I couple of weeks ago, I posted an article from the Dorchester Review here at CanadianConservative and over at WildroseCountry about how the Law Society of Alberta has mandated a very heavy handed indigenous sensitivity training course called the "The Path." It looks like there's been a further development in that story. According to the Edmonton Journal, a petition has been started by Alberta lawyers to scrap it.
It's really heartening to see Canada's legal community start to lead the charge on pushing back on the excesses of "reconciliation" and other such undemocratic wokeness. In addition to this, there was another great article in the Hub about the burgeoning non-partisan conservative movement among Canada's law schools and legal community called the Runnymede Society that's helping to turn the tied against liberalism run amok in our legal system.
I can only hope that we start to see similar responses in our facets of our society. Much of our business community has become captive to this kind of thinking for fear of reputational damage through blackmail tactics by activist groups.

China is a huge country of 1.4 billion people, and will therefore end up with a large diaspora. The best and brightest of China will emigrate to places with better living conditions, and why not to some of the most developed countries on Earth - Australia, New Zealand and Canada. When your country is so huge, 1.4 billion people, even 1% of your people are still 14 million people. Many Chinese have moved into Canada, Aus and NZ. In each country they make up about 5% of the population.
While not a large voting bloc today, they may end up becoming a large voting bloc in the future. If the Chinese diaspora do not integrate and adopt a new identity, and instead identify and remain loyal to China, this will be a problem.
"As China's influence raises, the Chinese government has been trying to control and monitor the ethnic Chinese living and studying in Australia, and to influence Australian politicians via political donors, which causes serious concern to Australia's security agency, Australian Security Intelligence Organisation."
https://thehub.ca/in-the-know/2021-06-02/chinese-influence-operations-have-deeply-infiltrated-canada-alliance-canada-hong-kong/
https://cdainstitute.ca/charles-burton-countering-chinese-influence-operations-in-canada/
https://www.csis.org/analysis/countering-chinas-influence-operations-lessons-australia
https://thediplomat.com/2022/07/new-zealand-will-not-join-the-us-coalition-against-china-anytime-soon/
https://www.nzherald.co.nz/business/revealed-chinas-network-of-influence-in-new-zealand/F36WPWYQPCFOPP6HOMTMOFNLZU/
While the Chinese population is not as large in the UK, there are issues with Chinese influence in the UK too.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-59984380
China is trying to wedge apart the Anglosphere. This needs to be prevented. The US needs to see this and unite its closest allies. As we know, nobody is a closer ally to the US than Canzuk, if the US lost its closest allies, then it would be game-over for not only the US but the entire West.
Currently, multiculturalism is failing as people of a foreign origin are not assimilating and sometimes displaying loyalty to a foreign power, this is extremely dangerous. Forming the Anglosphere would help prevent this as it would provide a wider, civilisational identity for the people of Canada, the US, UK, Aus and NZ identify with.
As part of the Anglosphere, culture needs to be promoted. We need to find what parts of our culture unite us, and stress those, stress cultural integration and reject multi-culturalism. Canzuk is closer culturally than it is to the US, but there are elements they all share:

1. They ultimately all derive from the United Kingdom.
2. From this they speak the English language natively.
3. They are all predominantly Christian countries.
4. They follow common law.
5. Their societies tend to emphasise individualism - individual achievements, hard-work, people creating opportunities for themselves, climbing up the social ladder as opposed to more collective societies where people rely on the state and others.
6. They even share some of the same cuisine - such as fish and chips (more limited in the US though).
7. They are democracies.
8. They are built upon fundamental concepts of justice, social responsibility, fairness, equality of opportunity. As opposed to societies built upon nepotism, corruption, tribalism, and pure self-interest.
9. In the age of the Internet, and owing to us speaking English, our countries are actually converging.

6 days of him sleeping on the sofa and me walking around without a care in the world and he finally cracked
UPDATE: day 5 of ongoing break up, am i getting closer to the truth? : loveafterporn (reddit.com)
is it the truth? I dont know, it FELT honest and he cant hide guilt, i have seen the guilt drop away over the last 2 days
his answers added up to my intuition, his answers also added up with what i have physically seen
he told me a lot about his past, his childhood, and i understand how this happened now
I no longer feel crazy, because i wasnt going crazy, SOMETHING was still going on...
his addiction isnt extreme as he is terrified of women in person so iv never been worried about him cheating, messaging women, cam girls, onlyfans.....im 97% sure there has been zero activity from him in these areas, he doesnt need women to respond to him, or interact with them, he doesnt even like home made porn or any ammature, he likes his big hollywood studio stuff and sees them as movies, the girls as actresses.
the porn he watches, they all look like me, my build, my frame, hair similar face, he said hes obsessed with sex with me but as soon as hes able to touch me, he just freezes, anxiety kicks in and his libido is gone again
he swears he hasnt PMO since 1st jan but he cant get out of the habit of looking at girls on the street, i see him, he admits it, i see him try not to, sounds insane, but i see him awquardly trying to talk to me and gain eye contact with me if a 'that girl' walk past but even if he looks away, that triggers instant guilt...he wouldnt admit this at the time, he would say 'im not looking at anyone' and then that created guilt for him and anger for me.
he addiction is still driving his behaviour, but it seems to be all phychological
he became addicted from the age of 11
it never advanced to anything other than hours scrolling 'thehub' and 3 quick tugs a day - for 20 odd years straight....
but the porn, the images, the obsession with body parts - stopping watching hasnt taken that away
hes finally spoken to a therapist and told her he has hit a brick wall and cant heal past this point alone
hes struggling with getting his drive back....he says its there one minute than gone... this could be possible as this has happened at times where theres no way he could have used and one minute hes absolutely ravenous, and then it can be gone within minutes....
hhe said he wants me so bad but just feels embarrassed. he looks at me wanting to grab me and throw me down but his body just freezes...
after sex, he feels ashamed, i see this, he goes shy and clearly feels discomfort after any ejaculation
he said he will do anything to prove to me hes clean and been clean for 6 months
he left his phone at home by accident with me for 8 hours straight
i plugged it into the computer and absolutely tore it apart, every app, email, history, settings, downloading cookie files...i didnt find a dickie bird
also, worth noting, I haven't seen any evidence around the house, no shady behaviour, he doesn't take his phone out of the room, if he goes to the toilet, shower he leaves it with me, if he goes to bed early, he leaves his phone with me, we have had these rules for a year now and he hasn't broken any of them, iv not seen or found anything suspicious since last D-day 6 months ago and even that D-day was completely self confessed, i didnt sniff an issue, he just came and told me outright that he had relapsed...
hes moving over to a standard calls and text phone and agreed to surrender all internet and devices access unless under supervision (this was his choice)
hes admitted to using various manipulation tactics, be he swears he has no idea this is what hes doing in the moment, he said hes so scared of loosing me over this, in the moment he will say anything because hes desperate not to loose me
therapist all booked by him and his email he sent her was brutally honest
hes going to attend SAA meetings too
we attempted some intimacy yesterday, i did not want to give myself sexually, we laid fully clothed and made out like teenagers, i felt desired and wanted,
he said opening up to me is helping
iv got a little bit of hope back and the pain is subsiding
hes willing to book a polygraph asap to prove he hasnt acted out since 1st jan

I'm a Namibian national and have just recently received an offer from the University of Helsinki for a Masters's in Data Science (2 years). Unfortunately, I did not get a scholarship and would be required to finance my studies on my own which will be rather expensive.
An alternative could be finding a part-time job to finance my living expenses and pay back the money I've borrowed (not from the company to offer the job) for the tuition deposit.
My question is, how possible is this? I'm sure once I'm there it's possible but I'd much rather prefer to have some sort of guarantee before I go. Also, I'd love suggestions on where to look for jobs. Thus far, I have applied through LinkedIn jobs and https://thehub.io/jobs (job-posting platform for startups).
I think this will definitely be a great opportunity. Thanks
​
Edit:
In case anyone here is hiring, here is my resume. All opinions and judgements are welcome.

