Anime kiss gif
KissAnime is dead. No, they are not coming back. No, the new "KissAnime" you found is not real.
2014.08.20 07:55 WindowlessWhiteVan KissAnime is dead. No, they are not coming back. No, the new "KissAnime" you found is not real.
KissAnime is dead. No, they aren't coming back. No, you didn't find KissAnime's "new" site; it is most likely a phishing site and you should change your passwords. A list of safe sites can be found on https://piracy.moe/
2014.08.27 04:21 Anime Gif
Post your SFW Waifu Gifs. OR Faviourte Anime Gif!
2012.03.27 01:17 Aradon Anime Gifs
For all SFW Animated Gifs that include Anime. For NSFW anime gifs, go to /nsfwanimegifs
2023.03.22 06:47 MissJulietOh Please help me find this manga!
I just remembered a manga that I read a long time ago but I cannot remember the title in Japanese or English at all. I feel like the English title is something like, "Jungle Kiss" or "Beast Love"-- I don't know.
This contains spoilers for those who haven't read it but the plot goes like this:
It's the FL's birthday and her father (who is an animal or a plant scientist, I think) returns home from his overseas trips/study. At their house, they have their own "jungle" or wild nature room where there are a lot of exotic plants and animals that the FL's dad would bring back whenever he travels. But this time, he brings back a present for the FL and it happens to be a jungle boy that he found while on his expedition to the jungle overseas where he stayed at. The ML (aka the jungle boy) is now part of the family and in one of the first scenes, he meets FL and he greets her with a lick or I guess "a kiss" because that's what his "animal" family taught him when he grew up in the jungle. Then the FL got mad and they had an argument in which ML runs away from home. FL then tries to find him but to no avail until she sees that he's on the news for climbing a pole. (I don't remember why he was up there-- either he was mad or he was trying to save another animal) FL was able to take ML back home and her mom gave ML a new haircut.
Skip~~~ Later on in the book, it turns out that ML is the long-lost son of a wealthy family and they visit the FL's home to take him back. Then it turns out that ML has a fiance or something-- the daughter of a wealthy man. And then FL starts to feel sad, but ML only has eyes for FL and not SFL. I know it was a happy ending though.
But yeah, this is what I remember about this manga... Any help would be appreciated!!
submitted by MissJulietOh to RomanceMangaAnime [link] [comments]
This contains spoilers for those who haven't read it but the plot goes like this:
It's the FL's birthday and her father (who is an animal or a plant scientist, I think) returns home from his overseas trips/study. At their house, they have their own "jungle" or wild nature room where there are a lot of exotic plants and animals that the FL's dad would bring back whenever he travels. But this time, he brings back a present for the FL and it happens to be a jungle boy that he found while on his expedition to the jungle overseas where he stayed at. The ML (aka the jungle boy) is now part of the family and in one of the first scenes, he meets FL and he greets her with a lick or I guess "a kiss" because that's what his "animal" family taught him when he grew up in the jungle. Then the FL got mad and they had an argument in which ML runs away from home. FL then tries to find him but to no avail until she sees that he's on the news for climbing a pole. (I don't remember why he was up there-- either he was mad or he was trying to save another animal) FL was able to take ML back home and her mom gave ML a new haircut.
Skip~~~ Later on in the book, it turns out that ML is the long-lost son of a wealthy family and they visit the FL's home to take him back. Then it turns out that ML has a fiance or something-- the daughter of a wealthy man. And then FL starts to feel sad, but ML only has eyes for FL and not SFL. I know it was a happy ending though.
But yeah, this is what I remember about this manga... Any help would be appreciated!!
2023.03.22 04:56 MrShad0wzz Not sure what I should do
I feel as if my entire life I have been playing catch up.
For this to make sense, I’m going to give you some detail into my upbringing.
I was raised given literally anything and everything that I wanted. This included food. Therefore at a very young age I was severely overweight and very immature.In elementary and middle school I was bullied for my weight.
However, I was diagnosed with severe depression and obsessive compulsive disorder at a young age and was in therapy for as long as I can remember. This really caused problems with relationships because I was in such a horrible state of mind that I didn’t want to try. I was in this mindset until I was about 22 years old.
What I have noticed is that because of all that, I was very behind in learning do’s and dont’s for human relationships in general. I feel as if things people usually learned to do or not to do in elementary school, I learned in middle school. Things in middle school, I learned in highschool. Things in highschool I learned in college.
At 22 years old I feel like I “finally grew up” I got a internship as a software developer, I was able to gain control of my OCD and learned to manage it as best I think I can, I lost 130 pounds to where weight isn’t a problem anymore.
The point of all of this is, I am 24M and have never had “anything” with a female. Kiss, anything intimate, relationship. You name it. but since I was playing catch up my entire life, this has left me completely inexperienced with no idea how to get a girlfriend or what to do if I even had a girlfriend. I imagine that the second a girl found out about my past they would be running for the hills because of red flags.
However, I have downloaded just about every dating app you can think of and used them for awhile but never got matches on them. Not surprised because my profiles were very bland as my only real interests are anime and football. my pictures weren’t bad but I guess compared to other guys they weren’t as good.
I feel completely hopeless because just having a relationship and to care for someone and get to know them is something I have wanted for a long time. But I’m honestly at the point of just giving up. I don’t drink alcohol and I work from home so meeting people has become next to impossible unless it was through dating apps.
Saw this subreddit and thought I’d make a post to see what girls would suggest or what guys who maybe have been in a similar situation have done. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk
submitted by MrShad0wzz to dating [link] [comments]
For this to make sense, I’m going to give you some detail into my upbringing.
I was raised given literally anything and everything that I wanted. This included food. Therefore at a very young age I was severely overweight and very immature.In elementary and middle school I was bullied for my weight.
However, I was diagnosed with severe depression and obsessive compulsive disorder at a young age and was in therapy for as long as I can remember. This really caused problems with relationships because I was in such a horrible state of mind that I didn’t want to try. I was in this mindset until I was about 22 years old.
What I have noticed is that because of all that, I was very behind in learning do’s and dont’s for human relationships in general. I feel as if things people usually learned to do or not to do in elementary school, I learned in middle school. Things in middle school, I learned in highschool. Things in highschool I learned in college.
At 22 years old I feel like I “finally grew up” I got a internship as a software developer, I was able to gain control of my OCD and learned to manage it as best I think I can, I lost 130 pounds to where weight isn’t a problem anymore.
The point of all of this is, I am 24M and have never had “anything” with a female. Kiss, anything intimate, relationship. You name it. but since I was playing catch up my entire life, this has left me completely inexperienced with no idea how to get a girlfriend or what to do if I even had a girlfriend. I imagine that the second a girl found out about my past they would be running for the hills because of red flags.
However, I have downloaded just about every dating app you can think of and used them for awhile but never got matches on them. Not surprised because my profiles were very bland as my only real interests are anime and football. my pictures weren’t bad but I guess compared to other guys they weren’t as good.
I feel completely hopeless because just having a relationship and to care for someone and get to know them is something I have wanted for a long time. But I’m honestly at the point of just giving up. I don’t drink alcohol and I work from home so meeting people has become next to impossible unless it was through dating apps.
Saw this subreddit and thought I’d make a post to see what girls would suggest or what guys who maybe have been in a similar situation have done. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk
2023.03.22 04:26 AmericanMeat I don't understand Howl's Moving Castle [SPOILER]
I watched Howls Moving Castle for the first time last night. I was floored by the animation and score, and I felt the same childlike sense of wonder I felt watching My Neighbor Totoro and Spirited Away. After the movie ended, however, I felt confused and like I did not understand all of the themes presented. I did some research after I watched it to try to understand, and some of the interpretations were the exact opposite of my own. I am looking for some clarity and to hear others' perspectives. I saw that Miyazaki said this is his favorite Ghibli movie, and I feel like I would appreciate it more if I understood it more.
I will list my questions and provide some brief context as to why I found these parts of the movie confusing.
1) Why did Howl defend the soldiers who were harassing Sophie?
The first thing that confused me was what Howl said after he rescues Sophie from the soldiers she encounters on the way to see her sister. The soldiers are significantly larger than Sophie and hit on her very forwardly. They call her "mouse", going on to say she is "cute for a mouse", and making various flirtatious advances, all of which Sophie rejects. At one point Sophie defiantly says "leave me alone", firmly rejecting the soldiers sexual advances. One of the soldiers says "I think she is even cuter when she's scared". Howl then appears and a soldier angerly says "We are busy here". Howl uses magic to send the soldiers away. As he is walking with Sophie he says "Don't hold that against them, they are actually not that bad". This really caught me off guard, and I still don't understand it. The only way I can think to interpret this is two men in positions of power make several sexual advances on a woman. The woman expresses multiple times her lack of interest. Instead of respecting the wishes of the woman by stopping to hit her, they continue to do so and get more aggressive (i.e "I think she is even cuter when she’s scared"). Then another man comes in to save the woman and dismisses the creepy and aggressive behavior of the men by saying "they are actually not that bad". To me, this is the exact opposite of what should happen in a movie promoting feminist ideals, which was a common theme I saw in my research after the movie.
2) Why did Sophie not tell Howl that she was cursed?
I know that part of the curse is she cannot talk about the curse, but she can do things that definitely make it clear that she is cursed. She is able to convey all the key pieces of information to the fire demon when she enters the castle. So much so that the fire demon understands she is cursed and works out a deal with her to free them from their respective curses. Howl is a powerful wizard after all. If someone is able to break the curse, I would imagine he would be a good place to start. On top that, I thought it was weird that she shows up, says she hired herself as a cleaning lady, and Howl is like “Cool, no further questions”.
3) Why did Howl and Sophie take in the Witch of the Waste?
This really surprised me, and I still don’t understand why they did this. The Witch seemed extremally toxic, and I am not sure that taking her in is the best message to give people. As I remember it, the Witch of the Waste and Howl were formerly together romantically. Howl broke things off, seemingly in a hurtful and unkind way. The Witch never got over him and seems to be pursuing him to rekindle their connection, which Howl does not want. The Witch sees Howl and Sophie together, perceives Sophie as a threat by being a new romantic prospect for Howl, and curses her by turning her into an old woman. From what I can gather online, the movie has a theme of showing compassion for everyone. I understand this, and I understood it when Sophie tried to help the Witch up the stairs on her way to meet the king. I can even understand bringing her along on their escape from the queen. What I don’t understand is taking her in after she lost her powers.
I understand forgiving your enemies, but caring for a toxic person is not the same thing. Toxic people hurt people, especially those close to them, and there is nothing you can do to change that. Being mean to a toxic person won’t make them less toxic, and being nice to a toxic person won’t make them less toxic. You cannot make a toxic person less toxic. The only way people like that will be less toxic is if they want to work on themselves and are willing to put the work in. In other words, they have to be want to change. The Witch makes no indication that she wants to or is able to change upon the castle crew taking her in.
Frankly, the whole time they have her she is a huge liability. She almost kills the fire demon by feeding it the “peeping bug” the queen sends them that makes him sick and almost burn out. She refuses to stop smoking when Sophie asks her to (she does when Howl asks her to). She also almost kills everyone by taking Howls heart out of Cal (because she wants it for herself) while he is running the castle remains causing it to fall apart on a mountain ridge, sending Sophie tumbling down a cliff. To me this begs the question: Why take her in in the first place?
4) The ending – specifically the prince and the idea of “true love”.
Finally, the last thing I was confused about was the part of the ending involving the prince from the neighboring kingdom and true love. After Turnip Head saves everyone from falling down the mountain, Sophie kisses him. This breaks his curse and causes him to change back into the prince. The Witch explains that true loves kiss breaks the curse, and says to the prince that it looks like his true love is in love with someone else (Howl). The prince says that hearts can change and that he will be back someday. The Witch says “I am looking forward to your return big boy ;)”.
So does this mean Sophie is love with two people at once, or that the Prince is in love with Sophie? When the prince says hearts can change and that he will be back, is he basically saying that he will wait for Howl and Sophie to break up? Or is he saying that his heart will change and he will fall in love with someone else, like the witch?
As much as I enjoyed elements of this movie, I have to say my confusion has negatively impacted my perception of the movie overall. Like I said above, Miyazaki said that this is his favorite movie. I love him as a director, and I would love to understand this movie more. Thank you all for reading this, and I hope we get more great Ghibli movies in the future :)
submitted by AmericanMeat to ghibli [link] [comments]
I will list my questions and provide some brief context as to why I found these parts of the movie confusing.
1) Why did Howl defend the soldiers who were harassing Sophie?
The first thing that confused me was what Howl said after he rescues Sophie from the soldiers she encounters on the way to see her sister. The soldiers are significantly larger than Sophie and hit on her very forwardly. They call her "mouse", going on to say she is "cute for a mouse", and making various flirtatious advances, all of which Sophie rejects. At one point Sophie defiantly says "leave me alone", firmly rejecting the soldiers sexual advances. One of the soldiers says "I think she is even cuter when she's scared". Howl then appears and a soldier angerly says "We are busy here". Howl uses magic to send the soldiers away. As he is walking with Sophie he says "Don't hold that against them, they are actually not that bad". This really caught me off guard, and I still don't understand it. The only way I can think to interpret this is two men in positions of power make several sexual advances on a woman. The woman expresses multiple times her lack of interest. Instead of respecting the wishes of the woman by stopping to hit her, they continue to do so and get more aggressive (i.e "I think she is even cuter when she’s scared"). Then another man comes in to save the woman and dismisses the creepy and aggressive behavior of the men by saying "they are actually not that bad". To me, this is the exact opposite of what should happen in a movie promoting feminist ideals, which was a common theme I saw in my research after the movie.
2) Why did Sophie not tell Howl that she was cursed?
I know that part of the curse is she cannot talk about the curse, but she can do things that definitely make it clear that she is cursed. She is able to convey all the key pieces of information to the fire demon when she enters the castle. So much so that the fire demon understands she is cursed and works out a deal with her to free them from their respective curses. Howl is a powerful wizard after all. If someone is able to break the curse, I would imagine he would be a good place to start. On top that, I thought it was weird that she shows up, says she hired herself as a cleaning lady, and Howl is like “Cool, no further questions”.
3) Why did Howl and Sophie take in the Witch of the Waste?
This really surprised me, and I still don’t understand why they did this. The Witch seemed extremally toxic, and I am not sure that taking her in is the best message to give people. As I remember it, the Witch of the Waste and Howl were formerly together romantically. Howl broke things off, seemingly in a hurtful and unkind way. The Witch never got over him and seems to be pursuing him to rekindle their connection, which Howl does not want. The Witch sees Howl and Sophie together, perceives Sophie as a threat by being a new romantic prospect for Howl, and curses her by turning her into an old woman. From what I can gather online, the movie has a theme of showing compassion for everyone. I understand this, and I understood it when Sophie tried to help the Witch up the stairs on her way to meet the king. I can even understand bringing her along on their escape from the queen. What I don’t understand is taking her in after she lost her powers.
I understand forgiving your enemies, but caring for a toxic person is not the same thing. Toxic people hurt people, especially those close to them, and there is nothing you can do to change that. Being mean to a toxic person won’t make them less toxic, and being nice to a toxic person won’t make them less toxic. You cannot make a toxic person less toxic. The only way people like that will be less toxic is if they want to work on themselves and are willing to put the work in. In other words, they have to be want to change. The Witch makes no indication that she wants to or is able to change upon the castle crew taking her in.
Frankly, the whole time they have her she is a huge liability. She almost kills the fire demon by feeding it the “peeping bug” the queen sends them that makes him sick and almost burn out. She refuses to stop smoking when Sophie asks her to (she does when Howl asks her to). She also almost kills everyone by taking Howls heart out of Cal (because she wants it for herself) while he is running the castle remains causing it to fall apart on a mountain ridge, sending Sophie tumbling down a cliff. To me this begs the question: Why take her in in the first place?
4) The ending – specifically the prince and the idea of “true love”.
Finally, the last thing I was confused about was the part of the ending involving the prince from the neighboring kingdom and true love. After Turnip Head saves everyone from falling down the mountain, Sophie kisses him. This breaks his curse and causes him to change back into the prince. The Witch explains that true loves kiss breaks the curse, and says to the prince that it looks like his true love is in love with someone else (Howl). The prince says that hearts can change and that he will be back someday. The Witch says “I am looking forward to your return big boy ;)”.
So does this mean Sophie is love with two people at once, or that the Prince is in love with Sophie? When the prince says hearts can change and that he will be back, is he basically saying that he will wait for Howl and Sophie to break up? Or is he saying that his heart will change and he will fall in love with someone else, like the witch?
As much as I enjoyed elements of this movie, I have to say my confusion has negatively impacted my perception of the movie overall. Like I said above, Miyazaki said that this is his favorite movie. I love him as a director, and I would love to understand this movie more. Thank you all for reading this, and I hope we get more great Ghibli movies in the future :)
2023.03.22 03:13 capricorncat3 What.
 | submitted by capricorncat3 to daveandbambi [link] [comments] |
2023.03.22 02:18 magiciansocks Romance anime recommendations?
Recent anime that I loved: Kaguya-sama love is war, Romantic Killer, Fruits Basket, I want to eat your pancreas, Horimiya, Kamisama Kiss
Violet Evergarden was beautiful(not really romantic but sad), Toradora was alright.
I couldn’t get into Yona of the Dawn, Blue Spring Ride, Hyouka, Spice and Wolf.
I guess I like sad stuff or comedy. Thank you for the help!
submitted by magiciansocks to AnimeReccomendations [link] [comments]
Violet Evergarden was beautiful(not really romantic but sad), Toradora was alright.
I couldn’t get into Yona of the Dawn, Blue Spring Ride, Hyouka, Spice and Wolf.
I guess I like sad stuff or comedy. Thank you for the help!
2023.03.22 02:15 blegoo94 28 [M4F] St. Louis, MO - Hi. I have Asperger's and I'm interested in finding a relationship.
Hey there! My name is Ryan and I'm from St. Louis, Missouri. I'm looking for a long term relationship; the "until death do us part" kind of relationship. I am 100% monogamous and I don't want that to ever change. I know physical attractiveness is important, so here is a picture of me. I'm 6'0", bearded, bald, and with a smile to light up your day!
So you're probably mostly interested in my title. I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome when I was 20 years old.
My biggest symptom is that my ability to socialize is pretty shit. I'm just a pretty quiet person.
Most people would not guess that I have Asperger's because for one I am already very high functioning in comparison to most people with it. Second, I have been masking my traits for so long by not talking a lot that being 'the quiet guy' has just become natural to me.
Whenever I do talk, it's like everything goes through a subconscious filter in my head and I do a pretty good job at seeming neurotypical because of it.
If you're wondering if being in a relationship with me means that you have to be some kind of caretaker, you won't. I am 100% independent. I currently live alone half way across the US from family, work full time as a lead, pay my own bills, drive my own car, have my own hobbies, etc..
If you're also wondering if I would be communicative in a relationship, the answer is very much yes.
I've never been in a serious relationship before. The closest thing I have been in is a LDR and had a couple FWBs. I suck at talking to people. Woman or not lol. I was recently hit on at a club (I don't normally go to clubs. It was with an engagement party.), and I didn't realize it until she left. Stuff like this happens at my work too sometimes. Point is to further show that I am socially inept.
I've been typically described as kind, smart, gentle, sweet, caring, compromising, affectionate, clingy (in a healthy way), and loyal. I've taken the love language test before and I found that I love physical touch and quality time spent together. Sex, cuddling, kissing, and hand holding while spending plenty of time together will make me the happiest boyfriend in the world!
Some indoor hobbies I enjoy are PC gaming, programming, listening to music, watching movies/shows/anime. And some outdoor hobbies/activities I enjoy (especially with someone else) are going for walks, working on some kind of DIY project, going out to eat, and going to the park. Honestly I just spend most of my free time coding. I'd like to say I'm too mature for memes but then I end up seeing them every day on reddit.
Some qualities I value would be a good emotional intelligence, the time and ability to put effort into getting to know me, and just being a genuinely kind person. I've found that I can get along very well with extroverted people because they can counteract my quiet nature easily, or introverted people that have similar hobbies.
Other about-me stuff you may find important: I am politically liberal, atheist, and super non judgmental.
submitted by blegoo94 to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]
So you're probably mostly interested in my title. I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome when I was 20 years old.
My biggest symptom is that my ability to socialize is pretty shit. I'm just a pretty quiet person.
Most people would not guess that I have Asperger's because for one I am already very high functioning in comparison to most people with it. Second, I have been masking my traits for so long by not talking a lot that being 'the quiet guy' has just become natural to me.
Whenever I do talk, it's like everything goes through a subconscious filter in my head and I do a pretty good job at seeming neurotypical because of it.
If you're wondering if being in a relationship with me means that you have to be some kind of caretaker, you won't. I am 100% independent. I currently live alone half way across the US from family, work full time as a lead, pay my own bills, drive my own car, have my own hobbies, etc..
If you're also wondering if I would be communicative in a relationship, the answer is very much yes.
I've never been in a serious relationship before. The closest thing I have been in is a LDR and had a couple FWBs. I suck at talking to people. Woman or not lol. I was recently hit on at a club (I don't normally go to clubs. It was with an engagement party.), and I didn't realize it until she left. Stuff like this happens at my work too sometimes. Point is to further show that I am socially inept.
I've been typically described as kind, smart, gentle, sweet, caring, compromising, affectionate, clingy (in a healthy way), and loyal. I've taken the love language test before and I found that I love physical touch and quality time spent together. Sex, cuddling, kissing, and hand holding while spending plenty of time together will make me the happiest boyfriend in the world!
Some indoor hobbies I enjoy are PC gaming, programming, listening to music, watching movies/shows/anime. And some outdoor hobbies/activities I enjoy (especially with someone else) are going for walks, working on some kind of DIY project, going out to eat, and going to the park. Honestly I just spend most of my free time coding. I'd like to say I'm too mature for memes but then I end up seeing them every day on reddit.
Some qualities I value would be a good emotional intelligence, the time and ability to put effort into getting to know me, and just being a genuinely kind person. I've found that I can get along very well with extroverted people because they can counteract my quiet nature easily, or introverted people that have similar hobbies.
Other about-me stuff you may find important: I am politically liberal, atheist, and super non judgmental.
2023.03.22 01:41 NoNHentaiSauce Unable to get past this screen on filecr? I've turned off my adblocker and everything.
submitted by NoNHentaiSauce to Piracy [link] [comments]
2023.03.22 01:41 Trash_Tia Every October 1st, the eighteen year old's in my town go crazy for one night. We call it The Teen Purge. (Part 3. Ending.)
I'm writing this from the ruins of our old diner. This will be my last post.
When the bus came to an abrupt stop suddenly, I pressed my head against the window and peered out, hyper alert of my surroundings.
I was seeing a large glass building which reminded me of a school, or maybe a hospital. It looked far more modern than anything in Littlewood. It hit me that this was the Halfway House we had been promised solace ever since we were kids. I vaguely remembered our class being told about the curse and quickly following that up with, “But we’ll keep you safe. Like we do every year, we send our seniors to a place of healing to prepare them for the outside world after going through such trauma where they can mend and reignite themselves."
Ironic wording, considering what really happened to us.
