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History of the Swarmlords battles pre 10th!
2023.06.08 01:14 Negative_Sock4219 History of the Swarmlords battles pre 10th!
With 10th edition right around the corner and with its focus on the Nids. I thought it be fun to showcase the Swarmlords various battles and try and get a good idea where he should stand as threat. Since he can comeback stronger every time, I hope we get to see him fight someone like Trajann Valoris. If the nid are going to invade Terra that is.
BATTLES:
submitted by Negative_Sock4219 to 40kLore [link] [comments]
BATTLES:
- Vs Calgar: Couldn't find a quote, however it comes from "Codex Tyranid (5th & 6th edition)". At "the Battle of Cold Steel Ridge" on Macragge the Swarmlord directed Hive Fleet Behemoth to defeat every one of Marneus Calgar's tactics. Calgar himself was almost killed by the Swarmlord, but managed to escape alive with the help of his Honour Guard while the Swarmy killed the Commander of the Guard Aloyseus. The Swarmlord led the attack on the polar fortresses of Macragge defended by Captain Invictus of the Ultramarines' elite 1st Company. In the end, the entire 1st Company was killed and official Imperial reports listed the Swarmlord as slain at that time. Calgar has a rematch with Swarmy in Ichar IV. With Calgar evening the score by killing the Hive Tyrant.
- Vs Ortan Cassius: Couldn't find a quote, however it comes from "Space Marine Legends: Cassius". He killed the Swarmlord & his Tyrant guard with the assistance of a squad of like 10 marines. However, the only reason he managed to pull it off is because, the Swarmlord wanted to end the fight quickly. So, he resorted to a psychic attack. Unfortunately for Swarmy Cassius had been training with Tigurius on his psychic resistance. So, while the Swarmlord had his back on him. Cassius manage to recover quickly, and surprise attack the Swarmy. He hit Swarmy's head with a powered crozius. The Swarmlord's head was then doused with fire from Cassius' combi-bolter's flamer and was forced onto its knees. There Cassius' squadmates pumped its vital organs full of Hellfire rounds while the Chaplain repeatedly beat its head with his powered Crozius. This continued for a few minutes until Swarmy died.
- Vs Prince Yriel: to be honest not much of a fight. Swarmy kinda just gets one-shot by Yriel using a Crone-Sword. - (Valedor):
”He landed lightly upon the gory corpse of a fallen giant. Before him the swarmlord loomed, taller than a wraithknight and greatly more massive. Its eyes glittered at him with malign intelligence.
‘Great Dragon!’ Yriel called, holding aloft the Spear of Twilight. ‘I come to slay you, as my forefather Ulthanash slew the wyrm Draoch-var with this very blade!’
Three huge creatures lumbered at Yriel, directed by the psychic command of the leader-beast, but he leapt aside from their swipes, the spear granting him unparalleled reflexes. One and then another fell, pierced by the pin point lance beams of the prince’s followers as he bounded closer to his prey. Roaring, the swarmlord attacked, driving down a claw twelve paces long at Yriel. He back-flipped, the wind of its passing stirring his hair. The tip of the claw slammed down into a carcass, slowing the hive tyrant for the merest heartbeat as it tugged it free, but it was enough. The prince landed on his feet. Smoothly he drew back his arm and cast the spear of Ulthanash at the creature. The spear screamed a polyphonic wrath-song as it hurtled through the air, passing in an eyeblink to pierce the jaw of the swarmlord, drive up through the soft mouth into the swollen brain case, and emerge, gleaming, from the top of the armoured skull.
The swarmlord toppled, lifeless. Yriel yelled in exultation, feeling more alive than he had in many cycles. He had become jaded by his life as a corsair. But this! This was the theatre of life full in the round!
- Vs 3 Custodes: Fought three Custodians, killing two and was fighting on par with their Shield Captain. - (Duty Unto Death):
”A single pod cut through the toxic fumes and the burning sky, hammering into the centre of the plain and the milling confusion of the alien horde. There was an instant realignment, like constellations suddenly clarified in the heavens. The army turned as one, unified by singular purpose once more. The thing which tore itself free from the spore-pod was immense, the pinnacle of genetic mastery and a paragon of inhuman might. The greatest bio-scholars of Terra could not decide whether it was a consciousness in its own right, or an immune response of the hive mind – brought into being when the tide was set against it.
The swarmlord raised its head and bellowed as it rushed forward to meet them.
iIt closed the distance in what seemed like moments. A blur, the storm given form. Blades scissored down against the Custodians. They blocked, even their movements too slow. Bio-electric fields warred with the power fields of their weapons in a whine of feedback and a shower of sparks. It forced Varamach to his knees, and the great cleaver blade descended, burying itself in the armour of his neck. There was a spasm and a gout of blood, and he had only a moment to drive his spear up and into its flesh before he fell. Another loss, too massive to countenance. Natreus ducked under its guard and slashed across its chest, but the swarmlord brought all four of its blades to bear. It pinned Natreus, blades barely containing him as he struggled, blood coating them in furious smears. The Custodian’s spear fell from his grasp, and the swarmlord cast him to the dust.*
Only Tamerlain remained. He broke into a run, swinging his axe as he advanced. The heavy castellan blade impacted against one of the boneswords, chipping it. There was no surprise in its dead eyes, only a snarl of alien hate.
‘This is His domain,’ Tamerlain said, not caring whether or not it could hear or understand. ‘I am His servant, and you shall not end me with my duty yet undone.’ He moved beneath its dance of blades, feeling them scrape against his armour – turned aside by angle, speed and the armour’s inherent strength. It snarled, dripping venom as it stabbed down at him. He dropped to his knees, his hand finding Natreus’ spear. ‘Forgive me,’ he whispered, and drove the unpowered blade up with such force that it cracked the monster’s armoured sternum. It slammed one of its blade limbs into his side, and he brought his axe up again. An arm flew free in a gush of sour fluid, and it batted him aside with the flat of another blade.
They were evenly matched. Opposites. Mirrors. One the pinnacle of human genetic mastery, the other a crescendo of accelerated hyper-evolution. One was golden, the other base.
They fought down the burning slopes, even as the tyranid swarm wove around them in a tightening noose. By-blows obliterated swathes of brood organisms. The swarmlord did not care as it scythed through its own, as it drove Tamerlain back. He fought with every century of his experience behind him. He could feel the names carved into his armour, pressed against his flesh. Each carried a burden.
He moved as fast as he was able, raising his axe to block and parry or to cut and slash. Their melee devolved into a grinding brawl, drawn out and bitter. He tensed as he fought, feeling the dull ache of fatigue. He struck for its thorax, cleaving it open even as it brought two of its blades round.
It pincered him in place. He felt something break in his armour’s systems, his gauntlet clenching in palsy. He closed his eyes and focused. It was more gruelling and more intense than any Blood Game he had run in the service of the Throne, more pressing than any battle of his long years. He felt his fingers close, finally, around the hilt of his misericordia dagger, and pulled it free. He pushed it up and drove it into the thing’s snarling visage. Dissonator spirits engaged with a flare and the blade blazed golden for a glorious instant as it sank through flesh and chitin. The beasts screamed, every last one of them howling in animal agony.
Tamerlain kicked out his leg and drove the dying monster back. Behind him, the world roared again – in sympathetic victory.
- Vs Dante: - (Devastation of Baal):
" Fifty yards away was the largest hive tyrant Dante had ever seen. Upon backward-hinged legs it stood taller than a Dreadnought. Red spore clouds pumped from the chimneys on its high back. Bonded to its fists were four matched boneswords, with heavy ends as square and brutal as cleavers. He had heard of this thing, the galaxy’s bane, the hive mind personified.
Commander Dante faced the Swarm Lord.
His perception coalesced around the monster. Reality reasserted itself, his visions driven off by the sheer physicality of the hive mind. The past gave way to the present. The sounds of battle returned, albeit muted. The horde was broken into pieces. The howling of his blood-mad warriors was scattered, so isolated there could only have been a few of them left.
In the monster’s eyes glimmered an ancient and powerful intellect. As old as he was, Dante felt like a newborn babe compared to the intelligence staring at him through that unblinking gaze. He sensed that there were two beings looking at him. The monster, and the being that controlled it. They were separate, yet one. A sense of crushing psychic might emanated from it, so great its grasp encompassed galaxies. There was sophistication there, and terrifying intelligence, but all were outweighed by its bottomless, eternal hunger.
For the moment that the man and the monster stared into one another’s souls, Dante pitied it. The hunger of the hive mind made the Red Thirst trivial by comparison.
A rumble sounded in the monster’s throat. Muscle fibres exposed by gaps in its chitinous armour contracted; that was all the warning Dante received. There was no threat display, no roar to intimidate, it simply hurled itself into the attack. The hive mind was nothing if not efficient.
Despite its size, the Swarm Lord moved with staggering speed. Its alien anatomy made its attacks difficult to predict, and Dante found himself fending off a blur of jagged bone. Crystal veins glittered in the blades, generating a shimmering energy field like none Dante was familiar with.
The Swarm Lord’s weapons met the Axe Mortalis with a thunderous boom. Dante reeled back from the blow, letting out a brief blast from his jump pack to steady himself, dodging narrowly to the right to avoid a return strike from the Swarm Lord’s two left-hand swords. He ignited his jump pack fully, making a short leap backwards as the swords from the right smashed into the desert where he had been standing. The energy field encasing the blade exploded the sand.
As the beast slammed down its weapons he snapped off a quick shot with the perdition pistol. His aim was honed by centuries of practice. The meltabeam cut a roiling line through the air, connecting with the Swarm Lord’s lower left elbow joint. An explosion of steam carried the smell of broiled meat out towards Dante, and the thing’s arm went limp.
It made no cry of pain. As it moved forward, its useless arm snagged on the ground. With an total lack of human emotion, it severed the crippled limb with a sword blow and moved in to re-engage. Dante leapt again, jets on full burn. He swooped low, darting in to strike and withdraw. His fuel indicators plummeted, but Dante remained aloft, soaring away from bonesword strikes with expertly timed exhaust bursts. His blows left a dozen smoking scars in the Swarm Lord’s carapace. It responded with a buffeting storm of psychically generated terror that had no effect on the Space Marine lord, so deep in the thirst was he. The thirst grew in Dante until he stood on the brink of the Black Rage, a pit he could never climb from. He resisted the urge to finally throw himself in. The strength this last surrender would grant him would be formidable, but his mind would be gone for good, and so he would perish. Not until this thing was slain would he abandon his last shreds of self-control. He had to know that it was dead.
He focused on his hate, on his desire to kill, on his need to rip this interloper’s head from its shoulders and cast it to the sand.
The Swarm Lord’s armour was thickest on its shoulders, head and back. They duelled for long minutes, Dante landing so many blows that the edge of his fabled axe dulled, and its power unit vented black smoke. All his skill could draw but a little blood. The Swarm Lord snapped and swung at him with undiminished might.
Dante needed a decisive blow soon. The Swarm Lord’s endurance would outlast his own, and one lucky strike from the beast’s weapons could end the fight long before exhaustion set in. So Dante dived in again, axe held low in the manner of a cavalryman stooping in the saddle to strike with his sabre. Jinking through swinging boneswords and into the spore cloud issuing from the Swarm Lord’s chimneys, he raked the blade of his weapon across the leader beast’s face, catching it across one eye. He was momentarily blinded by the swirl of red microorganisms belching from its back, and forced to touch down.
The two combatants wheeled to face each other. The chitin around the Swarm Lord’s right eye was cut down to a gleam of bone. Ichor and humours from its ravaged eye wet its cheek.
Dante smiled coldly. ‘I shall take your other eye, and then I shall kill you.’ In return the leader beast shrieked, a psychic assault that channelled the polyphonous voice of the hive mind into a concentrated mental blow. Dante reeled under the combined sonic-psionic blast. Something gave inside him. He tasted blood at the back of his throat. His mind suffered more than his body, and he staggered back, dazed, his axe dragging through the sand.
The Swarm Lord seized the opportunity and ran at the commander again. Dante blasted backwards, but even as it charged the Swarm Lord assailed Dante with fresh psychic attacks, sending out a lance of psionic energy that cut through his armour into his leg and knocked Dante wheeling from the air. He slammed into the ground with bone-jarring force. His face slammed into his helm, breaking his nose. The terror field halo around Sanguinius’ golden mask buckled and gave out in a skittering crawl of psychic energy. His iron halo’s energy field failed with a bang.
The thing screamed again. Dante’s being was deadened from the soul outward. His vision swam. The energy his thirst gave him was stolen away. The Swarm Lord thundered at him, head down, three swords back, ready to strike. Dante regained enough of his wits just in time, activating his jump pack while he was still on his back. The jets sent him scraping across the ancient rockcrete and sand of the landing fields at high speed, drawing a shower of sparks from his armour. Alarms wailed from every system of his battleplate.
A second, brain-rattling impact shook him as he connected with the wreck of a Land Raider. The systems diagnostics for his jump pack wailed at high alert, red danger runes blinking all over his helmplate. With a thought, he jettisoned his jump pack, rolling free of the stuttering jump unit as the Swarm Lord barrelled into the tank wreck with such force it lifted from the ground. The Swarm Lord turned on him quickly, grinding Dante’s jump pack into a pool of fire and sundered metal under its broad hooves. The Land Raider slammed back down.
More alarms rang in Dante’s helm. On standard battleplate, a jump pack took the place of a Space Marine’s reactor pack, replicating most of its functions as well as providing limited flight capability. Without it, Dante was left in a suit of armour with only residual power.
He had seconds left of combat effectiveness at the most. Emergency battery icons clamoured for his attention, bars sliding quickly down to red emptiness.
The Swarm Lord screamed. Psychically induced horror buffeted Dante’s mind, tormenting him with dread. Dante roared back, unafraid.