Last week, I emailed Dodge my VIN # and found out that my 2021 Reactor Blue Durango T w/Tow and Go was one of one built in the US with the same options. I suspect ordering a uncommon color during a year production was impacted by chip shortages was a contributing factor. Looks like I ended up with a keeper!
---------- Original Message ----------
From: US Customer Care <[[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])> To: Date: 03/18/2022 12:38 PM Subject: MC715467 - 2021 DODGE DURANGO T AWD
Welcome to Dodge Customer Care.
\Build (sequence) number is not available nor provided by the factory. **
CONGRATS!!!
In the 2021 model year, your 2021 DODGE DURANGO T AWD manufactured in the Reactor Blue Pearl Coat and built with your equipment, options and groups is one of one in the United States.
*ML Leather Trimmed Bucket Seats
-DA Black/Vitra Gray
AAN Tow N Go Package
ADG Technology Group
APAS Monotone Paint
AZF Premium Interior Group
AZ2 Cargo Plus Group DFD 8-Spd Auto 8HP70 Trans GWA Power Sunroof M2S Mopar Dual Stripes-Gunmtl Low Gloss NHK Engine Block Heater PBF Reactor Blue Pearl Coat
RCA19 Harman Kardon Amped Spkrs w/Sub UBNS Uconnect 5 Nav w 10.1" Display (USA)
WHWP 20x10.0 Hyper Black Aluminum Wheels
WLZCAll Aluminum Wheels
W1KP 20x6.5 Aluminum Spare Wheel Thank you for your inquiry,
J. S. Stellantis Mopar Headquarters

After two days it is no more. I was and remain completely opposed to this invocation of the emergency powers. I think they simply should have arrested the protestors early on, before the whole thing became such a big deal.
Here is a good short essay on the “digital jail” created by having your funds frozen in a nearly cashless society. How is it you are supposed to pay for a lawyer? What about joint bank accounts with other family members? The more you think about this option, the worse it gets.
That all said, I have never been sold on the more dramatic claims of the critics. No, this is not the transition moment for crypto. Canada has not become a fascist state. The government made a mistake, and the mistake has been corrected. They should not have had this power to begin with.
I would stress that eternal vigilance is the price of liberty, and vigilance was needed to push this one back. But if this was your freakout for the week, most of your attention is directed to the wrong places.
The post Trudeau has repealed the Emergencies Act appeared first on Marginal REVOLUTION.
[

Comments

](http://marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/2022/02/trudeau-has-repealed-the-emergencies-act.html#comments) - Canadians believe in Good Governance. This is what that looks ...by A Reader

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1. Krugman on inflation (NYT).
   
2. Adam Gopnik on Get Back (New Yorker).
   
3. Where Chile stands (FT).
   
4. “…the median age of Canada’s fifteen largest public companies is 122 years.”
   
5. Why is cryonics not more popular?
   
6. “We theorize that East Asians (e.g., ethnic Chinese)—but not South Asians (e.g., ethnic Indians)—are less likely than other ethnicities to emerge as leaders in multiethnic environments partly because East Asians socialize more with ethnic ingroup members (other East Asians). Analyzing a survey of 54,620 Juris Doctor (JD) students from 124 U.S. law schools, Study 1 revealed that East Asians had the highest ethnic homophily of all ethnicities.” Link here.
   

The post Friday assorted links appeared first on Marginal REVOLUTION.
[

Comments

](http://marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/2021/12/friday-assorted-links-342.html#comments) - 5. literally just Pascal's wager.by Hadur - #6: I will nitpick the language in the abstract. At best, ...by M

FOKUS

INRIKES UTRIKES POLITIK EKONOMI KULTUR KRÖNIKA
INRIKES / EKONOMI PUBLISHED 2031-05-04

NU ÅKER VI, RAKETMANNEN

SSC Promises Nordic Manned Space Mission by Mid-2034 Aboard Reusable Heavy-Lift Launch Vehicle

TEXT: JANNE SUNDLING
OSLO - Hot on the heels of the first commercial launch of the Jaktfalk 2, Swedish Space Corporation CEO Stefan Gardefjord has announced that Norwegian SSC subsidiary Ripple Aerospace has begun design of a heavy-lift vehicle based on the company’s successful reusable launch platform to meet human rating requirements for manned space missions. Designed to carry crewed missions to orbit, the moon, or Mars, the Jaktfalk 3 will consist of a Jaktfalk 2 structurally strengthened with carbon fiber aluminum core composite with two additional liquid-fueled Jaktfalk 2-derived first stages as strap-on boosters. “As the most powerful Nordic rocket ever designed, Jaktfalk 3 will be able to deliver a payload of 63800 kg to LEO, 26700 kg to Geostationary Transfer Orbit, and 16800 kg to trans-Mars injection,” Gardefjord stated during an interview with state broadcaster SVT. “Because the new rocket uses most of the same tooling, material, and manufacturing techniques as the other Jaktfalk models and is fully-reusable, we’re aiming for a $70.18 Million price per launch price tag. This means if an annual rate of four launches can be sustained, $1100 per kilo or less to LEO is very achievable.” The CEO would go on to confirm that missions expected to pass GEO would be more expensive “in the $140 Million range”, on account of needing to expend several of the recoverable stages, and that the manifest for the Jaktfalk 3 has grown to five contracted missions, worth an estimated $500-700 Million, meaning the heavy-lift vehicle has enough contracts to cover the internal cost of its development.
The Jaktfalk 3’s triple cores and twenty-seven rocket engines generate 22.82 MN of total sea-level thrust at liftoff, and its upper stage is powered by a single vacuum vacuum-adapted Nammo has again been commissioned to provide the LOX/RP-1 rocket motor forming 934 kN in thrust with a nominal burn time of 397 seconds. Like the smaller Jaktfalk 2, all stages are fully marinized and are currently undergoing rigorous testing for autonomous self-landing so they can be reused. Each core utilizes small grid fins to control the descent through atmosphere, and deploys four extensible landing legs for landings at Esrange Space Center or on autonomous spaceport drone ships at sea. The upper stage shares the same ultra-light ablative heat shield, steerable ram-air parachute, and additional equipment enabling the recovery of its predecessor’s second stage.
First flight of the Jaktfalk 3 is expected in mid-2033, with larger satellites acting as the rocket’s initial missions payload. Following successful unmanned launch, a crewed launch will occur one year following, with seven Nordic astronauts selected from various Scandinavian ethnicities from across the Three Kingdoms aboard the Gyrfalken. This 7-man partially-reusable spacecraft, with a internal payload capacity of 3,307 kg, contains a three-screen control panel, a toilet, and docking hatch, with the capsule intended for recovery and reuse following an ocean landing via four parachutes, with a PICA heat shield protecting it during re-entry. Onboard propulsion for launch aborts, altitude control, and orbital maneuvers is provided by eight side-mounted Nammo engines clustered into four pods, with each engine forming 71 kN of thrust. The Gyrfalken can be programmed to perform missions entirely-autonomously, or can be manually controlled from its triple panels. In the event of cabin pressurization, the Gyrfalken remains fully operable, and crew members are expected to wear SSC-designed space suits at all times to protect them during emergencies. Onboard power is supplied by solar arrays built into the trunk of the Gyrfalken itself, with a bank Li-Air batteries providing backup power.
The 2034 manned mission undertaken by the Commonwealth of Nordic Kingdoms will be commanded by Captain Cathrine Pedersen of the Royal Commonwealth Air Army. The former Norwegian Air Force pilot has exhaustive experience with multiple RCAA combat platforms, most recently the F-35 Lightning II, and is reportedly already at Esrange Space Center to begin training with SSC. The Corporation has also confirmed it is currently undertaking processing of potential Swedish, Finnish, Danish, Icelandic, and Greenlandic applicants.