In actuality, I knew exactly what it was. The whispering in my head had revealed the Halfway House’s true meaning. Inside that building we were going to burn. We were going to fucking burn and nobody was coming to save us. Not our parents or the town. Leaning back in my chair, my gaze flicked to the front where two armed guards were beginning to escort my classmates off of the bus. I had already made my decision when I grabbed Jun’s sleeve and yanked him under the seat in front of us. He let out a sharp gasp, almost a sound of protest. “Bee, what are you doing? Get off--"
Slamming my hand over his mouth, I pressed myself into a ball, pulling him further under the seat. The thud, thud, thud, of the guards' boots sent slithers of fear creeping up and down my spine. They passed us. I could hear their breaths, their muttering to each other.
The guards already knew our game. I sensed them checking under each seat—which motivated me to shuffle myself further under until I couldn’t breathe. Jun didn’t move, his breaths sharp and heavy into the flesh of my palm. After a moment which seemed to go on forever, thudding boots retreated back towards the front of the bus. I squeezed my eyes shut when the engines started up once again. Gripping Jun for dear life, I settled on taking deep breaths. We were going to get out, I thought. We were going to escape.
“Can you get off of me?" Jun tried to squirm from my grip, but I tightened my hold on him.
“Shh.” I said under my breath. “Don’t make a sound, okay?”
"Why? We're going to the Halfway house!"
I bit back a yell, stopping him from crawling away from me. "There is no halfway house."
Once the bus started to move, keeping a firm grip on Jun’s sleeve, I pulled us from our hiding place and lifted my head, scanning for somewhere better. The back was our best bet. When I started towards it, dragging Jun with me, however, I spotted two familiar faces already in hiding. Jonas and Mira. Jun let out a low grumble, and part of me couldn't believe he was still salty about Jonas in this situation.
Without speaking, we joined them, with Jonas shuffling back so I could join him, pulling a reluctant Jun with me. It was an uncomfortable squeeze but we were safe. I allowed myself to breathe when the bus fell into a steady drive. But I didn’t have time to relax. I was considering asking Jonas in low whispers why he had chosen to hide, when once again the bus came to a jolting stop. “Forty six?” The bus driver all but thundered from the front. “What are you talking about? Fifty were loaded onto the bus. I fucking counted them!"
Shit. Shooting the other’s a panicked look, I weighed our options. Four against one.
We could easily get past him.
“No. No, we did a sweep of the bus!" His voice was growing panicked. "There’s nobody on here."
Jonas twisted around, shooting me a questioning look.
What the fuck is wrong with him? He mouthed.
I pressed my index over my lips in response.
Jun let out a frustrated hiss, and I instantly knew what he was going to do. Before he could, however, I was slamming my hand over his mouth once again, this time with Jonas' help, cutting off his strangled, "We're over–"
Jonas shoved us further under, dragging a struggling Jun. "Do you want us to get caught!?" He exploded in a hiss of breath.
Jun only muffled into my hand, and I half wondered if knocking him out would benefit us. The bus driver’s voice was eerily shaky. I could hear every tremble in his tone. “Check? Yes! Uh, yes, I’ll check now. Don’t worry, alright? There’s no more kids on this bus. They must have ran away."
When the driver started down the aisle in a bumbling stumble, ducking under each seat, I attempted to hide. I mean there was nowhere to hide, though I at least tried to shove myself uncomfortably further under the damn seat until we were squashed like sardines. “Hey!”
The driver’s steps quickened towards us and I felt my body catapult into fight or flight.
“What are you kids still doing here?” When I lifted my head to meet his eyes, I expected anger. There was no anger, however. I was seeing frustration and fear, trickles of pain blooming in wide cartoon-like eyes. The guy was keeping his distance from us, I noticed.
Like we were teeming with the plague. It was a curse, not a contagious virus.
"What do we do?" Jonas murmured.
"We stay here."
"But he's looking directly at us." He said in a sing-song voice. "I don't think he's blind."
Before I could stop him, Jonas was awkwardly dislodging himself from the gap underneath the seats. He jumped to his feet and raised his arms in mocking surrender. His smile was bright, but there was an underlying darkness in his eyes, and I had no doubt he wouldn’t resort to violence. “Yeah, okay, you got us. We were just hitchhiking back to town. I’m not a fan of the whole half-way house thing,” he said. “I’d rather just ride back into town and go and see my pops.” His lip curled. “I want to see if he’s okay. You know, after last night. I'm sure you know I'm a little on edge."
“No.” The driver’s eyes filled with tears. “No…” he shook his head rapidly, his arms trembling at his sides. “You're not going anywhere. You.. you're staying right there."
"What, so I get possessed by the dead souls of my ancestors and now I don't have basic human rights?" Jonas rolled his eyes with a scoff. "You're legally inclined to let me go. I don't want to go to some weird halfway house and pretend I didn't gut my best friend's mother, alright? I'm going home, asshole."
The driver didn't move. "I'm telling you to… to stay back." He moaned. "Please. I have a wife. I have a wife and two children, and I just got promoted! I don't need this shit!"
Jonas' eyes darkened. "What did you say?"
"Jonas…" Jun hissed out.
"No, no, I'm curious to know what the fuck this guy's problem is," The boy spat. "I woke up tangled in my neighbors guts, and this guy…" He started to laugh, a hysterical giggle collapsing into a sob. "This guy thinks his job is more important?"
"You're a disease." The man said in a whisper. "You shouldn't… exist." His gaze flicked to me. "All of you. You're a disease."
A look of hurt sparked in the boy's eyes, and his lip curled. “The curse is over, Jackass! I'm not going to kill you!" Jonas cocked his head, his expression crumpling with confusion when the guy started sobbing. "Are you…crying? Jeez, what did I say, huh? I'm not going to kill you! We just want to go home, alright? Look! I'm holding up my hands. Just take us home."
Just as promised, Jonas held up his hands.
I chose to stand at that point. Jun followed hesitantly, Mira following, staying behind Jonas. The driver stiffened, backing away.
“I said stay back!" He hissed out. “Do you hear me?” His shaky hand went into his jacket, his eyes squeezing shut like he was expecting something. Pulling out a phone, the man's fingers nervously tapped the screen. He didn't take his eyes off us. “I’m taking you kids back to the Halfway House, alright?"
He nodded at us like we would agree if he looked as pathetic as possible. And he did. The guy looked like he was ready to drop to his knees and beg. “Just… stay there.”
I caught the exact moment he dropped the notion of an authority figure. His lips twisted when Jonas ignored his instructions and took a casual step towards him. If this guy had a gun, I knew he would use it. Instead, he stumbled back with a cry. “Don’t fucking move! I mean it!”
Jonas' lip curved. He raised a brow. “Like this?” Another step.
This time, the man let out a shriek.
“Jonas.” Jun said. “Dude, stop. You're scaring him."
"Scaring him? What's to be scared of?" He laughed. "The night's over, and this guy still thinks a bunch of kids are going to gut him."
"I don't know," Jun whispered, "but don't get too close, okay? He looks freaked."
“Why?” Jonas twisted around to look at him. “This guy’s got fucking problems. Didn't I tell him we weren't a threat?"
I caught a glimmer of that maniacal glitter left over from overnight. “Let me guess,” Jonas laughed. “Do you see dead people?” In three strides, he was face to face with the guy. Nose to nose. Still smiling. The driver was petrified to the spot, like Jonas was inhuman. His eyes were wide, lips moving, but he wasn't speaking. "You look like you're about to poop yourself over a bunch of teenagers, my guy. Kind of pathetic, dontcha think?"
"I…" The man's bottom lip trembled. His breaths were heavy, his mouth twisting and turning and trying to speak. I would have felt sorry for him, if it wasn't for him being responsible for bringing my class to the slaughter. He couldn't even get words out, wide eyes pinpointed on Jonas and Jun like they were ghosts. Something was building in my head, a pressure harsh enough to make my nose bleed.
I found myself staring out of the window. I had initially caught the movement of a lamppost swaying back and forth. But there was no wind. When I squinted, I noticed more things which didn't make sense; a patch of flowers which had been planted outside the Halfway House were… drooping. No, not just drooping. They were blackening, rotting away into their soil, petals being whisked into the air and coming apart.
It was 10:30 in the morning, and the sky was darkening.
Jun started forwards and grabbed Jonas’s wrist, and with the two of them so close, the man let out a childish whine which only confused Jonas further. Outside, a tree I was so sure had been standing tall and proud, crashed onto the ground suddenly, the force of the impact rattling the bus. I fought to hold on. The pressure was building in my brain, and suddenly I couldn’t… I couldn’t breathe. “Hey!” Jonas yelled in the driver's frozen face. “What did I say, huh? The curse is over! You don’t have to be scared of us anymore, alright? Just… take us home–"
Bubble-gum.
It sounded like bursting bubble-gum.
I didn’t hear the latter half of what he’d said because the bus windows were suddenly bright red, dripping red. The floor was red, the seats, and the ceiling. Jonas was red, and I could feel splatters of it on my cheeks and speckled on my chin. The others had gotten the worst of it, but it was still painting me. The red was warm and wet, like I had bathed in it. It was at my feet, pooling and spilling and spattering every colour from existence. I felt like I was back in on the school corridor being suffocated by a wet rag pressed over my mouth, horrifying images projecting into my hand from the fumes. But these weren't delusions. This was real. It was happening.
There was a dizzying moment when I thought it was raining blood before my brain found reality and I blinked at the spot where the driver had stood in front of us—and it began to dawn on me. I hadn’t been looking at the man when he popped out of existence. I was watching the leaves on the trees outside start to brown and then blacken into nothing. Like there was an invisible force decaying everything in its path. Jonas, who looked like he was starring in Cannibal Holocaust, twisted around to face me with wide, almost unseeing eyes. He looked like he might say something before the bus shook, and I forced myself to move, to find the window.
Outside, the ground had started to crack apart, zigzagging raptures spreading like fire across the sidewalk. Jun grabbed my arm and pulled me off the bus, Jonas diving off first, Mira on his heel. The world was crumbling around us, I realised. I could see it in flocks of birds flying across the sky in a panic. When we found solid ground, Jonas started hyperventilating. I was half listening to him mutter obscenities to himself, eyeing the growing sinkhole eating up everything in front of us. A woman jumped into her car and attempted to drive straight ahead before another tree collapsed, crushing her. “This is the curse.” Jonas said shakily. “It’s got to be, right? But why would they still be mad?"
The four of us teetered on a safe piece of sidewalk.
Mira wasn’t speaking. I think she was frozen. Traumatised. I could barely see her through the red.
“Nope.” Jun murmured. He swiped blood from his eyes with his sleeve. “It’s because we’re refusing to save the world.”
“What?” Jonas spluttered.
The ground started to split in front of me and I staggered back, my stomach galloping into my throat.
“He’s brainwashed.” I found myself gritting out. “Jun’s convinced we’re saving the world.”
“Like… like The Avengers?” Jonas grabbed his arm with a laugh. “Dude, did you hit your head?”
“No.”
“Then what are you talking about?”
“Didn’t I make it clear I didn’t want to talk to you?”
“Well, you might as well! Since the fuckin’ world is ending!” He paused. "If this about me and Wendy--"
Jun laughed. "You're telling me this now?!"
“Stop.” Mira cut in, her cry breaking into a sob. “Just shut up. Shut up! I can't think!"
Their back and forth was barely a whisper in the back of my mind while I watched chaos unfold in front of me. Have you ever heard a human being explode?
It kind of sounds like bubble gum bursting.
I glimpsed a running man hand in hand with a little kid before both of them went “Poof!” against the store window, painting it in a whole new colour.
Like a domino effect, the town's people started rupturing like the ground beneath us. I was staring at an old woman struggling to hobble through a panicking crowd when the mayor announced himself via megaphone across a particularly large crack in splintered concrete. Armed guards surrounded him and I wondered if whatever this was would spare him. “Stay exactly where you are!”
“Do you understand me? Do not move!”
When they risked coming closer, part of me revelled in seeing fear prickle in their eyes. Behind the mayor, was our principal. His face beet red. The guy was seething. “Can you kids understand what you have done?”
Uh, yeah.
I think we had accidentally caused the death of Littlewood.
I didn’t say that, though. I wanted answers and Jun and Jonas seemed in their own world, watching our town crumble around us. “The curse.” I said shakily when they were close enough to hear us. The bookshop I’d frequented my whole life started to crumble behind me, windows splintering with the force of the quake. But It barely fazed me. Neither did the little girl screaming for her exploding mother showering her in scarlet. “Who really started it?”
The mayor dropped his megaphone. “If I tell you, will you hand yourselves over?”
Even his voice was shaking.
I nodded. “Of course.”
"What?!" Jonas shot me a look.
"She's not being serious, idiot," Jun muttered to him. "She's stalling."
The mayor's lips twisted. “No fighting? No more questions?”
“Sure.” I said, gesturing to the world around us. “You should hurry up though. Unless you want to turn into brain soup.”
If the phenomenon happening around us wanted to take the three of us, we would already be dead. It wasn’t targeting us, however. It was killing everyone except us.
Which spoke volumes.
“Uh, no,” Jonas hissed, tugging on my sleeve. “We should run. Like, right fucking now. I don't care what you want to say, okay? I don't want to be part of this!"
“Let him explain.” I said.
“Bee, are you serious?” Mira's eyes were wide, cartoon like.
“Very.” I told her, before directing my words at the mayor. “I want to know why you made Noah Sharpe kill my mother eleven years ago. And I don't want bullshit."
A woman who was mid run across the ruins of the sidewalk blossomed into a cloud of red, and I only just glimpsed what was left of her bag landing onto the ground with a comical splat. The mayor looked like he might argue or even attempt to capture us right there and then. But he didn’t give the order. Instead, he pasted on a strict smile. “Two hundred years ago in the year 1799, the elders of this town made a grave mistake which they knew they would regret for the coming years, dooming their children, and their ancestors to eternal misery” He cleared his throat, suddenly looking uncomfortable. “Littlewood was on the brink of collapse. Women were unfortunately barren and unable to bear children, and nothing they tried would work. They tried everything, Bee. Everything which would work and wouldn't - - old wives tales, and whispers in the wind carrying word of mouth. The town had no other option and were forced to make a terrible choice. Our elders prayed to an entity and asked for good luck and prosperity to help us through trying times, and for their women to no longer be barren."
“Prayed?” Jun frowned. “Like… to a God?”
“You could say that.” The mayor smiled proudly.
"No, you said… you said there was a fire," Jonas whispered. He was already in denial. "That's what you told us! You told us there was a fire which killed a bunch of kids…and we’re punished because you didn’t help them. Because you let them burn."
The mayor was doing a good job of skirting around actual conversation.
He nodded gravely. “That was the story we told you, yes. It was built on the bones of the truth. However, the reality of what really happened would cause panic. The truth is our ancestors sacrificed fifty teenagers in the year 1799. They were a gift to this entity in control of our beloved town. As you already know, human sacrifice was practised in those days. Some say it was normal. Human blood and life force was seen as the greatest gift Littlewood's bearers could accept— as well as the soul from an elder, or an authority of the town. But of course we couldn't do that. In the simplest of terms, our elders were.. more important. ” He folded his arms. “However, what they did not know is that those sacrifices were… impure. They had engaged in certain activities which would be deemed… unsanitary, or maybe that's not the word for it. They, ahh.. I'm not sure how to–"
“They fucked.” Jonas cut him off with an eye-roll.
The mayor’s gaze found the ground.
“Indeed.” He said. “Angered, the entity demanded more than the town could give it, and when town’s people started to notice rotting food and animals disappearing, rumours of a beast lurking in the trees beginning to circulate, they struck a deal. Every year following, the eighteen year olds, with fifty being the minimum, would be sacrificed as our punishment.”
“Burned.” I corrected in a scoff.
The man found my gaze. “In those times, yes. Burned at the stake. However, throughout the years we have found a far more humane way to complete the ritual.”
Yeah. Incineration.
“I’m not a virgin.” Jonas said dryly.
“That doesn’t matter.” The mayor said. “Whether you are or not, fifty sacrifices were demanded to make up for the towns sins. If the debt wasn’t paid, however, the entity threatened a wrath greater than hell on earth to strike our town and then the world.” This time he lifted his gaze and looked me directly in the eye like I was supposed to feel guilty. “What we call The Teen Purge would be child’s play in comparison to what they have planned for us,” he continued. “If the correct number of sacrifices are not made, Littlewood will fall, which will cause a domino effect. Destruction will spread to neighbouring towns and then cities, followed by countries across the world, killing billions of people.” The mayor gestured around us as spattered red. “As you can see, we are already seeing the start of it.”
“So… two hundred years ago, you idiots prayed to an inhuman entity and actually expected them to give you what you wanted?” Mira whispered.
Then she laughed to my surprise. “You killed fifty kids because a faceless presence told you to?”
“Like I said, Mira,” The mayor’s tone grew cold. “Human sacrifice was considered normal in those days. I’m not saying what our ancestors did was right, but they were starving. Their women could not bear children.”
“What does that have to do with turning us into psychopaths?” I found myself asking, my voice was trembling. “Why did Noah kill my mom?”
This time, the man wore the slightest of smiles. “Do you really think parents would agree to us murdering their children if we didn’t make them fear them? If we didn’t plant the idea in their head that it was their twisted child’s life or innocent towns people? Your parents were as in the dark as you. In their eyes, you were cursed. Killers. You had to be taken away.”
“You’re kidding.” Jonas looked frantic, his eyes darting around, searching for an escape, “Do you seriously think I’ll die for a town which has ostracized us since were five years old? Who made us think we were fucking monsters?”
“Mr Lockhart, the sole reason why this town is crumbling around us is because you are still breathing.” The Mayor told him. “Right now, forty six seniors have been… gifted as part of our yearly ritual. That is not enough to stop them from destroying us. We need exactly fifty sacrifices.”
“Well, good luck finding them.” Jonas said in a choked laugh. “I’m sorry, but no. If you think I’m going to willingly sacrifice myself, you’re deluded!”
“Jonas.” The principle at least tried to be sympathetic. “I know you don’t want to do this, but which would you prefer? A world which is no longer recognisable, one which you wouldn’t be able to survive anyway, or a peaceful euthanasian? Your father is still alive. You will be saving him.”
“I don’t care!” He sputtered. “You think I give a fuck about anyone in this town? You’re an elder,” He accused. “Why not give yourself to them, huh?”
“That’s…” The Mayor looked taken aback for a moment. “Mr Lockhart, that is incredibly disrespectful.”
"So is murdeding our entire senior class! " He gasped out, his body trembling. Jonas backed away, grabbing Jun’s hand, and then mine. I held on, but Jun wrenched away from his grasp, his eyes far too empty for me to bear.
“The girl who told me she had a siren in her head,” He said softly. “She said I was going to save billions of lives, and this is what she meant.”
Jonas let out a sound of distain, and Mira laughed again. Her laughter was hysterical.
There was a content smile on Jun’s face and I realised with a pang in my chest, that I preferred it to the agony twisting his expression when I’d found him. I wanted him to be happy, to be at peace. But not like this. I wanted to run away with him, with Jonas and Mira, even if this twisted fate demanded otherwise. Jun strode over to the guards, with two out of four spontaneously combusting in their helmets before the remainder grabbed and restrained him. For a moment, Jonas looked like he might join him. I saw it in his expression, in his eyes filling with tears.
He took a shaky step forward like he would abandon self-preservation for a boy he had confusing feelings for, a boy who was locked into a fantasy nobody could pull him out of. Before he turned on his heel and ran. I watched him go, concrete splintering under his every clumsy step, as he pushed himself into a sprint. I respected that Jonas had chosen himself over the town. His own life over 7 billion people. He didn’t owe Littlewood anything.
“Mr Lockhart!” The mayor yelled, a look of panic twisting his expression.
“Go after him! We need fifty sacrifices!”
The guards hesitated.
They were scared to get near any of us.
“Go!”
After hesitating, they were stumbling after him, but Jonas was already out of sight.
He nodded to the remaining guards holding Jun. “Take him to the halfway house. They’re waiting for him."
At his words, I found myself backing away, and an almost childlike look of pain crossed his face. “Bee.” The mayor stamped the ground like a child, like he was having a tantrum. “Did you not hear him?” He shook Jun like a doll, his smile widening into a grin. “You’re going to save the world!”
No.
I laughed at him. In his fucking face.
He had to be kidding!
He’d taken away my mom, and Noah— now Jun. My entire fucking class.
To make up for a mistake THEY had made. We were being punished for what they had done.
For 200 years, we had suffered.
Because of them.
And he expected me to give myself up?
One look at Jun told me he would never follow me. He had already made his choice.
Still though, I smiled at him.
And he smiled back.
Not a Wonderland Smile, a real smile.
“You’re insane.” I found myself spluttering. “You actually want to die.”
Jun rolled his eyes. “Die?” He said. “Who wants to die? No, Bee. I don’t want to die.” My friend laughed, and the guard holding him flinched, as if a single movement or expression would trigger him to combust like the others. “What did I tell you? I want to go visit my dad before Christmas. I want to move across the country and start fresh in a new college. I want to…” he pulled a face. “I want to eat New York pizza and kiss a stranger, make mistakes that I learn from. Maybe I want to go skinny dipping in mid-December, drive through late night traffic with my head stuck out of the window singing to cheesy pop. Barf all over myself after too much drinking, and then do it all over again the next night because I have zero self-control.”
The more he was speaking, the more I realised I was losing him. No, I’d lost him.
Jun was speaking in goodbye, and there was nothing I could do to stop him. Because, if he had made his choice to give in to his fate, then what business did I have trying to save him? He would only hate me. He was doing a bad job of acting like goodbye didn’t matter to him though, swiping at sore eyes. “The list goes on, Bee! Of course I want to live, idiot,” he laughed again, though it was more of a sob. I thought I was getting through to him. I knew deep, deep down, he didn’t want this either. But Jun was a good person.
He stepped out of the guards restraint , and into my arms. He was warm, and I held onto that. “Nobody ever wants to die,” He mumbled into my shoulder. I squeezed him tighter. “even on the edge of life, even with that storm cloud over their head, the suffocating pressure in their chest. All of that anxiety and pain knotting up their gut telling them they’re not worth it. That they should give up. They all still want to live. They want that reason to keep going.”
I knew exactly what he was talking about. Why I couldn't step in front of traffic or cut open my wrists. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe not all of Jun was gone. His eyes were far too sad for me to call them empty. Brainwashed. “But,” he stumbled over his words, pulling away so abruptly, I felt like all the air in my lungs had been sucked away. “How is it fair that I live while everyone else dies? Our whole class, Bee. How could I stay breathing while they sacrificed themselves for us every year prior?”
“They didn’t have a choice!” I said through gritted teeth. “Do you really think they willingly walked in there? They didn’t want to die, Jun! I saw them die. All of them."
Jun’s eyes flickered to the guards in front of him, and for a moment it looked like I was getting through to him. He made the slightest of movements, his hand grasping hold of my wrist, fingernails digging into my flesh. I felt that desperation to live. Even if he insisted it was the opposite, I knew he was putting on a brave face. But then our Principal was gone, and more red was spattering my face. Jun let go of my wrist and stepped away from me for the final time, allowing the dwindling guards to grab him. I finally understood what the mayor meant. The longer we were breathing, others were suffering and the town was falling apart. Except I couldn’t bring myself to have sympathy for them.
Would you?
“Jun.” I was fighting, then. Fighting to hold myself together when I was splintering apart. “What I heard… in my head,” I sputtered. “They weren’t voices. They didn’t speak to me.” I could feel my knees buckling. “They were screaming! They didn’t want to die! And… and why should we?”
I turned to glare at the mayor who was still standing. “Why should we die for them, huh?” I demanded. “Give me one good reason why we should die. So they can kill the seniors next year? Why should we be the ones they sacrifice? Prisoners exist! Child murderers! Why can’t it be them?”