‘I am of the Lord of the Blood,’ he said, as he broke into a run, the alarms of his dying armour wailing in his ears. ‘What I do, I do for he who made me. No personal ambition is mine. No glory do I seek. No salvation for my soul or comfort for my body. No fear do I feel.’ The Swarm Lord swung at Dante hard. Dante retaliated with a counter blow, shattering the bone sabre. Thick alien fluids pumped from the broken blade. The eye set into its hilt rolled madly, and it began to shrill. ‘By his Blood was I saved from the selfishness of flesh.’
The Swarm Lord was unmoved by the death of its symbiotic blade. The stroke continued downward, the remains of the sword catching Dante below his breastplate and penetrating his plastron. A combination of Dante’s impetus and the Swarm Lord’s immense strength punched the bone fragment deep into his body, penetrating his secondary heart, scraping on his spine, and exiting the other side of his torso.
The creature snarled in what would have been triumph in any other species. Dante’s formidable progress was arrested. Hissing deeply, the Swarm Lord lifted Commander Dante off the ground, armour and all. Warm blood ran down inside Dante’s bodyglove. Toxins leaked from the Swarm Lord’s weapon, sending spiders of agony crawling along his nerves.
‘By his Blood was I elevated.’ It was over. He began the Mors Votum. The Swarm Lord lifted him high, screaming in victory, and swung its arm down to flick Dante from the blade’s shard so it might finish him on the sand.
Reactive foams bubbled from Dante’s armour, bonding him firmly to the remnants of the Swarm Lord’s blade.
‘By his Blood do I serve.’
The beast hesitated, only for a fraction of a second, but it was enough. As it was raising its remaining two blades to cut Dante in two, the commander raised the perdition pistol. His armour died on him, its systems starved of power, growing heavier with every second as his life ran from his body. His aim did not waver.
‘My life I give to the Emperor, to Sanguinius, and to mankind,’ he intoned. The Swarm Lord’s face was reflected in the dulled metal of Dante’s mask.
Sanguinius’ face shouted silently at the hive mind.
Dante disengaged the weapon’s failsafes with a flick of his thumb.
‘My service is done. I give thanks. My life is finished. I give thanks. Blood returns to blood. Another will take up my burden in my stead. I give thanks.’
He fired the perdition pistol at point-blank range into the Swarm Lord’s face. Its flesh liquefied and boiled off as superheated steam. Its first bonesword bounced from Dante’s armour, ripping long scratches into its decoration. Bloodstones fell from their mounts. Still Dante held his aim true. The pistol’s power pack grew so hot with thermal feedback it blistered his skin through his ceramite. Still he did not relent. The fusion beam bored through the creature’s organic armour. Thermic biogels bled from cavities in the chitin, but they could not stay the perdition pistol’s beam. The weapon glowed with white heat. The Swarm Lord reared backwards. Its cries became gurgles as its tongue cooked in its head. Desperate to be free of Dante, it severed its own wrist with a clumsy strike. Dante blacked out for a moment from the pain of the bone shard jarring his organs as he hit the floor. When he came to he was lying on the ground. The Swarm Lord slumped to its knees alongside him. Its movements were feeble. Keening quietly, it fell forward, chest heaving. Air whistled through its breathing spiracles, then ceased. Dante rolled his head to one side. One of the boneswords lay close to his face. The eye set into its hilt stared hatred at him before dimming. The pupil dilated. The sword, too, was dead.
Dante took a painful breath. Fluid bubbled in his lungs. His body ached all over from the tyranid’s poison.
He was dying."
- Vs the Overfiend: Couldn't find a quote, however it comes from "War Zone Octarius, Book 2: Critical Mass". The Swarmlord face the second largest ork in the galaxy twice. The first time he charged at the Overfiend, battleling for hours nonstop. However, the Overfiend after getting a shot off at the Swarmlord's midriff, decapitated swarmy. Swarmy angrily was rebirth in a bioship ready for round 2. In said round the Swarmlord bid his time. Only jumping into the fight after the Overfiend had been wounded by a carnifex. He then uses his agility to evade the Overfiend's attacks, in an attempt to tire him. The Overfiend however never relented nor slowed down yet in the midst of a swing the Swamrlord found an opening. Which he use to cut the cable of the Overfiends power-claw. With his power-claw now slowing him down the Swarmlord made quick work out of him. Eating his brains in the process.
2023.06.08 01:14 spamgriller How effective is ceiling fan for distributing cold air across floors? (Photo in comments)
tl;dr: Is it worth spending ~$3k for a ceiling fan in a vaulted entryway in a house with single zone central AC to balance temperature across floors and cool down upper floor?
I'm in a ~4,000 sq ft house in Seattle area with 2 floors & finished basement. We have single zone central heating & AC, which is functioning quite well. Problem is on a hot summer day, when we crank on our A/C, the bedrooms in our second floor remain at around 76-80F as it receives heat from the roof above the vaulted ceilings, and the vents on 2nd floor get weaker airflows. Meanwhile our main floor will be chilly around 68F, and our basement will even be even colder at around 65F. Such large difference in temperature is very undesirable because we use all 3 floors, with guests often staying in basement guest room.
I'm not too keen on installing mini splits in each room, as I have 5 bedrooms on 2nd floor and think it will be too expensive.
I was initially trying to get quotes to install controllable dampers in the air ducts, so I can better direct the cool air vents to prioritize upper floor, but 2 companies that came by both said that seemed difficult based on my duct setup.
Instead company 1 suggested a whole house fan solution for ~$10k quote. 2 solar fans on opposite ends of the roof, which would shoot out the hot air out of the roof and, and in the process suck up the cold air from bottom 2 floors and cool down the entire upper floor.
And then HVAC company 2 came by to say that the small exhaust fan in my 2nd floor laundry room is essentially a whole house fan, and I can just turn those on, and that I shouldn't have to install a new whole house fan for $10k. He instead suggested I can install a large ceiling fan on my staircase/ entryway area where the chandelier currently drops down from the vaulted ceiling. He said turning that on should promote air circulation and help greatly with balancing temperatures between the two floors.
I am somewhat inclined to trust Company 2 guy, given that he recommended a solution that he makes no money off of (he doesn't provide ceiling fan installation service and he suggested i find a provider).
However i'm finding out this will still cost me more than I initially thought. Products from company he suggested seem to be around $2k (Big Ass Fans - Haiku). And for installation labor it's looking like ~$1k given they would need to use scaffolding.
I would be happy to spend $3k for this solution if it indeed accomplish what I would like, but wanted to get some second opinions. I would call it success if it can help me narrow the temperature gap and leave me with something be like ~68F in basement, ~70F main floor, and ~74F upper floor....again the problem is with balancing the temperatures through the house, and not the raw power of the central AC.
What I would like to avoid is spending the money and it not having much of an impact on temperature balancing.
submitted by spamgriller to hvacadvice [link] [comments]
I'm in a ~4,000 sq ft house in Seattle area with 2 floors & finished basement. We have single zone central heating & AC, which is functioning quite well. Problem is on a hot summer day, when we crank on our A/C, the bedrooms in our second floor remain at around 76-80F as it receives heat from the roof above the vaulted ceilings, and the vents on 2nd floor get weaker airflows. Meanwhile our main floor will be chilly around 68F, and our basement will even be even colder at around 65F. Such large difference in temperature is very undesirable because we use all 3 floors, with guests often staying in basement guest room.
I'm not too keen on installing mini splits in each room, as I have 5 bedrooms on 2nd floor and think it will be too expensive.
I was initially trying to get quotes to install controllable dampers in the air ducts, so I can better direct the cool air vents to prioritize upper floor, but 2 companies that came by both said that seemed difficult based on my duct setup.
Instead company 1 suggested a whole house fan solution for ~$10k quote. 2 solar fans on opposite ends of the roof, which would shoot out the hot air out of the roof and, and in the process suck up the cold air from bottom 2 floors and cool down the entire upper floor.
And then HVAC company 2 came by to say that the small exhaust fan in my 2nd floor laundry room is essentially a whole house fan, and I can just turn those on, and that I shouldn't have to install a new whole house fan for $10k. He instead suggested I can install a large ceiling fan on my staircase/ entryway area where the chandelier currently drops down from the vaulted ceiling. He said turning that on should promote air circulation and help greatly with balancing temperatures between the two floors.
I am somewhat inclined to trust Company 2 guy, given that he recommended a solution that he makes no money off of (he doesn't provide ceiling fan installation service and he suggested i find a provider).
However i'm finding out this will still cost me more than I initially thought. Products from company he suggested seem to be around $2k (Big Ass Fans - Haiku). And for installation labor it's looking like ~$1k given they would need to use scaffolding.
I would be happy to spend $3k for this solution if it indeed accomplish what I would like, but wanted to get some second opinions. I would call it success if it can help me narrow the temperature gap and leave me with something be like ~68F in basement, ~70F main floor, and ~74F upper floor....again the problem is with balancing the temperatures through the house, and not the raw power of the central AC.
What I would like to avoid is spending the money and it not having much of an impact on temperature balancing.
2023.06.08 01:13 FlashyAd7145 worth the pickup?
 | came across this type s and was wondering if it was worth the buy between 5.5-6k. owner states there aren’t any mechanical issues, mostly cosmetic(paint and semi torn seats) submitted by FlashyAd7145 to AcuraTL [link] [comments] |
2023.06.08 01:13 Heyitsameamarioo Better video of revs Cobb SS exhaust 2022 wrx (tips are just titanium, not whole system).
 | submitted by Heyitsameamarioo to wrx_vb [link] [comments] |
2023.06.08 01:09 Heyitsameamarioo Titanium tips for Cobb exhaust
 | submitted by Heyitsameamarioo to wrx_vb [link] [comments] |
2023.06.08 00:58 Superyabi How to keep improving yourself after being EXHAUSED from 9-5
I was on a solid self improvement then I started working my 9-5 summer job and it started EXHAUSTING me, and I feel too drained to do all my self improvement things, tips on how ppl balance work and bettering yourself?
submitted by Superyabi to selfimprovement [link] [comments]
2023.06.08 00:17 Azure_Infinity [Fanfiction] The Haar Chapter 10: Birmingham and Boise
Hanazuki and Miyuki hadn't returned.
That didn't bode well. And although Impero retained her lazy, almost laid-back disposition, one could see the unease crinkling at the corner of her eyes, her brow dipped into a frown as she mulled over what happened – before, after only a brief delay, sent out a team to check up on them.
The main fleet was starting to become a bit stretched, however. Although they were several dozen in number over half of them were spread out in a forward fan shape as they progressed towards their main objective. As such only four could be spared to go hunt for their missing Destroyer duo – a party consisting of four cruisers; two light and two heavy. Enough firepower to handle most of what the island had thrown at them thus far, but not so much that it granted them overconfidence.
Not that she'd ever fall prey to overconfidence, Birmingham thought to herself.
The red-haired cruiser wandered through the forest with fast strides, her jog slowing as she took a moment to assess her surroundings. She was near the junction where Hanazuki and Miyuki had gone – a fact confirmed when she spotted the bushes nearby had been trampled by rudder-ended boots, the tracks still fresh. However there was no signs of a struggle, indicating that if there was anything wrong then it happened deeper into the forest.
Birmingham glanced behind her. Boise followed close behind her, shy and skittish, whilst a step behind was Maya and Ashigara – two Heavy Cruisers from the Sakura Empire. She could appreciate Maya's seriousness about the matter, especially with her skilful swordsmanship, but she was a little more sceptical about Ashigara's. Though a Myouko-class cruiser she seemed rather skittish in this environment; chasing shadows and flinching at every distant shell fired. She wasn't scared per se, but it was clear that the nigh-suicidal onslaught of monsters had rattled her slightly.
As if sharing the same thought Maya looked back at her companion, nudging her. ''Relax. Stay focused.''
Ashigara started a little but hurriedly nodded; drawing in a cleansing breath and managing to regain some of her nerve. Birmingham hummed at that and looked ahead, silently leading her companions further into the woods. It wasn't long until the land descended into a natural basin, and a quick search yielded results, albeit not the ones they were hoping for.
Torn clothes. Broken bits of rigging. Even blood, in some cases. The girls had been attacked here, of that there was no doubt, but the absence of bodies was unnerving.
''Either they managed to escape and went further in, or they were dragged off.'' Maya made her thoughts clear, staring pointedly at Birmingham. They had to go further.
Grimacing Birmingham nodded her assent, continuing to lead her small sortie group ahead. It almost felt weird leading two Heavy Cruisers, given flagship roles usually went to the capital ships, but she wasn't complaining – maybe Impero thought she had better commanding skills. That, or the carrier was just too lazy to do an in-depth assessment of their skills and just gave her the role on a whim. Which, considering they needed to find their missing comrades ASAP, she supposed was somewhat warranted. Find the injured first, bicker about command roles later.
Shaking her head to dispel the thought Birmingham focused on the other end of the basin, reaching it soon enough. Vines, moss and other bits hung from the slanted rock but it felt surprisingly firm, refusing to budge when she tugged and emboldening her to use them as climbing tools – grunting as she hauled herself up bit by bit. The others followed her carefully, making sure not to overload the edge of the basin lest their combined weight cause the dirt and stone to crumble, but in the end they all reached the top of the basin without issue.
''Where to now...?'' Boise spoke up, her face-mask muffling her voice somewhat.
'Where to indeed.' Birmingham frowned, looking about. Unlike before there was no convenient trail of blood, just a vast green in all directions, broken up only by the thick wood of the trees.
Ashigara broke the quiet. ''Do you think they went down to the coast? It's not that far, and if they got on the water they'd be safe from the monsters.''
''Possibly.'' Maya conceded with a frown. ''But if so, then they would've given us a signal of some kind.''
''Maybe they did, but just after we left?'' Ashigara floated the idea.
Birmingham frowned, however; her eyes scanning the grass in the opposite direction of the ocean. Now that she looked closer she could spot finer details she'd initially overlooked; the grass trudged down by monster footprints, partially hidden by the overgrowth. When she did a little loop around their area though she noticed a second trail, one that went towards the ocean.
''Two paths.'' Birmingham voiced her thoughts grimly. ''...this almost smells like a trap.''