I've had my pod go for just under a year and I'm constantly learning new things about it. I stumbled upon this article with Eric Klein where he says "We wanted to make sure it was our best modeling we had. We wanted to make sure a lot of the thing people loved about Helix, like the Snapshots and Pedal Edit mode, and the color screens and switches and shortcuts were still there."
I looked through the manual and a bunch of videos trying to see if pedal edit mode is actually there. I'm guessing that he misspoke and there is no pedal edit mode or am I just missing something obvious?
Helix Pedal Edit Mode

FOKUS

INRIKES UTRIKES POLITIK EKONOMI KULTUR KRÖNIKA
INRIKES / EKONOMI PUBLISHED 2029-04-04

RAKETERNA SOM TAR OSS UT I RYMDEN

SSC’s Ripple Aerospace Begins Development of Reusable Launch Vehicles

TEXT: JANNE SUNDLING
OSLO - With successful commercialization of the Jaktfalk 1A/1B, Swedish Space Corporation CEO Stefan Gardefjord has announced that Norwegian SSC subsidiary Ripple Aerospace has begun development of a series of reusable rockets as part of the Jaktfalk family. Initially, the company plans to focus on development of the Jaktfalk 2, a medium launch vehicle capable of delivering up to 23,000 kilograms to low-earth orbit and 8,200 kilograms to geosynchronous transfer orbit with a reusable architecture.
Norwegian-Finnish firm Nammo has again been commissioned to provide the LOX/RP-1 rocket motors for each stage of the two-stage Jaktfalk 2. The first stage uses nine 850 kN rocket engines derived from the Jaktfalk 1B’s motors and featuring servo-motor-controlled butterfly valves to provide fine control of the fuel/oxidizer ratio, forming 7.6 MN of combined thrust. The upper stage utilizes a single, vacuum-adapted version of the same engine, forming 934 kN vacuum thrust, which also serves double duty as a landing-engine. Second stage igniter propellant lines are insulated to better support in-space restart following long coast phases for orbital trajectory maneuvers, allowing the upper stage engine to be reignited as many as three or more times.
Both stages of the two-stage Jaktfalk 2 have been designed for full reusability, allowing SSC to recover each stage to be flown again multiple times, with prototypes undergoing rigorous testing for autonomous self-landing of each stage after use. Stages have been marinized with coatings of salt-water corrosion-resistant material to minimize galvanic corrosion. Atmospheric flight controls for the first stage are achieved through a combination of thrust vectoring and grid fins that deploy from the vehicle after separation, with four extensible landing legs around the stage’s base deployed moments before landing either at Esrange Space Center or on an autonomous spaceport drone ship at sea. The upper stage features an ultra-light ablative heat shield for atmospheric re-entry, a steerable ram-air parachute, and other equipment to facilitate recovery following delivery of its payload.
“The Jaktfalk 2 has a price-per-launch of $46 Million, with fixed costs spread across multiple launches. That’s just $2000 per kilo to LEO,” Gardefjord confirmed during the SVT interview. The SSC CEO stated that the company intends the Jaktfalk 2 to compete in the same market as the Falcon 9, Delta IV, and the Atlas V, providing competitive launch rates thanks to the system’s complete reusability. $300 Million in SSC private funding has been allocated towards developing the launch system, with an expected first launch scheduled for April 2031.

FOKUS

INRIKES UTRIKES POLITIK EKONOMI KULTUR KRÖNIKA
INRIKES / EKONOMI PUBLISHED 2026-01-05

AVFYRA RAKETEN!

SSC Acquires Ripple Aerospace, Announces Jaktfalk 1 Development

TEXT: JANNE SUNDLING
OSLO - Stefan Gardefjord, CEO of the Swedish Space Corporation, confirmed the finalization of SSC’s acquisition of rocket startup Ripple Aerospace during state broadcaster SVT’s Monday noon-hour programming. The purchase of the Norwegian firm and its Sea Serpent launch system has been the Corporation’s most significant development since the expansion of Esrange Space Center into a proper satellite launch facility completed in 2022.
With Ripple Aerospace under new management, the SSC subsidiary’s first major venture will be the development of the Jaktfalk 1, a new land-based LEO launch system developed in tandem with Norwegian-Finnish firm Nammo. The Jaktfalk 1 is intended to serve as the first in a family of SSC launch vehicles, and is a small liquid-fueled rocket capable of placing several hundred kilograms into low earth orbit in support of the company’s SmallSat Express initiative. The fully-expendable launch vehicle is to be developed over the course of four years, using a two-stage-to-orbit design fueled by LOX/RP-1 for both stages. The first stage of the Jaktfalk 1 features a regeneratively cooled combustion chamber and nozzle made of carbon-fiber-reinforced polymer composite materials and is powered by an inexpensive Nammo-developed gas-generator power cycle rocket motor forming 350 kN of sea-level thrust. The first stage’s turbopump drive exhaust uses thrust vectoring to provide roll control for the launch vehicle until the point of separation. The upper stage uses a simplified pressure-fed engine with 31 kN vacuum thrust built on the same pintle architecture as the first-stage motor, its nozzle radiatively-cooled and fabricated from a high-performance niobium alloy. Thrust vectoring on the second stage is conducted by a series of electro-mechanical actuators on the engine dome for pitch and yaw, with roll control provided by cold gas thrusters.
“Jaktfalk 1 has been specifically designed to maintain an initial price-per-launch of approximately $7 Million,” Gardefjord confirmed during the SVT interview. “Because we’re aiming at a minimum viable product, we’re hoping to deliver a 470 kg payload to low equatorial earth orbit for as little as $14,000 per kilo.” The SSC CEO confirmed an initial investment of $90 Million, with the launch date of the first-generation Jaktfalk 1 already set for 2028.
SSC and Ripple Aerospace have already begun planning incremental improvements for subsequent Jaktfalk 1 iterations, with the second-generation of the expendable launch vehicle expected to feature a 560 kN first stage rocket motor, capable of deliverng 1,010 kg to LEO for as little as $8400 per kilogram by 2030.