“That is something we considered.” The mayor started to say, but I cut him off.
“Shut up.” I gritted through a mouthful of tears. “You don’t get to speak."
The mayor looked like he might argue but decided against it.
Jun shrugged. “It’s either us or the planet.”
“This isn’t a movie,” I said, “Do you really think you’re doing some heroic gesture and the whole town is going to cheer you on?” I was seething, I couldn’t control my words, control my breathing. “No. They see you as a sacrifice and nothing else. I don’t see them putting up a fucking memorial. Did they for the others? Did they care, Jun? The girl who put all this in your head. Did the town remember her?"
It took two single strides to grab him.
Shake him.
"Did. The. Town. Care? About any of them? Noah? Tommy? The girl who filled your head with all this crap? Did Littlewood remember them?"
He held my gaze. “She said I was going to save billions. They don't have to care."
“So?” I shrieked. “I choose myself any day! And you should too!"
I expected him to call me selfish, but that wasn’t Jun.
“So, run.”
I let go of him. “Jun, I swear to God–"
“I’m not saying goodbye,” Jun said in a strained voice. “I’m going to turn around and walk away. And you’re not going to look back, okay?"
“What?”
If Littlewood hadn't been decaying around us, I would have held onto him.
Mira was grabbed before she could follow Jonas, and I was so close to following Jun. I was so fucking close to giving myself up, as long as I got to be with him and the others. When one of the guards took a hesitant step towards me, however, I found myself backing away. No. I didn’t want to die. I didn’t want to fucking die, and if that made me selfish, so be it. I felt myself moving step my step.
One last look at Jun.
He wasn’t smiling, his head bowed as a guard pinned his wrists behind his back. When he lifted his head, his eyes were on the horizon. He looked content. And knowing that he was happy—he was at peace with his fate, I ran. And behind me, just as I turned around, the mayor was staring at me, a look of immense disgust on his face. I stared back. I wanted him to explode. I wanted his body to shower the street in red and prove to me that this so-called entity didn’t just take innocents. It took those in power too. And yet he stood there, not a smear on his perfectly pressed suit. His expression was twisted with fear, a pain in his eyes I had never seen before.
And his words were echoing inside my skull.
"Human blood and life force was seen as the greatest gift Littlewood's bearers could accept— as well as the soul from an elder, or an authority of the town. But of course we couldn't do that. In the simplest of terms, our elders were…more important.”
I took pleasure in quickening my pace into a sprint.
It’s been 12 days since I last saw Jun. On October 3rd, the trees started to blossom again. Outside my hiding place, the remnants of the diner, a rose bush bloomed out of nowhere, followed by daisies. Amongst the chaos, the endless shower of red every time another towns person was claimed, there it was. Life. Sitting in a battlefield of death. Jun.
Number forty seven. I want to believe it wasn’t him, that he got away, that he got some sense knocked into him. But it was hard to ignore the suffocating presence squeezing the breath from our town lift—even if it was only slightly. I lit a candle for him. Well, I couldn’t find any candles, so I set my neighbour’s yard alight instead. October 5th, the ground stopped cracking apart and the town's people were spared. Number forty eight. Jonas. It was fast, and I knew by the way the wind knocked into me threatening to throw me off my bike when I was scoping the ruins of my neighbourhood, a powerful gust blowing my hair from my face, that it was him.
I sensed his anger and frustration, but no pain. I think he liked being part of the wind. Jonas had done the opposite of what I thought he would. Instead of running away from his fate, he’d given up. Maybe he didn’t have anyone left. He should have ran. Maybe there might be far more destruction if he did. Jun and Jonas totalled the number of sacrifices to forty eight. I wondered if it was enough to make Jun’s wish come true. Did my fallen classmates really save the world?
Following them was Mira. I knew by the pace the leaves started to flower on trees, like the town was mending itself, that she was gone. With her combined with the boys, I think it was enough to stop the destruction, at least for a little while. Mira had fought until her last breath. She didn’t want to die, and that was evident in her lingering presence causing more decay than life before she seemingly found some kind of peace. Birds started to sing again, and the last person who exploded was, ironically, her mother. Sucks to be her. I think I’m allowed to laugh in this situation, right? Maybe Mira had a hand in it.
And I did laugh. I laughed until I cried.
Until the remaining town’s people power washed her off the sidewalk with everyone else.
October 13th, and the sun is shining.
The town are attempting to rebuild a broken Littlewood, and I sit here hoping me still existing and breathing will bring their downfall. I don’t have to hide anymore. Nobody will come near me. I’m like a plague, which works for me.
I’m skipping town soon, but first I want to stay behind to see the fireworks. I want to know if Littlewood has truly been spared or they’re just taking their time. I like to think my classmates are still here. I mean, they are. I see them in spring flowers coming to life in Fall. I hear them in the wind blowing my hair back. Some call me a coward for running away, while others beg me to keep going. And I will. I’m just… waiting.
I’m waiting for Littlewood to fall. Because I am the 50th sacrifice. While I breathe, their debt is not paid. My town’s clock is ticking, and I can’t wait for a wrath to finally be bestowed on the ignorant. I know this “entity” won’t rest until we’ve all been gifted to them. I can see that in rotting animal carcases appearing in the road and on the sidewalk. The town try to hide it.
They’re trying to hide the sudden appearance of maggot like insects festering on every street corner and a mysterious flu which has taken hold of the kindergarten. Like I said, I should sympathise with their dead. I don’t think our parents knew about any of this. We were just monsters to them; monsters they decided to let go. I am thinking about playing the pied piper and taking the little kids of the town with me. I can still save them, right? They don't have to die too.
I saw a junior girl yesterday.
Lanie Matthews. I used to sit with her in the cafeteria sometimes. She was handing out flyers in an attempt to send away Littlewood’s juniors to a safe place so the curse doesn’t get them next year. I want to tell her that her fate will follow Noah Sharpe and Jonas Lockhart. Mira Jane. Jun Sato.
Did their sacrifices really make a difference?
Who knows? Maybe this “entity” will take our world before October 1st, 2023. I think they’re waiting for me. They’re waiting for me to give in too. At some point, I almost caved. It was the screaming I couldn’t bear. Mother’s crying for their children in despair, and vice versa. But then I got a hold of myself. If I want to bring down Littlewood, then I have to survive. I wonder if the world will follow…
Are you worth saving?
In my opinion, no.
You're not worth Jun and Jonas and Mira, as well as generations of our town burning them alive.
Why should I sacrifice myself for a planet which is already killing itself?
I think I'm losing my mind. Yesterday, when I was hunting for supplies, readying myself to leave, I could have sworn I saw two guys leave the remnants of what used to be the old church. Hands entangled, the two of them hissing at each other, wielding baseball bats and cloth bags on their backs. Maybe I haven't been eating enough, but their faces, despite being bloodied and bruised, haunted eyes scanning an oblivion in front of them– a cursed town which insisted on their sacrifice– were familiar. They moved in a cloak-and-dagger dance across ruins, the one in front keeping a firm grasp of the other's arm, and when they moved, each step was in sync, the two grasping onto each other like their lives depended on it.
I can't help wondering if perhaps I was wrong. Maybe Jun and Jonas aren't part of the wind, afterall. I think they're much closer. And whether they are reincarnations built in flowers, or ghosts still attached to the town, I will find them again. But also… I won't fall victim to my own imagination. It could have been anyone. The way they moved, however, made me want to believe my delusion. It is hopeful thinking, but that is all I can do right now. I can hope they're much closer. And I'll reunite with them.
One day.
I’m going to ask you that same question again.
If this was your choice.
What would you do?
Would you surrender yourself to a fate which will save billions of lives… or run?
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When the bus came to an abrupt stop suddenly, I pressed my head against the window and peered out, hyper alert of my surroundings.
I was seeing a large glass building which reminded me of a school, or maybe a hospital. It looked far more modern than anything in Littlewood. It hit me that this was the Halfway House we had been promised solace ever since we were kids. I vaguely remembered our class being told about the curse and quickly following that up with, “But we’ll keep you safe. Like we do every year, we send our seniors to a place of healing to prepare them for the outside world after going through such trauma where they can mend and reignite themselves."
Ironic wording, considering what really happened to us.
In actuality, I knew exactly what it was. The whispering in my head had revealed the Halfway House’s true meaning. Inside that building we were going to burn. We were going to fucking burn and nobody was coming to save us. Not our parents or the town. Leaning back in my chair, my gaze flicked to the front where two armed guards were beginning to escort my classmates off of the bus. I had already made my decision when I grabbed Jun’s sleeve and yanked him under the seat in front of us. He let out a sharp gasp, almost a sound of protest. “Bee, what are you doing? Get off--"
Slamming my hand over his mouth, I pressed myself into a ball, pulling him further under the seat. The thud, thud, thud, of the guards' boots sent slithers of fear creeping up and down my spine. They passed us. I could hear their breaths, their muttering to each other.
The guards already knew our game. I sensed them checking under each seat—which motivated me to shuffle myself further under until I couldn’t breathe. Jun didn’t move, his breaths sharp and heavy into the flesh of my palm. After a moment which seemed to go on forever, thudding boots retreated back towards the front of the bus. I squeezed my eyes shut when the engines started up once again. Gripping Jun for dear life, I settled on taking deep breaths. We were going to get out, I thought. We were going to escape.
“Can you get off of me?" Jun tried to squirm from my grip, but I tightened my hold on him.
“Shh.” I said under my breath. “Don’t make a sound, okay?”
"Why? We're going to the Halfway house!"
I bit back a yell, stopping him from crawling away from me. "There is no halfway house."
Once the bus started to move, keeping a firm grip on Jun’s sleeve, I pulled us from our hiding place and lifted my head, scanning for somewhere better. The back was our best bet. When I started towards it, dragging Jun with me, however, I spotted two familiar faces already in hiding. Jonas and Mira. Jun let out a low grumble, and part of me couldn't believe he was still salty about Jonas in this situation.
Without speaking, we joined them, with Jonas shuffling back so I could join him, pulling a reluctant Jun with me. It was an uncomfortable squeeze but we were safe. I allowed myself to breathe when the bus fell into a steady drive. But I didn’t have time to relax. I was considering asking Jonas in low whispers why he had chosen to hide, when once again the bus came to a jolting stop. “Forty six?” The bus driver all but thundered from the front. “What are you talking about? Fifty were loaded onto the bus. I fucking counted them!"
Shit. Shooting the other’s a panicked look, I weighed our options. Four against one.
We could easily get past him.
“No. No, we did a sweep of the bus!" His voice was growing panicked. "There’s nobody on here."
Jonas twisted around, shooting me a questioning look.
What the fuck is wrong with him? He mouthed.
I pressed my index over my lips in response.
Jun let out a frustrated hiss, and I instantly knew what he was going to do. Before he could, however, I was slamming my hand over his mouth once again, this time with Jonas' help, cutting off his strangled, "We're over–"
Jonas shoved us further under, dragging a struggling Jun. "Do you want us to get caught!?" He exploded in a hiss of breath.
Jun only muffled into my hand, and I half wondered if knocking him out would benefit us. The bus driver’s voice was eerily shaky. I could hear every tremble in his tone. “Check? Yes! Uh, yes, I’ll check now. Don’t worry, alright? There’s no more kids on this bus. They must have ran away."
When the driver started down the aisle in a bumbling stumble, ducking under each seat, I attempted to hide. I mean there was nowhere to hide, though I at least tried to shove myself uncomfortably further under the damn seat until we were squashed like sardines. “Hey!”
The driver’s steps quickened towards us and I felt my body catapult into fight or flight.
“What are you kids still doing here?” When I lifted my head to meet his eyes, I expected anger. There was no anger, however. I was seeing frustration and fear, trickles of pain blooming in wide cartoon-like eyes. The guy was keeping his distance from us, I noticed.
Like we were teeming with the plague. It was a curse, not a contagious virus.
"What do we do?" Jonas murmured.
"We stay here."
"But he's looking directly at us." He said in a sing-song voice. "I don't think he's blind."
Before I could stop him, Jonas was awkwardly dislodging himself from the gap underneath the seats. He jumped to his feet and raised his arms in mocking surrender. His smile was bright, but there was an underlying darkness in his eyes, and I had no doubt he wouldn’t resort to violence. “Yeah, okay, you got us. We were just hitchhiking back to town. I’m not a fan of the whole half-way house thing,” he said. “I’d rather just ride back into town and go and see my pops.” His lip curled. “I want to see if he’s okay. You know, after last night. I'm sure you know I'm a little on edge."
“No.” The driver’s eyes filled with tears. “No…” he shook his head rapidly, his arms trembling at his sides. “You're not going anywhere. You.. you're staying right there."
"What, so I get possessed by the dead souls of my ancestors and now I don't have basic human rights?" Jonas rolled his eyes with a scoff. "You're legally inclined to let me go. I don't want to go to some weird halfway house and pretend I didn't gut my best friend's mother, alright? I'm going home, asshole."
The driver didn't move. "I'm telling you to… to stay back." He moaned. "Please. I have a wife. I have a wife and two children, and I just got promoted! I don't need this shit!"
Jonas' eyes darkened. "What did you say?"
"Jonas…" Jun hissed out.
"No, no, I'm curious to know what the fuck this guy's problem is," The boy spat. "I woke up tangled in my neighbors guts, and this guy…" He started to laugh, a hysterical giggle collapsing into a sob. "This guy thinks his job is more important?"
"You're a disease." The man said in a whisper. "You shouldn't… exist." His gaze flicked to me. "All of you. You're a disease."
A look of hurt sparked in the boy's eyes, and his lip curled. “The curse is over, Jackass! I'm not going to kill you!" Jonas cocked his head, his expression crumpling with confusion when the guy started sobbing. "Are you…crying? Jeez, what did I say, huh? I'm not going to kill you! We just want to go home, alright? Look! I'm holding up my hands. Just take us home."
Just as promised, Jonas held up his hands.
I chose to stand at that point. Jun followed hesitantly, Mira following, staying behind Jonas. The driver stiffened, backing away.
“I said stay back!" He hissed out. “Do you hear me?” His shaky hand went into his jacket, his eyes squeezing shut like he was expecting something. Pulling out a phone, the man's fingers nervously tapped the screen. He didn't take his eyes off us. “I’m taking you kids back to the Halfway House, alright?"
He nodded at us like we would agree if he looked as pathetic as possible. And he did. The guy looked like he was ready to drop to his knees and beg. “Just… stay there.”
I caught the exact moment he dropped the notion of an authority figure. His lips twisted when Jonas ignored his instructions and took a casual step towards him. If this guy had a gun, I knew he would use it. Instead, he stumbled back with a cry. “Don’t fucking move! I mean it!”
Jonas' lip curved. He raised a brow. “Like this?” Another step.
This time, the man let out a shriek.
“Jonas.” Jun said. “Dude, stop. You're scaring him."
"Scaring him? What's to be scared of?" He laughed. "The night's over, and this guy still thinks a bunch of kids are going to gut him."
"I don't know," Jun whispered, "but don't get too close, okay? He looks freaked."
“Why?” Jonas twisted around to look at him. “This guy’s got fucking problems. Didn't I tell him we weren't a threat?"
I caught a glimmer of that maniacal glitter left over from overnight. “Let me guess,” Jonas laughed. “Do you see dead people?” In three strides, he was face to face with the guy. Nose to nose. Still smiling. The driver was petrified to the spot, like Jonas was inhuman. His eyes were wide, lips moving, but he wasn't speaking. "You look like you're about to poop yourself over a bunch of teenagers, my guy. Kind of pathetic, dontcha think?"
"I…" The man's bottom lip trembled. His breaths were heavy, his mouth twisting and turning and trying to speak. I would have felt sorry for him, if it wasn't for him being responsible for bringing my class to the slaughter. He couldn't even get words out, wide eyes pinpointed on Jonas and Jun like they were ghosts. Something was building in my head, a pressure harsh enough to make my nose bleed.
I found myself staring out of the window. I had initially caught the movement of a lamppost swaying back and forth. But there was no wind. When I squinted, I noticed more things which didn't make sense; a patch of flowers which had been planted outside the Halfway House were… drooping. No, not just drooping. They were blackening, rotting away into their soil, petals being whisked into the air and coming apart.
It was 10:30 in the morning, and the sky was darkening.
Jun started forwards and grabbed Jonas’s wrist, and with the two of them so close, the man let out a childish whine which only confused Jonas further. Outside, a tree I was so sure had been standing tall and proud, crashed onto the ground suddenly, the force of the impact rattling the bus. I fought to hold on. The pressure was building in my brain, and suddenly I couldn’t… I couldn’t breathe. “Hey!” Jonas yelled in the driver's frozen face. “What did I say, huh? The curse is over! You don’t have to be scared of us anymore, alright? Just… take us home–"
Bubble-gum.
It sounded like bursting bubble-gum.
I didn’t hear the latter half of what he’d said because the bus windows were suddenly bright red, dripping red. The floor was red, the seats, and the ceiling. Jonas was red, and I could feel splatters of it on my cheeks and speckled on my chin. The others had gotten the worst of it, but it was still painting me. The red was warm and wet, like I had bathed in it. It was at my feet, pooling and spilling and spattering every colour from existence. I felt like I was back in on the school corridor being suffocated by a wet rag pressed over my mouth, horrifying images projecting into my hand from the fumes. But these weren't delusions. This was real. It was happening.
There was a dizzying moment when I thought it was raining blood before my brain found reality and I blinked at the spot where the driver had stood in front of us—and it began to dawn on me. I hadn’t been looking at the man when he popped out of existence. I was watching the leaves on the trees outside start to brown and then blacken into nothing. Like there was an invisible force decaying everything in its path. Jonas, who looked like he was starring in Cannibal Holocaust, twisted around to face me with wide, almost unseeing eyes. He looked like he might say something before the bus shook, and I forced myself to move, to find the window.
Outside, the ground had started to crack apart, zigzagging raptures spreading like fire across the sidewalk. Jun grabbed my arm and pulled me off the bus, Jonas diving off first, Mira on his heel. The world was crumbling around us, I realised. I could see it in flocks of birds flying across the sky in a panic. When we found solid ground, Jonas started hyperventilating. I was half listening to him mutter obscenities to himself, eyeing the growing sinkhole eating up everything in front of us. A woman jumped into her car and attempted to drive straight ahead before another tree collapsed, crushing her. “This is the curse.” Jonas said shakily. “It’s got to be, right? But why would they still be mad?"
The four of us teetered on a safe piece of sidewalk.
Mira wasn’t speaking. I think she was frozen. Traumatised. I could barely see her through the red.
“Nope.” Jun murmured. He swiped blood from his eyes with his sleeve. “It’s because we’re refusing to save the world.”
“What?” Jonas spluttered.
The ground started to split in front of me and I staggered back, my stomach galloping into my throat.
“He’s brainwashed.” I found myself gritting out. “Jun’s convinced we’re saving the world.”
“Like… like The Avengers?” Jonas grabbed his arm with a laugh. “Dude, did you hit your head?”
“No.”
“Then what are you talking about?”
“Didn’t I make it clear I didn’t want to talk to you?”
“Well, you might as well! Since the fuckin’ world is ending!” He paused. "If this about me and Wendy--"
Jun laughed. "You're telling me this now?!"
“Stop.” Mira cut in, her cry breaking into a sob. “Just shut up. Shut up! I can't think!"
Their back and forth was barely a whisper in the back of my mind while I watched chaos unfold in front of me. Have you ever heard a human being explode?
It kind of sounds like bubble gum bursting.
I glimpsed a running man hand in hand with a little kid before both of them went “Poof!” against the store window, painting it in a whole new colour.
Like a domino effect, the town's people started rupturing like the ground beneath us. I was staring at an old woman struggling to hobble through a panicking crowd when the mayor announced himself via megaphone across a particularly large crack in splintered concrete. Armed guards surrounded him and I wondered if whatever this was would spare him. “Stay exactly where you are!”
“Do you understand me? Do not move!”
When they risked coming closer, part of me revelled in seeing fear prickle in their eyes. Behind the mayor, was our principal. His face beet red. The guy was seething. “Can you kids understand what you have done?”
Uh, yeah.
I think we had accidentally caused the death of Littlewood.
I didn’t say that, though. I wanted answers and Jun and Jonas seemed in their own world, watching our town crumble around us. “The curse.” I said shakily when they were close enough to hear us. The bookshop I’d frequented my whole life started to crumble behind me, windows splintering with the force of the quake. But It barely fazed me. Neither did the little girl screaming for her exploding mother showering her in scarlet. “Who really started it?”
The mayor dropped his megaphone. “If I tell you, will you hand yourselves over?”
Even his voice was shaking.
I nodded. “Of course.”
"What?!" Jonas shot me a look.
"She's not being serious, idiot," Jun muttered to him. "She's stalling."
The mayor's lips twisted. “No fighting? No more questions?”
“Sure.” I said, gesturing to the world around us. “You should hurry up though. Unless you want to turn into brain soup.”
If the phenomenon happening around us wanted to take the three of us, we would already be dead. It wasn’t targeting us, however. It was killing everyone except us.
Which spoke volumes.
“Uh, no,” Jonas hissed, tugging on my sleeve. “We should run. Like, right fucking now. I don't care what you want to say, okay? I don't want to be part of this!"
“Let him explain.” I said.
“Bee, are you serious?” Mira's eyes were wide, cartoon like.
“Very.” I told her, before directing my words at the mayor. “I want to know why you made Noah Sharpe kill my mother eleven years ago. And I don't want bullshit."
A woman who was mid run across the ruins of the sidewalk blossomed into a cloud of red, and I only just glimpsed what was left of her bag landing onto the ground with a comical splat. The mayor looked like he might argue or even attempt to capture us right there and then. But he didn’t give the order. Instead, he pasted on a strict smile. “Two hundred years ago in the year 1799, the elders of this town made a grave mistake which they knew they would regret for the coming years, dooming their children, and their ancestors to eternal misery” He cleared his throat, suddenly looking uncomfortable. “Littlewood was on the brink of collapse. Women were unfortunately barren and unable to bear children, and nothing they tried would work. They tried everything, Bee. Everything which would work and wouldn't - - old wives tales, and whispers in the wind carrying word of mouth. The town had no other option and were forced to make a terrible choice. Our elders prayed to an entity and asked for good luck and prosperity to help us through trying times, and for their women to no longer be barren."
“Prayed?” Jun frowned. “Like… to a God?”
“You could say that.” The mayor smiled proudly.
"No, you said… you said there was a fire," Jonas whispered. He was already in denial. "That's what you told us! You told us there was a fire which killed a bunch of kids…and we’re punished because you didn’t help them. Because you let them burn."
The mayor was doing a good job of skirting around actual conversation.
He nodded gravely. “That was the story we told you, yes. It was built on the bones of the truth. However, the reality of what really happened would cause panic. The truth is our ancestors sacrificed fifty teenagers in the year 1799. They were a gift to this entity in control of our beloved town. As you already know, human sacrifice was practised in those days. Some say it was normal. Human blood and life force was seen as the greatest gift Littlewood's bearers could accept— as well as the soul from an elder, or an authority of the town. But of course we couldn't do that. In the simplest of terms, our elders were.. more important. ” He folded his arms. “However, what they did not know is that those sacrifices were… impure. They had engaged in certain activities which would be deemed… unsanitary, or maybe that's not the word for it. They, ahh.. I'm not sure how to–"
“They fucked.” Jonas cut him off with an eye-roll.