''Doubtful.'' Maya weighed in, thumbing the handle of her katana idly. ''These monsters don't seem to have enough intelligence for that. Ambush? Yes. Luring in with footprints? That's too advanced for them.''
Birmingham had to agree with that. Though some of the monsters that had attacked them showed intelligence, it was of the more bestial kind. Encirclement, probing attacks, wave attacks, that sort of thing. Primitive and basic but effective in some sense; if they kept it up for long enough they'd eventually run out of ammo, not that the monsters could know that. Still, something like luring stragglers away from the main fleet felt a bit too above their intelligence level.
''Should we split up then?'' Birmingham murmured. ''The whole reason Impero sent us together was for you to support us...''
''True.'' Maya sighed. ''Still, I'd rather not have to backtrack and look in two places at once, especially when their lives on the line. Every second we spend here is another that could be their last.''
A grimace marred Birmingham's visage and she nodded. ''Fine. You go check the one nearer the coast, we'll go further inland. Ripple fire into the sky if you find them, we'll meet back up here, or fall back into the basin if attacked.''
''Sounds good to me. Good luck.'' Maya turned and fast-walked down the other faint path. ''Ashigara, let's go. You take the lead.''
''R-Right!''
Birmingham watched the Heavy Cruiser go, almost wanting to go back on her word and stick with them – but she quashed such feelings. Time was of the essence here – what did safety matter if they only found Hanazuki and Miyuki's remains? Nodding at that she spared a sharp look at Boise, earning a shaky nod from her peer, before as one they fast-walked towards the deeper parts of the forest.
'Please be safe, you two...'
X-x-X
Boise wasn't sure how long they'd been walking. Five, ten, fifteen minutes?
The forest around them grew slightly thicker but otherwise it remained identical to the section of forest before it. From time to time they'd pass near a river but monsters seemed to lurk near it, either for a drink or drawn in by the sound, she didn't know. Regardless they kept their distance and sneaked around what monsters they could, both to avoid detection and to save ammo.
Just as Boise was beginning to worry that their search was fruitless, though, they discovered something new – a burrow. That in itself wasn't the weirdest thing – the monsters probably had to sleep somewhere – but what was notable was that a Lizardman crawled out of the depression in the ground and skittered off into the forest, no doubt to look for more prey. The pair of them stayed still in a bush, not a breath escaping them until the yellow-scaled Lizardman was long out-of-sight, allowing the pair to breathe freely.
''S-Should we check it out...?'' Boise tentatively asked. The idea of going into a burrow was a highly unsettling one, especially if the monsters came back, but after searching for so long this was the most likely place for Miyuki and Hanazuki to have been taken to.
Birmingham grimaced, then nodded. Quiet as she could she crept out from their hiding spot and crouched low as she crossed the tiny clearing. The burrow was just next to a tree; the thick roots spreading out in all directions and with some foliage hanging over it like camouflage, doing little to hide the depression in the dirt that went down like a slide. It was about as slippery as one too; her footwear struggling to get a firm grip on the dew-covered grass, forcing her to get down on her hands and knees and crawl down.
Darkness quickly engulfed her as she passed under the hanging roots, only the dim gloom of the sky outside to light her way. As her eyes adjusted though she was surprised to see this was not some tiny dirt burrow fit for a single, but an entire, expansive room that networked into others. Shy of about six feet high and probably about eight or nine feet wide in diameter it was unsettlingly spacious, though then again considering the size of the Lizardmen she supposed they'd need a bigger burrow than a traditional lizard.
However she could hear something. A distant noise, faint but repetitive. Breathing? No, it was sharper than that. Wheezing. Wounded? Maybe.
Grimacing Birmingham rose to her feet, waiting for Boise to join her before she began to trek towards the leftmost tunnel. It was painfully narrow, forcing her to de-summon her rigging just to fit through, not that her rigging would do her any good underground. She'd sooner bury herself alive than kill anything outright. The thought sent a chill up her spine but she tried to ignore how defenceless she was right now – she'd been in situations like this. Situations where firepower wasn't enough, so stealth wasn't just an option, but a necessity.
The tunnel grew slightly narrower, eventually tapering off but with dirt piles around the floor, as if it was still being excavated. However Birmingham's main focus was on the suspicious sound, her footsteps slowing and growing quieter as she neared the edge of a doorway; the arch having nothing to hide her as she poked her head around-
-and found Hanazuki and Miyuki.
Naked.
With Lizardmen on top of them.
The sight made her freeze up, shocked silent. For a long moment she just stood there and watched as the two lizards mating-pressed the naked Destroyers into the dirt; harsh smacks of flesh mixed with their animalistic grunts. However while Miyuki was worryingly silent, unconscious, Hanazuki was not – soft, defeated whimpers escaping her every time the Lizardman pressed its cock down into her depths, squelching its fluid out of her but not pushing any of its eggs out.
Birmingham got over her shock quickly though, anger soon to take root. Was it because these monsters all seemed to be male, was that why they'd taken two Ship-Girls and... bred them? To repopulate their numbers? The prospect was worryingly high but Birmingham soon crushed such thoughts; silently walking out into the small, enclosed space, one just big enough for her rigging to manifest.
She wouldn't be able to shoot it, but that didn't mean she was defenceless. Far from it.
Rearing her right hip back she tensed – and then just as the leftmost Lizardman raised its head she swung, smashing the side of her rigging into its head. Its skull dented inwards and the creature fell to one side, thrashing, but she wasn't looking at it anymore; her eyes darting to the right Lizardman. It noticed her and had the benefit of her being a foot or two away, pulling its glistening cock from Miyuki's abused folds as it stood.
Then Birmingham was in front of it, punching it straight in the throat. The humanoid staggered and clasped as its throat, gargling in surprise, but its moment of surprise was enough for her to smash her rigging into it and knock it down. It was dazed but far from dead, forcing her to stomp down on its head – gritting her teeth as she put every ounce of strength into it.
Thud-!
Thud-!
Thud-!
'Die dammit!' She could hear the other Lizardman, injured but alive, rising back to its feet.
Finally one more brutal stomp crushed the creature's skull in properly. She felt sick as blood and viscera spurted up her shin but anger and fear was a good deterrent; keeping her last meal down as she spun – just in time too, as the other Lizardman staggered over to her, claws out and a snarl on its dented face, bone poking out from between uprooted scales.
Until Boise stepped in, squeaking as she rammed into its side. It hit its head on the dirt wall and fell between Miyuki and Hanazuki, snarling and shifting, but a solid kick to its skull from Birmingham made a disgusting crack sound, and its head went limp, Broken skull, snapped neck, she neither knew nor cared. All that mattered was that it was dead.
Birmingham released a heavy breath. ''Thanks.''
''I-It's fine.'' Boise answered but sounded shaken. Birmingham didn't blame her – whether because of her own actions or the sight of Hanazuki and Miyuki, this was just... just a mess.
She squirmed as she felt blood dribble down into her shoe. 'Don't think about it, get these two out and signal Maya. Move.'
Her own orders helped motivate her and she hurried over to Hanazuki, leaving the unconscious Miyuki to Boise. When she knelt by the pink-haired fox-girl she winced at the array of still-bleeding cuts marring her body, be it on her medium-sized breasts, along her stomach and sides or even on her hips and thighs; the creature's claws clearly having held her many a times. She pointedly ignored looking at the overflowing whiteness leaking out of the Destroyer's pussy too, instead taking her cape off and draping it over Hanazuki.
''We'll get you out.'' Birmingham said shortly as she tied the cape.
Hanazuki tried to say something but was too overcome by emotion – relief, fear, anxiety and shame, all of it twisting into a sobbing mess that tugged on Birmingham's heartstrings.
Alas just as she scooped the fox-girl up she heard it – movement, outside the burrow. The sound made her nearly curse and she hurriedly evaluated her options. Only one way in or out, using her guns would likely bury them alive – and for all Ship-Girls were lauded for their strength they still needed to breathe – whilst the Lizardmen had no such issues; equipped with claws that were well-suited to cramped spaces like these. And with them carrying Hanazuki and Miyuki they wouldn't be able to fight beyond maybe a kick at best, and she hardly doubted that'd be enough to do anything but baffle a Lizardman.
She drew in a breath and hissed through her teeth, pulling Hanazuki close to her chest. If they were going to escape they couldn't find – and couldn't hide either. No, they needed to run. To brute force their way through. No riggings, no weapons. Just sheer momentum to blitz past them.
''Boise.'' Birmingham whispered, watching as the bustier cruiser gently cradled Miyuki. ''When I leave this room we run. Don't stop to fight, don't try and help me if I fall, just charge straight past anything in your way until we get to the surface. We can't fight them down here.''
Boise gave her a worried look and she felt Hanazuki clutch at her, but when the bustier woman hesitantly nodded Birmingham moved – fast-walking into the hallway and darting down the corridor, building speed as she gave up stealth and just charged. The noise attracted attention and she heard skittering-
-and then a Lizardman was there, leaping from its hiding spot with a snarl. It didn't get the chance to grab her before Birmingham ran bodily into it, Hanazuki crying out in fear as she was squished between them – before her momentum knocked the monster onto its back. Birmingham didn't stop to attack it though and kept running, reaching the slope out and running up it-
But she'd forgotten. It was slippery, uneven. Boots wouldn't grip easily, especially going up.
So when her boots slipped out from under her Birmingham couldn't deny the jolt of fear that shot up her spine, losing her grip momentarily until she grabbed at the uneven mass of dirt and grass, nearly dropping Hanazuki had the Destroyer not been holding onto her so tightly. Using her newfound handhold she propelled herself up further, hearing Boise behind her-
''Hwah?!''
When Boise screamed in fear. Birmingham jerked her head to one side, looking back, and very nearly cursed as she saw Boise be dragged back by her shin – the Lizardman she'd left behind already recovered. Instantly her plan was in tatters; if she kept going she was leaving Boise and Miyuki to their fate, and if she stayed she'd likely be blocked off-
Too late; another Lizardman at the top of the slope lunging down at her. Birmingham had no choice but to fall back, throwing Hanazuki to one side and hearing the fox-girl land with a pained yelp, but she ignored that for now – her attention fully on the monster lunging down at her, landing just shy of her thanks to her momentum throwing her back. However by the time she stood it was there, throwing itself at her faster than she could summon her rigging and snatching her wrists, pinning her down.
Panic rose up within her, memories of what happened to Hanazuki and Miyuki mere minutes ago flashing through her mind. With force she kicked her legs out, hitting the monster's stomach but the scales killed most of the force, its hissing snarl sending a chill up her spine – and a pained cry fled her lips when it tightened its hold, threatening to crush her wrists with its strength.
Then it suddenly shifted both her arms up, pinning them together with just one hand – freeing its other and allowing it to rake its claws down her front. Cloth gave way frighteningly easily and soon her dress was in two parts, splitting open down the middle and laying bare her dark blue underwear, the thought heating her cheeks up. However that same embarrassment turned into fear as she saw the Lizardman's cock swell between its leg, long and thick, prompting her to try and kick it in the groin – but the creature had enough sense to block such attacks, ripping her panties off at the same time.
'No...' Birmingham felt dizzy as her nether regions were exposed to the damp, musky air, her struggles becoming even more vicious as the monster leaned over her, the tip of its dick rubbing against her folds.
Rubbing, not penetration. Teasing her. Taunting her.
Birmingham gritted her teeth, her breathing short and fast as the bulbous tip of its shaft rubbed against her pussy lips, went high and rubbed up her groin before coming back down again. Her struggles did little to stop it but it gave her some minor amount of confidence, of control; her legs closing as much as she could with it between them, hips lifting and falling as she kept it away from her private parts as best she-
The tip teased her opening – and Birmingham screamed as it suddenly went in. It felt thicker than she expected, parting her virginal walls and hilting inside her in a single, harsh thrust, knocking the air out of her. The pain came a second later but she barely had a moment to soak it in before the monster yanked its cock halfway out only to slam right back into her deflowered pussy, forcing a shout of pain out of Birmingham.
She struggled once more, kicking and twisting and flailing, but the Lizardman just snarled in her face and kept moving, roughly burying itself into her. It didn't care that her legs flailed on either side of its hips, that her hips lifted and fell unevenly in some attempt to make its dick slip out – it just kept pressing its body down against hers and mated with her, thrusting its thick girth into her and making Birmingham cry out in pain.
''Gh! Mnph-!'' Biting her tongue until it bled Birmingham threw her head from side to side, enduring the stabbing pain in her loins – the deep, repeated impacts to her cervix as the Lizardman had its way with her.
As it defiled her.
She tried to push it out, to ignore it as best she could. Even when the Lizardman hissed and snarled in her ear Birmingham didn't give it the satisfaction of hearing her cry out, her teeth on her tongue as she took the pounding – its meaty cock spearing between her despoiled petals and hilting in her innermost parts, sending jolts right up her stomach and banging her head on the dirt, but she didn't react. She just laid there and took it like the good little broodmare it wanted her to be, waiting for an opening, a chance to knock its lights out and get help.
She felt it throb inside of her quickly, its shaft swelling against her sore insides and its tip kissing her depths, the realisation hitting – and no sooner had it before the Lizardman snarled and impregnated her. A flood of warm fluid poured into her depths, thick and sticky like semen but lacking sperm. In their place though she felt many tiny eggs push up into her womb, nestling against her depths in a torrent, nearly making her sick as she realised she'd been claimed, just like the others.
Even if she escaped this hole, the monster's seed would remain within her, making her its unwilling mother for its brood.
Birmingham was torn from her thoughts though her wrists were released – and no sooner had they been freed did a meaty hand grab her hair, yanking her upright. The cruiser cried out in pain but it gave her some weird clarity, feeling more than seeing space behind her. Her opening. She called upon her rigging and it manifested, finally having the space, her guns trained and ready to fire-
But she never saw the Lizardman behind her. The moment it spotted her rigging it attacked with vigour, seething out a wet breath as it raked its claws through her turrets, instantly incapacitating them. Birmingham flinched and tried to fire but her guns wouldn't operate – and to her despair they were reduced to metal scraps within seconds, literally ripped off of her. The only reason she wasn't pulled back with them was the iron grip on her hair, and the dick she was still impaled upon.