Survey: https://forms.gle/e1dsPBRsxp2nJv9x9
App Store: https://apps.apple.com/ca/app/fca-know-go/id1530258834
Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.fcagroup.us.knowandgo

edit: meant "one time" not "one type"
Wanted to get some opinions, is it worth to get in the Stellantis one time dividend distribution?
For FCA holders they're paying €1.84 per share, ex date is 1/14/21.
https://www.fcagroup.com/en-US/investors/stock_info_and_shareholder_cornePages/dividend_distribution.aspx

We come back to the show, and to the hard cam, and see the fans sitting down, awaiting the next part of the show, but they all soon rise to their fit as a particular tune hits the speaker system.
YOU’RE GOING HOME IN A FUCKING AMBULANCE!
Crowd: YYEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
None other than Brendan Byrne steps through the curtains, and the crowd goes crazy! Byrne comes out wearing street clothes as he walks down the aisle, slapping fans hands as he makes his way to the ring with a mic in hand.
Paisner: Here comes Brendan Byrne, who has been targeting Big Money Maverick and his World Title as of late!
Woodbridge: Last week Byrne interrupted Big Money Maverick’s championship celebration, looking to get his hands on Mav, but unfortunately the champ was able to escape untouched.
Byrne makes his way up the steps and steps through the ropes into the ring, waving his music off as he raises the mic to his mouth.
Paisner: What does Byrne have on his mind?
Byrne looks out into the sea of fans before talking, noticing that a chant is starting to pick up.
Crowd: BREN-DAN BYRNE! BREN-DAN BYRNE! BREN-DAN BYRNE!
Woodbridge: These fans love Brendan Byrne! Ironic considering this is Big Money Mav’s home state!
Byrne grins, and nods to the fans, acknowledging their support for the former World Champ. Byrne begins to speak.
Byrne: It’s commonly said that the loudest person in the room is also the weakest, and a certain “World Champion” has been really loud lately….
Crowd: BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Byrne: Look, I understand what happened at It Just Means More, I’m not gonna make any excuses for myself. I didn’t win the World Title, that much is true, and that I can begrudgingly accept. However, what I CAN’T accept, is Maverick prancing around with that shiny championship acting like he’s proved something against me.
Byrne: Mav thinks that just because he cold-cocked me with a lead pipe and stole my pin, that he’s somehow proved himself to be a better wrestler….no-....a better MAN than me. It was a bloody clever move, I’ll give the devil his due, but to me, it doesn’t prove anything other than him being in the right place at the right time. Mav can scream from the rooftops about how much “better” he is than me until he’s blue in the face, but his words don’t mean a thing until he’s beaten me one-on-one in the middle of this damn ring!
Crowd: YYYEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!
Byrne: But, as i’m sure you all know, Maverick has no intent of facing me one-on-one, at least not while he still holds that World Championship.
Crowd: BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Byrne looks more intensely into the camera, fired up as he speaks.
Byrne: Maverick claims he can beat me, but he doesn’t seem very keen to prove it! It’s almost as if “Big Money” Maverick knows that his mouth is writing checks that his ass can’t cash!!!
Crowd: YYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!
MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY..
Crowd: BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Woodbridge:Here comes Big Money!!!
Big Money Maverick comes storming through the curtains, wearing a suit with the World Title over his shoulder and a mic in his other hand, looking rather irritated by Byrne’s words. Mav stands on the stage looking at Byrne in the ring as his music quickly fades away
Big Money Mav: ENOUGH, ENOUGH, ENOUGH!!! Cut that motherfucker’s mic right now!!!
Byrne: What’s wrong, Maverick? You don’t like hearing the truth?!?!
Big Money Mav:RAY! Ray Ginbonur, I will CashApp you 500 dollars right now if you cut that piece of shit’s mic off!!!
Mav quickly pulls his phone out from his suit pocket, and pulls CashApp up, displaying the screen to the camera as he holds his finger over the “send” button.
Paisner: Wait, is Mav seriously trying to bribe Ray Ginbonur, our sound producer 500 dollars to cut Byrne’s mic?!
Byrne: Nice try Mav, but I don’t think t^{hatisgonnawork.}
Byrne continues talking into the mic, but none of his words are being picked up, and his mic has been 100% cut off.
Crowd: BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Paisner: Son of a bitch! Ray actually did it!
Woodbridge: 500 dollars isn’t chump change to Ginbonur! It’s probably more than he makes on any given show!
Mav, with a smile on his face, turns the phone screen back around so he can see it, and he sends the 500 dollars to Ray’s CashApp account as the fans chant their disapproval.
Crowd: FUCK YOU RAY! FUCK YOU RAY! FUCK YOU RAY!
Big Money Mav:Hey, Ray’s just being financially wise! There’s no reason to hate on that! Enjoy that 500 Ray, and while you’re at it cut all the other ringside mics too before Byrne tries to grab another one!
Crowd: BBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Byrne stands in the ring, looking annoyed at Mav’s antics as he holds a dead mic at his side.
Big Money Mav: I let you come out here and say your peace, so now you’re gonna listen to ME, and you better listen good. I’ve stated time and time again my reasoning for not wanting to face you. It’s not that i’m “afraid” of you, it’s because you don’t DESERVE a title match. I am a fighting champion, but that doesn’t mean i’m just gonna defend my title against any schmuck who wants a shot at it.
Byrne rolls out of the ring on the side of the ring furthest from Mav, and he lifts up on the ringskirt to look underneath the ring for something as Big Money Mav talks.
Big Money Mav: You can talk all you want about who the “better man” is, but at the end of the day, all that you-
Suddenly, Byrne produces a MEGAPHONE from underneath the ring to a huge pop from the crowd, sliding into the ring with it as Maverick stands speechless in the middle of the ring.
Crowd: YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Paisner: Byrne found the Megaphone! We keep that under the ring in case our microphones accidentally cut out, but now it’s being used because the mics were cut out on purpose!!!
Mav looks exasperated and flabbergasted, as he talks in his mic.
Big Money Mav: Wha-.....what the hell is that?!
Byrne clicks the Megaphone on, and begins speaking into it for everyone to hear.
Byrne: This, Maverick…..is a megaphone…..
Crowd: YYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Byrne: Which runs off its own power supply, and can’t be controlled by any other device in the building.
Crowd: YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
Big Money Mav looks pissed off, and raises his mic to start speaking again, but Byrne cuts him off before he can even get a word out.
Byrne: Hold on, now that this is a back-and-forth conversation again, I have a question I need to ask.
Big Money Mav: And what the hell is that?!
Byrne: If you’re a fighting champion as you say, why won’t you defend your title right here tonight?
Crowd: YYYYEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
Big Money Mav: Are you deaf? I just said that you don’t deserve a title match!
Byrne: I wasn’t talking about me.
Mav starts to look a bit confused, as does the crowd to a lesser extent.
Byrne: If you’re really a fighting champion, and I’m not deserving on a title match, why don’t you defend it against someone else, tonight?
Crowd: YYYEEAAAAAAHHHH!!!
