread between the wooden fence and the road. What I didn't see was any dead or dying animal they could be eating. I couldn't put it into words when it happened but now I can understand the feeling. I felt was that I was the animal. What I felt ran contrary to the last week(just kidding, I don't know how long it's been, I have no recollection of time. ) of me wanting to die. I wanted reality. I've been smoking weed every night for who knows how long just to avoid reality and the pain of it and this experience made me want it back. And, it wasn't a bad experience. The symptoms seem to be winding down, but my relationship with time is still dismantled.