As if to remind her of that the Lizardman holding her sneered in her face, shifting both hands to her hips and holding tight... and Birmingham froze as she felt a second cock poke her ass.
And then she screamed as the other Lizardman eagerly buried its cock in her ass – up until a third, sneering Lizardman came up to her left, shoving its cock in her mouth and pulling her hair, forcing it to pleasure it as its kin began to fucked her other holes, using her not solely for breeding, but also their own animalistic pleasure.
Her fate, forever, sealed.
X-x-X
Boise was just climbing the slope, her pace fast, when she felt the clawed hand curl around her ankle.
Then suddenly she was yanked back down, Miyuki tumbling from her grip as she instinctively reached to grab onto something. Nothing was to be found, however, and soon she found herself thrown to the dirty ground – the Lizardman on top if her. Boise flinched back, crawling back, but the monster just grabbed her left thigh and forcefully lifted it up – its other hand going up her dress and grabbing her crotch.
Before with the harsh tear of cloth it ripped her panties off. Her heart skipped a beat – but unlike Birmingham she didn't have the fight, the fire, to keep moving. She froze up completely, paralysed with realisation and terror as the Lizardman got on top of her, and only when she felt something rub against her vagina did she snap out of it and begin to move-
''Agh!''
Then it was inside of her. Thick and solid it pushed apart her virgin insides, the pain sharp and intense enough to nearly make her black out for a split-second – her mind purged of all thought as the monster cock slammed into her, deflowering her. The shock lasted for just a few seconds though; banished the moment the monster dug its nails into her raised right thigh and began to fuck her properly; short, eager pumps burying it into her pussy.
''A-Ah! N-No, stop- mn!''
Her face mask muted her voice somewhat and gave it an echoing quality, making her pained cries all the more haunting as the monster pistoned itself into her, its flesh smacking against her own repeatedly and harshly. Through the tears in her eyes she spied multiple more Lizardmen returning, either drawn in by the sounds or the attack on their home, and to her despair a terrified Hanazuki was shoved up against the wall, her limbs flailing as he pleaded – before a thick, girthy cock forced itself into her defiled pussy, making her wail as the monster eagerly began to mate with her. Miyuki too wasn't spared, the unconscious girl rolled onto her front before the Lizardman began to mate with her prone-bone; smacking her small rear with every harsh thrust.
Boise was brought back to her own predicament though as another Lizardman knelt by her face. Its large clawed hand grabbed her mask without warning and pulled hard, lifting her head with it, prompting her to reflexively pull back... until with a harsh snap her mask's straps broke, causing it to fly off and to the side. Boise opened her mouth to cry out but before she could do that something touched her lips – and then something thick shoved itself into her mouth. Boise's eyes bulged and she cried out in alarm, the noise muted as the two Lizardmen eagerly began to spitroasted her on her side, their scales smacking against her flesh and filling the quaint burrow. Her thigh began to bleed from how harshly the monster gripped it but the pain was nothing compared to the ache in her loins, its dick slamming up against her cervix relentlessly.
''Mmph~! Mrph!'' Boise frantically flailed her hands about, trying to grab and push, desperation hastening her motions but hampering her aim.
Until eventually the Lizardman defiling her mouth just grabbed her wrists and held them down, snarling as it slammed between her lips, hurting her teeth and thrusting down her gullet, choking her. Her raspy, spluttering breaths did little to deter the overgrown lizard from face-fucking her though, bruising her nose with every harsh impact and sending stars flashing behind her eyes; not helped by the thick shaft plunging up into her womanhood.
Suddenly her left wrist was freed – the reason becoming evident as the newfound claw raked at her chest, ripping the cloth apart and revealing her large, squishy tits to the monsters. Boise barely had the time to feel self-conscious before her right tit was grabbed and squeezed harshly, forcing a muffled cry out of the cruiser as her tit was manhandled, her head shaking as best she could with a dick going down her throat.
Then suddenly she was forced onto her back completely, the Lizardman coming with her as it straddled her collarbone and grabbed her head with both hands, hissing in delight as it forced its meaty cock down her throat. Boise's eyes watered but she could do nothing but take it, her eyes soon screwing shut just so she didn't have to look at the monster's groin – acutely feeling its balls hitting her chin over and over again. The other Lizardman between her legs didn't relent either, its girth parting her abused folds and raking her tender insides with every pounding thrust, its cock smooth but uncomfortably girthy, stretching her virginal sex out with every thrust.
''Mn! Mmph! H-Hn-!''
Then suddenly the one between her legs hissed; and then came. Boise spasmed as she felt jets of warmth pour up into her womb, the foreign sensation terrifying – made all the more so as she felt numerous eggs pour into her baby chamber. The one mounted on her face though kept going, snarling and hissing as it face-fucked her, seeming to slow down even just to endure it.
The reason why though became evident as the Lizardman between her legs pulled out – and the one on top of her pulled its dick out of her mouth, got between her legs, and then plunged inside. Its clawed hands grabbed her hips and it savagely pounded her, fucking cries of pain out of Boise but no resistance beyond that – lacking the strength to. The will to.
And so when the Lizardman soon emptied its balls inside of her, hissing with primal satisfaction as it laid its eggs inside of her defenceless womb, Boise could only lay there, defeated and exhausted by the ordeal, her pussy sore and overflowing with white fluid.
The breeding process, continuing on.
submitted by Azure_Infinity to AzurLane [link] [comments]
That didn't bode well. And although Impero retained her lazy, almost laid-back disposition, one could see the unease crinkling at the corner of her eyes, her brow dipped into a frown as she mulled over what happened – before, after only a brief delay, sent out a team to check up on them.
The main fleet was starting to become a bit stretched, however. Although they were several dozen in number over half of them were spread out in a forward fan shape as they progressed towards their main objective. As such only four could be spared to go hunt for their missing Destroyer duo – a party consisting of four cruisers; two light and two heavy. Enough firepower to handle most of what the island had thrown at them thus far, but not so much that it granted them overconfidence.
Not that she'd ever fall prey to overconfidence, Birmingham thought to herself.
The red-haired cruiser wandered through the forest with fast strides, her jog slowing as she took a moment to assess her surroundings. She was near the junction where Hanazuki and Miyuki had gone – a fact confirmed when she spotted the bushes nearby had been trampled by rudder-ended boots, the tracks still fresh. However there was no signs of a struggle, indicating that if there was anything wrong then it happened deeper into the forest.
Birmingham glanced behind her. Boise followed close behind her, shy and skittish, whilst a step behind was Maya and Ashigara – two Heavy Cruisers from the Sakura Empire. She could appreciate Maya's seriousness about the matter, especially with her skilful swordsmanship, but she was a little more sceptical about Ashigara's. Though a Myouko-class cruiser she seemed rather skittish in this environment; chasing shadows and flinching at every distant shell fired. She wasn't scared per se, but it was clear that the nigh-suicidal onslaught of monsters had rattled her slightly.
As if sharing the same thought Maya looked back at her companion, nudging her. ''Relax. Stay focused.''
Ashigara started a little but hurriedly nodded; drawing in a cleansing breath and managing to regain some of her nerve. Birmingham hummed at that and looked ahead, silently leading her companions further into the woods. It wasn't long until the land descended into a natural basin, and a quick search yielded results, albeit not the ones they were hoping for.
Torn clothes. Broken bits of rigging. Even blood, in some cases. The girls had been attacked here, of that there was no doubt, but the absence of bodies was unnerving.
''Either they managed to escape and went further in, or they were dragged off.'' Maya made her thoughts clear, staring pointedly at Birmingham. They had to go further.
Grimacing Birmingham nodded her assent, continuing to lead her small sortie group ahead. It almost felt weird leading two Heavy Cruisers, given flagship roles usually went to the capital ships, but she wasn't complaining – maybe Impero thought she had better commanding skills. That, or the carrier was just too lazy to do an in-depth assessment of their skills and just gave her the role on a whim. Which, considering they needed to find their missing comrades ASAP, she supposed was somewhat warranted. Find the injured first, bicker about command roles later.
Shaking her head to dispel the thought Birmingham focused on the other end of the basin, reaching it soon enough. Vines, moss and other bits hung from the slanted rock but it felt surprisingly firm, refusing to budge when she tugged and emboldening her to use them as climbing tools – grunting as she hauled herself up bit by bit. The others followed her carefully, making sure not to overload the edge of the basin lest their combined weight cause the dirt and stone to crumble, but in the end they all reached the top of the basin without issue.
''Where to now...?'' Boise spoke up, her face-mask muffling her voice somewhat.
'Where to indeed.' Birmingham frowned, looking about. Unlike before there was no convenient trail of blood, just a vast green in all directions, broken up only by the thick wood of the trees.
Ashigara broke the quiet. ''Do you think they went down to the coast? It's not that far, and if they got on the water they'd be safe from the monsters.''
''Possibly.'' Maya conceded with a frown. ''But if so, then they would've given us a signal of some kind.''
''Maybe they did, but just after we left?'' Ashigara floated the idea.
Birmingham frowned, however; her eyes scanning the grass in the opposite direction of the ocean. Now that she looked closer she could spot finer details she'd initially overlooked; the grass trudged down by monster footprints, partially hidden by the overgrowth. When she did a little loop around their area though she noticed a second trail, one that went towards the ocean.
''Two paths.'' Birmingham voiced her thoughts grimly. ''...this almost smells like a trap.''
''Doubtful.'' Maya weighed in, thumbing the handle of her katana idly. ''These monsters don't seem to have enough intelligence for that. Ambush? Yes. Luring in with footprints? That's too advanced for them.''
Birmingham had to agree with that. Though some of the monsters that had attacked them showed intelligence, it was of the more bestial kind. Encirclement, probing attacks, wave attacks, that sort of thing. Primitive and basic but effective in some sense; if they kept it up for long enough they'd eventually run out of ammo, not that the monsters could know that. Still, something like luring stragglers away from the main fleet felt a bit too above their intelligence level.
''Should we split up then?'' Birmingham murmured. ''The whole reason Impero sent us together was for you to support us...''
''True.'' Maya sighed. ''Still, I'd rather not have to backtrack and look in two places at once, especially when their lives on the line. Every second we spend here is another that could be their last.''
A grimace marred Birmingham's visage and she nodded. ''Fine. You go check the one nearer the coast, we'll go further inland. Ripple fire into the sky if you find them, we'll meet back up here, or fall back into the basin if attacked.''
''Sounds good to me. Good luck.'' Maya turned and fast-walked down the other faint path. ''Ashigara, let's go. You take the lead.''
''R-Right!''
Birmingham watched the Heavy Cruiser go, almost wanting to go back on her word and stick with them – but she quashed such feelings. Time was of the essence here – what did safety matter if they only found Hanazuki and Miyuki's remains? Nodding at that she spared a sharp look at Boise, earning a shaky nod from her peer, before as one they fast-walked towards the deeper parts of the forest.
'Please be safe, you two...'
X-x-X
Boise wasn't sure how long they'd been walking. Five, ten, fifteen minutes?
The forest around them grew slightly thicker but otherwise it remained identical to the section of forest before it. From time to time they'd pass near a river but monsters seemed to lurk near it, either for a drink or drawn in by the sound, she didn't know. Regardless they kept their distance and sneaked around what monsters they could, both to avoid detection and to save ammo.
Just as Boise was beginning to worry that their search was fruitless, though, they discovered something new – a burrow. That in itself wasn't the weirdest thing – the monsters probably had to sleep somewhere – but what was notable was that a Lizardman crawled out of the depression in the ground and skittered off into the forest, no doubt to look for more prey. The pair of them stayed still in a bush, not a breath escaping them until the yellow-scaled Lizardman was long out-of-sight, allowing the pair to breathe freely.
''S-Should we check it out...?'' Boise tentatively asked. The idea of going into a burrow was a highly unsettling one, especially if the monsters came back, but after searching for so long this was the most likely place for Miyuki and Hanazuki to have been taken to.
Birmingham grimaced, then nodded. Quiet as she could she crept out from their hiding spot and crouched low as she crossed the tiny clearing. The burrow was just next to a tree; the thick roots spreading out in all directions and with some foliage hanging over it like camouflage, doing little to hide the depression in the dirt that went down like a slide. It was about as slippery as one too; her footwear struggling to get a firm grip on the dew-covered grass, forcing her to get down on her hands and knees and crawl down.
Darkness quickly engulfed her as she passed under the hanging roots, only the dim gloom of the sky outside to light her way. As her eyes adjusted though she was surprised to see this was not some tiny dirt burrow fit for a single, but an entire, expansive room that networked into others. Shy of about six feet high and probably about eight or nine feet wide in diameter it was unsettlingly spacious, though then again considering the size of the Lizardmen she supposed they'd need a bigger burrow than a traditional lizard.
However she could hear something. A distant noise, faint but repetitive. Breathing? No, it was sharper than that. Wheezing. Wounded? Maybe.
Grimacing Birmingham rose to her feet, waiting for Boise to join her before she began to trek towards the leftmost tunnel. It was painfully narrow, forcing her to de-summon her rigging just to fit through, not that her rigging would do her any good underground. She'd sooner bury herself alive than kill anything outright. The thought sent a chill up her spine but she tried to ignore how defenceless she was right now – she'd been in situations like this. Situations where firepower wasn't enough, so stealth wasn't just an option, but a necessity.
The tunnel grew slightly narrower, eventually tapering off but with dirt piles around the floor, as if it was still being excavated. However Birmingham's main focus was on the suspicious sound, her footsteps slowing and growing quieter as she neared the edge of a doorway; the arch having nothing to hide her as she poked her head around-
-and found Hanazuki and Miyuki.
Naked.
With Lizardmen on top of them.