Big Money Mav: Are you blind? Look at me! I’m not wearing my ring gear, I'm wearing a suit! A suit that’s probably more expensive than most of these people’s houses!
Crowd: BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Big Money Mav: Don’t boo me for being factual! As a native Texan, it’s common knowledge that Austin is the biggest, poorest slum in this whole entire state!
Crowd: BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Byrne: Okay, so if you won’t face me, and you don’t have your ring gear this week, then why don’t you defend it against someone else, next week?
Big Money Mav: I’ll tell you why!!! It’s because…..because I…..I…..
Mav pauses, freezing as the gears start turning in his head, he stands looking increasingly uncomfortable as he can’t come up with anything to say.
Byrne: Did you run out of excuses, Mav? What happened to the “fighting champion” you claimed to be literally 2 minutes ago? You’re called “Big Money” Maverick right? So why don’t you put some of that money where your mouth is?
Maverick stares down Byrne from the top of the stage, and starts to look a bit determined, as he raises the mic to his face.
Big Money Mav: You know what, you’re right. You don’t deserve a title shot, but I know plenty of people who do! I’ll defend this title next week alright, and I'll defend against someone who actually deserves an opportunity!
Paisner: Well, there it is! Apparently we have a WiR World Title match next week!
Byrne looks at Mav and nods his head before looking down at the mat.
Byrne: That is….IF you make it to next week…….
Suddenly, Byrne drops the megaphone on the canvas, hops through the ropes out of the ring, and starts SPRINTING towards Big Money Mav!!!
Crowd: YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
Paisner: HERE COMES BYRNE!
Big Money Mav: OH SHI-
Mav drops the mic, grips his World Championship belt tightly and makes a beeline back through the curtain, with Byrne not too far behind him! We cut to cameras in the backstage area, and see Byrne come through the curtain, chasing Mav down the backstage corridor.
Crowd: YYYEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
Paisner: Byrne’s chasing Mav down!
Mav frantically runs away down the hallways backstage, and he knocks over a stack of boxes behind him as he runs, trying to trip Byrne up, but Byrne just hops over them and maintains about a 15 foot distance from Mav! Big Money Mav busts through the door to the parking lot, and sprints towards his limousine, yelling at the limo driver who’s already in the driver seat.
Big Money Mav: JOCK! START THE ENGINE!!!
We cut to Jock, the limo driver, who’s distracted playing a fishing game on his smartphone. Mav quickly approaches the limo and yells out even louder as Byrne starts gaining on him.
Big Money Mav: JOCK! THE ENGINE! START IT!!!!
Jock reluctantly closes his fishing game, and turns the keys that are in the ignition to start the limo. With Byrne in close pursuit, Mav tosses the WiR World Title in the limo through the open window, and he hops onto the roof of the limo, falling inside through the sunroof!
Big Money Mav: DRIVE! DRIVE!!!
The tires screech as the limousine takes off with Mav inside, Byrne only being mere feet away from the limo before it quickly drives off the lot. The crowd boos Mav’s escape as they watch on the video screen in the arena.
Crowd: BBBBOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Woodbridge: Damn! Big Money Maverick once again narrowly escapes Brendan Byrne!
Paisner: Mav remains unharmed ahead of his WiR World Title defense next week!
Woodbridge: But who will Big Money Mav’s opponent be? You won’t wanna miss next week, fans! We’ll be right back!
As the limousine gets smaller and smaller in the distance, the camera pans to Byrne looking on in the parking lot, looking out into the distance with an intense look on his face as we cut back to the ring. Where already there, we see Default Red and AKI Man, accompanied by The Superstar and Default Green.
Javier: From parts unknown, weighing in at a combined 470 pounds, Default Red, AKI Man, they are Create-A-Stable!
Crowd: Mild polite applause
We then hear this god forsaken theme come over the speakers, as it just plays, and plays, and plays….and plays….and plays….and plays….and plays…..before after nearly a minute we see Pakachio and Drillian rush out onto the entranceway. We see Pakachio with this exact meme airbrushed onto his tights, while Drillian is rocking the “Me Gusta” face on his.
Crowd: And introducing next, from Piscataway, New Jersey, weighing in at a combined 403 pounds, Hot’N’Ready!
Crowd: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
They rush down to the ring, as they hit the ring the ring and go to rush with spears at Red and AKI, however, Green and Superstar run into the ring to take the spears for them instead!
Crowd: WOAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Woodbridge: CAS knowing Hot’N’Ready’s opening strategy and countering by intentionally throwing themselves out as sacrificial pawns! Great strategy from them! Now look at what’s happening!
As Hot’N’Ready’s theme continues to play and Undersach desperately calls for order, Red and AKI go to take advantage of their stablemates sacrifice! Pouncing on Drillian and Pakachio with clubbing blows to the back!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
But these clubs don’t seem to have much impact, as Drillain and Pakachio very quickly and easily burst themselves out from it! Tossing CAS off them, as Pakachio jumps up to hit an enziguri to AKI Man! Stunning AKI Man as he falls out of the ring! Red tries to swing as Drillian amongst the chaos, but gets his arm caught, as Drillain twists around behind Green into a abdominal stretch on him! Which Pakachio quickly recognizes, and rushes to jump up and connect with a vicious superman punch to the head of the restrained Default Green! Drillain letting go of Green, who falls limply to the mat!
Paisner: HOT N READY GIVING A VIBE CHECK TO DEFAULT GREEN! THE BELL HASN’T EVEN RUNG!
Pakachio then rushes into the cover on Green!.....and after a moment too realizes the bell has not been rung, where upon he yells at an oblivious Drillian that the bell hasn’t rung, where Drillian rushes over to their tag corner and out of the ring after being informed! Undersach looks at the scene around the ring, shrugs, and calls for the bell and begins to count the pin from Pakachio!
DING DING DING
1!
2!
3!
DING DING DING
Javier: And your winners via pinfall at a time of 3 seconds, Ryan Drillian, Damian Pakachio, HOT’N’READY!
Crowd: WOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Woodbridge: BY GOD! IS THAT OUR FASTET VICTORY IN WIR HISTORY?
Paisner: Close Mark! It’s the fastest pinfall win possible, but Mark Dutch did secure a 1 second DQ victory over Hex when he get instantly kicked in the nuts that one time! Not our fastest victory, but I think very may well be our fastest decisive victory we’ve ever had! Could only get quicker than this with a DQ or instant tap-out!
Ringside crew instantly come to all of CAS’s side, all looken incredibly shook up and ashamed for the events that just transpired. As we see Hot’N’Ready jumping up and down and yelling with intensity over their victory!
Woodbridge: How…..how big of a win do you think this is in Hot’N’Ready’s eyes?
Paisner: I feel like they’re already convinced they got the tag titles very soon in their future solely over this at the least.
The two men then just keep slapping each other’s chests as they exit the ring with their sheer excitement and hype. Walking right by a Mia So Hung barely finishing a sandwich as she runs down to the ring to officiate the next match, seemingly have not expected to be out this quickly. However, as they’re partially up the entranceway, the lights suddenly go out.