The mayor’s gaze found the ground.
“Indeed.” He said. “Angered, the entity demanded more than the town could give it, and when town’s people started to notice rotting food and animals disappearing, rumours of a beast lurking in the trees beginning to circulate, they struck a deal. Every year following, the eighteen year olds, with fifty being the minimum, would be sacrificed as our punishment.”
“Burned.” I corrected in a scoff.
The man found my gaze. “In those times, yes. Burned at the stake. However, throughout the years we have found a far more humane way to complete the ritual.”
Yeah. Incineration.
“I’m not a virgin.” Jonas said dryly.
“That doesn’t matter.” The mayor said. “Whether you are or not, fifty sacrifices were demanded to make up for the towns sins. If the debt wasn’t paid, however, the entity threatened a wrath greater than hell on earth to strike our town and then the world.” This time he lifted his gaze and looked me directly in the eye like I was supposed to feel guilty. “What we call The Teen Purge would be child’s play in comparison to what they have planned for us,” he continued. “If the correct number of sacrifices are not made, Littlewood will fall, which will cause a domino effect. Destruction will spread to neighbouring towns and then cities, followed by countries across the world, killing billions of people.” The mayor gestured around us as spattered red. “As you can see, we are already seeing the start of it.”
“So… two hundred years ago, you idiots prayed to an inhuman entity and actually expected them to give you what you wanted?” Mira whispered.
Then she laughed to my surprise. “You killed fifty kids because a faceless presence told you to?”
“Like I said, Mira,” The mayor’s tone grew cold. “Human sacrifice was considered normal in those days. I’m not saying what our ancestors did was right, but they were starving. Their women could not bear children.”
“What does that have to do with turning us into psychopaths?” I found myself asking, my voice was trembling. “Why did Noah kill my mom?”
This time, the man wore the slightest of smiles. “Do you really think parents would agree to us murdering their children if we didn’t make them fear them? If we didn’t plant the idea in their head that it was their twisted child’s life or innocent towns people? Your parents were as in the dark as you. In their eyes, you were cursed. Killers. You had to be taken away.”
“You’re kidding.” Jonas looked frantic, his eyes darting around, searching for an escape, “Do you seriously think I’ll die for a town which has ostracized us since were five years old? Who made us think we were fucking monsters?”
“Mr Lockhart, the sole reason why this town is crumbling around us is because you are still breathing.” The Mayor told him. “Right now, forty six seniors have been… gifted as part of our yearly ritual. That is not enough to stop them from destroying us. We need exactly fifty sacrifices.”
“Well, good luck finding them.” Jonas said in a choked laugh. “I’m sorry, but no. If you think I’m going to willingly sacrifice myself, you’re deluded!”
“Jonas.” The principle at least tried to be sympathetic. “I know you don’t want to do this, but which would you prefer? A world which is no longer recognisable, one which you wouldn’t be able to survive anyway, or a peaceful euthanasian? Your father is still alive. You will be saving him.”
“I don’t care!” He sputtered. “You think I give a fuck about anyone in this town? You’re an elder,” He accused. “Why not give yourself to them, huh?”
“That’s…” The Mayor looked taken aback for a moment. “Mr Lockhart, that is incredibly disrespectful.”
"So is murdeding our entire senior class! " He gasped out, his body trembling. Jonas backed away, grabbing Jun’s hand, and then mine. I held on, but Jun wrenched away from his grasp, his eyes far too empty for me to bear.
“The girl who told me she had a siren in her head,” He said softly. “She said I was going to save billions of lives, and this is what she meant.”
Jonas let out a sound of distain, and Mira laughed again. Her laughter was hysterical.
There was a content smile on Jun’s face and I realised with a pang in my chest, that I preferred it to the agony twisting his expression when I’d found him. I wanted him to be happy, to be at peace. But not like this. I wanted to run away with him, with Jonas and Mira, even if this twisted fate demanded otherwise. Jun strode over to the guards, with two out of four spontaneously combusting in their helmets before the remainder grabbed and restrained him. For a moment, Jonas looked like he might join him. I saw it in his expression, in his eyes filling with tears.
He took a shaky step forward like he would abandon self-preservation for a boy he had confusing feelings for, a boy who was locked into a fantasy nobody could pull him out of. Before he turned on his heel and ran. I watched him go, concrete splintering under his every clumsy step, as he pushed himself into a sprint. I respected that Jonas had chosen himself over the town. His own life over 7 billion people. He didn’t owe Littlewood anything.
“Mr Lockhart!” The mayor yelled, a look of panic twisting his expression.
“Go after him! We need fifty sacrifices!”
The guards hesitated.
They were scared to get near any of us.
“Go!”
After hesitating, they were stumbling after him, but Jonas was already out of sight.
He nodded to the remaining guards holding Jun. “Take him to the halfway house. They’re waiting for him."
At his words, I found myself backing away, and an almost childlike look of pain crossed his face. “Bee.” The mayor stamped the ground like a child, like he was having a tantrum. “Did you not hear him?” He shook Jun like a doll, his smile widening into a grin. “You’re going to save the world!”
No.
I laughed at him. In his fucking face.
He had to be kidding!
He’d taken away my mom, and Noah— now Jun. My entire fucking class.
To make up for a mistake THEY had made. We were being punished for what they had done.
For 200 years, we had suffered.
Because of them.
And he expected me to give myself up?
One look at Jun told me he would never follow me. He had already made his choice.
Still though, I smiled at him.
And he smiled back.
Not a Wonderland Smile, a real smile.
“You’re insane.” I found myself spluttering. “You actually want to die.”
Jun rolled his eyes. “Die?” He said. “Who wants to die? No, Bee. I don’t want to die.” My friend laughed, and the guard holding him flinched, as if a single movement or expression would trigger him to combust like the others. “What did I tell you? I want to go visit my dad before Christmas. I want to move across the country and start fresh in a new college. I want to…” he pulled a face. “I want to eat New York pizza and kiss a stranger, make mistakes that I learn from. Maybe I want to go skinny dipping in mid-December, drive through late night traffic with my head stuck out of the window singing to cheesy pop. Barf all over myself after too much drinking, and then do it all over again the next night because I have zero self-control.”
The more he was speaking, the more I realised I was losing him. No, I’d lost him.
Jun was speaking in goodbye, and there was nothing I could do to stop him. Because, if he had made his choice to give in to his fate, then what business did I have trying to save him? He would only hate me. He was doing a bad job of acting like goodbye didn’t matter to him though, swiping at sore eyes. “The list goes on, Bee! Of course I want to live, idiot,” he laughed again, though it was more of a sob. I thought I was getting through to him. I knew deep, deep down, he didn’t want this either. But Jun was a good person.
He stepped out of the guards restraint , and into my arms. He was warm, and I held onto that. “Nobody ever wants to die,” He mumbled into my shoulder. I squeezed him tighter. “even on the edge of life, even with that storm cloud over their head, the suffocating pressure in their chest. All of that anxiety and pain knotting up their gut telling them they’re not worth it. That they should give up. They all still want to live. They want that reason to keep going.”
I knew exactly what he was talking about. Why I couldn't step in front of traffic or cut open my wrists. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe not all of Jun was gone. His eyes were far too sad for me to call them empty. Brainwashed. “But,” he stumbled over his words, pulling away so abruptly, I felt like all the air in my lungs had been sucked away. “How is it fair that I live while everyone else dies? Our whole class, Bee. How could I stay breathing while they sacrificed themselves for us every year prior?”
“They didn’t have a choice!” I said through gritted teeth. “Do you really think they willingly walked in there? They didn’t want to die, Jun! I saw them die. All of them."
Jun’s eyes flickered to the guards in front of him, and for a moment it looked like I was getting through to him. He made the slightest of movements, his hand grasping hold of my wrist, fingernails digging into my flesh. I felt that desperation to live. Even if he insisted it was the opposite, I knew he was putting on a brave face. But then our Principal was gone, and more red was spattering my face. Jun let go of my wrist and stepped away from me for the final time, allowing the dwindling guards to grab him. I finally understood what the mayor meant. The longer we were breathing, others were suffering and the town was falling apart. Except I couldn’t bring myself to have sympathy for them.
Would you?
“Jun.” I was fighting, then. Fighting to hold myself together when I was splintering apart. “What I heard… in my head,” I sputtered. “They weren’t voices. They didn’t speak to me.” I could feel my knees buckling. “They were screaming! They didn’t want to die! And… and why should we?”
I turned to glare at the mayor who was still standing. “Why should we die for them, huh?” I demanded. “Give me one good reason why we should die. So they can kill the seniors next year? Why should we be the ones they sacrifice? Prisoners exist! Child murderers! Why can’t it be them?”
“That is something we considered.” The mayor started to say, but I cut him off.
“Shut up.” I gritted through a mouthful of tears. “You don’t get to speak."
The mayor looked like he might argue but decided against it.
Jun shrugged. “It’s either us or the planet.”
“This isn’t a movie,” I said, “Do you really think you’re doing some heroic gesture and the whole town is going to cheer you on?” I was seething, I couldn’t control my words, control my breathing. “No. They see you as a sacrifice and nothing else. I don’t see them putting up a fucking memorial. Did they for the others? Did they care, Jun? The girl who put all this in your head. Did the town remember her?"
It took two single strides to grab him.
Shake him.
"Did. The. Town. Care? About any of them? Noah? Tommy? The girl who filled your head with all this crap? Did Littlewood remember them?"
He held my gaze. “She said I was going to save billions. They don't have to care."
“So?” I shrieked. “I choose myself any day! And you should too!"
I expected him to call me selfish, but that wasn’t Jun.
“So, run.”
I let go of him. “Jun, I swear to God–"
“I’m not saying goodbye,” Jun said in a strained voice. “I’m going to turn around and walk away. And you’re not going to look back, okay?"
“What?”
If Littlewood hadn't been decaying around us, I would have held onto him.
Mira was grabbed before she could follow Jonas, and I was so close to following Jun. I was so fucking close to giving myself up, as long as I got to be with him and the others. When one of the guards took a hesitant step towards me, however, I found myself backing away. No. I didn’t want to die. I didn’t want to fucking die, and if that made me selfish, so be it. I felt myself moving step my step.
One last look at Jun.
He wasn’t smiling, his head bowed as a guard pinned his wrists behind his back. When he lifted his head, his eyes were on the horizon. He looked content. And knowing that he was happy—he was at peace with his fate, I ran. And behind me, just as I turned around, the mayor was staring at me, a look of immense disgust on his face. I stared back. I wanted him to explode. I wanted his body to shower the street in red and prove to me that this so-called entity didn’t just take innocents. It took those in power too. And yet he stood there, not a smear on his perfectly pressed suit. His expression was twisted with fear, a pain in his eyes I had never seen before.
And his words were echoing inside my skull.
"Human blood and life force was seen as the greatest gift Littlewood's bearers could accept— as well as the soul from an elder, or an authority of the town. But of course we couldn't do that. In the simplest of terms, our elders were…more important.”
I took pleasure in quickening my pace into a sprint.
It’s been 12 days since I last saw Jun. On October 3rd, the trees started to blossom again. Outside my hiding place, the remnants of the diner, a rose bush bloomed out of nowhere, followed by daisies. Amongst the chaos, the endless shower of red every time another towns person was claimed, there it was. Life. Sitting in a battlefield of death. Jun.
Number forty seven. I want to believe it wasn’t him, that he got away, that he got some sense knocked into him. But it was hard to ignore the suffocating presence squeezing the breath from our town lift—even if it was only slightly. I lit a candle for him. Well, I couldn’t find any candles, so I set my neighbour’s yard alight instead. October 5th, the ground stopped cracking apart and the town's people were spared. Number forty eight. Jonas. It was fast, and I knew by the way the wind knocked into me threatening to throw me off my bike when I was scoping the ruins of my neighbourhood, a powerful gust blowing my hair from my face, that it was him.
I sensed his anger and frustration, but no pain. I think he liked being part of the wind. Jonas had done the opposite of what I thought he would. Instead of running away from his fate, he’d given up. Maybe he didn’t have anyone left. He should have ran. Maybe there might be far more destruction if he did. Jun and Jonas totalled the number of sacrifices to forty eight. I wondered if it was enough to make Jun’s wish come true. Did my fallen classmates really save the world?
Following them was Mira. I knew by the pace the leaves started to flower on trees, like the town was mending itself, that she was gone. With her combined with the boys, I think it was enough to stop the destruction, at least for a little while. Mira had fought until her last breath. She didn’t want to die, and that was evident in her lingering presence causing more decay than life before she seemingly found some kind of peace. Birds started to sing again, and the last person who exploded was, ironically, her mother. Sucks to be her. I think I’m allowed to laugh in this situation, right? Maybe Mira had a hand in it.
And I did laugh. I laughed until I cried.
Until the remaining town’s people power washed her off the sidewalk with everyone else.
October 13th, and the sun is shining.
The town are attempting to rebuild a broken Littlewood, and I sit here hoping me still existing and breathing will bring their downfall. I don’t have to hide anymore. Nobody will come near me. I’m like a plague, which works for me.
I’m skipping town soon, but first I want to stay behind to see the fireworks. I want to know if Littlewood has truly been spared or they’re just taking their time. I like to think my classmates are still here. I mean, they are. I see them in spring flowers coming to life in Fall. I hear them in the wind blowing my hair back. Some call me a coward for running away, while others beg me to keep going. And I will. I’m just… waiting.
I’m waiting for Littlewood to fall. Because I am the 50th sacrifice. While I breathe, their debt is not paid. My town’s clock is ticking, and I can’t wait for a wrath to finally be bestowed on the ignorant. I know this “entity” won’t rest until we’ve all been gifted to them. I can see that in rotting animal carcases appearing in the road and on the sidewalk. The town try to hide it.
They’re trying to hide the sudden appearance of maggot like insects festering on every street corner and a mysterious flu which has taken hold of the kindergarten. Like I said, I should sympathise with their dead. I don’t think our parents knew about any of this. We were just monsters to them; monsters they decided to let go. I am thinking about playing the pied piper and taking the little kids of the town with me. I can still save them, right? They don't have to die too.
I saw a junior girl yesterday.
Lanie Matthews. I used to sit with her in the cafeteria sometimes. She was handing out flyers in an attempt to send away Littlewood’s juniors to a safe place so the curse doesn’t get them next year. I want to tell her that her fate will follow Noah Sharpe and Jonas Lockhart. Mira Jane. Jun Sato.
Did their sacrifices really make a difference?
Who knows? Maybe this “entity” will take our world before October 1st, 2023. I think they’re waiting for me. They’re waiting for me to give in too. At some point, I almost caved. It was the screaming I couldn’t bear. Mother’s crying for their children in despair, and vice versa. But then I got a hold of myself. If I want to bring down Littlewood, then I have to survive. I wonder if the world will follow…
Are you worth saving?
In my opinion, no.
You're not worth Jun and Jonas and Mira, as well as generations of our town burning them alive.
Why should I sacrifice myself for a planet which is already killing itself?
I think I'm losing my mind. Yesterday, when I was hunting for supplies, readying myself to leave, I could have sworn I saw two guys leave the remnants of what used to be the old church. Hands entangled, the two of them hissing at each other, wielding baseball bats and cloth bags on their backs. Maybe I haven't been eating enough, but their faces, despite being bloodied and bruised, haunted eyes scanning an oblivion in front of them– a cursed town which insisted on their sacrifice– were familiar. They moved in a cloak-and-dagger dance across ruins, the one in front keeping a firm grasp of the other's arm, and when they moved, each step was in sync, the two grasping onto each other like their lives depended on it.
I can't help wondering if perhaps I was wrong. Maybe Jun and Jonas aren't part of the wind, afterall. I think they're much closer. And whether they are reincarnations built in flowers, or ghosts still attached to the town, I will find them again. But also… I won't fall victim to my own imagination. It could have been anyone. The way they moved, however, made me want to believe my delusion. It is hopeful thinking, but that is all I can do right now. I can hope they're much closer. And I'll reunite with them.
One day.
I’m going to ask you that same question again.
If this was your choice.
What would you do?
Would you surrender yourself to a fate which will save billions of lives… or run?
2023.03.22 01:30 noinputideas Multi Person Pose Estimation
I'm looking for an example of a model that estimations the position of various people on screen. Examples such a the one provided by tensorflow uses images and animated gifs. I plan on running around an hour long video. I follow the tutorial provided by Nicholas Renotte, but his code does not seem to be working for me. Nothing outputs.
Any help would be great!
submitted by noinputideas to tensorflow [link] [comments]
Any help would be great!
2023.03.22 01:20 QuothTheRaven713 I made a Watching and Dreaming bingo card.
 | submitted by QuothTheRaven713 to TheOwlHouse [link] [comments] |
2023.03.22 00:37 BoneBreaker-718 I might become a serial killer (very long)
I’ve never fit in with others. I was socially awkward and the people around me would dub me as 'weird' or would pick on me for it. I hardly made friends at all, and would often sit alone during lunch. Because of this, I began developing a major self-deprecation problem at around the age of 6, and have had it since then.
During 4th grade, most were good until I was touched inappropriately by another student in class, we'll call him J. I was too scared to bring it up to my parents until 2 years later. I guess you could say, he got away with it.
Years go on and I end up with severe depression and anxiety during middle school. I started self-harming and began having major suicidal thoughts, along with feelings of loneliness and existential crisis. The two friends I have were either very busy, had no classes with me, or made better friends. The bullying got so much worse as well. Middle school, great times.
Afterward, my parents throw me into therapy at a hospital. Where I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety.
At one point, the frustration was just unbearable. I wanted to take it all out on something. And what better way to do it, than by killing something?
My first kill was a friend's chicken. While no one was looking, I grabbed a chicken by its wings and stomped down on its head until it died. I was nervous at first, but after that, I felt better. So much better. For that moment only, I felt powerful and stronger than anyone else around me. That feeling didn’t last, however. I was later caught and ended up losing a friend.
My parents were understandably concerned. After a long emotional conversation with them, I promised I’d never do it again. And they believed it. And of course, I lied.
While going to therapy, school, or sports, I would continue to kill smaller animals without my parents knowing. I’d kill frogs, snakes, and most baby birds by ripping them away from their nests. My main way of killing them was by stomping on them, or by cutting their heads off with scissors. I could no longer stop myself. Later, I decided to first kill some animals as a warm-up, and kill actual people in my future.
Now…I reach freshman year, where a big part of my life makes a little more sense. During therapy, I was diagnosed with ASD or high-functioning autism. For the first time in a while, it all made sense.
I now knew why I was the ‘weird kid’ growing up. Normally, people would be happy to hear this. And in a sense I was, but I mostly hated it. A part of me wishes I never had this. Maybe I’d be more normal and acceptable to those around me. And people wouldn't have bullied me that badly.
Despite all of this, a part of me still wishes to be loved. No longer alone, and for someone to understand and accept me. Because of autism, I have a hard time understanding or comprehending some emotions. That being love. The second is with my thought of becoming a murderer not changing. I know that it’s most likely that I’ll be doing it alone, and not with a companion.
Because of my loneliness, and many not relating to my terrible thoughts or ideas (understandably), I’ve always dreamt of a guy that was just like me. He’d hate the world as much as I did, and would be happy to kill alongside me. And he’s accepted me for who I am, along with my autism and weird-ass self. Knowing that that’ll probably never happen, I’ve created an imaginary boyfriend/husband by the name of Jack. He’s a great guy and is always there when I need him. I mostly think of him when laying in bed. I sleep with two body pillows on both sides. Whenever I hug or kiss them, I think of him. I know he’s not real, and knowing the truth always hurts, but it’s something I cling to. The only way I can feel some kind of love, even if it’s fake.
Now, you might be wondering, why not give therapy a chance? Why not tell your parents? I could, but I won’t. I simply cannot. The reason is stupid, but I’ll tell you anyway.
I’m afraid that if I tell them all this shit I’ve been doing behind their backs and tell them about Jack, they’ll try to change me for the better, by throwing me into a psych ward. And will tell me to forget about Jack. I know to you guys, it’d be easy, but he’s the only thing I’ve got. The only thing that can understand me, and love me for the monster I am. Therefore, I will never forget him.
I don’t wish to be changed, I wish to remain a monster. After everything, I’ve fully committed to the idea, that killing people, is the right thing to do. And nothing can change my mind. Regardless, I have little to no value in myself. Because of what I am and what I think of, I’m terrible. Hell is where I’m destined to go, it’s something I’ve just accepted at this point. Even if I end up going alone. It’s what I deserve.
I know some of you guys might be thinking, “People have had it worse than you! You have no reason to be like this! You’re selfish for thinking this!!” And you’re probably right. For further info, I’m not trying to justify my thoughts or my reasons for why I am the way I am. I’m simply terrible and don’t deserve any kind of sympathy for this. I’m only telling you this so I can get this off my chest.
Right now, my family and therapist think I’m doing great. They see me as their perfect woman and daughter that’s making a great recovery. Even though, it’s all a complete lie.
I won’t lie. I do feel bad about lying to my family and others about this. I know I’ve let them down and failed them. Even if they tried to help me, I simply won’t allow it. I've accepted myself for the failure I've become, and can no longer be brought back. I should've never been born.
Mom and dad, I’m sorry for failing you.
Sorry for making this too long. I just had a lotta shit to say. If you made it this far, thanks for reading and listening to me.
PS: Not every person with autism is like this. Many people with autism are very smart and can do incredible things. I’m just a terrible person. Don’t compare those with autism to me.
Thank you.
submitted by BoneBreaker-718 to confessions__za [link] [comments]
During 4th grade, most were good until I was touched inappropriately by another student in class, we'll call him J. I was too scared to bring it up to my parents until 2 years later. I guess you could say, he got away with it.
Years go on and I end up with severe depression and anxiety during middle school. I started self-harming and began having major suicidal thoughts, along with feelings of loneliness and existential crisis. The two friends I have were either very busy, had no classes with me, or made better friends. The bullying got so much worse as well. Middle school, great times.
Afterward, my parents throw me into therapy at a hospital. Where I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety.
At one point, the frustration was just unbearable. I wanted to take it all out on something. And what better way to do it, than by killing something?
My first kill was a friend's chicken. While no one was looking, I grabbed a chicken by its wings and stomped down on its head until it died. I was nervous at first, but after that, I felt better. So much better. For that moment only, I felt powerful and stronger than anyone else around me. That feeling didn’t last, however. I was later caught and ended up losing a friend.
My parents were understandably concerned. After a long emotional conversation with them, I promised I’d never do it again. And they believed it. And of course, I lied.
While going to therapy, school, or sports, I would continue to kill smaller animals without my parents knowing. I’d kill frogs, snakes, and most baby birds by ripping them away from their nests. My main way of killing them was by stomping on them, or by cutting their heads off with scissors. I could no longer stop myself. Later, I decided to first kill some animals as a warm-up, and kill actual people in my future.
Now…I reach freshman year, where a big part of my life makes a little more sense. During therapy, I was diagnosed with ASD or high-functioning autism. For the first time in a while, it all made sense.
I now knew why I was the ‘weird kid’ growing up. Normally, people would be happy to hear this. And in a sense I was, but I mostly hated it. A part of me wishes I never had this. Maybe I’d be more normal and acceptable to those around me. And people wouldn't have bullied me that badly.
Despite all of this, a part of me still wishes to be loved. No longer alone, and for someone to understand and accept me. Because of autism, I have a hard time understanding or comprehending some emotions. That being love. The second is with my thought of becoming a murderer not changing. I know that it’s most likely that I’ll be doing it alone, and not with a companion.