The sight made her freeze up, shocked silent. For a long moment she just stood there and watched as the two lizards mating-pressed the naked Destroyers into the dirt; harsh smacks of flesh mixed with their animalistic grunts. However while Miyuki was worryingly silent, unconscious, Hanazuki was not – soft, defeated whimpers escaping her every time the Lizardman pressed its cock down into her depths, squelching its fluid out of her but not pushing any of its eggs out.
Birmingham got over her shock quickly though, anger soon to take root. Was it because these monsters all seemed to be male, was that why they'd taken two Ship-Girls and... bred them? To repopulate their numbers? The prospect was worryingly high but Birmingham soon crushed such thoughts; silently walking out into the small, enclosed space, one just big enough for her rigging to manifest.
She wouldn't be able to shoot it, but that didn't mean she was defenceless. Far from it.
Rearing her right hip back she tensed – and then just as the leftmost Lizardman raised its head she swung, smashing the side of her rigging into its head. Its skull dented inwards and the creature fell to one side, thrashing, but she wasn't looking at it anymore; her eyes darting to the right Lizardman. It noticed her and had the benefit of her being a foot or two away, pulling its glistening cock from Miyuki's abused folds as it stood.
Then Birmingham was in front of it, punching it straight in the throat. The humanoid staggered and clasped as its throat, gargling in surprise, but its moment of surprise was enough for her to smash her rigging into it and knock it down. It was dazed but far from dead, forcing her to stomp down on its head – gritting her teeth as she put every ounce of strength into it.
Thud-!
Thud-!
Thud-!
'Die dammit!' She could hear the other Lizardman, injured but alive, rising back to its feet.
Finally one more brutal stomp crushed the creature's skull in properly. She felt sick as blood and viscera spurted up her shin but anger and fear was a good deterrent; keeping her last meal down as she spun – just in time too, as the other Lizardman staggered over to her, claws out and a snarl on its dented face, bone poking out from between uprooted scales.
Until Boise stepped in, squeaking as she rammed into its side. It hit its head on the dirt wall and fell between Miyuki and Hanazuki, snarling and shifting, but a solid kick to its skull from Birmingham made a disgusting crack sound, and its head went limp, Broken skull, snapped neck, she neither knew nor cared. All that mattered was that it was dead.
Birmingham released a heavy breath. ''Thanks.''
''I-It's fine.'' Boise answered but sounded shaken. Birmingham didn't blame her – whether because of her own actions or the sight of Hanazuki and Miyuki, this was just... just a mess.
She squirmed as she felt blood dribble down into her shoe. 'Don't think about it, get these two out and signal Maya. Move.'
Her own orders helped motivate her and she hurried over to Hanazuki, leaving the unconscious Miyuki to Boise. When she knelt by the pink-haired fox-girl she winced at the array of still-bleeding cuts marring her body, be it on her medium-sized breasts, along her stomach and sides or even on her hips and thighs; the creature's claws clearly having held her many a times. She pointedly ignored looking at the overflowing whiteness leaking out of the Destroyer's pussy too, instead taking her cape off and draping it over Hanazuki.
''We'll get you out.'' Birmingham said shortly as she tied the cape.
Hanazuki tried to say something but was too overcome by emotion – relief, fear, anxiety and shame, all of it twisting into a sobbing mess that tugged on Birmingham's heartstrings.
Alas just as she scooped the fox-girl up she heard it – movement, outside the burrow. The sound made her nearly curse and she hurriedly evaluated her options. Only one way in or out, using her guns would likely bury them alive – and for all Ship-Girls were lauded for their strength they still needed to breathe – whilst the Lizardmen had no such issues; equipped with claws that were well-suited to cramped spaces like these. And with them carrying Hanazuki and Miyuki they wouldn't be able to fight beyond maybe a kick at best, and she hardly doubted that'd be enough to do anything but baffle a Lizardman.
She drew in a breath and hissed through her teeth, pulling Hanazuki close to her chest. If they were going to escape they couldn't find – and couldn't hide either. No, they needed to run. To brute force their way through. No riggings, no weapons. Just sheer momentum to blitz past them.
''Boise.'' Birmingham whispered, watching as the bustier cruiser gently cradled Miyuki. ''When I leave this room we run. Don't stop to fight, don't try and help me if I fall, just charge straight past anything in your way until we get to the surface. We can't fight them down here.''
Boise gave her a worried look and she felt Hanazuki clutch at her, but when the bustier woman hesitantly nodded Birmingham moved – fast-walking into the hallway and darting down the corridor, building speed as she gave up stealth and just charged. The noise attracted attention and she heard skittering-
-and then a Lizardman was there, leaping from its hiding spot with a snarl. It didn't get the chance to grab her before Birmingham ran bodily into it, Hanazuki crying out in fear as she was squished between them – before her momentum knocked the monster onto its back. Birmingham didn't stop to attack it though and kept running, reaching the slope out and running up it-
But she'd forgotten. It was slippery, uneven. Boots wouldn't grip easily, especially going up.
So when her boots slipped out from under her Birmingham couldn't deny the jolt of fear that shot up her spine, losing her grip momentarily until she grabbed at the uneven mass of dirt and grass, nearly dropping Hanazuki had the Destroyer not been holding onto her so tightly. Using her newfound handhold she propelled herself up further, hearing Boise behind her-
''Hwah?!''
When Boise screamed in fear. Birmingham jerked her head to one side, looking back, and very nearly cursed as she saw Boise be dragged back by her shin – the Lizardman she'd left behind already recovered. Instantly her plan was in tatters; if she kept going she was leaving Boise and Miyuki to their fate, and if she stayed she'd likely be blocked off-
Too late; another Lizardman at the top of the slope lunging down at her. Birmingham had no choice but to fall back, throwing Hanazuki to one side and hearing the fox-girl land with a pained yelp, but she ignored that for now – her attention fully on the monster lunging down at her, landing just shy of her thanks to her momentum throwing her back. However by the time she stood it was there, throwing itself at her faster than she could summon her rigging and snatching her wrists, pinning her down.
Panic rose up within her, memories of what happened to Hanazuki and Miyuki mere minutes ago flashing through her mind. With force she kicked her legs out, hitting the monster's stomach but the scales killed most of the force, its hissing snarl sending a chill up her spine – and a pained cry fled her lips when it tightened its hold, threatening to crush her wrists with its strength.
Then it suddenly shifted both her arms up, pinning them together with just one hand – freeing its other and allowing it to rake its claws down her front. Cloth gave way frighteningly easily and soon her dress was in two parts, splitting open down the middle and laying bare her dark blue underwear, the thought heating her cheeks up. However that same embarrassment turned into fear as she saw the Lizardman's cock swell between its leg, long and thick, prompting her to try and kick it in the groin – but the creature had enough sense to block such attacks, ripping her panties off at the same time.
'No...' Birmingham felt dizzy as her nether regions were exposed to the damp, musky air, her struggles becoming even more vicious as the monster leaned over her, the tip of its dick rubbing against her folds.
Rubbing, not penetration. Teasing her. Taunting her.
Birmingham gritted her teeth, her breathing short and fast as the bulbous tip of its shaft rubbed against her pussy lips, went high and rubbed up her groin before coming back down again. Her struggles did little to stop it but it gave her some minor amount of confidence, of control; her legs closing as much as she could with it between them, hips lifting and falling as she kept it away from her private parts as best she-
The tip teased her opening – and Birmingham screamed as it suddenly went in. It felt thicker than she expected, parting her virginal walls and hilting inside her in a single, harsh thrust, knocking the air out of her. The pain came a second later but she barely had a moment to soak it in before the monster yanked its cock halfway out only to slam right back into her deflowered pussy, forcing a shout of pain out of Birmingham.
She struggled once more, kicking and twisting and flailing, but the Lizardman just snarled in her face and kept moving, roughly burying itself into her. It didn't care that her legs flailed on either side of its hips, that her hips lifted and fell unevenly in some attempt to make its dick slip out – it just kept pressing its body down against hers and mated with her, thrusting its thick girth into her and making Birmingham cry out in pain.
''Gh! Mnph-!'' Biting her tongue until it bled Birmingham threw her head from side to side, enduring the stabbing pain in her loins – the deep, repeated impacts to her cervix as the Lizardman had its way with her.
As it defiled her.
She tried to push it out, to ignore it as best she could. Even when the Lizardman hissed and snarled in her ear Birmingham didn't give it the satisfaction of hearing her cry out, her teeth on her tongue as she took the pounding – its meaty cock spearing between her despoiled petals and hilting in her innermost parts, sending jolts right up her stomach and banging her head on the dirt, but she didn't react. She just laid there and took it like the good little broodmare it wanted her to be, waiting for an opening, a chance to knock its lights out and get help.
She felt it throb inside of her quickly, its shaft swelling against her sore insides and its tip kissing her depths, the realisation hitting – and no sooner had it before the Lizardman snarled and impregnated her. A flood of warm fluid poured into her depths, thick and sticky like semen but lacking sperm. In their place though she felt many tiny eggs push up into her womb, nestling against her depths in a torrent, nearly making her sick as she realised she'd been claimed, just like the others.
Even if she escaped this hole, the monster's seed would remain within her, making her its unwilling mother for its brood.
Birmingham was torn from her thoughts though her wrists were released – and no sooner had they been freed did a meaty hand grab her hair, yanking her upright. The cruiser cried out in pain but it gave her some weird clarity, feeling more than seeing space behind her. Her opening. She called upon her rigging and it manifested, finally having the space, her guns trained and ready to fire-
But she never saw the Lizardman behind her. The moment it spotted her rigging it attacked with vigour, seething out a wet breath as it raked its claws through her turrets, instantly incapacitating them. Birmingham flinched and tried to fire but her guns wouldn't operate – and to her despair they were reduced to metal scraps within seconds, literally ripped off of her. The only reason she wasn't pulled back with them was the iron grip on her hair, and the dick she was still impaled upon.
As if to remind her of that the Lizardman holding her sneered in her face, shifting both hands to her hips and holding tight... and Birmingham froze as she felt a second cock poke her ass.
And then she screamed as the other Lizardman eagerly buried its cock in her ass – up until a third, sneering Lizardman came up to her left, shoving its cock in her mouth and pulling her hair, forcing it to pleasure it as its kin began to fucked her other holes, using her not solely for breeding, but also their own animalistic pleasure.
Her fate, forever, sealed.
X-x-X
Boise was just climbing the slope, her pace fast, when she felt the clawed hand curl around her ankle.
Then suddenly she was yanked back down, Miyuki tumbling from her grip as she instinctively reached to grab onto something. Nothing was to be found, however, and soon she found herself thrown to the dirty ground – the Lizardman on top if her. Boise flinched back, crawling back, but the monster just grabbed her left thigh and forcefully lifted it up – its other hand going up her dress and grabbing her crotch.
Before with the harsh tear of cloth it ripped her panties off. Her heart skipped a beat – but unlike Birmingham she didn't have the fight, the fire, to keep moving. She froze up completely, paralysed with realisation and terror as the Lizardman got on top of her, and only when she felt something rub against her vagina did she snap out of it and begin to move-
''Agh!''
Then it was inside of her. Thick and solid it pushed apart her virgin insides, the pain sharp and intense enough to nearly make her black out for a split-second – her mind purged of all thought as the monster cock slammed into her, deflowering her. The shock lasted for just a few seconds though; banished the moment the monster dug its nails into her raised right thigh and began to fuck her properly; short, eager pumps burying it into her pussy.
''A-Ah! N-No, stop- mn!''
Her face mask muted her voice somewhat and gave it an echoing quality, making her pained cries all the more haunting as the monster pistoned itself into her, its flesh smacking against her own repeatedly and harshly. Through the tears in her eyes she spied multiple more Lizardmen returning, either drawn in by the sounds or the attack on their home, and to her despair a terrified Hanazuki was shoved up against the wall, her limbs flailing as he pleaded – before a thick, girthy cock forced itself into her defiled pussy, making her wail as the monster eagerly began to mate with her. Miyuki too wasn't spared, the unconscious girl rolled onto her front before the Lizardman began to mate with her prone-bone; smacking her small rear with every harsh thrust.
Boise was brought back to her own predicament though as another Lizardman knelt by her face. Its large clawed hand grabbed her mask without warning and pulled hard, lifting her head with it, prompting her to reflexively pull back... until with a harsh snap her mask's straps broke, causing it to fly off and to the side. Boise opened her mouth to cry out but before she could do that something touched her lips – and then something thick shoved itself into her mouth. Boise's eyes bulged and she cried out in alarm, the noise muted as the two Lizardmen eagerly began to spitroasted her on her side, their scales smacking against her flesh and filling the quaint burrow. Her thigh began to bleed from how harshly the monster gripped it but the pain was nothing compared to the ache in her loins, its dick slamming up against her cervix relentlessly.
''Mmph~! Mrph!'' Boise frantically flailed her hands about, trying to grab and push, desperation hastening her motions but hampering her aim.
Until eventually the Lizardman defiling her mouth just grabbed her wrists and held them down, snarling as it slammed between her lips, hurting her teeth and thrusting down her gullet, choking her. Her raspy, spluttering breaths did little to deter the overgrown lizard from face-fucking her though, bruising her nose with every harsh impact and sending stars flashing behind her eyes; not helped by the thick shaft plunging up into her womanhood.
Suddenly her left wrist was freed – the reason becoming evident as the newfound claw raked at her chest, ripping the cloth apart and revealing her large, squishy tits to the monsters. Boise barely had the time to feel self-conscious before her right tit was grabbed and squeezed harshly, forcing a muffled cry out of the cruiser as her tit was manhandled, her head shaking as best she could with a dick going down her throat.
Then suddenly she was forced onto her back completely, the Lizardman coming with her as it straddled her collarbone and grabbed her head with both hands, hissing in delight as it forced its meaty cock down her throat. Boise's eyes watered but she could do nothing but take it, her eyes soon screwing shut just so she didn't have to look at the monster's groin – acutely feeling its balls hitting her chin over and over again. The other Lizardman between her legs didn't relent either, its girth parting her abused folds and raking her tender insides with every pounding thrust, its cock smooth but uncomfortably girthy, stretching her virginal sex out with every thrust.