Paisner: What's going on here?
Suddenly, the Gregory Gymnasium's entrance alley explodes in a display of light and color, as fireworks erupt from the ground, lighting up the gym!
Woodbridge: JEEZUS!
A few members of the crowd begin to panic, considering the fact it is inches away from them. The fireworks form into half filled shapes, as the roof of the gymnasium is too short to actually be able to fit a number of the full-sized fireworks. Nothing seems to catch on fire, but it's very hard to tell. The sound is deafening.
Paisner: MY EARS!
Eventually, the fireworks stop, the lights come back up, and a figure, dressed in a full tuxedo, begins walking to the stage, accompanied by an entire entourage of officials, numbering ten. Mia So Hung is completely confused by where there's another referee there. There are three separate people carrying ring bells. Hot'n'Ready, having been anticipating a backstage attack, attempt to make their way but are blocked by the crowd.
Woodbridge: Who is this guy?
Paisner: I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
Woodbridge: Well, none of these people were on the schedule, that's for sure.
The man makes his way to the stage, the ropes opened up by the group, particularly two out of the three separate timekeepers. He takes out a mic and a script, apparently not having time to memorize his lines.
Cowell: Esteemed guests, my name is Egbert Cowell and I am the special ring announcer for your MAAAAAAAAAAIN EEEEEEEEEEEVENT -
Woodbridge: This isn't our main event.
Cowell: THE DEXTER FLUX OPEN CHALLEEEEEEENGE!
Paisner: WHAT IS HE SAYING?
Some of the crowd cheers and claps politely, a number of their ear drums clearly harmed by the close fireworks.
Woodbridge: Well, it seems Dexter Flux has got a fancy side to him, after all. We have a positively extravagant display for the following event.
Cowell: FIRST OF ALL, YOUR CHAL - Does that say "chalanger"?
The person next to him reads it and nods. Cowell shrugs.
Cowell: CHALANGER! Any wrestler with a WiR contract is open to the challenge, as well as one lucky audience member. Check under your seats!
A number of audience members do check under their seats, but it seems the one with the special opportunity either isn't here or cannot hear the announcer telling them to check under their seat. Hot'n'Ready, still on the entrance ramp, looks at each other, shrug, and Pakachio makes his way to the ring. Mom's Spaghetti begins to play over the sound speakers again, to the cheers of the audience.
Cowell: YOUR CHALLENGER, DAMIAN PAKACHIO! AND NOOOOOOOW, YOUR REIGNING, DEFENDING, UNPRECEDENTING DEXTER FLUX!
Woodbridge: What is he defending?
Paisner: WHY IS THE SHOW ENDING?
Cantaloupe Island plays over the loudspeakers, to a smattering of cheers and occasional clapping, as the bulk of the audience is starting to recover from their bleeding ears and possible concussions. All eyes turn to the entrance ramp - but no one emerges. We cut to the announcer's table, where Paisner is cradling his ears.
Paisner: WHERE - Where's Flux?
Woodbridge: That's a great question. Can we get Chad Hammocks on the line?
Paisner: A very, uh, God my ears, confusing set of events here tonight.
Woodbridge: You can say that again?
After a few moments of waiting, we cut to Chad Hammocks behind the scenes, carrying a microphone and plugging his finger to his earbud. We intercut between them as they talk, a bit like a news report.
Paisner: Chad, what can you tell us? Where's Dexter Flux?
Hammocks: Well, that's a great question, Allen, but it doesn't seem like he's here.
Paisner: He's not here? Did he leave?
Hammocks: No, no, it just seems like he never showed up. I've been asking around and no one's seen him since he asked the finance department for the fireworks budget.
Woodbridge: How much was that, anyway?
Hammocks: Well, I'm told it was approximately a million dollars, but that doesn't include further expenses.
The two at the announce desk sit silently at the mention of a million.
Paisner: Million with an, with an "illion"?
Woodbridge: It looks like Mia So Hung is calling for the bell, with or without Flux. We're gonna start this match!
Paisner: Chad, I think there was some interference, did you say a million?
DING DING DING
DING DING DING
DING DING DING
Pakachio stands in the ring, as Mia So Hung begins to count to twenty. Everyone looks to the entrance, thinking Flux will rush in - but he just sort of doesn't. So Hung counts to twenty and the match ends. The three timekeepers ring their bells again.
DING DING DING
DING DING DING
DING DING DING
Woodbridge: Is that… is that it?
Cowell: YOUR WINNER, AT THE TIME OF 0:20, DAMIAN PAKACHIOOOOOOO!
The crowd is utterly bewildered. Pakachio raises his arms in victory and Mom's Spaghetti plays for a fourth time this night.
Woodbridge: Well, folks, this is certainly the outcome no one expected. We - we have an extra ten minutes of show to fill, now.
Paisner: A million dollars...
COMMERCIAL BREAK
We come back to the ring, where we see our commentary team brimming for more action, as they begin to speak.
Paisner: Coming up next fans, we have more action on the way, as Stephen Romero takes on Viktor Ivanov of The Vanguard.
Woodbridge: And given his assault on Ivanov's fellow tag partner Ernesto Vargas last wek, Stephen Romero best be careful here.
Paisner: Ivanov will for sure look to make an example of Romero tonight, but without further adieu let's take it to Javier in the ring.
We cut to Babaganoush in the ring, mic in hand.
Babaganoush: The following contest is scheduled for one fall…..
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Babaganoush:...with a 30 minute time limit. Your referee is Ivan Itchicock.
Itchicock waves to the fans in attendance. As the lights turn dark, we hear Animal by Fever 333 hit the speakers, as the crowd starts to come alive!
Crowd: YYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
The lights come back up, and Stephen Romero steps through the curtains to a pop from the Texas crowd! Stephen walks down the aisle looking fired up, fist-bumping the ringside fans as he walks towards the squared circle.
Babaganoush: Introducing First, from Sacramento, California, weighing in at 320 pounds…...STEPHENNNN….ROOOMMEEEEROOOOO!!!
Crowd: YYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
Paisner: And here comes Romero, looking eager to compete here tonight!
Woodbridge: I don't know if he's as eager as Ivanov, though! Ivanov had to be dragged away from Romero by Buster Braggadocio last week, one can only imagine that Ivanov has been waiting quite anxiously for this one.
Romero hops onto the apron, steps over the ropes, and climbs up to the turnbuckles to pose, as the crowd goes wild. Romero's music dies down, and is soon overtaken by The Sacred War by Red Army Choir
Crowd: BBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Ivanov comes marching through the curtains, looking rather focused tonight. He damn near speedwalks down the aisle, soaking in the boos from the fans but also looking mighty ready to get this match underway.
Babaganoush: And his opponent, from St. Petersberg, Russia, weighing in at 227 pounds…...VIKTOR…..IIIIIIVVANNOOOOVVV!!!
Crowd: BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Paisner: And sure enough, Viktor doesn't want to waste any more time!
Viktor quickly slides into the ring, and intensely stares across the ring from Romero. Viktor takes a deep breath, controlling himself, knowing that he's moments away from squaring off against Romero.
Woodbridge: This is sure to be a hard hitting affair, and referee Ivan Itchicock is about to start this one off!
Itchicock makes sure both men are ready, before calling for the opening bell!
DING DING DING
Paisner: One fall; thirty, Romero vs. Ivanov, here we go!