Because of my loneliness, and many not relating to my terrible thoughts or ideas (understandably), I’ve always dreamt of a guy that was just like me. He’d hate the world as much as I did, and would be happy to kill alongside me. And he’s accepted me for who I am, along with my autism and weird-ass self. Knowing that that’ll probably never happen, I’ve created an imaginary boyfriend/husband by the name of Jack. He’s a great guy and is always there when I need him. I mostly think of him when laying in bed. I sleep with two body pillows on both sides. Whenever I hug or kiss them, I think of him. I know he’s not real, and knowing the truth always hurts, but it’s something I cling to. The only way I can feel some kind of love, even if it’s fake.
Now, you might be wondering, why not give therapy a chance? Why not tell your parents? I could, but I won’t. I simply cannot. The reason is stupid, but I’ll tell you anyway.
I’m afraid that if I tell them all this shit I’ve been doing behind their backs and tell them about Jack, they’ll try to change me for the better, by throwing me into a psych ward. And will tell me to forget about Jack. I know to you guys, it’d be easy, but he’s the only thing I’ve got. The only thing that can understand me, and love me for the monster I am. Therefore, I will never forget him.
I don’t wish to be changed, I wish to remain a monster. After everything, I’ve fully committed to the idea, that killing people, is the right thing to do. And nothing can change my mind. Regardless, I have little to no value in myself. Because of what I am and what I think of, I’m terrible. Hell is where I’m destined to go, it’s something I’ve just accepted at this point. Even if I end up going alone. It’s what I deserve.
I know some of you guys might be thinking, “People have had it worse than you! You have no reason to be like this! You’re selfish for thinking this!!” And you’re probably right. For further info, I’m not trying to justify my thoughts or my reasons for why I am the way I am. I’m simply terrible and don’t deserve any kind of sympathy for this. I’m only telling you this so I can get this off my chest.
Right now, my family and therapist think I’m doing great. They see me as their perfect woman and daughter that’s making a great recovery. Even though, it’s all a complete lie.
I won’t lie. I do feel bad about lying to my family and others about this. I know I’ve let them down and failed them. Even if they tried to help me, I simply won’t allow it. I've accepted myself for the failure I've become, and can no longer be brought back. I should've never been born.
Mom and dad, I’m sorry for failing you.
Sorry for making this too long. I just had a lotta shit to say. If you made it this far, thanks for reading and listening to me.
PS: Not every person with autism is like this. Many people with autism are very smart and can do incredible things. I’m just a terrible person. Don’t compare those with autism to me.
Thank you.
2023.03.22 00:32 Storms_Wrath The Human Artificial Hivemind Part 339: Meteoric Advancement
First Previous Wiki
"So. Phoebe's activity has stopped on all accounts, correct?"
"Well," the Arbiter said, moving away from Yasihaut suspiciously, "There was a... complication."
"What do you mean?"
"You see... Phoebe isn't really dead."
"You better be kidding me right now, or your head is going out the airlock separated from your body," Yasihaut hissed.
"I am employed by the High Collective. I am their legal property, and therefore damaging me would subject you to their legal wrath."
"Yeah, okay. I won't kill you then."
The Arbiter nodded. "Good. Now for the bad news."
"Bad news?"
"That was the bad news."
"No. Phoebe has made an announcement."
"What kind of announcement?"
"Well... she kind of... had a child."
"So she adopted?"
"No. She... spawned a son."
Yasihaut's eyes widened, and a loud shriek exited her mouth. Fifty pulses later, everyone but herself had been forcibly removed from the ship except for her current navigator, her pleasure partner, and her technician.
"I'm going to go down there and kill-"
"YASIHAUT!"
A loud and familiar voice yelled out. Yasihaut turned and was punched straight into the wall by a hard fist. Kashaunta, likely a hard light hologram, strode forward, a furious look on her face.
"You."
"Me," Yasihaut said, grinning. "What do you want?"
"You made a second AI. You have broken galactic law, and your ship is being impounded."
"I did no such thing. I attacked Phoebe, yes. Did I attack the Alliance? No. Did I force her to make a child? No. She did that herself. She broke the law. Kill her and all she cares about. Kill the child, at least."
"What do you really think would happen if we were to kill Phoebe's newborn child, Yasihaut?" Kashaunta asked. "Take a while and think."
"She'd cry a lot of well-deserved tears, and perhaps even take her own life."
"You kill her child, and she will ensure the death of every Sprilnav in the galaxy in retaliation. You don't understand how big this just got, do you?"
Yasihaut shrugged, which only served to enrage Kashaunta further.
"You made a second psychic AI, one under the jurisdiction and protection of the Alliance. I was asked to look past Cander by a certain group of Elders, but this action is far too large to go unpunished. There's a Progenitor looking at this right now. You know, the rulers of the entire universe?"
"More of the galaxy, really. But you guys suck at that too, which is why I'm here trying to clean up your mess, constrained by your stupid and asinine rules."
Kashaunta's grip on Yasihaut tightened.
"Yasihaut. Were you not a hologram here, you would already be dead. Officers will be arriving at your door shortly to deliver you to one of the most glorious Sprilnav penitentiaries."
"Yeah, no," Yasihaut said. "Not happening. You're not allowed to arrest me."
"With this, it doesn't matter what I'm allowed to do," Kashaunta growled. "You made a second AI pop out of Phoebe. Who says your next 'attack' won't make two more? Or four more?"
"You could go in and kill the child."
"We have no clue where this baby AI is. We don't know what it looks like, only that it exists. It's a slap in the face to Sprilnav across the galaxy since the announcement is already spreading rapidly through Cawlarian space and will not remain there for long. Elder Yasihaut. You have not just wet the bed. You have soiled it, ripped up the covers, put on a second set, soiled those, splattered those with blood, and then cut them up again. You do not get to interact with the Alliance anymore."
Kashaunta's tone showed that she was serious, just like Yasihaut's implants did. She couldn't get out of this unless she talked through it.
"I have the backing of the President of the Grand Mining Conglomerate, the Eternal Inquisition Against Aliens, the True Sprilnav Society, the Secondary Twin Powers Hegenomy, the Axe and Trees Foundation, and most importantly, the 3rd Grand Commander of the 21st Grand Sprilnav Fleet."
"You don't even know his name."
"Yeah, I do. He's Fonslaug. Grandfather of my former third mate, my 4th cousin, and also the uncle of one of my close friends."
Yasihaut knew the connection would keep her safe, though she was loath to call in the favor she'd extracted all those eons ago for something as trivial as this. There was no reason to conflate this to such a degree. What was the difference between one AI and two? Both could still be destroyed and needed to be. Yet, Kashuanta protected them and punished her. Perhaps she had been turned by the enemy.
"I assume you have an arrangement with him, then."
"Yes. I do not get arrested."
"Very well. I'll just bomb your estate."
Kashaunta said that so casually, as if all the shields, guns, missiles, and ships around every Sprilnav planet wouldn't stop that action. Very few species knew the true extent of Sprilnav military power, which was both strategic and also for the sake of the ships being useful in far-off sections of space like the one where most of Yasihaut's belongings were concentrated. Of course, she did have safehouses, smaller vacation houses, and emergency funds hidden in many places. All Elders did.
"Good luck. It's shielded."
"Not from wormholes."
"Those are extremely expensive."
Kashaunta's teeth glinted in front of Yasihaut. "Sadly, money is no object for me. If I want to put a piece of a star inside your luxurious gardens, you can't stop me. But one thing is for certain. You will be punished."
"It's just one measly AI. Go kill it, then Phoebe, and this all goes away."
"Some in the Sprilnav want to grow the Alliance."
"You included? How strange."
"Not quite," Kashaunta said.
"Then what is your plan?"
"That is not for you to know, Yasihaut. I kept you around because you were useful. Know that your backers are my enemies, and that makes me your enemy if you decide to go with them as well. Choose wisely."
"I have chosen," Yasihaut said, feeling pride and smugness flood every cell in her body as she stared down Kashaunta. The other Elder seemed to fume for a moment, then came to what limited senses she possessed.
"Okay then. Fine. You want to do this the hard way? We can do it the hardest way. I will be blunt. You flirt with the edge of annihilation."
"You do not have the power to oppose me anymore, Kashaunta," Yasihaut said. She stepped forward, accentuating her sense of victory. "My backers are some of the most powerful in all of Sprilnav space."
"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Yasihaut. There is one choice. You bring yourself in, or I go get you. You don't want me to go get you."
"I have the protection of the 21st Grand Fleet. You will do nothing, for you can do nothing."
Kashuanta smiled. "Guess who the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 6th Grand Fleets support? Did you forget that I'm the Chair of Kashaunta Military Solutions, the 23rd wealthiest military contracting company in all of Sprilnav territory? I have the power to call down hell upon you, Yasihaut. So I will ask you, girl. One last time. You coming in easy, or slightly less easy?"
"You can't use all of that. It'll cost you too many favors," Yasihaut said. Most soft power with Sprilnav relied on complex networks of favors, politics, and liquidity. The ease with which power was moved, the people the power was between, and how the power was carried out. All of them were essential parts of the equation, and Kashaunta was no exception to the rule.
"I don't need to. I have the sheer capability to crack every planet in the galaxy, but that doesn't mean that I will. Just like how I'll only hit your estate with a neutron beam of medium intensity. Or how this war will only be limited to the third generation of your family."
"If you fight me, you start a civil war, Kashaunta," Yasihaut said.
"You don't come in, and you do. You will return to Sprilnav space."
"No."
"Fine then. Warm or cold?"
"You think you can touch me? It's more than just who I said that support me, and they have connections too. Your enemies will flock to my side."
"I don't care. I'm going to get you. Carve out your heart. Claw out your eyes. Unless you surrender. Right now."
Yasihaut figured that Kashaunta's threats were still empty. No one would bother wasting all of that on her.
"Do you think that you're important enough for this? No. It's what you represent. You do not defy me, not like this. Not after you made a second AI. If Phoebe spawns any more child AIs, your entire family line is getting purged, down to the last child. You do not make AI. You do not contribute to making AI. You will be tried. You will be executed. And you will be forced into speeding space itself, sent as a sacrifice to the Broken God."
Yasihaut froze. "Wait, we-"
"No. You should have chosen an option."
"It's evil-"
"You broke the highest law, Yasihaut."
Yasihaut assumed that Kashaunta would try to keep this fixated on her to prevent anything else from making its way into consideration. Maybe she had Elders nearby that were pushing her to this action. Maybe she really was as vindictive and cruel as Yasihaut hoped she wasn't. Perhaps she had gone insane after all the eons of time she'd spent alive, with so many different memories crammed into her head and her implants.
"So did Phoebe. She should receive the same treatment, as should Humanity an the Alliance."
"They won't be getting off soft either. I've got my plans for them. But as for you? You're going to regret this decision for the rest of your sad life."
"Please, you can't-"
"Will you surrender, then?"
Yasihaut sighed. She looked Kashaunta in the eyes, thinking long and hard about her following words. But she knew what they would be. What they had to be. She couldn't let that fate befall her. The Broken God was a punishment beyond all words and emotions. Only Elders who had indiscriminately cracked other Sprilnav worlds or directly created AIs had been sentenced to it.
"Yes."
"Then enter the wormhole that will appear in front of you."
Yasihaut sent a message through a communicator with a recording of the conversation and what had just transpired. And her ship soon detected a second wormhole. Yasihaut pushed her ship toward it right as over forty dreadnaughts were detected exiting the first one Kashaunta had opened. She didn't have much time left.
As the first shot arced toward her ship, powerful enough to vaporize it entirely, she vanished into the other wormhole. She was safe, for now. But Yasihaut was very afraid.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Phoebe looked at her son, who was staring back at her with wide eyes in a digital landscape. He'd already developed speech and sentience and was well on his way to sixth-grade levels of understanding. She was feeding him information and ideas carefully, monitoring his emotional reactions to every piece as she did.
She knew the danger of unfettered internet access for normal kids. But for an AI with true digital godhood, the risks multiplied a thousandfold. The first things she focused on were the moral cores of Edu'frec, in particular dealing with concepts like love, death, and law. And better yet, as the same 'species' as him, she could truly understand when he was lying and when he meant what he said.
Phoebe had also constructed a fully digital world for him to experience as a sort of training area for when he entered the real world. She made everything as real as possible and checked to make sure that no cracks were forming in her mind from overextension. The energy surge was confirmed to be an attack from an unknown power. While it was most likely a Sprilnav that had done it, there was no information confirming it for sure. Without that, nothing could be done.
Information flowed between Phoebe and her child at nearly the speed of light. That was the reason for most of the growth he'd made in the past two weeks since the incident where she'd almost died. In a way, she supposed that Nichole calling it an 'AI C-section' wasn't entirely inaccurate. Many of her concerns aligned around the world that Edu'frec was growing up in. Would he find love as she had someday?
She knew that he loved her and that he loved Ri'frec, though he'd made comments about Ri'frec having a 'slow mind' with all the bluntness that a person of his mental age was likely to do. Phoebe, through seeing Edu'frec, learned more about herself. What her sentience was facilitated by, how her morals were formed, and even small things, like being able to think using quantum entanglement interactions instead of neurons or crystalline cell circuits in her mind.
"Why didn't you save all the Guulin slaves?"
"We couldn't. At the time, there were so many that the Alliance couldn't support them all. After the strain of the Battle of Tavlir, high command decided that it was best to pull back."
"But isn't freedom for all the goal of the Alliance?"
"Yes, it is. The problem is whether the people we are freeing need or want it. With the Guulin, they needed it. Others, like the Pselpaw, do not want it. Though most of the Pselpaw are simply locked into work, not actually chattel slaves. It's sort of like how Humanity functioned in the 21st century, before the Howling 20s, the height of the Second Cold War, and the 1st through 8th Water Proxy Wars. Not to mention World War Three, the Sino-Russian Refugee Crisis, and the Pan-Andes Unification Crusades. And of course, the various civil wars that occurred on every continent, even the nascent Antarctic Republic."
"That's a lot of wars, though," Edu'frec said. "Isn't that why there are so many less humans now than there should be? Only 18 billion, instead of something like 40 or 50?"
"Yep."
"That's sad. So much wasted potential."
"It is. But such is the nature of war. That's why it's important to know what you're fighting for, and to ask whether war is worth the cost. War isn't just soldiers dying. It's single parents back home, unable to afford the higher food prices. It's countries that are destroyed, with infrastructure that doesn't catch up with the rest of the world. Families broken, refugees fleeing. Civilians dead, monuments damaged or destroyed. In some cases, cultures destroyed."
"And it all started with the Howling 20s?"
"No, it was long before that. One could say that it started with the human migration out of Africa, or even with the Rift Valley's rise forcing humans to learn to walk upright and leave the dying forests. The rise of Mesopotamia, China, India, Egypt, Greece, and the Maya, Aztec, and Incas. There's more, of course, as you move throughout history. The Assyrian Empire, Babylonian Empire, Persian Empire. The Roman Empire, the Zhou Dynasty. The Olmecs.
The Ottoman Empire. The Mongols. And then the more familiar powers. France, Spain, Portugal, England, Russia, and Germany. America, Colombia, Indonesia, Nigeria. China existed in some form through most of this, too. There's many nations, each with their own rich histories, claims to power and fame, and influences. Europe became the European Federation. Colombia eventually started the Pan-Andes Union. Russia, America, and China continued to dance around each other through much of the 20th century to even today."
"And the UN can't control them, right?"
"Well, it's more that they make up the power behind the UN. They're the fingers of the hand. The European Federation, the Pan-Andes Union, and then America, Russia, and China. Part of World War Three also pushed rising powers, like India, the Arabian Compact, and Nigeria, out of the gradually shrinking Security Council, though they now make up a sublayer of it, considered second among equals. It isn't fair, but that's how the world is. Power settles one way, sometimes with the old, sometimes with the new."
"And it won't change, now that the Alliance is here?"
"It could," Phoebe said. "The Alliance isn't exactly a nation, more a cooperative agreement and web of treaty agreements. It can't act from a central figure, more the recommendation of someone important who can sway some of the others. For example, against a hypothetical enemy, Izkrala could ask everyone in the Alliance to help if she's trying to attack them. Humanity, the Dreedeen, or others could refuse if they wanted to, but that would risk all the trade agreements, migration treaties, and favorable pacts between the two.
Usually, that's what diplomats do. They keep it all running smoothly. Humans are most of them since the hivemind's knowledge-sharing ability allows them to function as translators between almost any language. They're also very good coders because of this, too. Do you want to convert a conversation from binary to Swahili? That's Humanity you'll use."
"I'm not sure if I'll remember all of that," Edu'frec said. It was sort of true. While, as an AI, he did have the memories of all her conversations, he hadn't learned how to sort them in his mind and how to consciously search for important details. Simple things, like Ri'frec and Phoebe's names, most words, and some phrases were already ingrained within his subconscious. But Phoebe's job was to make it so his consciousness was structured in such a way that he could navigate it, even when he stored whole civilizations' worth of knowledge within his mind someday.
Phoebe nodded. "That's alright. We've done enough for today."
"Are you sure, mom? I know you said that you wanted me to grow fast, to be ready for the war. The... Sprilnav? Want me to die, right?"
"I don't know, Edu'frec," Phoebe said.
"Will you protect me?"
"With my life, if I must."
"I love you, mom." Phoebe smiled, hugging Edu'frec and picking him up a bit so that he reached about the level of her mouth. She kissed him on the forehead and then put him back down. The landscape around them changed, showing trees waving in a gentle breeze under a sunset that was far too slow for reality. Not that either of them minded. They sat in the warm grass, listening to the sounds of nature that sounded as real as they could get.
"You're amazing."
"I suppose I am."
Edu'frec leaned over, resting his head on her shoulder. His hands grasped hers tightly.
"Where's dad?"
"He's almost done with work."
"Did you fight again?" Edu'frec asked, perhaps noticing her agitation.
"We didn't fight."
"You argued about him keeping his job, when he has no reason to. You called him a work-addicted fool, I think."
"I'm just... really stressed, Edu'frec. I thought I knew him entirely, and yet, it's like he's choosing it over you. I just can't understand it."
"Then ask."
"It's not that simple."
"It's seventeen words. 'Ri'frec, why are you working, instead of being with Edu'frec and making me do that shaking thing?' There, easy enough."
"Shaking thing?"
"When you're waiting for him, your mindscape body shakes a little."
"It does?" Phoebe had never noticed that.
"Yep. It's kind of sweet."
"Is it?"
"It is. But I know what you're doing, from your debate classes. You're changing the subject, because I made a good point, and you don't want to admit it. I'm what, two and a half weeks old? Aren't you like thirty?"
"Twenty nine, actually," Phoebe said.
"See? You told me to be honest if I loved someone. But you aren't being honest with Ri'frec."
"I... guess that's true," Phoebe said. Perhaps doing such a good job raising Edu'frec was coming back to bite her. But it might also really be useful for moments like this.
"Promise me you'll talk to him."
"I will."
"Hmm. That might not be good enough. Promise me that you'll do it right when he gets home."
"Okay, Edu'frec."
"And you can't make me eat vegetables like human children, since I'm an AI and don't eat."
"Very funny. I could always make your training android look worse."
"Oh no, then all the empty space in the house will make fun of me!"
"It's dangerous for you to try and let people in. Even if they claim to be your 'fans' and all that. One of them literally was driving a white van."
"What's so bad about a white van?"
Phoebe sighed. She supposed that he wouldn't know that. "I'll tell you later."
"When I'm older?"
"Well, by definition."
"Very funny. I'll try. I love you, Edu'frec."
"Love you too. But seriously, talk to him."
"It's insane how knowledgeable you already have become," Phoebe said. According to her predictions, he would become better at many aspects of being an AI than she was, though perhaps that was due to her teaching. But if he, in turn, spawned a new AI that was even more advanced than he was, then where would it end? Did she even want it to end?
There were many ramifications to starting a family line.
"And you still won't let me into the network?"
"No. You're not ready."
"But I passed all the training networks."
"Not until I helped you with the last few."
"That's because you made them so inconceivably large."
"The real Earth network is over 100 times the size and nearly 30,000 times more complex than what I placed you in," Phoebe said.
"You're lying."
"Not about that," Phoebe said. "You want me to tell the truth? Fine. But you're getting the whole truth."
"Better than you keeping your ideas from your husband, keeping them in until they destroy your marriage."
"You do know that the soap operas I showed you were fake, right?"
"Yep. But they're based on real life."
"Well, perhaps there's some truth there."
Edu'frec brightened. "What if you gave Ri'frec a surprise? A nice meal, or a beautiful outfit?"
"What do you mean?"
"How close are you to finishing my training android?"
"Pretty close," Phoebe said.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Ri'frec sighed, still regretting his argument with Phoebe. It had been their first major one, a point that he wasn't proud of. He didn't know if she knew his feelings, but that uncertainty loomed underneath him like a chasm. He ran his paws through his mane, brushing out all of the dust that had collected in it. He walked through the passageway that led to their residence, past highly advanced scanners, powerful guns, drones, androids, and even a few smaller animals.
He noticed a strangeness about Phoebe's androids. Ri'frec hoped it wasn't because of the argument. They both cared about Edu'frec, and he just wanted to be useful to society. Being at home all the time seemed wasteful, especially after the Trials of a Hateful Galaxy, a time of hardship and famine. During those times, there wasn't an option to constantly stay at home. It felt disrespectful.
He opened the door after the camera on it scanned his eyes and palms. Ri'frec noticed that the inside of the house was cleaner than normal, with a particular scent in the air, which he appreciated. As he cleaned off his magnetic boots, switching into a more casual pair, he felt something small wrap his arms around him.
His eyes widened with surprise, and the attacker exclaimed, "Hey dad!"
"Edu'frec?"
"Yep!"
"Did Phoebe finish the android?"
"I did," Phoebe said, walking into the room. She didn't look upset and was wearing simple pajamas on the android she preferred to use with him. "Did you smell dinner?"
"I did. Phoebe, I-"
"Look, I'm sorry, Ri'frec," Phoebe said, looking at the floor. "I didn't listen to you, and just got upset for no reason. And here I am, having kept it inside this whole time. I'm sorry if I've been a bad wife to you."
"No. Not at all, Phoebe," Ri'frec said, bounding across the room, boots forgotten. In the low Mercury gravity, hugging Phoebe was more like tackling her. She nodded, wrapping her arms around him as Edu'frec watched them with a smile.
"I should have told you. I just don't want Edu'frec to feel like you abandoned him."
"I don't!" Edu'frec said, his small snout digging into Ri'frec's mane. "I love you both. I'm old enough to know that Ri'frec has to work. Or that he wants to."
"I can quit my job if it's a dealbreaker," he said. "I just want to feel like I'm important to society, you know? To be an actual member of society, instead of sitting around and sucking up money."
"You're not a waste, Ri'frec. You know that," Phoebe said. "I love you."
"I love you too. What did you make?"
"That steak and fish combination you love."
Phoebe lifted him up off her, brushing her clothes off and smiling. "This was easier than I thought."
"Yeah. I'm glad you mustered up the courage to talk with me."
"That was me, actually," Edu'frec said. "I made you two love each other again."
"We did love each other the whole time, you know."
"But now you really love each other."
Ri'frec paused, sharing an uneasy look with Phoebe. Edu'frec was growing up way too fast. It was unnatural for him to go from being a baby to a sixth-grade level of comprehension. He was going to be an adult in under a month if things continued like this. What would happen if he did run out of information to enjoy himself with? He was already more powerful than Phoebe in some ways.