''Mn! Mmph! H-Hn-!''
Then suddenly the one between her legs hissed; and then came. Boise spasmed as she felt jets of warmth pour up into her womb, the foreign sensation terrifying – made all the more so as she felt numerous eggs pour into her baby chamber. The one mounted on her face though kept going, snarling and hissing as it face-fucked her, seeming to slow down even just to endure it.
The reason why though became evident as the Lizardman between her legs pulled out – and the one on top of her pulled its dick out of her mouth, got between her legs, and then plunged inside. Its clawed hands grabbed her hips and it savagely pounded her, fucking cries of pain out of Boise but no resistance beyond that – lacking the strength to. The will to.
And so when the Lizardman soon emptied its balls inside of her, hissing with primal satisfaction as it laid its eggs inside of her defenceless womb, Boise could only lay there, defeated and exhausted by the ordeal, her pussy sore and overflowing with white fluid.
The breeding process, continuing on.
2023.06.08 00:11 empath800 Depressed and anxious after being sacked and starting a new job
I'm 26f. I worked in hospitality for years during uni and after I finished, and hustled to find a grad job for myself. I was working in a pub and was working hard there whilst trying to find a 9 to 5 which I stupidly thought was going to change everything and improve my quality of life. I landed my grad job last year.
The job was remote but I felt lonely and missed working with people. I felt isolated from my colleagues. The only good thing about the job was the flexibility I had, and that I could go out running during the day, cook for myself and do my chores. I lost that job about 6 weeks ago. It was a complete shock as I'd been promoted a month before, and had been told what a good job I was doing up until about two days before I was let go. I was heartbroken about what had happened as my boss made sure to make me feel like absolute sh** when he sacked me, completely knocking my confidence even though I knew I'd been doing a good job.
About a week after I got sacked I managed to secure another job working for an opticians. I had a few weeks off between being sacked and starting my new job and during this time I went on holiday which was honestly one of the most stressful weeks of my life as my boyfriend had stopped taking his meds without telling me and was behaving erratically. It was pretty terrible and my stress levels were insane, but I managed to enjoy some of the time I had off before starting my new job.
I've been at the job 3 days now. I know it doesn't sound a lot, but I'm completely miserable already. I've been crying every day at work and at home, unable to sleep and emotionally exhausted and drained. I don't know what the future looks like and feel hopeless about it. I thought the grad job was going to get me somewhere so worked hard for that, now I'm working in this random opticians that I don't like and I don't know the work, no one really helps me and the days are insanely long. I feel utterly miserable and just not like myself at all. I'd like to go back and study maybe, but don't know how I will afford it. Everything feels hopeless. I don't want to go to sleep at night because I know I have to get up and go back there. My routine is a mess, I don't have time for anything.
Is it normal for me to feel this way after being sacked? I just feel absolute despair and need some kind words. :(
TL;DR: I got sacked and now I hate my new job.
submitted by empath800 to AnxietyDepression [link] [comments]
The job was remote but I felt lonely and missed working with people. I felt isolated from my colleagues. The only good thing about the job was the flexibility I had, and that I could go out running during the day, cook for myself and do my chores. I lost that job about 6 weeks ago. It was a complete shock as I'd been promoted a month before, and had been told what a good job I was doing up until about two days before I was let go. I was heartbroken about what had happened as my boss made sure to make me feel like absolute sh** when he sacked me, completely knocking my confidence even though I knew I'd been doing a good job.
About a week after I got sacked I managed to secure another job working for an opticians. I had a few weeks off between being sacked and starting my new job and during this time I went on holiday which was honestly one of the most stressful weeks of my life as my boyfriend had stopped taking his meds without telling me and was behaving erratically. It was pretty terrible and my stress levels were insane, but I managed to enjoy some of the time I had off before starting my new job.
I've been at the job 3 days now. I know it doesn't sound a lot, but I'm completely miserable already. I've been crying every day at work and at home, unable to sleep and emotionally exhausted and drained. I don't know what the future looks like and feel hopeless about it. I thought the grad job was going to get me somewhere so worked hard for that, now I'm working in this random opticians that I don't like and I don't know the work, no one really helps me and the days are insanely long. I feel utterly miserable and just not like myself at all. I'd like to go back and study maybe, but don't know how I will afford it. Everything feels hopeless. I don't want to go to sleep at night because I know I have to get up and go back there. My routine is a mess, I don't have time for anything.
Is it normal for me to feel this way after being sacked? I just feel absolute despair and need some kind words. :(
TL;DR: I got sacked and now I hate my new job.
2023.06.08 00:04 Plastic-Arm-2412 When do they really start to get proactive in recovery?
When do they really start to get proactive in recovery? (Posted in porn free relationshis too but i know here is more active)
My pa has been in recovery since January. It feels like he will do what he feels is necessary and convenient for him to do with his recovery but it feels like the bare minimum. He listens to the pbse podcast and dare to connect sessions (as do I) He has tried with sa but doesn't relate so doesn't have a sponsor or a group. He has therapy once a month. If the therapist sends him worksheets he doesn't do them till last minute and then not really in depth. He has read some books. He does journal and will try to do a check in every day although he misses some days. I have been printing off the assignments from d2c since January and only tonight did he look at the first one.
He keeps having emotional relapses where he will get defensive invalidate my feelings and go distant/cold. I am focusing on my own recovery I no longer have the energy to keep rescuing our relationship so I leave it up to him. He has no clue at all how to get back to a place of connection and stay there/ride the ups and downs. Despite having lots of resources at his finger tips. It's like he needs constant boundaries to push against then the fall out of me upholding them and pulling him up finally pushes him in to any action at all to see or address anything.
He is losing me. Its been our entire relationship his been in addiction (10 years) I am exhausted and bored. I am ready to move on. But it's like he needs a rocket up his bum to get him going and to see he is losing me. He tells me mixed messages of maybe it should be over so I can finally move on. Then how he doesn't want that and he can change.
This is such a long slow lonely process. If we didn't have children, a house and intertwined finances I'd just tell him to go and do his recovery somewhere else. I deserve Peace and happiness not a mopey man wandering the house without a clue what he is doing. I am already raising three boys I don't need another to raise but he has no hope on his own.
submitted by Plastic-Arm-2412 to loveafterporn [link] [comments]
My pa has been in recovery since January. It feels like he will do what he feels is necessary and convenient for him to do with his recovery but it feels like the bare minimum. He listens to the pbse podcast and dare to connect sessions (as do I) He has tried with sa but doesn't relate so doesn't have a sponsor or a group. He has therapy once a month. If the therapist sends him worksheets he doesn't do them till last minute and then not really in depth. He has read some books. He does journal and will try to do a check in every day although he misses some days. I have been printing off the assignments from d2c since January and only tonight did he look at the first one.
He keeps having emotional relapses where he will get defensive invalidate my feelings and go distant/cold. I am focusing on my own recovery I no longer have the energy to keep rescuing our relationship so I leave it up to him. He has no clue at all how to get back to a place of connection and stay there/ride the ups and downs. Despite having lots of resources at his finger tips. It's like he needs constant boundaries to push against then the fall out of me upholding them and pulling him up finally pushes him in to any action at all to see or address anything.
He is losing me. Its been our entire relationship his been in addiction (10 years) I am exhausted and bored. I am ready to move on. But it's like he needs a rocket up his bum to get him going and to see he is losing me. He tells me mixed messages of maybe it should be over so I can finally move on. Then how he doesn't want that and he can change.
This is such a long slow lonely process. If we didn't have children, a house and intertwined finances I'd just tell him to go and do his recovery somewhere else. I deserve Peace and happiness not a mopey man wandering the house without a clue what he is doing. I am already raising three boys I don't need another to raise but he has no hope on his own.
2023.06.08 00:01 originalnascar How's the biotech job market for recent grads? Tips for newbies, what should I look out for?
Hi! I recently graduated from a really great (Ivy League) school with honors & my BS in Molecular Biology, and am now job hunting. I've been sending out as many applications as I can over the past few weeks, and I have gotten a few interviews for contract positions at smaller firms. I have a few questions about the process:
submitted by originalnascar to biotech [link] [comments]
- What counts as "experience"? I have applied to roles that request 1-3 years of experience in addition to the BS, because I've held full-time positions (internships) and part time positions (apprenticeships/research for credit) while at school in both academic and industry laboratories. Basic science research was my main extracurricular in college and when I wasn't in class or studying, I was in the lab, and I feel like that experience should count for something! But I've also heard that "experience" gained while still in school doesn't really count as far as job hunting goes.
- What title of role should I be applying to? I am applying mostly to Research Associate I/Assistant jobs. What's the difference between RA I, II, III? Is it a seniority thing? I see a lot of companies hiring for a "Research Associate/Assistant II" and not sure if I should just be applying to RA I jobs.
- I live in San Diego-- does anyone know if there are any firms looking for entry level/new grad hires right now? Where should I be looking to find these jobs? So far I've browsed Indeed, ZipRecruiter, and LinkedIn. Most of the jobs on these boards aren't actually from companies themselves, just staffing firms/recruiting agencies, and a good few of these seem to be W2 scams or otherwise illegitimate. Should I apply to jobs posted by (legitimate) recruiters or is this a waste of time?
- How long does this process usually take? I've been shooting off as many applications as I can every day for the past 2 weeks or so, and I'm wondering what a "normal" timeline is for hiring--obviously not this fast, I think (?) but it would be helpful to know what is typical.
2023.06.07 23:40 Nameless_Wanderer87 Experience Having a “Court” Style Session
Obligatory: I’m a brand new GM and running my first campaign (home brew) after playing a single one shot and watching a bit of YouTube clips.
Anyway, at the end of our last session it came to light that a local medicine shopkeep and his young son accomplices in having locals, and passersby’s kidnapped for horrific experiments.
I had mentioned in passing that the two been arrested and would be tried for their crimes just as the party was heading to bed before a long rest (and end of that session)…. Well this sparked a huge debate at the table about the ethics of children being literally tried for “sins of the father” and now they want to attend the court proceedings at our next session to decide if they should intervene for the child.
My question is, does anyone have any experience running a courtroom session? If so I’d love some pointers/ideas on how to approach it.
TL;DR Players decided they want the next session to be a court hearing for two NPCs. Have you run something like this before and, if so, any tips or suggestions are appreciated.
submitted by Nameless_Wanderer87 to DMAcademy [link] [comments]
Anyway, at the end of our last session it came to light that a local medicine shopkeep and his young son accomplices in having locals, and passersby’s kidnapped for horrific experiments.
I had mentioned in passing that the two been arrested and would be tried for their crimes just as the party was heading to bed before a long rest (and end of that session)…. Well this sparked a huge debate at the table about the ethics of children being literally tried for “sins of the father” and now they want to attend the court proceedings at our next session to decide if they should intervene for the child.
My question is, does anyone have any experience running a courtroom session? If so I’d love some pointers/ideas on how to approach it.
TL;DR Players decided they want the next session to be a court hearing for two NPCs. Have you run something like this before and, if so, any tips or suggestions are appreciated.
2023.06.07 23:38 casioF-91 Megathread: Legal resources
Megathread: Legal resources
IntroductionNau mai! Haere mai! Welcome to LegalAdviceNZ. The general purpose of this subreddit is to provide free and simple local legal advice to those who need it. Reddit can never be a true substitute for qualified advice from experienced lawyers - but there is a community need for easy access to basic, informed legal commentary. That’s why we are here.
If you are new to this subreddit, please review the rules in the sidebar and be aware that this is a heavily moderated sub. Content must be on-topic.
This megathread sets out some of the helpful legal resources available around New Zealand. Most of these are freely available. This list is categorised into 10 sectors: Civil disputes, Consumer protection, Criminal, Employment, Family, Healthcare, Housing, Property, Traffic, and Constitutional & Government. There is also a general resources section at the start, with several organisations that provide guidance and information on most legal issues.
0. General resources
- 0.0 New Zealand Legislation https://www.legislation.govt.nz/ (The authoritative source of law - Acts, Bills & secondary legislation. You can read and download any of these for free.)
- 0.1 Community Law https://communitylaw.org.nz/free-legal-help/ (Free legal help throughout New Zealand.)
- 0.1.1 Community Law have in-person clinics available for detailed discussion of legal problems: https://communitylaw.org.nz/our-law-centres/
- 0.1.2 Community Law's Law Manual Online is a free pool of online legal information, containing a wide range of information from Community Law’s easy-to-read manuals and guides https://communitylaw.org.nz/law-manual-online/
- 0.2 Citizens Advice Bureau https://www.cab.org.nz/ (a nationwide, but locally based, community organisation, helping people to know and understand their rights and obligations, and how to use this information to get the best outcomes.)
- 0.2.1 CAB have in-person clinics available for detailed discussion of any issues: https://www.cab.org.nz/find-a-cab/cab-locations/
- 0.2.2 CAB also have a wealth of commonly-asked legal questions on their website - try the search function to see if your question has been asked and answered before: https://www.cab.org.nz/search/
- 0.2.3 CAB have an excellent guide to where to go for legal advice if you cannot afford a lawyer: https://www.cab.org.nz/article/KB00001123
- 0.3 New Zealand Law Society https://www.lawsociety.org.nz/for-the-public/common-legal-issues/ (the NZLS guide to common legal issues, and where you can go to find a lawyer)
- 0.4 Youth Law Aotearoa https://youthlaw.co.nz/free-legal-help/ (a free community law centre for children and young people nationwide, providing free legal services to anyone aged under 25 who are unable to access legal help elsewhere, or those acting on their behalf. The only organisation operating across NZ where children and young people can access free legal services just for them.)
1.1 Ministry of Justice Civil Law: https://www.justice.govt.nz/courts/civil/ (Civil cases can include disputes over business contracts or debts, or disputes between neighbours, or debt recovery.)