Romero and Ivanov look across from one another, Ivanov with a look of intensity in his eyes, as the two men begin to approach. Where we see the stark height difference, Ivanov standing a foot shorter than Romero. But still putting his hands up for a lock-up, that Romero obliges. The two men then begin to just push on each other, each wanting to show their strength! Ivanov standing up to Romero at first, but Romero’s significant size difference begins to become too much for even the sturdy Ivanov. As Romero begins to push him down and overwhelm Ivanov. Ivanov bent down near towards the floor, barely holding on in the lock-up as the 300-pound man enforces his will on him!
Paisner: Ivanov pound for pound incredibly strong, but when you’re 100 pounds down on your opponent, eventually you may still be overwhelmed!
However, eventually, we see Ivanov begin to rise back up! Straining his face and muscles to force himself up against Romero pushing back! Eventually, Ivanov makes his way fully up, and re-sets the stalemate in the lock-up! His face and muscles straining as much as they can, his feet digging into the mat as he pushes against Romero! The two men continue throwing all their strength at one another, trying to gain any ground on their opponent, before eventually, we see Ivanov successfully take a step in! Then another! And another, as he gradually brute forces Romero towards the ropes!
Crowd: WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
Woodbridge: May have spoken too soon Allen! Ivanov with his insane core strength standing up to a man a foot taller and 100 pounds heavier! Incredible!
Ivanov gradually pushes Romero closer and closer to the ropes, putting every single bit of energy he has to out-forcing Romero! Pushing Romero up to right before the ropes, before suddenly, Romero turns it back around! Not with just pushing Ivanov back, but with throwing all his strength into twisting, then TOSSING Ivanov off of him out of the lock-up! Ivanov sent down to the mat! Ivanov rushes himself back up quickly, and sents a hard chop into Romero’s chest! Emitting a loud sound throughout the venue!......but it doesn’t seem to phase Romero much, as he responds right back with his own chop! The chop flooring Ivanov!
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
But Ivanov goes to push himself back up quickly through it! Yelling at Romero to try and put him down again! And so Romero obliges, delivering another hard chop to the chest of Ivanov! Forcing him back down on the mat yet again…..but once more Ivanov pushes himself right back up! As he presses himself right against Romero, yelling up in Romero’s face in a burst of intensity, Romero yelling right back, as Ivanov then again fires in with one of his own chops! This one stunning Romero for just a moment!
Paisner: These two men coming out intense! Romero looking to stick up for himself against Vanguard and Ivanov looking for payback for taking out Vargas makes for some real low tempers!
The bit of stun gives Ivanov enough time to send in another chop just as Romero tries to respond back! Then another chop! And another chop! But Romero brute forces through the third one and instantly responds back with one of his own! Ivanov stumbles back from the impact, but does not go down this time! Romero then fires another chop into Ivanov, but Ivanov manages to stay up yet again! His chest reddening from the impact of Romero’s strikes! Romero then goes to fire another chop into Ivanov, but Ivanov blocks this one, and responds back with a clubbing forearm to Romero’s head! Rocking Romero just a bit, as Ivanov then goes to strike in with another forearm, but at the last moment, Romero catches hold of Ivanov’s arm, and strikes with his own forearm shot with the other arm! Sending Ivanov stumbling back! But after a moment, Ivanov comes back to strike up with a forearm to Romero’s jaw! Romero holds at his jaw for a moment, before striking back down with a hard elbow shot! Which Ivanov responds right back with one of his own, again to Romero’s jaw! Which Romero instantly strikes back against with another one of his elbow shots! Then Ivanov with his elbow strike! Then back to Romero’s strike! Then back to Ivanov’s! Then back to Romero as the two rapidly exchange elbows!
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
The two continue to trade until they begin to wear out a bit, resting their hands on their knees, breathing heavily from the exchange as they look down at the mat. Before turning their heads back up towards each other, and rushing each other each with running elbow strikes! Both men connecting at the same time, as we see Romero stagger back, and fall to a knee from the impact of Ivanov’s strike, and Ivanov crumple down, keeled over on the mat!
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Paisner: These two men absolutely taking it to each other! Romero looking to have done just a bit more, but certainly in far from ideal condition! After this start, how will these competitors-
???: OUT OF MY WAY CAULIFLOWERS!
Paisner is cut off by someone with a microphone shouting from the back of the venue, as we pan over to see Buster Braggadocio emerging from one of the fan entrances to the seating in the venue. As we hear him continue to yell out-
Buster: SEVERAL TIMES OVER THE PAST WEEK, I HAVE MADE A REQUEST TO PAISNER TO DO COMMENTARY FOR THIS MATCH, SO THAT I CAN SUPPORT MY BROTHERS IN HARD TIMES AFTER THE LOSS OF VARGAS-
Paisner: Oh Jesus-
Buster: BUT BECAUSE OF HIS TYRANNY OVER THIS PROMOTION, AND BLATANT RACISM, I WAS DENIED THE OPPORTUNITY!
Paisner: Alright, I’m beaming up a message to the sound guy to cut Buster’s mic, he should be out in a momen-HEY WHAT?!
Meanwhile, up next to the entranceway, we see a scuffle going on in the Soundbooth. Buster Braggadocio grabbing the sound operator and their assistants, and with his skills as a wrestler, either frightens them into running or physically tosses them out!
Crowd: BOOOOOO!
With the sound booth cleared of any threats to shut him off, we see Buster push one knob up to its max, and now in ear-splitting volume-
Buster: AND SO IN DEFIANCE OF THE RACISTS RUNNING THIS PROMOTION, I'VE TOOK THE ISSUE INTO MY OWN HANDS, I WILL NOT BE UNJUSTLY DENIED-
We then see Paisner stand up from the commentary table, grabbing a mic himself to sound out over to Buster-
Paisner: Buster, you requested for a commentary appearance that you should have "eight 7 foot tall black bodyguards to be anywhere near that brute" we do not just have that kind of thing on speed dial!
Buster: AND YOU KNOW WHY??? I'LL ANSWER IT FOR YOU, RACISM! IF YOU-
Meanwhile back in the ring, we see Romero having pulled himself back up by the ropes, as he looks on in bewilderment as to what is happening up in the soundbooth with Buster. As Buster continues to shout-out, we see Romero turn his head, and right into Ivanov taking his head off with a forearm right against the ropes! Romero is stunned, as Ivanov turns Romero around, and attempts a back suplex! Ivanov struggles at first, but gradually lifts Romero up, before taking him down with the back suplex!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOO!
Paisner: Not Ivanovs intent I figure, but capitalizing off of Buster creating a distra-
Buster: Incredible belly-to-back from Ivanov, referred to as the Uncle Tom Suplex! Invented in 1865 when brother Ulysses S. Grant hit it on Robert E. Lee to end slavery!
Paisner: Buster! Ulysses was white!
Buster: You have no proof of that!
Paisner: There are pictures of him!
Buster: Yeah, in black and white! Who are you to tell a black man what a person of color looks like in a picture with no color!
Ivanov then continues on the downed Romero, grabbing him by the head, lifting his head up, applying a mini-crossface, and pressing his knee on Romero's neck!
Crowd: OHHHHHH!