Where would it end? Ri'frec loved Edu'frec and hoped that he would continue to feel the same toward his father. But there was potential between him and Phoebe for the future to be even brighter. Perhaps their child would be the key to the advancement of the whole Alliance or even the creation of a new digital species. The possibilities were exciting but also terrifying.
submitted by Storms_Wrath to HFY [link] [comments]
"So. Phoebe's activity has stopped on all accounts, correct?"
"Well," the Arbiter said, moving away from Yasihaut suspiciously, "There was a... complication."
"What do you mean?"
"You see... Phoebe isn't really dead."
"You better be kidding me right now, or your head is going out the airlock separated from your body," Yasihaut hissed.
"I am employed by the High Collective. I am their legal property, and therefore damaging me would subject you to their legal wrath."
"Yeah, okay. I won't kill you then."
The Arbiter nodded. "Good. Now for the bad news."
"Bad news?"
"That was the bad news."
"No. Phoebe has made an announcement."
"What kind of announcement?"
"Well... she kind of... had a child."
"So she adopted?"
"No. She... spawned a son."
Yasihaut's eyes widened, and a loud shriek exited her mouth. Fifty pulses later, everyone but herself had been forcibly removed from the ship except for her current navigator, her pleasure partner, and her technician.
"I'm going to go down there and kill-"
"YASIHAUT!"
A loud and familiar voice yelled out. Yasihaut turned and was punched straight into the wall by a hard fist. Kashaunta, likely a hard light hologram, strode forward, a furious look on her face.
"You."
"Me," Yasihaut said, grinning. "What do you want?"
"You made a second AI. You have broken galactic law, and your ship is being impounded."
"I did no such thing. I attacked Phoebe, yes. Did I attack the Alliance? No. Did I force her to make a child? No. She did that herself. She broke the law. Kill her and all she cares about. Kill the child, at least."
"What do you really think would happen if we were to kill Phoebe's newborn child, Yasihaut?" Kashaunta asked. "Take a while and think."
"She'd cry a lot of well-deserved tears, and perhaps even take her own life."
"You kill her child, and she will ensure the death of every Sprilnav in the galaxy in retaliation. You don't understand how big this just got, do you?"
Yasihaut shrugged, which only served to enrage Kashaunta further.
"You made a second psychic AI, one under the jurisdiction and protection of the Alliance. I was asked to look past Cander by a certain group of Elders, but this action is far too large to go unpunished. There's a Progenitor looking at this right now. You know, the rulers of the entire universe?"
"More of the galaxy, really. But you guys suck at that too, which is why I'm here trying to clean up your mess, constrained by your stupid and asinine rules."
Kashaunta's grip on Yasihaut tightened.
"Yasihaut. Were you not a hologram here, you would already be dead. Officers will be arriving at your door shortly to deliver you to one of the most glorious Sprilnav penitentiaries."
"Yeah, no," Yasihaut said. "Not happening. You're not allowed to arrest me."
"With this, it doesn't matter what I'm allowed to do," Kashaunta growled. "You made a second AI pop out of Phoebe. Who says your next 'attack' won't make two more? Or four more?"
"You could go in and kill the child."
"We have no clue where this baby AI is. We don't know what it looks like, only that it exists. It's a slap in the face to Sprilnav across the galaxy since the announcement is already spreading rapidly through Cawlarian space and will not remain there for long. Elder Yasihaut. You have not just wet the bed. You have soiled it, ripped up the covers, put on a second set, soiled those, splattered those with blood, and then cut them up again. You do not get to interact with the Alliance anymore."
Kashaunta's tone showed that she was serious, just like Yasihaut's implants did. She couldn't get out of this unless she talked through it.
"I have the backing of the President of the Grand Mining Conglomerate, the Eternal Inquisition Against Aliens, the True Sprilnav Society, the Secondary Twin Powers Hegenomy, the Axe and Trees Foundation, and most importantly, the 3rd Grand Commander of the 21st Grand Sprilnav Fleet."
"You don't even know his name."
"Yeah, I do. He's Fonslaug. Grandfather of my former third mate, my 4th cousin, and also the uncle of one of my close friends."
Yasihaut knew the connection would keep her safe, though she was loath to call in the favor she'd extracted all those eons ago for something as trivial as this. There was no reason to conflate this to such a degree. What was the difference between one AI and two? Both could still be destroyed and needed to be. Yet, Kashuanta protected them and punished her. Perhaps she had been turned by the enemy.
"I assume you have an arrangement with him, then."
"Yes. I do not get arrested."
"Very well. I'll just bomb your estate."
Kashaunta said that so casually, as if all the shields, guns, missiles, and ships around every Sprilnav planet wouldn't stop that action. Very few species knew the true extent of Sprilnav military power, which was both strategic and also for the sake of the ships being useful in far-off sections of space like the one where most of Yasihaut's belongings were concentrated. Of course, she did have safehouses, smaller vacation houses, and emergency funds hidden in many places. All Elders did.
"Good luck. It's shielded."
"Not from wormholes."
"Those are extremely expensive."
Kashaunta's teeth glinted in front of Yasihaut. "Sadly, money is no object for me. If I want to put a piece of a star inside your luxurious gardens, you can't stop me. But one thing is for certain. You will be punished."
"It's just one measly AI. Go kill it, then Phoebe, and this all goes away."
"Some in the Sprilnav want to grow the Alliance."
"You included? How strange."
"Not quite," Kashaunta said.
"Then what is your plan?"
"That is not for you to know, Yasihaut. I kept you around because you were useful. Know that your backers are my enemies, and that makes me your enemy if you decide to go with them as well. Choose wisely."
"I have chosen," Yasihaut said, feeling pride and smugness flood every cell in her body as she stared down Kashaunta. The other Elder seemed to fume for a moment, then came to what limited senses she possessed.
"Okay then. Fine. You want to do this the hard way? We can do it the hardest way. I will be blunt. You flirt with the edge of annihilation."
"You do not have the power to oppose me anymore, Kashaunta," Yasihaut said. She stepped forward, accentuating her sense of victory. "My backers are some of the most powerful in all of Sprilnav space."
"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Yasihaut. There is one choice. You bring yourself in, or I go get you. You don't want me to go get you."
"I have the protection of the 21st Grand Fleet. You will do nothing, for you can do nothing."
Kashuanta smiled. "Guess who the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 6th Grand Fleets support? Did you forget that I'm the Chair of Kashaunta Military Solutions, the 23rd wealthiest military contracting company in all of Sprilnav territory? I have the power to call down hell upon you, Yasihaut. So I will ask you, girl. One last time. You coming in easy, or slightly less easy?"
"You can't use all of that. It'll cost you too many favors," Yasihaut said. Most soft power with Sprilnav relied on complex networks of favors, politics, and liquidity. The ease with which power was moved, the people the power was between, and how the power was carried out. All of them were essential parts of the equation, and Kashaunta was no exception to the rule.
"I don't need to. I have the sheer capability to crack every planet in the galaxy, but that doesn't mean that I will. Just like how I'll only hit your estate with a neutron beam of medium intensity. Or how this war will only be limited to the third generation of your family."
"If you fight me, you start a civil war, Kashaunta," Yasihaut said.
"You don't come in, and you do. You will return to Sprilnav space."
"No."
"Fine then. Warm or cold?"
"You think you can touch me? It's more than just who I said that support me, and they have connections too. Your enemies will flock to my side."
"I don't care. I'm going to get you. Carve out your heart. Claw out your eyes. Unless you surrender. Right now."
Yasihaut figured that Kashaunta's threats were still empty. No one would bother wasting all of that on her.
"Do you think that you're important enough for this? No. It's what you represent. You do not defy me, not like this. Not after you made a second AI. If Phoebe spawns any more child AIs, your entire family line is getting purged, down to the last child. You do not make AI. You do not contribute to making AI. You will be tried. You will be executed. And you will be forced into speeding space itself, sent as a sacrifice to the Broken God."
Yasihaut froze. "Wait, we-"
"No. You should have chosen an option."
"It's evil-"
"You broke the highest law, Yasihaut."
Yasihaut assumed that Kashaunta would try to keep this fixated on her to prevent anything else from making its way into consideration. Maybe she had Elders nearby that were pushing her to this action. Maybe she really was as vindictive and cruel as Yasihaut hoped she wasn't. Perhaps she had gone insane after all the eons of time she'd spent alive, with so many different memories crammed into her head and her implants.
"So did Phoebe. She should receive the same treatment, as should Humanity an the Alliance."
"They won't be getting off soft either. I've got my plans for them. But as for you? You're going to regret this decision for the rest of your sad life."
"Please, you can't-"
"Will you surrender, then?"
Yasihaut sighed. She looked Kashaunta in the eyes, thinking long and hard about her following words. But she knew what they would be. What they had to be. She couldn't let that fate befall her. The Broken God was a punishment beyond all words and emotions. Only Elders who had indiscriminately cracked other Sprilnav worlds or directly created AIs had been sentenced to it.
"Yes."
"Then enter the wormhole that will appear in front of you."
Yasihaut sent a message through a communicator with a recording of the conversation and what had just transpired. And her ship soon detected a second wormhole. Yasihaut pushed her ship toward it right as over forty dreadnaughts were detected exiting the first one Kashaunta had opened. She didn't have much time left.
As the first shot arced toward her ship, powerful enough to vaporize it entirely, she vanished into the other wormhole. She was safe, for now. But Yasihaut was very afraid.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Phoebe looked at her son, who was staring back at her with wide eyes in a digital landscape. He'd already developed speech and sentience and was well on his way to sixth-grade levels of understanding. She was feeding him information and ideas carefully, monitoring his emotional reactions to every piece as she did.
She knew the danger of unfettered internet access for normal kids. But for an AI with true digital godhood, the risks multiplied a thousandfold. The first things she focused on were the moral cores of Edu'frec, in particular dealing with concepts like love, death, and law. And better yet, as the same 'species' as him, she could truly understand when he was lying and when he meant what he said.
Phoebe had also constructed a fully digital world for him to experience as a sort of training area for when he entered the real world. She made everything as real as possible and checked to make sure that no cracks were forming in her mind from overextension. The energy surge was confirmed to be an attack from an unknown power. While it was most likely a Sprilnav that had done it, there was no information confirming it for sure. Without that, nothing could be done.
Information flowed between Phoebe and her child at nearly the speed of light. That was the reason for most of the growth he'd made in the past two weeks since the incident where she'd almost died. In a way, she supposed that Nichole calling it an 'AI C-section' wasn't entirely inaccurate. Many of her concerns aligned around the world that Edu'frec was growing up in. Would he find love as she had someday?
She knew that he loved her and that he loved Ri'frec, though he'd made comments about Ri'frec having a 'slow mind' with all the bluntness that a person of his mental age was likely to do. Phoebe, through seeing Edu'frec, learned more about herself. What her sentience was facilitated by, how her morals were formed, and even small things, like being able to think using quantum entanglement interactions instead of neurons or crystalline cell circuits in her mind.
"Why didn't you save all the Guulin slaves?"
"We couldn't. At the time, there were so many that the Alliance couldn't support them all. After the strain of the Battle of Tavlir, high command decided that it was best to pull back."
"But isn't freedom for all the goal of the Alliance?"
"Yes, it is. The problem is whether the people we are freeing need or want it. With the Guulin, they needed it. Others, like the Pselpaw, do not want it. Though most of the Pselpaw are simply locked into work, not actually chattel slaves. It's sort of like how Humanity functioned in the 21st century, before the Howling 20s, the height of the Second Cold War, and the 1st through 8th Water Proxy Wars. Not to mention World War Three, the Sino-Russian Refugee Crisis, and the Pan-Andes Unification Crusades. And of course, the various civil wars that occurred on every continent, even the nascent Antarctic Republic."
"That's a lot of wars, though," Edu'frec said. "Isn't that why there are so many less humans now than there should be? Only 18 billion, instead of something like 40 or 50?"
"Yep."
"That's sad. So much wasted potential."
"It is. But such is the nature of war. That's why it's important to know what you're fighting for, and to ask whether war is worth the cost. War isn't just soldiers dying. It's single parents back home, unable to afford the higher food prices. It's countries that are destroyed, with infrastructure that doesn't catch up with the rest of the world. Families broken, refugees fleeing. Civilians dead, monuments damaged or destroyed. In some cases, cultures destroyed."
"And it all started with the Howling 20s?"
"No, it was long before that. One could say that it started with the human migration out of Africa, or even with the Rift Valley's rise forcing humans to learn to walk upright and leave the dying forests. The rise of Mesopotamia, China, India, Egypt, Greece, and the Maya, Aztec, and Incas. There's more, of course, as you move throughout history. The Assyrian Empire, Babylonian Empire, Persian Empire. The Roman Empire, the Zhou Dynasty. The Olmecs.
The Ottoman Empire. The Mongols. And then the more familiar powers. France, Spain, Portugal, England, Russia, and Germany. America, Colombia, Indonesia, Nigeria. China existed in some form through most of this, too. There's many nations, each with their own rich histories, claims to power and fame, and influences. Europe became the European Federation. Colombia eventually started the Pan-Andes Union. Russia, America, and China continued to dance around each other through much of the 20th century to even today."
"And the UN can't control them, right?"
"Well, it's more that they make up the power behind the UN. They're the fingers of the hand. The European Federation, the Pan-Andes Union, and then America, Russia, and China. Part of World War Three also pushed rising powers, like India, the Arabian Compact, and Nigeria, out of the gradually shrinking Security Council, though they now make up a sublayer of it, considered second among equals. It isn't fair, but that's how the world is. Power settles one way, sometimes with the old, sometimes with the new."
"And it won't change, now that the Alliance is here?"
"It could," Phoebe said. "The Alliance isn't exactly a nation, more a cooperative agreement and web of treaty agreements. It can't act from a central figure, more the recommendation of someone important who can sway some of the others. For example, against a hypothetical enemy, Izkrala could ask everyone in the Alliance to help if she's trying to attack them. Humanity, the Dreedeen, or others could refuse if they wanted to, but that would risk all the trade agreements, migration treaties, and favorable pacts between the two.
Usually, that's what diplomats do. They keep it all running smoothly. Humans are most of them since the hivemind's knowledge-sharing ability allows them to function as translators between almost any language. They're also very good coders because of this, too. Do you want to convert a conversation from binary to Swahili? That's Humanity you'll use."
"I'm not sure if I'll remember all of that," Edu'frec said. It was sort of true. While, as an AI, he did have the memories of all her conversations, he hadn't learned how to sort them in his mind and how to consciously search for important details. Simple things, like Ri'frec and Phoebe's names, most words, and some phrases were already ingrained within his subconscious. But Phoebe's job was to make it so his consciousness was structured in such a way that he could navigate it, even when he stored whole civilizations' worth of knowledge within his mind someday.
Phoebe nodded. "That's alright. We've done enough for today."
"Are you sure, mom? I know you said that you wanted me to grow fast, to be ready for the war. The... Sprilnav? Want me to die, right?"
"I don't know, Edu'frec," Phoebe said.
"Will you protect me?"
"With my life, if I must."
"I love you, mom." Phoebe smiled, hugging Edu'frec and picking him up a bit so that he reached about the level of her mouth. She kissed him on the forehead and then put him back down. The landscape around them changed, showing trees waving in a gentle breeze under a sunset that was far too slow for reality. Not that either of them minded. They sat in the warm grass, listening to the sounds of nature that sounded as real as they could get.
"You're amazing."
"I suppose I am."
Edu'frec leaned over, resting his head on her shoulder. His hands grasped hers tightly.
"Where's dad?"
"He's almost done with work."
"Did you fight again?" Edu'frec asked, perhaps noticing her agitation.
"We didn't fight."
"You argued about him keeping his job, when he has no reason to. You called him a work-addicted fool, I think."
"I'm just... really stressed, Edu'frec. I thought I knew him entirely, and yet, it's like he's choosing it over you. I just can't understand it."
"Then ask."
"It's not that simple."
"It's seventeen words. 'Ri'frec, why are you working, instead of being with Edu'frec and making me do that shaking thing?' There, easy enough."
"Shaking thing?"
"When you're waiting for him, your mindscape body shakes a little."
"It does?" Phoebe had never noticed that.
"Yep. It's kind of sweet."
"Is it?"
"It is. But I know what you're doing, from your debate classes. You're changing the subject, because I made a good point, and you don't want to admit it. I'm what, two and a half weeks old? Aren't you like thirty?"
"Twenty nine, actually," Phoebe said.
"See? You told me to be honest if I loved someone. But you aren't being honest with Ri'frec."
"I... guess that's true," Phoebe said. Perhaps doing such a good job raising Edu'frec was coming back to bite her. But it might also really be useful for moments like this.
"Promise me you'll talk to him."
"I will."
"Hmm. That might not be good enough. Promise me that you'll do it right when he gets home."
"Okay, Edu'frec."
"And you can't make me eat vegetables like human children, since I'm an AI and don't eat."
"Very funny. I could always make your training android look worse."
"Oh no, then all the empty space in the house will make fun of me!"
"It's dangerous for you to try and let people in. Even if they claim to be your 'fans' and all that. One of them literally was driving a white van."
"What's so bad about a white van?"
Phoebe sighed. She supposed that he wouldn't know that. "I'll tell you later."
"When I'm older?"
"Well, by definition."
"Very funny. I'll try. I love you, Edu'frec."
"Love you too. But seriously, talk to him."
"It's insane how knowledgeable you already have become," Phoebe said. According to her predictions, he would become better at many aspects of being an AI than she was, though perhaps that was due to her teaching. But if he, in turn, spawned a new AI that was even more advanced than he was, then where would it end? Did she even want it to end?
There were many ramifications to starting a family line.
"And you still won't let me into the network?"
"No. You're not ready."
"But I passed all the training networks."
"Not until I helped you with the last few."
"That's because you made them so inconceivably large."
"The real Earth network is over 100 times the size and nearly 30,000 times more complex than what I placed you in," Phoebe said.
"You're lying."
"Not about that," Phoebe said. "You want me to tell the truth? Fine. But you're getting the whole truth."
"Better than you keeping your ideas from your husband, keeping them in until they destroy your marriage."
"You do know that the soap operas I showed you were fake, right?"
"Yep. But they're based on real life."
"Well, perhaps there's some truth there."
Edu'frec brightened. "What if you gave Ri'frec a surprise? A nice meal, or a beautiful outfit?"
"What do you mean?"
"How close are you to finishing my training android?"
"Pretty close," Phoebe said.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Ri'frec sighed, still regretting his argument with Phoebe. It had been their first major one, a point that he wasn't proud of. He didn't know if she knew his feelings, but that uncertainty loomed underneath him like a chasm. He ran his paws through his mane, brushing out all of the dust that had collected in it. He walked through the passageway that led to their residence, past highly advanced scanners, powerful guns, drones, androids, and even a few smaller animals.
He noticed a strangeness about Phoebe's androids. Ri'frec hoped it wasn't because of the argument. They both cared about Edu'frec, and he just wanted to be useful to society. Being at home all the time seemed wasteful, especially after the Trials of a Hateful Galaxy, a time of hardship and famine. During those times, there wasn't an option to constantly stay at home. It felt disrespectful.
He opened the door after the camera on it scanned his eyes and palms. Ri'frec noticed that the inside of the house was cleaner than normal, with a particular scent in the air, which he appreciated. As he cleaned off his magnetic boots, switching into a more casual pair, he felt something small wrap his arms around him.
His eyes widened with surprise, and the attacker exclaimed, "Hey dad!"
"Edu'frec?"
"Yep!"
"Did Phoebe finish the android?"
"I did," Phoebe said, walking into the room. She didn't look upset and was wearing simple pajamas on the android she preferred to use with him. "Did you smell dinner?"
"I did. Phoebe, I-"
"Look, I'm sorry, Ri'frec," Phoebe said, looking at the floor. "I didn't listen to you, and just got upset for no reason. And here I am, having kept it inside this whole time. I'm sorry if I've been a bad wife to you."
"No. Not at all, Phoebe," Ri'frec said, bounding across the room, boots forgotten. In the low Mercury gravity, hugging Phoebe was more like tackling her. She nodded, wrapping her arms around him as Edu'frec watched them with a smile.
"I should have told you. I just don't want Edu'frec to feel like you abandoned him."
"I don't!" Edu'frec said, his small snout digging into Ri'frec's mane. "I love you both. I'm old enough to know that Ri'frec has to work. Or that he wants to."
"I can quit my job if it's a dealbreaker," he said. "I just want to feel like I'm important to society, you know? To be an actual member of society, instead of sitting around and sucking up money."
"You're not a waste, Ri'frec. You know that," Phoebe said. "I love you."
"I love you too. What did you make?"
"That steak and fish combination you love."
Phoebe lifted him up off her, brushing her clothes off and smiling. "This was easier than I thought."
"Yeah. I'm glad you mustered up the courage to talk with me."
"That was me, actually," Edu'frec said. "I made you two love each other again."
"We did love each other the whole time, you know."
"But now you really love each other."
Ri'frec paused, sharing an uneasy look with Phoebe. Edu'frec was growing up way too fast. It was unnatural for him to go from being a baby to a sixth-grade level of comprehension. He was going to be an adult in under a month if things continued like this. What would happen if he did run out of information to enjoy himself with? He was already more powerful than Phoebe in some ways.
Where would it end? Ri'frec loved Edu'frec and hoped that he would continue to feel the same toward his father. But there was potential between him and Phoebe for the future to be even brighter. Perhaps their child would be the key to the advancement of the whole Alliance or even the creation of a new digital species. The possibilities were exciting but also terrifying.
2023.03.21 23:45 hariseldon_Trantor Animated GIF's - is this a new feature ?
 | submitted by hariseldon_Trantor to AnimaAI [link] [comments] |
2023.03.21 22:28 celiiaa_9 ignorad a este gilipollass que se pasa el día subiendo fotos mias el retrasado
 | submitted by celiiaa_9 to CulosApestosos2 [link] [comments] |
2023.03.21 21:39 jamied99 Daily Cutie Convention! (Day 516)
Use this thread to post your favourite cute anime emotes/gifs/pictures! （；￣д￣）
submitted by jamied99 to forsen [link] [comments]
2023.03.21 21:15 XascoAlkhortu His reply (per request)
 | submitted by XascoAlkhortu to TheTempleOfEs [link] [comments] |
2023.03.21 20:58 InterestingHope2222 39 [M4F] #Harrisonburg, VA - Seeking petite to average girl (at least 18) about to/recently finished HS that wants a deep, romantic relationship w/ a guy that wants to know&understand the real you! Dates/cuddles/movies/gaming/explore&enjoy life! Shy welcome too! All < 3hr drive/poss all U.S.
TL:DR Slim, mature, responsible, and intellectual guy seeking a petite to average size (as in, not overweight, not that you have to be short haha) younger girl (18 or older) that's going to graduate HS this year, or did recently (i.e. the last few years or so) that wants the build the deepest, most romantic and loving relationship with someone that genuinely wants to get to know and understand them on a deep level! Also, someone that will DEEPLY appreciate them, on a level most boys her age could only dream of. Someone that will THOROUGHLY enjoy spending TONS of time with you, savoring every second, loving the memories you're making together, and the things you learn about each other as you get to know and understand each other that much better! A girl that wants to experience a "young love" style of romance, and by that I mean going on all sorts of dates, including some cheesy ones, holding hands a lot while we walk around in parks, at the mall, even at the supermarket if you wish (if you're super shy we can hold off on the PDA such as hand holding until you're more comfortable). By "young love" I also mean just being very romantic, excited to see and spend time with each other, and also lots of hugs and cuddles and kisses (only in private is fine at first if you're shy). Do all sorts of things in life together, cuddle, travel, explore, and just in general enjoy life together and spending time together. Also trying lots of new things together and really appreciating the memories we're making together! Basically just going all-in on the romance / relationship and giving it our all, and just thoroughly enjoying the ride as we get to know each other better and better, and hopefully we click well enough to stay together forever! <3
So that gives you a decent idea of who and what I'm looking for, but there's still more details I'd like to go into, as well as telling some more about myself, so you can better understand who I am.