1.2 Disputes Tribunal: https://www.disputestribunal.govt.nz/ (The Disputes Tribunal is a quick and cost-effective way to settle disputes.)
2. Consumer protection
2.1 Consumer NZ https://www.consumer.org.nz/ (an independent, non-profit organisation dedicated to getting New Zealanders a fairer deal.)
2.2 Consumer Protection https://www.consumerprotection.govt.nz/ (MBIE's online guide to NZ laws that protect you when buying from, or sharing your information with, businesses selling in New Zealand, including online retailers.)
2.3 NZ Govt - Consumer Rights & Complaints https://www.govt.nz/browse/consumer-rights-and-complaints/ (NZ Government's general information on consumer rights.)
3. Criminal
3.1 Ministry of Justice Criminal Law sector https://www.justice.govt.nz/justice-sector-policy/regulatory-stewardship/regulatory-systems/criminal-law/ (encompasses the definition, deterrence, and punishment of criminal conduct. What is and isn’t acceptable conduct in our society.)
3.2 Ministry of Justice Criminal Law https://www.justice.govt.nz/courts/criminal/
3.3 Victims Information https://www.victimsinfo.govt.nz/ (for people affected by crime)
3.4 Victim Support https://victimsupport.org.nz/ (a free, nationwide support service for people affected by crime, trauma, and suicide in New Zealand, helping clients find safety, healing, and justice after crime and other traumatic events.)
3.5 Healthline's Sexual Assault Resource Guide https://www.healthline.com/health/sexual-assault-resource-guide#online-forums-and-support (We hope this guide can serve as a resource in your time of need and answer any questions you may have about what to do next.)
4. Employment
4.1 Employment New Zealand https://www.employment.govt.nz/ (MBIE's resources that may help you find out more about the different laws that apply to employment relationships and how the Employment Relations Authority and the courts apply that law.)
4.2 NZ Council of Trade Unions - your rights https://union.org.nz/rights/ (Everyone has the right to decent and productive work, in conditions of freedom, equity, security and human dignity. Unions ensure that, as a worker, your voice is heard, your views are respected and your rights under the law are upheld.)
4.3 NZ Govt - Workers Rights https://www.govt.nz/browse/work/workers-rights/when-you-have-a-problem-at-work/ (NZ Government's guide - if you have a problem at work talk to your boss directly. If you cannot solve it you can get help from government and other organisations)
5. Family
5.1 Ministry of Justice Family Law https://www.justice.govt.nz/family/
5.2 Family Court website https://www.districtcourts.govt.nz/family-court/ (information about the Family Court jurisdiction, including what we do, useful legislation, and tips on how to find Family Court judgments.)
5.3 Search for a Legal Aid lawyer providing family law services: https://www.justice.govt.nz/courts/going-to-court/legal-aid/get-legal-aid/can-i-get-family-or-civil-legal-aid/apply-for-family-or-civil-legal-aid/get-a-family-or-civil-legal-aid-lawye
6. Healthcare
6.1 Medical Council of New Zealand https://www.mcnz.org.nz/support/support-for-patients/your-rights-as-a-patient/ (The Code of Rights applies to both public and private facilities, and to both paid and unpaid services. It gives you as a patient, the right to be treated with respect, receive appropriate care, have proper communication, and be fully informed so you can make an informed choice.)
6.2 Ministry of Health https://www.health.govt.nz/your-health/services-and-support/your-rights (When you use a health or disability service, your rights are protected by the Code of Health and Disability Services Consumers’ Rights.)
6.3 Health and Disability Commissioner http://www.hdc.org.nz/ (The Health and Disability Commissioner promotes and protects people's rights as set out in the Code of Health and Disability Services Consumers' Rights. This includes resolving complaints in a fair, timely, and effective way.)
7. Housing
7.1 Tenancy Services https://www.tenancy.govt.nz/ (MBIE's Tenancy information for landlords and tenants.)
7.2 Housing Advice Centre https://housingadvice.org.nz/advice/ (We can help! We are a free independent service. We can help you out of homelessness. We can support you in fulfilling obligations to maintain housing obligations. We provide education for agencies and case workers on the tenancy act and how to assist homeless persons.)
7.3 Renters United https://rentersunited.org.nz/help/ (Renters United is focused on changing laws to make renting better for everyone, and don’t provide support with particular renting situations. However, there are some places listed here by Renters United that you can turn to for support.)
7.4 Tenant Aratohu NZ https://tenant.aratohu.nz/ (Support and guidance for tenants and their advocates.)
8. Property
8.1 NZ Law Society Property Law for the Public https://www.lawsociety.org.nz/branches-sections-and-groups/property-law-section/property-law-for-the-public/ (Lawyers are trained to understand and advise on the implications of buying and selling property. Buying and selling a property extends far beyond the transfer of legal title. Your reasons for buying and selling, your family and financial circumstances, your plans and expectations for your own future and that of your family, and what happens to the property when you die are just some of the issues a property lawyer will consider and discuss with you)
8.2 Real Estate Authority - Settled https://www.settled.govt.nz/ (valuable information, checklists, quizzes, videos and tools — from understanding LIMs and to sale and purchase agreements, to when to contact a lawyer, settled.govt.nz explains what you need to know)
8.3 Consumer NZ - Neighbourhood disputes https://www.consumer.org.nz/articles/neighbourhood-disputes (There are a number of laws that may assist with common neighbourhood problems such as noise, rubbish, fencing and tree problems. Some practical solutions to resolving them.)
9. Traffic
9.1 Waka Kotahi NZTA - Road Code https://www.nzta.govt.nz/roadcode/general-road-code/ (A user-friendly guide to New Zealand's traffic law and safe driving practices.)
10. Constitutional & Government
10.1 Governor-General https://gg.govt.nz/office-governor-general/roles-and-functions-governor-general/constitutional-role/constitution/constitution (New Zealand's constitution is not found in one document. It has a number of sources, including crucial pieces of legislation, legal documents, common law derived from court decisions as well as established constitutional practices. Increasingly, New Zealand's constitution reflects the Treaty of Waitangi.)
10.2 Electoral Commission https://elections.nz/ (Supporting you to trust, value, understand and take part in New Zealand's democracy.)
10.3 Te Tari Taiwhenua Internal Affairs https://www.localcouncils.govt.nz/ (Local government in New Zealand, including sector-wide statistics, the relationship between central and local government, and how you can participate in local government policy decisions.)
10.4 Citizens Advice Bureau - Bill of Rights Act https://www.cab.org.nz/article/KB00001324 (What are my rights under the Bill of Rights Act?)
10.5 Office of the Privacy Commissioner https://www.privacy.org.nz/ (The Privacy Act 2020 is New Zealand's main privacy law. The Act primarily governs personal information about individual people, but the Privacy Commissioner can consider developments that affect personal privacy more widely.)
Mod notes
The above list is a basic, non-exhaustive guide to some free online New Zealand resources. Descriptions have been taken from websites listed. Please let the mods know if any links are not working, if you are aware of a free helpful legal resource that is not in this megathread, or with any other suggestions.
2023.06.07 23:32 Plastic-Arm-2412 When do they really start to get proactive in recovery?
My pa has been in recovery since January. It feels like he will do what he feels is necessary and convenient for him to do with his recovery but it feels like the bare minimum. He listens to the pbse podcast and dare to connect sessions (as do I) He has tried with sa but doesn't relate so doesn't have a sponsor or a group. He has therapy once a month. If the therapist sends him worksheets he doesn't do them till last minute and then not really in depth. He has read some books. He does journal and will try to do a check in every day although he misses some days. I have been printing off the assignments from d2c since January and only tonight did he look at the first one.
He keeps having emotional relapses where he will get defensive invalidate my feelings and go distant/cold. I am focusing on my own recovery I no longer have the energy to keep rescuing our relationship so I leave it up to him. He has no clue at all how to get back to a place of connection and stay there/ride the ups and downs. Despite having lots of resources at his finger tips. It's like he needs constant boundaries to push against then the fall out of me upholding them and pulling him up finally pushes him in to any action at all to see or address anything.
He is losing me. Its been our entire relationship his been in addiction (10 years) I am exhausted and bored. I am ready to move on. But it's like he needs a rocket up his bum to get him going and to see he is losing me. He tells me mixed messages of maybe it should be over so I can finally move on. Then how he doesn't want that and he can change.
This is such a long slow lonely process. If we didn't have children, a house and intertwined finances I'd just tell him to go and do his recovery somewhere else. I deserve Peace and happiness not a mopey man wandering the house without a clue what he is doing. I am already raising three boys I don't need another to raise but he has no hope on his own.
submitted by Plastic-Arm-2412 to PornFreeRelationships [link] [comments]
He keeps having emotional relapses where he will get defensive invalidate my feelings and go distant/cold. I am focusing on my own recovery I no longer have the energy to keep rescuing our relationship so I leave it up to him. He has no clue at all how to get back to a place of connection and stay there/ride the ups and downs. Despite having lots of resources at his finger tips. It's like he needs constant boundaries to push against then the fall out of me upholding them and pulling him up finally pushes him in to any action at all to see or address anything.
He is losing me. Its been our entire relationship his been in addiction (10 years) I am exhausted and bored. I am ready to move on. But it's like he needs a rocket up his bum to get him going and to see he is losing me. He tells me mixed messages of maybe it should be over so I can finally move on. Then how he doesn't want that and he can change.
This is such a long slow lonely process. If we didn't have children, a house and intertwined finances I'd just tell him to go and do his recovery somewhere else. I deserve Peace and happiness not a mopey man wandering the house without a clue what he is doing. I am already raising three boys I don't need another to raise but he has no hope on his own.
2023.06.07 23:26 __juless sex & endo
hi, would love some feedback about sex & endo.
to keep it brief, i started dealing with my symptoms in 2020, but they have rapidly gotten worse over the last few years. i've historically had a really high sex drive, enjoy different types of intimacy & experimenting & just being an empowered free lil sexual bird. luckily i don't have a lot of pain during penetration (although sometimes it does exist) but my sex drive has absolutely plummeted. i find myself becoming really angry and upset at my body which does not help my confidence. i feel like there's some type of alien in me that controls my moods, desires, and energy. i'm trying to maintain my sex life but it's starting to feel so exhausting. i want to want sex like i used to, i want to have the motivation to experiment and play like i used to.
does anyone relate to this experience? how have you been able to cope with it / adjust your lifestyle? are there things that you do that help you build confidence? any tips are so welcome & necessary
submitted by __juless to Endo [link] [comments]
to keep it brief, i started dealing with my symptoms in 2020, but they have rapidly gotten worse over the last few years. i've historically had a really high sex drive, enjoy different types of intimacy & experimenting & just being an empowered free lil sexual bird. luckily i don't have a lot of pain during penetration (although sometimes it does exist) but my sex drive has absolutely plummeted. i find myself becoming really angry and upset at my body which does not help my confidence. i feel like there's some type of alien in me that controls my moods, desires, and energy. i'm trying to maintain my sex life but it's starting to feel so exhausting. i want to want sex like i used to, i want to have the motivation to experiment and play like i used to.
does anyone relate to this experience? how have you been able to cope with it / adjust your lifestyle? are there things that you do that help you build confidence? any tips are so welcome & necessary
2023.06.07 22:57 next-step31 Promotion Promises vs. Alluring Offer: Which Path Should I Choose?
I’m currently employed at a prominent corporate company. While the pay is decent, it falls short of reflecting the true market value of my skills. Fortunately, I have a fantastic manager whom I genuinely admire as a person. Achieving a good work-life balance is possible in this role, and the benefits provided are truly exceptional. Moreover, my manager has promised me a promotion, and based on recent developments, it appears that it will materialize soon.
The opportunity for advancement arose when my previous manager was laid off, and I had the opportunity to step into his shoes. As a result, I have been recognized as his replacement, and my manager's plan is to expand our team by hiring a couple of developers who would report to me. However, due to a company-wide freeze on promotions, my manager needs to hire at least one person under me before he can promote me. Unfortunately, it seems that this hiring process may take up to six more months. Although my manager assures me that he highly values my contributions and wants to keep me satisfied, I can't help but wonder if he’s merely leading me on, as his reassurances are starting to sound like generic corporate responses.
Navigating the corporate politics within the company has become increasingly exhausting and disheartening. It's challenging to place trust in anyone's words, including those of my manager, as it seems everyone is trying to get ahead.
Recently, I received a tempting offer from a smaller firm, which includes 65k salary increase. The work they offer is genuinely interesting. However, during the interview process, I noticed a few red flags. The company's infrastructure appears to be a dumpster fire, and the hiring manager openly admitted they are currently understaffed, implying that I would be required to take on numerous responsibilities. Additionally, the lead architect has recently left, which means they want me to start immediately.
Given the circumstances, I am considering taking this offer to my manager in an attempt to expedite the promotion process. However, I am apprehensive that he might not respond favorably and may start searching for a replacement knowing that I have one foot out the door. Additionally in the current economic climate, I am uncertain whether it would be wise to change jobs. I don't want to jeopardize a good position, but I also don't want to convey the message that I’m content with being promoted whenever it suits the company, even if it means waiting until next year.
If you were in my shoes, would you present the offer to your manager? If so, how would you approach the conversation?
TL;DR - I’m contemplating whether to present a tempting job offer to their current manager in order to expedite the promotion process, despite concerns about potential repercussions and changing jobs in the current economic climate.
submitted by next-step31 to careerguidance [link] [comments]
The opportunity for advancement arose when my previous manager was laid off, and I had the opportunity to step into his shoes. As a result, I have been recognized as his replacement, and my manager's plan is to expand our team by hiring a couple of developers who would report to me. However, due to a company-wide freeze on promotions, my manager needs to hire at least one person under me before he can promote me. Unfortunately, it seems that this hiring process may take up to six more months. Although my manager assures me that he highly values my contributions and wants to keep me satisfied, I can't help but wonder if he’s merely leading me on, as his reassurances are starting to sound like generic corporate responses.