Woodbridge: And Ivanov looks like he's zeroed in on a game plan, after the back suplex which will already do some damage to the neck, he's looking to apply even more! Damn good idea, he likely can't match a 100 percent Romero for a whole match, so he'll make sure Romero is hurt so he can go blow for blow if not outmatch him. As well as weakening Romero's base for his strength!
Paisner: And can’t forget, one of his finishes involves a gutwrench piledriver. So softening that neck can do a lot to put Romero down with it earlier than he’d usually go down. The move does usually start from a deadlift which would obviously be hard to do to Romero, but I wouldn’t count out Ivanov to either pull it off or adapt well to changing how he performs it.
Ivanov pulls back on Romero's head to sit his neck at a torturous angle! We hear Romero grunt out in pain as Ivanov presses all his weight against this one part of Romero's body! Romero begins to claw his way towards the ropes, his significant strength allowing him to make quick progress towards them as he makes his way closer and closer! But as he nears the rope, Ivanov, loosening the grip on Romero's face but making sure to hold onto the head, stands up just enough to drop his knee back down onto Romero's neck!
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHH!
Ivanov then adjusts his hold onto Romero's head in a cravate, standing up Romero with him, and slamming his neck onto the ground in a cravate neckbreaker!
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHH!
Buster: Ivanov displaying his dominance over Romero! Showing how a chocolate cream filling with the vanilla cookie far outmatches the chocolate cookie with white cream!
Romero clutches at his neck on the mat, rolling onto his side, as Ivanov gets back in on Romero, dropping to the mat to clutch Romero in a headlock! Cinching it in tight on Romero, both taking the air out of Romero, and twisting around the hold to wrench on Romero’s neck as well!
Buster: And Ivanov applying a perfect headlock! Invented by Huey P. Newton in 1965 in order to choke out all the hWhites in Oakland!
Ivanov wrenches around the hold, Romero clenching his face in pain! Romero though tries to push through it, attempting to push himself up against the headlock wearing him down! Romero pushes himself up onto his knees, as Ivanov tries to wrench in the hold tighter and tighter to try and wear Romero out before he can get himself up! Romero gets up onto one knee, and continues to push up from there. His legs wobbly against Ivanov's forceful resistance! Romero continues to push his way up against the hold, getting nearly to a stand, before suddenly, Ivanov drops down to a knee and takes Romero with him! Romero back down on a knee himself! Ivanov looking to have re-solidified the headlock, before suddenly, Romero pops back up to his feet, and forces Ivanov off of him!
Crowd: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Ivanov is forced down to the ground on his back, but goes to get up as quickly as he can. Meanwhile Romero takes a moment to clutch at his neck in pain, as Ivanov tries to take the moment to rush back at Romero! But at the last moment, Romero recovers enough to respond, catching the running Ivanov with a knee to the gut! Instantly doubling Ivanov over! Romero then grabs Ivanov’s head, and sends a knee lift into Ivanov’s head! Dropping Ivanov down onto a knee!
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Romero then sizes up Ivanov, as Romero then hits the ropes, and comes back with a surprisingly agile move in a shining wizard to Ivanov's head!
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Buster: Disgusting move by Romero! That move takes it's name from the title given to high ranking members of the KKK! Romero again displaying his true colors!
Romero then goes into the cover on Ivanov!
1!
2! No! Kickout from Ivanov!
Ivanov forcefully gets the shoulder up, as Romero then grabs Ivanov, and hooks him in a front headlock as he lifts him back up. Romero then begins to lift Ivanov up, bringing him up into a vertical suplex! Romero holds Ivanov up in the suplex, showing off his strength as we hear the audience begin to count!
Crowd: 1! 2! 3!
But soon after the crowd begins to count, Ivanov manages to lower a knee right to the top of Romero’s dome! Knocking Romero shaky, before Ivanov lowers another knee into the dome of Romero, forcing Romero to release Ivanov lest he topple over! Ivanov then takes the moment to kick at the side of one of Romero’s knees! Instantly dropping him down to it as Romero grits his teeth in pain! Ivanov then hits this ropes, and in a surprise from him as well, he too performs a shining wizard! Romero completely collapsing to the mat!
Buster: What an incredible kneeling enziguri from Ivanov!
Ivanov then goes into the cover on Romero, taking a moment to be able to flip over the 300 pounds of Romero onto his back, but eventually doing so as he hooks the leg!
1!
2! No! Kickout from Romero!
Ivanov then grabs Romero, bringing him up slowly but surely, before whipping Romero into a corner! Ivanov then rushes at Romero, where he steps up onto the ropes as he nears the corner, and strikes Romero in the head with a stiff forearm!
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHH!
We hear him count the number “one” to himself in Russian, as he proceeds to do another step-up into a second forearm strike to Romero! Then another step-up into a third forearm strike to Romero! Then the same proces for a fourth! And a fifth! Ivanov counting to himself in Russian with each one!
Paisner: Ivanov looking to unleash all ten of Stalin’s Blows onto Romero!
Woodbridge: Ivanov can rock Romero rough as hell with these! He may make Romero look like I did last cycle on a Tennessee night!
Ivanov then continues on, stepping up and striking Romero with a 6th forearm, then a 7th one! Then an eight, ninth, and then when he delivers his tenth, instead of the head, he strikes with softened neck of Romero with the forearm! Dropping Romero to a seated position in the corner instantly, looking loopy as he clutches at his neck!
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Ivanov then takes the moment to head off to the opposite corner, as he eyes Romero down! Ivanov then rushes out of the corner, as he points his boot at Romero’s head! But at the last moment, Romero dodges his head out the way! Ivanov connecting with nothing! Romero flattens himself down to the mat, as Ivanov turns around and tries to get in a stomp, but Romero uses his long legs to kick and bat Ivanov away! Getting one to Ivanov’s head as he tries to bend down to grab him, keeping Ivanov away long enough for Romero to get the ropes and pull himself up! Ivanov then recovers from the boot to the head, shaking himself off just as Romero is to his feet, and charging at him! Ivanov runs and goes to leave a head shaped hole in Romero's chest with a headbutt to the chest! But Romero catches Ivanov's head! Romero quickly transitioning into a front headlock to raise his leg up and deliver a knee lift! Stunning Ivanov as Romero releases the hold! Romero then shoots in a left elbow to Ivanov! Then a right elbow, then left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, Ivanov's head snapping back and forth with each blow, before we hear Romero yell out, and do a spin in place into a discus elbow! Ivanov planted to the mat!
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Buster: Little known fact folks, the discus elbow was invented in 1861 when the Confederacy used it to fight Ulysses S. Grant's black liberation army! More shameful endorsements of white supremacy from Romero!
Romero looks up at Buster in the sound booth and rolls his eyes, as he goes to grab Ivanov, and picks him back up, setting Ivanov between his legs!