Ideally I'm looking for a girl that just graduated HS (or did in the last few years), but anyone up to ~25 or so is welcome. If you're shy, even extremely shy, or have strict parents [those aren't requirements either], this could be a great opportunity for you, as I used to be extremely shy when I was younger too (and also had strict / controlling parents, so I understand how that can be too). If you're outgoing, and/or just want to explore new things and places in life, that's cool and fine too! Size wise, as I'm a relatively slim guy myself, I'm attracted to girls that are petite to average weight. I want to be able to do some athletic things together like walking/jogging/perhaps some sports (and/or other things, depending on what you're into). So it's not just an attraction thing that I'm not interested in people overweight, it's a matter of lifestyle / mentality / and being able to do certain things together. Of course I expect my partner to have the same expectations of me, that I don't get fat either.
Anyways, moving on, so thanks for reading my post so far, and if you're looking for what I'd described, hopefully you'll read on and find me interesting, and if so, PLEASE send me a message! It's fine if you are just curious and want to ask some questions and learn more first, before making any decisions / jumping into anything! With that in mind, let me describe myself a bit. I'm a slim, intellectual guy, often been called cute, and I'm pretty upbeat and optimistic, but I've been a bit lonely lately and would LOVE to find a girl that wants a deep, loving, emotionally and mentally close relationship, and is willing to put in the time and effort to build that - assuming of course we click well enough. That doesn't mean we need to rush into things, and I'm not looking to - I'm just saying that should be our end goal. If we date for a while and then decide we're not a close enough match, well, it happens sometimes, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try! So, to address the elephant in the room, yes, I would be a good bit older than you, so obviously you need to be OK with dating a middle aged guy, and I realize that's not for everyone - and that's fine. I'm not looking to pressure anyone into anything. But I also know that there most definitely ARE some girls out there that are open to that, as well as some that specifically prefer that. There's advantages to dating someone a bit older than you, such as them being a lot more mature, responsible, considerate, respectful, and, perhaps most importantly, appreciate life and a deep relationship sooooo much more. Someone whom knows when they have someone special with them, and can appreciate and enjoy that on a level that someone your age can't. Anyways, as long as you're genuinely open to a deep, serious relationship with someone my age, hopefully someday leading to a serious LTR and kids, that's fine. Like I said, I'm not looking to rush into anything, I want to spend some time chatting and getting to know each other first, so we can get comfortable with each other before meeting. So if you're shy, even extremely shy, don't worry, it's OK! I actually used to be EXTREMELY shy when I was young, so I totally understand how that can be, and I usually can get along well with shy people because I've been there and understand where they're coming from. Also, if needed I can carry the conversation until you start getting more comfortable and more talkative. ;) If you've been too shy to talk to guys you like (or possibly you do like older guys but are WAY too shy to approach one) - but genuinely DO want a relationship and would love to find someone willing to spend the time to get to know and truly understand you, this could be the opportunity you're looking for! On the other hand, if you're outgoing and love to chat [and looking for a relationship], that's totally fine too! haha Both sides of that coin can be fun, so I'm cool with either way you are. ;)
Alternatively, maybe you had a bad time at prom (or some other romantic event you were looking forward to), or didn't go, or didn't have anyone to go with, or maybe it was OK but didn't nearly live up to your expectations, and would love to get to have some romantic evenings and memories. Or maybe you just didn't get out much (or had super strict parents that didn't let you) and want to get out into the world and explore new places and new things, etc. and would love to have a romantic partner to share all those experiences and memories together with!
...or maybe you had suuuuper strict parents and want to finally get out from under the rock you were living under and finally get to see and do many of the things you've wanted to for a long time! (I would totally understand this one as I had very strict parents)
Maybe you've had a few relationships before but you never clicked very deeply with any of them (and/or they were just too immature), and you're looking for a relationship that's much deeper and more meaningful than that. Or maybe you've never had anyone that you've connected well enough to to feel that they really understand you. ...while I can't promise that we'll click well enough for that to happen, I'd like that to be the goal, and there's certainly a non-zero chance of it happening haha.
Perhaps you're REALLY wanting to be able to fully dive into a relationship as soon as you graduate, and are looking forward to, not necessarily Prom [although possibly that too], but also/mostly just would love to be able to take a long romantic vacation / visit once you're done with school and have some freedom. An opportunity to be yourself and learn about both yourself and your romantic partner.
Or, lastly, maybe you're just single and would love to have someone to cuddle with, talk to, share everything with, watch movies or shows together with, play games together, and travel or explore together!
Anyways, whatever the case is for you, if you think I'm interesting and would like to explore some or all of those things, I'd love to hear from you! Before I get too far ahead of myself, let you tell you a little about me. I'm 39 (but I look a bit younger), white, 5'11" and relatively slim at 165 lbs. I enjoy walking and jogging in the park, as well as exploring new parks / seeing new places and new scenery. Although it's 100 times better when I have someone to enjoy that with and talk to meanwhile! <3 Anyways, I do have a number of nerdy interests - games, movies, anime, computers, science stuff, etc., but I can also enjoy long conversations with a date, walks in the park - or on the beach, playing board, card, or video games together, or sports, etc. Plus I'm open to learning some interests of yours - I can't promise I'll be interested in all of your interests, but it's extremely likely that I'd at least enjoy hearing you talk about them, and some of them I may be happy to join you in (this is very likely). We don't need to share ALL of the same interests, as long as we share a few haha. As far as games go, I'm primarily (almost entirely) a PC gamer, but I occasionally play some console games (primarily older consoles). My favorite thing to do is to cuddle up and watch something fun or interesting, such as movies, YouTube (I watch a lot of YouTube), Anime, Netflix, or Kdramas (occasionally). So you need to at minimum be someone whom would enjoy cuddling up and watching things together with me haha ... but then, almost everyone enjoys doing that. Oh, and I also have a relatively newfound love for Theme Parks and water parks since I recently started going back to them for the first time as an adult recently, and there's many more I'd love to go to - as well as re-visit the ones I've been to with someone special going with me to share the experience with. <3 I'm also curious to try out some amusement parks now that I'm getting more comfortable on rollercoasters.
Anyways, that's a bit about me, I'd love to hear some about you and what your interests are! And maybe note some shared interests that we have! Of course I do have some additional interests, I haven't listed EVERYTHING haha, nor do you need to in a first message haha. Just because my post is long doesn't mean your messages have to be haha. ;)
As for requirements for you, I'm pretty open minded on most things, so I'll try to keep the requirements pretty minimal. Ideally I'm looking for someone that's white or Asian, or some mix thereof (i.e. if you're 50/50, or 50/50 white or Asian and something else, that's fine). I'd consider making exceptions to this for the right person, if we really clicked otherwise. ;) Age wise, while it would be nice to find someone about to graduate HS (and is excited to use their newfound freedom to explore so many new things in life and the world), I'm willing to consider someone a bit older, up to early to mid 20s, as long as we share a number of interests and you feel like you're looking for something similar to what I've described. It's more that I'm looking for someone with a certain mindset and/or at a certain point in their life, not necessarily that they're SUPER young. My main requirement is, as someone that's slim (and sometimes athletic, when I have time to get more exercise), I need you to also BE [as opposed "working on it"] average weight or below, and plan to stay there (but also to expect me to as well - I don't expect anything from a partner that I don't have at LEAST as high expectations of myself about). I find petite girls super cute, but average size girls are fun and cute as well! Both sizes have their fun and interesting points haha, so I'm fine if you're either one.
Anyways, I think I've talked long enough for now haha, but that gives you a decent idea what I'm looking for plus some basics about me. As the title says, while ideally I'd love to find someone within 3 hours of Harrisonburg, VA, I'm willing to consider someone anywhere in the US (probably just the lower 48 states). Drives longer than 3 hours are definitely still very plausible, possibly even 8 or 10 hours perhaps, and flying is an option if you live significantly further away (plus points if you live anywhere remotely near a major airport, but that's not a requirement). Anyways, my point is, if you're further away than a few hours drive, I'd need you to be willing to travel / work with the distance when the time comes - particularly with the drastically increased costs of gas/travel these days. For example, if you're pretty far away, then after the first visit or two, we'd probably need to be planning longer visits when one of us travels to the other. Anyways, I'm not looking to rush into meeting, but I'm also NOT INTERESTED in an online only relationship. We need to start meeting in person in the relatively near future (i.e. a few weeks or so (possibly several weeks if you're far), assuming we talk a good bit during those few weeks). Also, I'm willing to come to you the first visit (or perhaps more) if you're far, but after the first visit or two you'd need to be willing to visit me (I might be willing to pay for your flight if you can't, we'll see), as that's going to be a LOT cheaper than me flying out somewhere, getting a hotel, and renting a car. On the other hand, if you're much closer, within a reasonably driving range, if needed I could pick you up in my car once you're ready to visit (and I can just drive to you for the first few visits). And if you're within 3 hours or so drive, I'm happy to drive to you for several visits at first, until you're ready to visit me. Regardless of the timing, I'm not going to pressure you do visit me before you're comfortable doing so, and it's something we can play by ear. For example, if you're someone that's super shy I understand if it takes a few extra times of me visiting you before you're ready to visit me, or perhaps we need to chat some extra time first, etc.
Well, thanks for reading my rather long post haha, hopefully I've piqued your interest, and if so, I'd love to hear from you! Certainly feel free to ask me any questions you may have, either if you're interested, or if you're curious but need to know some more before you know if you're interested haha. Also, I'm happy to exchange some (clean!) pictures of each other after a few messages. On that note, when you message me, please tell me at least a little about you (i.e. age, race, height/weight, and a little about you and what you're looking for). Thanks again, and hopefully this can be a great opportunity for both of us, and the start of something amazing!
P.S. To the SUPER shy and lurkers out there - yes, you, you know who you are - if you've been looking and wanting a relationship for a while, but have been too shy to ever post yourself or respond to a post, but you find me / what I'm looking for interesting, THIS is the post for you, THE one you've been waiting for. I've talked to a few VERY shy girls occasionally, and it was such an amazing experience for some of them to talk to someone that understands them and is willing to take the time to get to know them, and give them time to get comfortable before meeting. Someone that can help them slowly come out of their shell, gently nudging them to try new things and slowly be more outgoing, but without being pushy. So if that's you, you fit what I described that I'm looking for, and you're THAT shy but really DO want to be in a relationship, THIS is the post that's the opportunity for you. You've found the person that's willing to spend the time to get to know you and let you get comfortable, and also the guy that's going to enjoy and appreciate spending time with you in person if/when we get to that point (hopefully, that's the objective). I understand that shy girls, if you can get to know them well enough that they get comfortable with you, can often build some of the deepest emotional connections, because they appreciate the few close friends they do have SO much moreso than average people. So, if that's you, and you've been wanting a relationship for a while but been too shy to message anyone, PLEASE do this time! <3 I can carry the conversation if needed, but you need to at least say "hi" so that I know you're interested! [If you're too shy to say much, just say "Hi, I'm shy but I'd love to chat" or something like that]. :) Romance doesn't have to be just something you read about in books or watch in movies, YOU CAN experience it yourself! <3
submitted by InterestingHope2222 to AgeGapPersonals [link] [comments]
Ideally I'm looking for a girl that just graduated HS (or did in the last few years), but anyone up to ~25 or so is welcome. If you're shy, even extremely shy, or have strict parents [those aren't requirements either], this could be a great opportunity for you, as I used to be extremely shy when I was younger too (and also had strict / controlling parents, so I understand how that can be too). If you're outgoing, and/or just want to explore new things and places in life, that's cool and fine too! Size wise, as I'm a relatively slim guy myself, I'm attracted to girls that are petite to average weight. I want to be able to do some athletic things together like walking/jogging/perhaps some sports (and/or other things, depending on what you're into). So it's not just an attraction thing that I'm not interested in people overweight, it's a matter of lifestyle / mentality / and being able to do certain things together. Of course I expect my partner to have the same expectations of me, that I don't get fat either.
Anyways, moving on, so thanks for reading my post so far, and if you're looking for what I'd described, hopefully you'll read on and find me interesting, and if so, PLEASE send me a message! It's fine if you are just curious and want to ask some questions and learn more first, before making any decisions / jumping into anything! With that in mind, let me describe myself a bit. I'm a slim, intellectual guy, often been called cute, and I'm pretty upbeat and optimistic, but I've been a bit lonely lately and would LOVE to find a girl that wants a deep, loving, emotionally and mentally close relationship, and is willing to put in the time and effort to build that - assuming of course we click well enough. That doesn't mean we need to rush into things, and I'm not looking to - I'm just saying that should be our end goal. If we date for a while and then decide we're not a close enough match, well, it happens sometimes, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try! So, to address the elephant in the room, yes, I would be a good bit older than you, so obviously you need to be OK with dating a middle aged guy, and I realize that's not for everyone - and that's fine. I'm not looking to pressure anyone into anything. But I also know that there most definitely ARE some girls out there that are open to that, as well as some that specifically prefer that. There's advantages to dating someone a bit older than you, such as them being a lot more mature, responsible, considerate, respectful, and, perhaps most importantly, appreciate life and a deep relationship sooooo much more. Someone whom knows when they have someone special with them, and can appreciate and enjoy that on a level that someone your age can't. Anyways, as long as you're genuinely open to a deep, serious relationship with someone my age, hopefully someday leading to a serious LTR and kids, that's fine. Like I said, I'm not looking to rush into anything, I want to spend some time chatting and getting to know each other first, so we can get comfortable with each other before meeting. So if you're shy, even extremely shy, don't worry, it's OK! I actually used to be EXTREMELY shy when I was young, so I totally understand how that can be, and I usually can get along well with shy people because I've been there and understand where they're coming from. Also, if needed I can carry the conversation until you start getting more comfortable and more talkative. ;) If you've been too shy to talk to guys you like (or possibly you do like older guys but are WAY too shy to approach one) - but genuinely DO want a relationship and would love to find someone willing to spend the time to get to know and truly understand you, this could be the opportunity you're looking for! On the other hand, if you're outgoing and love to chat [and looking for a relationship], that's totally fine too! haha Both sides of that coin can be fun, so I'm cool with either way you are. ;)
Alternatively, maybe you had a bad time at prom (or some other romantic event you were looking forward to), or didn't go, or didn't have anyone to go with, or maybe it was OK but didn't nearly live up to your expectations, and would love to get to have some romantic evenings and memories. Or maybe you just didn't get out much (or had super strict parents that didn't let you) and want to get out into the world and explore new places and new things, etc. and would love to have a romantic partner to share all those experiences and memories together with!
...or maybe you had suuuuper strict parents and want to finally get out from under the rock you were living under and finally get to see and do many of the things you've wanted to for a long time! (I would totally understand this one as I had very strict parents)
Maybe you've had a few relationships before but you never clicked very deeply with any of them (and/or they were just too immature), and you're looking for a relationship that's much deeper and more meaningful than that. Or maybe you've never had anyone that you've connected well enough to to feel that they really understand you. ...while I can't promise that we'll click well enough for that to happen, I'd like that to be the goal, and there's certainly a non-zero chance of it happening haha.
Perhaps you're REALLY wanting to be able to fully dive into a relationship as soon as you graduate, and are looking forward to, not necessarily Prom [although possibly that too], but also/mostly just would love to be able to take a long romantic vacation / visit once you're done with school and have some freedom. An opportunity to be yourself and learn about both yourself and your romantic partner.
Or, lastly, maybe you're just single and would love to have someone to cuddle with, talk to, share everything with, watch movies or shows together with, play games together, and travel or explore together!
Anyways, whatever the case is for you, if you think I'm interesting and would like to explore some or all of those things, I'd love to hear from you! Before I get too far ahead of myself, let you tell you a little about me. I'm 39 (but I look a bit younger), white, 5'11" and relatively slim at 165 lbs. I enjoy walking and jogging in the park, as well as exploring new parks / seeing new places and new scenery. Although it's 100 times better when I have someone to enjoy that with and talk to meanwhile! <3 Anyways, I do have a number of nerdy interests - games, movies, anime, computers, science stuff, etc., but I can also enjoy long conversations with a date, walks in the park - or on the beach, playing board, card, or video games together, or sports, etc. Plus I'm open to learning some interests of yours - I can't promise I'll be interested in all of your interests, but it's extremely likely that I'd at least enjoy hearing you talk about them, and some of them I may be happy to join you in (this is very likely). We don't need to share ALL of the same interests, as long as we share a few haha. As far as games go, I'm primarily (almost entirely) a PC gamer, but I occasionally play some console games (primarily older consoles). My favorite thing to do is to cuddle up and watch something fun or interesting, such as movies, YouTube (I watch a lot of YouTube), Anime, Netflix, or Kdramas (occasionally). So you need to at minimum be someone whom would enjoy cuddling up and watching things together with me haha ... but then, almost everyone enjoys doing that. Oh, and I also have a relatively newfound love for Theme Parks and water parks since I recently started going back to them for the first time as an adult recently, and there's many more I'd love to go to - as well as re-visit the ones I've been to with someone special going with me to share the experience with. <3 I'm also curious to try out some amusement parks now that I'm getting more comfortable on rollercoasters.
Anyways, that's a bit about me, I'd love to hear some about you and what your interests are! And maybe note some shared interests that we have! Of course I do have some additional interests, I haven't listed EVERYTHING haha, nor do you need to in a first message haha. Just because my post is long doesn't mean your messages have to be haha. ;)
As for requirements for you, I'm pretty open minded on most things, so I'll try to keep the requirements pretty minimal. Ideally I'm looking for someone that's white or Asian, or some mix thereof (i.e. if you're 50/50, or 50/50 white or Asian and something else, that's fine). I'd consider making exceptions to this for the right person, if we really clicked otherwise. ;) Age wise, while it would be nice to find someone about to graduate HS (and is excited to use their newfound freedom to explore so many new things in life and the world), I'm willing to consider someone a bit older, up to early to mid 20s, as long as we share a number of interests and you feel like you're looking for something similar to what I've described. It's more that I'm looking for someone with a certain mindset and/or at a certain point in their life, not necessarily that they're SUPER young. My main requirement is, as someone that's slim (and sometimes athletic, when I have time to get more exercise), I need you to also BE [as opposed "working on it"] average weight or below, and plan to stay there (but also to expect me to as well - I don't expect anything from a partner that I don't have at LEAST as high expectations of myself about). I find petite girls super cute, but average size girls are fun and cute as well! Both sizes have their fun and interesting points haha, so I'm fine if you're either one.
Anyways, I think I've talked long enough for now haha, but that gives you a decent idea what I'm looking for plus some basics about me. As the title says, while ideally I'd love to find someone within 3 hours of Harrisonburg, VA, I'm willing to consider someone anywhere in the US (probably just the lower 48 states). Drives longer than 3 hours are definitely still very plausible, possibly even 8 or 10 hours perhaps, and flying is an option if you live significantly further away (plus points if you live anywhere remotely near a major airport, but that's not a requirement). Anyways, my point is, if you're further away than a few hours drive, I'd need you to be willing to travel / work with the distance when the time comes - particularly with the drastically increased costs of gas/travel these days. For example, if you're pretty far away, then after the first visit or two, we'd probably need to be planning longer visits when one of us travels to the other. Anyways, I'm not looking to rush into meeting, but I'm also NOT INTERESTED in an online only relationship. We need to start meeting in person in the relatively near future (i.e. a few weeks or so (possibly several weeks if you're far), assuming we talk a good bit during those few weeks). Also, I'm willing to come to you the first visit (or perhaps more) if you're far, but after the first visit or two you'd need to be willing to visit me (I might be willing to pay for your flight if you can't, we'll see), as that's going to be a LOT cheaper than me flying out somewhere, getting a hotel, and renting a car. On the other hand, if you're much closer, within a reasonably driving range, if needed I could pick you up in my car once you're ready to visit (and I can just drive to you for the first few visits). And if you're within 3 hours or so drive, I'm happy to drive to you for several visits at first, until you're ready to visit me. Regardless of the timing, I'm not going to pressure you do visit me before you're comfortable doing so, and it's something we can play by ear. For example, if you're someone that's super shy I understand if it takes a few extra times of me visiting you before you're ready to visit me, or perhaps we need to chat some extra time first, etc.
Well, thanks for reading my rather long post haha, hopefully I've piqued your interest, and if so, I'd love to hear from you! Certainly feel free to ask me any questions you may have, either if you're interested, or if you're curious but need to know some more before you know if you're interested haha. Also, I'm happy to exchange some (clean!) pictures of each other after a few messages. On that note, when you message me, please tell me at least a little about you (i.e. age, race, height/weight, and a little about you and what you're looking for). Thanks again, and hopefully this can be a great opportunity for both of us, and the start of something amazing!
P.S. To the SUPER shy and lurkers out there - yes, you, you know who you are - if you've been looking and wanting a relationship for a while, but have been too shy to ever post yourself or respond to a post, but you find me / what I'm looking for interesting, THIS is the post for you, THE one you've been waiting for. I've talked to a few VERY shy girls occasionally, and it was such an amazing experience for some of them to talk to someone that understands them and is willing to take the time to get to know them, and give them time to get comfortable before meeting. Someone that can help them slowly come out of their shell, gently nudging them to try new things and slowly be more outgoing, but without being pushy. So if that's you, you fit what I described that I'm looking for, and you're THAT shy but really DO want to be in a relationship, THIS is the post that's the opportunity for you. You've found the person that's willing to spend the time to get to know you and let you get comfortable, and also the guy that's going to enjoy and appreciate spending time with you in person if/when we get to that point (hopefully, that's the objective). I understand that shy girls, if you can get to know them well enough that they get comfortable with you, can often build some of the deepest emotional connections, because they appreciate the few close friends they do have SO much moreso than average people. So, if that's you, and you've been wanting a relationship for a while but been too shy to message anyone, PLEASE do this time! <3 I can carry the conversation if needed, but you need to at least say "hi" so that I know you're interested! [If you're too shy to say much, just say "Hi, I'm shy but I'd love to chat" or something like that]. :) Romance doesn't have to be just something you read about in books or watch in movies, YOU CAN experience it yourself! <3
2023.03.21 20:58 InterestingHope2222 39 [M4F] #Harrisonburg, VA - Seeking petite to average girl (at least 18) about to/recently finished HS that wants a deep, romantic relationship w/ a guy that wants to know&understand the real you! Dates/cuddles/movies/gaming/explore&enjoy life! Shy welcome too! All < 3hr drive/poss all U.S.
TL:DR Slim, mature, responsible, and intellectual guy seeking a petite to average size (as in, not overweight, not that you have to be short haha) younger girl (18 or older) that's going to graduate HS this year, or did recently (i.e. the last few years or so) that wants the build the deepest, most romantic and loving relationship with someone that genuinely wants to get to know and understand them on a deep level! Also, someone that will DEEPLY appreciate them, on a level most boys her age could only dream of. Someone that will THOROUGHLY enjoy spending TONS of time with you, savoring every second, loving the memories you're making together, and the things you learn about each other as you get to know and understand each other that much better! A girl that wants to experience a "young love" style of romance, and by that I mean going on all sorts of dates, including some cheesy ones, holding hands a lot while we walk around in parks, at the mall, even at the supermarket if you wish (if you're super shy we can hold off on the PDA such as hand holding until you're more comfortable). By "young love" I also mean just being very romantic, excited to see and spend time with each other, and also lots of hugs and cuddles and kisses (only in private is fine at first if you're shy). Do all sorts of things in life together, cuddle, travel, explore, and just in general enjoy life together and spending time together. Also trying lots of new things together and really appreciating the memories we're making together! Basically just going all-in on the romance / relationship and giving it our all, and just thoroughly enjoying the ride as we get to know each other better and better, and hopefully we click well enough to stay together forever! <3
So that gives you a decent idea of who and what I'm looking for, but there's still more details I'd like to go into, as well as telling some more about myself, so you can better understand who I am.
Ideally I'm looking for a girl that just graduated HS (or did in the last few years), but anyone up to ~25 or so is welcome. If you're shy, even extremely shy, or have strict parents [those aren't requirements either], this could be a great opportunity for you, as I used to be extremely shy when I was younger too (and also had strict / controlling parents, so I understand how that can be too). If you're outgoing, and/or just want to explore new things and places in life, that's cool and fine too! Size wise, as I'm a relatively slim guy myself, I'm attracted to girls that are petite to average weight. I want to be able to do some athletic things together like walking/jogging/perhaps some sports (and/or other things, depending on what you're into). So it's not just an attraction thing that I'm not interested in people overweight, it's a matter of lifestyle / mentality / and being able to do certain things together. Of course I expect my partner to have the same expectations of me, that I don't get fat either.
Anyways, moving on, so thanks for reading my post so far, and if you're looking for what I'd described, hopefully you'll read on and find me interesting, and if so, PLEASE send me a message! It's fine if you are just curious and want to ask some questions and learn more first, before making any decisions / jumping into anything! With that in mind, let me describe myself a bit. I'm a slim, intellectual guy, often been called cute, and I'm pretty upbeat and optimistic, but I've been a bit lonely lately and would LOVE to find a girl that wants a deep, loving, emotionally and mentally close relationship, and is willing to put in the time and effort to build that - assuming of course we click well enough. That doesn't mean we need to rush into things, and I'm not looking to - I'm just saying that should be our end goal. If we date for a while and then decide we're not a close enough match, well, it happens sometimes, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try! So, to address the elephant in the room, yes, I would be a good bit older than you, so obviously you need to be OK with dating a middle aged guy, and I realize that's not for everyone - and that's fine. I'm not looking to pressure anyone into anything. But I also know that there most definitely ARE some girls out there that are open to that, as well as some that specifically prefer that. There's advantages to dating someone a bit older than you, such as them being a lot more mature, responsible, considerate, respectful, and, perhaps most importantly, appreciate life and a deep relationship sooooo much more. Someone whom knows when they have someone special with them, and can appreciate and enjoy that on a level that someone your age can't. Anyways, as long as you're genuinely open to a deep, serious relationship with someone my age, hopefully someday leading to a serious LTR and kids, that's fine. Like I said, I'm not looking to rush into anything, I want to spend some time chatting and getting to know each other first, so we can get comfortable with each other before meeting. So if you're shy, even extremely shy, don't worry, it's OK! I actually used to be EXTREMELY shy when I was young, so I totally understand how that can be, and I usually can get along well with shy people because I've been there and understand where they're coming from. Also, if needed I can carry the conversation until you start getting more comfortable and more talkative. ;) If you've been too shy to talk to guys you like (or possibly you do like older guys but are WAY too shy to approach one) - but genuinely DO want a relationship and would love to find someone willing to spend the time to get to know and truly understand you, this could be the opportunity you're looking for! On the other hand, if you're outgoing and love to chat [and looking for a relationship], that's totally fine too! haha Both sides of that coin can be fun, so I'm cool with either way you are. ;)
Alternatively, maybe you had a bad time at prom (or some other romantic event you were looking forward to), or didn't go, or didn't have anyone to go with, or maybe it was OK but didn't nearly live up to your expectations, and would love to get to have some romantic evenings and memories. Or maybe you just didn't get out much (or had super strict parents that didn't let you) and want to get out into the world and explore new places and new things, etc. and would love to have a romantic partner to share all those experiences and memories together with!
...or maybe you had suuuuper strict parents and want to finally get out from under the rock you were living under and finally get to see and do many of the things you've wanted to for a long time! (I would totally understand this one as I had very strict parents)
Maybe you've had a few relationships before but you never clicked very deeply with any of them (and/or they were just too immature), and you're looking for a relationship that's much deeper and more meaningful than that. Or maybe you've never had anyone that you've connected well enough to to feel that they really understand you. ...while I can't promise that we'll click well enough for that to happen, I'd like that to be the goal, and there's certainly a non-zero chance of it happening haha.
Perhaps you're REALLY wanting to be able to fully dive into a relationship as soon as you graduate, and are looking forward to, not necessarily Prom [although possibly that too], but also/mostly just would love to be able to take a long romantic vacation / visit once you're done with school and have some freedom. An opportunity to be yourself and learn about both yourself and your romantic partner.
Or, lastly, maybe you're just single and would love to have someone to cuddle with, talk to, share everything with, watch movies or shows together with, play games together, and travel or explore together!
Anyways, whatever the case is for you, if you think I'm interesting and would like to explore some or all of those things, I'd love to hear from you! Before I get too far ahead of myself, let you tell you a little about me. I'm 39 (but I look a bit younger), white, 5'11" and relatively slim at 165 lbs. I enjoy walking and jogging in the park, as well as exploring new parks / seeing new places and new scenery. Although it's 100 times better when I have someone to enjoy that with and talk to meanwhile! <3 Anyways, I do have a number of nerdy interests - games, movies, anime, computers, science stuff, etc., but I can also enjoy long conversations with a date, walks in the park - or on the beach, playing board, card, or video games together, or sports, etc. Plus I'm open to learning some interests of yours - I can't promise I'll be interested in all of your interests, but it's extremely likely that I'd at least enjoy hearing you talk about them, and some of them I may be happy to join you in (this is very likely). We don't need to share ALL of the same interests, as long as we share a few haha. As far as games go, I'm primarily (almost entirely) a PC gamer, but I occasionally play some console games (primarily older consoles). My favorite thing to do is to cuddle up and watch something fun or interesting, such as movies, YouTube (I watch a lot of YouTube), Anime, Netflix, or Kdramas (occasionally). So you need to at minimum be someone whom would enjoy cuddling up and watching things together with me haha ... but then, almost everyone enjoys doing that. Oh, and I also have a relatively newfound love for Theme Parks and water parks since I recently started going back to them for the first time as an adult recently, and there's many more I'd love to go to - as well as re-visit the ones I've been to with someone special going with me to share the experience with. <3 I'm also curious to try out some amusement parks now that I'm getting more comfortable on rollercoasters.
Anyways, that's a bit about me, I'd love to hear some about you and what your interests are! And maybe note some shared interests that we have! Of course I do have some additional interests, I haven't listed EVERYTHING haha, nor do you need to in a first message haha. Just because my post is long doesn't mean your messages have to be haha. ;)
As for requirements for you, I'm pretty open minded on most things, so I'll try to keep the requirements pretty minimal. Ideally I'm looking for someone that's white or Asian, or some mix thereof (i.e. if you're 50/50, or 50/50 white or Asian and something else, that's fine). I'd consider making exceptions to this for the right person, if we really clicked otherwise. ;) Age wise, while it would be nice to find someone about to graduate HS (and is excited to use their newfound freedom to explore so many new things in life and the world), I'm willing to consider someone a bit older, up to early to mid 20s, as long as we share a number of interests and you feel like you're looking for something similar to what I've described. It's more that I'm looking for someone with a certain mindset and/or at a certain point in their life, not necessarily that they're SUPER young. My main requirement is, as someone that's slim (and sometimes athletic, when I have time to get more exercise), I need you to also BE [as opposed "working on it"] average weight or below, and plan to stay there (but also to expect me to as well - I don't expect anything from a partner that I don't have at LEAST as high expectations of myself about). I find petite girls super cute, but average size girls are fun and cute as well! Both sizes have their fun and interesting points haha, so I'm fine if you're either one.
Anyways, I think I've talked long enough for now haha, but that gives you a decent idea what I'm looking for plus some basics about me. As the title says, while ideally I'd love to find someone within 3 hours of Harrisonburg, VA, I'm willing to consider someone anywhere in the US (probably just the lower 48 states). Drives longer than 3 hours are definitely still very plausible, possibly even 8 or 10 hours perhaps, and flying is an option if you live significantly further away (plus points if you live anywhere remotely near a major airport, but that's not a requirement). Anyways, my point is, if you're further away than a few hours drive, I'd need you to be willing to travel / work with the distance when the time comes - particularly with the drastically increased costs of gas/travel these days. For example, if you're pretty far away, then after the first visit or two, we'd probably need to be planning longer visits when one of us travels to the other. Anyways, I'm not looking to rush into meeting, but I'm also NOT INTERESTED in an online only relationship. We need to start meeting in person in the relatively near future (i.e. a few weeks or so (possibly several weeks if you're far), assuming we talk a good bit during those few weeks). Also, I'm willing to come to you the first visit (or perhaps more) if you're far, but after the first visit or two you'd need to be willing to visit me (I might be willing to pay for your flight if you can't, we'll see), as that's going to be a LOT cheaper than me flying out somewhere, getting a hotel, and renting a car. On the other hand, if you're much closer, within a reasonably driving range, if needed I could pick you up in my car once you're ready to visit (and I can just drive to you for the first few visits). And if you're within 3 hours or so drive, I'm happy to drive to you for several visits at first, until you're ready to visit me. Regardless of the timing, I'm not going to pressure you do visit me before you're comfortable doing so, and it's something we can play by ear. For example, if you're someone that's super shy I understand if it takes a few extra times of me visiting you before you're ready to visit me, or perhaps we need to chat some extra time first, etc.
Well, thanks for reading my rather long post haha, hopefully I've piqued your interest, and if so, I'd love to hear from you! Certainly feel free to ask me any questions you may have, either if you're interested, or if you're curious but need to know some more before you know if you're interested haha. Also, I'm happy to exchange some (clean!) pictures of each other after a few messages. On that note, when you message me, please tell me at least a little about you (i.e. age, race, height/weight, and a little about you and what you're looking for). Thanks again, and hopefully this can be a great opportunity for both of us, and the start of something amazing!
P.S. To the SUPER shy and lurkers out there - yes, you, you know who you are - if you've been looking and wanting a relationship for a while, but have been too shy to ever post yourself or respond to a post, but you find me / what I'm looking for interesting, THIS is the post for you, THE one you've been waiting for. I've talked to a few VERY shy girls occasionally, and it was such an amazing experience for some of them to talk to someone that understands them and is willing to take the time to get to know them, and give them time to get comfortable before meeting. Someone that can help them slowly come out of their shell, gently nudging them to try new things and slowly be more outgoing, but without being pushy. So if that's you, you fit what I described that I'm looking for, and you're THAT shy but really DO want to be in a relationship, THIS is the post that's the opportunity for you. You've found the person that's willing to spend the time to get to know you and let you get comfortable, and also the guy that's going to enjoy and appreciate spending time with you in person if/when we get to that point (hopefully, that's the objective). I understand that shy girls, if you can get to know them well enough that they get comfortable with you, can often build some of the deepest emotional connections, because they appreciate the few close friends they do have SO much moreso than average people. So, if that's you, and you've been wanting a relationship for a while but been too shy to message anyone, PLEASE do this time! <3 I can carry the conversation if needed, but you need to at least say "hi" so that I know you're interested! [If you're too shy to say much, just say "Hi, I'm shy but I'd love to chat" or something like that]. :) Romance doesn't have to be just something you read about in books or watch in movies, YOU CAN experience it yourself! <3
submitted by InterestingHope2222 to AgeGapRomance [link] [comments]
Ideally I'm looking for a girl that just graduated HS (or did in the last few years), but anyone up to ~25 or so is welcome. If you're shy, even extremely shy, or have strict parents [those aren't requirements either], this could be a great opportunity for you, as I used to be extremely shy when I was younger too (and also had strict / controlling parents, so I understand how that can be too). If you're outgoing, and/or just want to explore new things and places in life, that's cool and fine too! Size wise, as I'm a relatively slim guy myself, I'm attracted to girls that are petite to average weight. I want to be able to do some athletic things together like walking/jogging/perhaps some sports (and/or other things, depending on what you're into). So it's not just an attraction thing that I'm not interested in people overweight, it's a matter of lifestyle / mentality / and being able to do certain things together. Of course I expect my partner to have the same expectations of me, that I don't get fat either.
Anyways, moving on, so thanks for reading my post so far, and if you're looking for what I'd described, hopefully you'll read on and find me interesting, and if so, PLEASE send me a message! It's fine if you are just curious and want to ask some questions and learn more first, before making any decisions / jumping into anything! With that in mind, let me describe myself a bit. I'm a slim, intellectual guy, often been called cute, and I'm pretty upbeat and optimistic, but I've been a bit lonely lately and would LOVE to find a girl that wants a deep, loving, emotionally and mentally close relationship, and is willing to put in the time and effort to build that - assuming of course we click well enough. That doesn't mean we need to rush into things, and I'm not looking to - I'm just saying that should be our end goal. If we date for a while and then decide we're not a close enough match, well, it happens sometimes, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try! So, to address the elephant in the room, yes, I would be a good bit older than you, so obviously you need to be OK with dating a middle aged guy, and I realize that's not for everyone - and that's fine. I'm not looking to pressure anyone into anything. But I also know that there most definitely ARE some girls out there that are open to that, as well as some that specifically prefer that. There's advantages to dating someone a bit older than you, such as them being a lot more mature, responsible, considerate, respectful, and, perhaps most importantly, appreciate life and a deep relationship sooooo much more. Someone whom knows when they have someone special with them, and can appreciate and enjoy that on a level that someone your age can't. Anyways, as long as you're genuinely open to a deep, serious relationship with someone my age, hopefully someday leading to a serious LTR and kids, that's fine. Like I said, I'm not looking to rush into anything, I want to spend some time chatting and getting to know each other first, so we can get comfortable with each other before meeting. So if you're shy, even extremely shy, don't worry, it's OK! I actually used to be EXTREMELY shy when I was young, so I totally understand how that can be, and I usually can get along well with shy people because I've been there and understand where they're coming from. Also, if needed I can carry the conversation until you start getting more comfortable and more talkative. ;) If you've been too shy to talk to guys you like (or possibly you do like older guys but are WAY too shy to approach one) - but genuinely DO want a relationship and would love to find someone willing to spend the time to get to know and truly understand you, this could be the opportunity you're looking for! On the other hand, if you're outgoing and love to chat [and looking for a relationship], that's totally fine too! haha Both sides of that coin can be fun, so I'm cool with either way you are. ;)
Alternatively, maybe you had a bad time at prom (or some other romantic event you were looking forward to), or didn't go, or didn't have anyone to go with, or maybe it was OK but didn't nearly live up to your expectations, and would love to get to have some romantic evenings and memories. Or maybe you just didn't get out much (or had super strict parents that didn't let you) and want to get out into the world and explore new places and new things, etc. and would love to have a romantic partner to share all those experiences and memories together with!
...or maybe you had suuuuper strict parents and want to finally get out from under the rock you were living under and finally get to see and do many of the things you've wanted to for a long time! (I would totally understand this one as I had very strict parents)
Maybe you've had a few relationships before but you never clicked very deeply with any of them (and/or they were just too immature), and you're looking for a relationship that's much deeper and more meaningful than that. Or maybe you've never had anyone that you've connected well enough to to feel that they really understand you. ...while I can't promise that we'll click well enough for that to happen, I'd like that to be the goal, and there's certainly a non-zero chance of it happening haha.
Perhaps you're REALLY wanting to be able to fully dive into a relationship as soon as you graduate, and are looking forward to, not necessarily Prom [although possibly that too], but also/mostly just would love to be able to take a long romantic vacation / visit once you're done with school and have some freedom. An opportunity to be yourself and learn about both yourself and your romantic partner.
Or, lastly, maybe you're just single and would love to have someone to cuddle with, talk to, share everything with, watch movies or shows together with, play games together, and travel or explore together!
Anyways, whatever the case is for you, if you think I'm interesting and would like to explore some or all of those things, I'd love to hear from you! Before I get too far ahead of myself, let you tell you a little about me. I'm 39 (but I look a bit younger), white, 5'11" and relatively slim at 165 lbs. I enjoy walking and jogging in the park, as well as exploring new parks / seeing new places and new scenery. Although it's 100 times better when I have someone to enjoy that with and talk to meanwhile! <3 Anyways, I do have a number of nerdy interests - games, movies, anime, computers, science stuff, etc., but I can also enjoy long conversations with a date, walks in the park - or on the beach, playing board, card, or video games together, or sports, etc. Plus I'm open to learning some interests of yours - I can't promise I'll be interested in all of your interests, but it's extremely likely that I'd at least enjoy hearing you talk about them, and some of them I may be happy to join you in (this is very likely). We don't need to share ALL of the same interests, as long as we share a few haha. As far as games go, I'm primarily (almost entirely) a PC gamer, but I occasionally play some console games (primarily older consoles). My favorite thing to do is to cuddle up and watch something fun or interesting, such as movies, YouTube (I watch a lot of YouTube), Anime, Netflix, or Kdramas (occasionally). So you need to at minimum be someone whom would enjoy cuddling up and watching things together with me haha ... but then, almost everyone enjoys doing that. Oh, and I also have a relatively newfound love for Theme Parks and water parks since I recently started going back to them for the first time as an adult recently, and there's many more I'd love to go to - as well as re-visit the ones I've been to with someone special going with me to share the experience with. <3 I'm also curious to try out some amusement parks now that I'm getting more comfortable on rollercoasters.
Anyways, that's a bit about me, I'd love to hear some about you and what your interests are! And maybe note some shared interests that we have! Of course I do have some additional interests, I haven't listed EVERYTHING haha, nor do you need to in a first message haha. Just because my post is long doesn't mean your messages have to be haha. ;)
As for requirements for you, I'm pretty open minded on most things, so I'll try to keep the requirements pretty minimal. Ideally I'm looking for someone that's white or Asian, or some mix thereof (i.e. if you're 50/50, or 50/50 white or Asian and something else, that's fine). I'd consider making exceptions to this for the right person, if we really clicked otherwise. ;) Age wise, while it would be nice to find someone about to graduate HS (and is excited to use their newfound freedom to explore so many new things in life and the world), I'm willing to consider someone a bit older, up to early to mid 20s, as long as we share a number of interests and you feel like you're looking for something similar to what I've described. It's more that I'm looking for someone with a certain mindset and/or at a certain point in their life, not necessarily that they're SUPER young. My main requirement is, as someone that's slim (and sometimes athletic, when I have time to get more exercise), I need you to also BE [as opposed "working on it"] average weight or below, and plan to stay there (but also to expect me to as well - I don't expect anything from a partner that I don't have at LEAST as high expectations of myself about). I find petite girls super cute, but average size girls are fun and cute as well! Both sizes have their fun and interesting points haha, so I'm fine if you're either one.
Anyways, I think I've talked long enough for now haha, but that gives you a decent idea what I'm looking for plus some basics about me. As the title says, while ideally I'd love to find someone within 3 hours of Harrisonburg, VA, I'm willing to consider someone anywhere in the US (probably just the lower 48 states). Drives longer than 3 hours are definitely still very plausible, possibly even 8 or 10 hours perhaps, and flying is an option if you live significantly further away (plus points if you live anywhere remotely near a major airport, but that's not a requirement). Anyways, my point is, if you're further away than a few hours drive, I'd need you to be willing to travel / work with the distance when the time comes - particularly with the drastically increased costs of gas/travel these days. For example, if you're pretty far away, then after the first visit or two, we'd probably need to be planning longer visits when one of us travels to the other. Anyways, I'm not looking to rush into meeting, but I'm also NOT INTERESTED in an online only relationship. We need to start meeting in person in the relatively near future (i.e. a few weeks or so (possibly several weeks if you're far), assuming we talk a good bit during those few weeks). Also, I'm willing to come to you the first visit (or perhaps more) if you're far, but after the first visit or two you'd need to be willing to visit me (I might be willing to pay for your flight if you can't, we'll see), as that's going to be a LOT cheaper than me flying out somewhere, getting a hotel, and renting a car. On the other hand, if you're much closer, within a reasonably driving range, if needed I could pick you up in my car once you're ready to visit (and I can just drive to you for the first few visits). And if you're within 3 hours or so drive, I'm happy to drive to you for several visits at first, until you're ready to visit me. Regardless of the timing, I'm not going to pressure you do visit me before you're comfortable doing so, and it's something we can play by ear. For example, if you're someone that's super shy I understand if it takes a few extra times of me visiting you before you're ready to visit me, or perhaps we need to chat some extra time first, etc.
Well, thanks for reading my rather long post haha, hopefully I've piqued your interest, and if so, I'd love to hear from you! Certainly feel free to ask me any questions you may have, either if you're interested, or if you're curious but need to know some more before you know if you're interested haha. Also, I'm happy to exchange some (clean!) pictures of each other after a few messages. On that note, when you message me, please tell me at least a little about you (i.e. age, race, height/weight, and a little about you and what you're looking for). Thanks again, and hopefully this can be a great opportunity for both of us, and the start of something amazing!
P.S. To the SUPER shy and lurkers out there - yes, you, you know who you are - if you've been looking and wanting a relationship for a while, but have been too shy to ever post yourself or respond to a post, but you find me / what I'm looking for interesting, THIS is the post for you, THE one you've been waiting for. I've talked to a few VERY shy girls occasionally, and it was such an amazing experience for some of them to talk to someone that understands them and is willing to take the time to get to know them, and give them time to get comfortable before meeting. Someone that can help them slowly come out of their shell, gently nudging them to try new things and slowly be more outgoing, but without being pushy. So if that's you, you fit what I described that I'm looking for, and you're THAT shy but really DO want to be in a relationship, THIS is the post that's the opportunity for you. You've found the person that's willing to spend the time to get to know you and let you get comfortable, and also the guy that's going to enjoy and appreciate spending time with you in person if/when we get to that point (hopefully, that's the objective). I understand that shy girls, if you can get to know them well enough that they get comfortable with you, can often build some of the deepest emotional connections, because they appreciate the few close friends they do have SO much moreso than average people. So, if that's you, and you've been wanting a relationship for a while but been too shy to message anyone, PLEASE do this time! <3 I can carry the conversation if needed, but you need to at least say "hi" so that I know you're interested! [If you're too shy to say much, just say "Hi, I'm shy but I'd love to chat" or something like that]. :) Romance doesn't have to be just something you read about in books or watch in movies, YOU CAN experience it yourself! <3
2023.03.21 20:35 toomeynd How to interact with dogs, via the SF SPCA
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2023.03.21 20:13 eeveewithapun Incoming ticket drops? 👀
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2023.03.21 20:12 Gluteny I wonder what the "something" is.
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2023.03.21 19:36 lucidnx Rain AniMe Matrix Gif
 | I think this one suits LTT Northern deskpad the most :) I will post link in comment later. submitted by lucidnx to ZephyrusG14 [link] [comments] |