Navigating the corporate politics within the company has become increasingly exhausting and disheartening. It's challenging to place trust in anyone's words, including those of my manager, as it seems everyone is trying to get ahead.
Recently, I received a tempting offer from a smaller firm, which includes 65k salary increase. The work they offer is genuinely interesting. However, during the interview process, I noticed a few red flags. The company's infrastructure appears to be a dumpster fire, and the hiring manager openly admitted they are currently understaffed, implying that I would be required to take on numerous responsibilities. Additionally, the lead architect has recently left, which means they want me to start immediately.
Given the circumstances, I am considering taking this offer to my manager in an attempt to expedite the promotion process. However, I am apprehensive that he might not respond favorably and may start searching for a replacement knowing that I have one foot out the door. Additionally in the current economic climate, I am uncertain whether it would be wise to change jobs. I don't want to jeopardize a good position, but I also don't want to convey the message that I’m content with being promoted whenever it suits the company, even if it means waiting until next year.
If you were in my shoes, would you present the offer to your manager? If so, how would you approach the conversation?
TL;DR - I’m contemplating whether to present a tempting job offer to their current manager in order to expedite the promotion process, despite concerns about potential repercussions and changing jobs in the current economic climate.
2023.06.07 22:44 alittleboopsie ECS valved exhaust
Hey all,
So I’ve done lots of reading and haven’t found a great solution to installing this exhaust and wiring to accessory power. I see methods like switches in the interior but I wanted to wire to have live power when the car is turned off to prevent leeching on the battery. Anyone have a good write up or tip on how to go about doing this?
submitted by alittleboopsie to GolfGTI [link] [comments]
So I’ve done lots of reading and haven’t found a great solution to installing this exhaust and wiring to accessory power. I see methods like switches in the interior but I wanted to wire to have live power when the car is turned off to prevent leeching on the battery. Anyone have a good write up or tip on how to go about doing this?
2023.06.07 22:32 QualityCookies Tips on dealing with rejection sensitivity at work?
I haven't gotten any real negative feedback at work, IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD.
I overthink every little message I get from superiors/coworkers. I overthink completely normal feedback that's just part of my job. I even overthink the absence of messages. It's exhausting and makes me procrastinate like crazy.
Of course I have huge impostor syndrome and I believe they're gonna "catch me" and fire me at any moment.
The only thing that keeps me somewhat grounded is watching my coworker that has the same role and general skillset as me, and I've even seen how he procrastinates a little and he's doing just fine.
Does anyone have any tips on dealing with imaginary rejection at work?
submitted by QualityCookies to adhdwomen [link] [comments]
I overthink every little message I get from superiors/coworkers. I overthink completely normal feedback that's just part of my job. I even overthink the absence of messages. It's exhausting and makes me procrastinate like crazy.
Of course I have huge impostor syndrome and I believe they're gonna "catch me" and fire me at any moment.
The only thing that keeps me somewhat grounded is watching my coworker that has the same role and general skillset as me, and I've even seen how he procrastinates a little and he's doing just fine.
Does anyone have any tips on dealing with imaginary rejection at work?
2023.06.07 22:27 ArtLadyCat I keep making progress but the things I think won’t cause reactions cause them
Assume this has references to all the triggers. I’m sorry but it won’t let me tag more than one thing and this is also a rant.
So I’ve been to a LOT of therapy. I’ve been through various levels of sexual assault besides rape, rape, torture. I have had things given to me that altered my mind and made me see and hear things not there and that even permanently effected my health. I lost the parent I had who would have died before she let any of that happen and the one person left who could possibly acknowledge it was really really bad plays victim if I so much as seem like I might even lightly reference it in front of his gf. I am careful talking about it because I like her and she’s kinda horrified by stuff that’s innocent fr(like this silly thing when I was little where he dipped the tip of my nose in my mashed potatoes because I was a little kid insisting I was a cat because little kids do weird shit like that, and her reaction was so horrified. Like even at the time it was silly and everyone involved, minus his wife and my bio grandmother, was laughing. It was silly and he was using a playful thing to redirect the behavior of a small child. He didn’t press hard and nobody was traumatized by it. It was just a silly moment of childhood redirection. He didn’t shove my whole face in. He just made my nose unexpectedly touch it while I was trying to lick it like a cat as very small children are prone to do. If he hadn’t been such an enabler he would have been a much better grandfather and maybe even a better father to my mother. I can’t really say I suppose, just he had a good read on what was and wasn’t too far when it was himself.
Anyway- she’s horrified by that. That very innocent thing. She’d lose her shit and probably brain crash or something if she knew the things that went on in that house. The exact house my grandfather still lives in.
So meanwhile I thought I was past the point where people found things horrific I mention as if they aren’t that big of a deal but then I run into something new.
There just isn’t anything not sad I about how I grew up after my mom died. Even the ‘sweet’ stuff is also bitter. There is no simple happy memories. Everything existed in the constant shadow of abuse. It was to the point I forgot what it felt like to be happy. Not because I was depressed but because there was no reason to be happy and just so many reasons to be scared and hurt and upset and all I could do was feel it until I was so used to it I might as well have gone numb.
I can’t even have a simple convo about book fairs or anything from childhood without people feeling sorry for me and I hate it. I’m not HER. I don’t need or want pity! I just want to have a conversation without having to worry if it’s gonna silence a room or bring pitying looks or just even online. I end up with both positive and negative feelings about it and just no actual words that wouldn’t be jumbled up word salad.
People say ‘you are more than your trauma’ but sometimes I’m reminded how little that matters if simple convo people use to understand one another turns into that.
When I was younger I just wanted to be normal but as an older adult I recognize that while I can give kiddo ‘normal’ to that effect I will never know what that feels like myself and that makes it harder to make friends and interact than it already is.
It’s hard to not respond, to keep it from blowing into trauma dump when this happens (non responses weren’t allowed and were heavily punished) but it’s difficult and exhausting and in no way shape or form their fault.
I don’t resent the positive energy/vibes or the ‘hope you are in a better place now than back then for what it is(innocent well wishing), not is this rant about people who do that. I am frustrated with myself. Just when I think the bar for withholding info to not make people feel bad or traumatize them indirectly with how bad it was something cos up and I learn my childhood has things I didn’t even think of as horrific that others find so EVEN NOW.
On top of it, the way my mind works and the way I communicate involves explaining and it always has. It even annoyed kids in kindergarten and preschool because of the way I’d relay things they talked about so that part isn’t ptsd, let alone cptsd but it means I’ve spent a lifetime trying and failing to find a different way to communicate that work for me and it has just never worked!
I don’t have positive things to relay like others do. Reframing doesn’t work, desensitizing is kinda the problem rather than the solution, and nothing works and I just hate that I am so fucking broken.
submitted by ArtLadyCat to CPTSD [link] [comments]
So I’ve been to a LOT of therapy. I’ve been through various levels of sexual assault besides rape, rape, torture. I have had things given to me that altered my mind and made me see and hear things not there and that even permanently effected my health. I lost the parent I had who would have died before she let any of that happen and the one person left who could possibly acknowledge it was really really bad plays victim if I so much as seem like I might even lightly reference it in front of his gf. I am careful talking about it because I like her and she’s kinda horrified by stuff that’s innocent fr(like this silly thing when I was little where he dipped the tip of my nose in my mashed potatoes because I was a little kid insisting I was a cat because little kids do weird shit like that, and her reaction was so horrified. Like even at the time it was silly and everyone involved, minus his wife and my bio grandmother, was laughing. It was silly and he was using a playful thing to redirect the behavior of a small child. He didn’t press hard and nobody was traumatized by it. It was just a silly moment of childhood redirection. He didn’t shove my whole face in. He just made my nose unexpectedly touch it while I was trying to lick it like a cat as very small children are prone to do. If he hadn’t been such an enabler he would have been a much better grandfather and maybe even a better father to my mother. I can’t really say I suppose, just he had a good read on what was and wasn’t too far when it was himself.
Anyway- she’s horrified by that. That very innocent thing. She’d lose her shit and probably brain crash or something if she knew the things that went on in that house. The exact house my grandfather still lives in.
So meanwhile I thought I was past the point where people found things horrific I mention as if they aren’t that big of a deal but then I run into something new.
There just isn’t anything not sad I about how I grew up after my mom died. Even the ‘sweet’ stuff is also bitter. There is no simple happy memories. Everything existed in the constant shadow of abuse. It was to the point I forgot what it felt like to be happy. Not because I was depressed but because there was no reason to be happy and just so many reasons to be scared and hurt and upset and all I could do was feel it until I was so used to it I might as well have gone numb.
I can’t even have a simple convo about book fairs or anything from childhood without people feeling sorry for me and I hate it. I’m not HER. I don’t need or want pity! I just want to have a conversation without having to worry if it’s gonna silence a room or bring pitying looks or just even online. I end up with both positive and negative feelings about it and just no actual words that wouldn’t be jumbled up word salad.
People say ‘you are more than your trauma’ but sometimes I’m reminded how little that matters if simple convo people use to understand one another turns into that.
When I was younger I just wanted to be normal but as an older adult I recognize that while I can give kiddo ‘normal’ to that effect I will never know what that feels like myself and that makes it harder to make friends and interact than it already is.
It’s hard to not respond, to keep it from blowing into trauma dump when this happens (non responses weren’t allowed and were heavily punished) but it’s difficult and exhausting and in no way shape or form their fault.
I don’t resent the positive energy/vibes or the ‘hope you are in a better place now than back then for what it is(innocent well wishing), not is this rant about people who do that. I am frustrated with myself. Just when I think the bar for withholding info to not make people feel bad or traumatize them indirectly with how bad it was something cos up and I learn my childhood has things I didn’t even think of as horrific that others find so EVEN NOW.
On top of it, the way my mind works and the way I communicate involves explaining and it always has. It even annoyed kids in kindergarten and preschool because of the way I’d relay things they talked about so that part isn’t ptsd, let alone cptsd but it means I’ve spent a lifetime trying and failing to find a different way to communicate that work for me and it has just never worked!
I don’t have positive things to relay like others do. Reframing doesn’t work, desensitizing is kinda the problem rather than the solution, and nothing works and I just hate that I am so fucking broken.
2023.06.07 22:27 jfiddy NBA Picks - 6/7/23
Predicting the NBA using Monte Carlo Simulations and Advanced Rate Stats
Back at it again this year. For people new to this, here's some quick links for the yearly recaps: 2020-2021 - 2021-2022
TL;DR
Today's Slate (6/7/23)
\) Includes projections for players listed as questionable
† Unofficial projection due to lack of data
# Indicates # of games worth of data available for this team's lineup
Notes
BTC: bc1q339p9sxvk6srp0087c9zaccyc7w9dxu94v7x3k
FAQ:
Link to FAQ
Previous Slate (6/4/23)
# Indicates # of games worth of data available for this team's lineup
Notes
Previous: 1-2 (-0.9U)
Season: 457-457 (-75.87U)
Daily Model Record
ATS: 0-1
O/U: 1-0
Total Model Record
ATS: 180-171 (51%)
O/U: 200-157 (56%)
submitted by jfiddy to jfiddy_caps [link] [comments]
Back at it again this year. For people new to this, here's some quick links for the yearly recaps: 2020-2021 - 2021-2022
TL;DR
Today's Slate (6/7/23)
| Home | Away | Spread | Total | Prediction | % home covering | % over |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| MIA | DEN | 3 | 214.5 | 10710 - 11510 | 30 | 77 |
† Unofficial projection due to lack of data
# Indicates # of games worth of data available for this team's lineup
Notes
- Out/Questionable:
- MIA/DEN - T Herro Out, V Oladipo Out
- DEN -3 5U @ 1.91 (they basically had it last game and choked in the 4th, expecting a bounceback here)
- Murray 25+ P 2U @ 1.83, 37+ PRA 2U @ 1.88
- MPJ 8+ R 2U @ 2.05
BTC: bc1q339p9sxvk6srp0087c9zaccyc7w9dxu94v7x3k
FAQ:
Link to FAQ
Previous Slate (6/4/23)
| Home | Away | Spread | Total | Prediction | % home covering | % over | Final |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| DEN | MIA | -8.5 | 216 | 11810 - 10010 | 80 ❌ | 59 ✅ | 108-111 |
Notes
- Out/Questionable:
- None
- DEN -8.5 2U @ 1.91 ❌
- Strus U13.5 PRA 2U @ 1.86 ❌, U3.5R 5U @ 1.62 ✅
- no Denver no
Previous: 1-2 (-0.9U)
Season: 457-457 (-75.87U)
Daily Model Record
ATS: 0-1
O/U: 1-0
Total Model Record
ATS: 180-171 (51%)
O/U: 200-157 (56%)
2023.06.07 22:21 Darkovika Idk what I’m gonna do when husband goes off of paternity leave (help?)
Tl;dr please tell me how you made having a toddler and a 3 week old work.
We’re halfway through his paternity leave, which is only 3 weeks. He’s literally my lifeline. I have a toddler (M21mo) and our newborn baby daughter, and I’m no closer to figuring out the ways to get her to sleep. Last night it took us 4-5 hours from 8:00pm to 1:00am. I was in tears. She did sleep for almost 4 hours after that (she’s healthy, gained over a pound in weight as of today since birth) but after that it took nearly 2 hours to get her down, and them she slept for an HOUR. Her appointment was at 10:45am so I didn’t even really get to go back to sleep very much.
Sometimes she’s a total champ, and sometimes she’s still figuring out her body and farting in particular.
My husband keeps our toddler entertained all day. I can’t rely on screen time because he just genuinely has such a bad reaction to them after even 5 minutes- full meltdown, screaming, everything I fear with screen time. I just can’t do it with him right now.
Idk what to do. How did anyone do this? Tips? Ideas? Plans? Happy stories of it all working out? My toddler currently loved her and I’ve been doing so good on keeping him involved but I’m so worried that without sleep I’m just going to unravel.
This isn’t to say my husband will just vanish, but I want to respect his work, because despite paternity leave sucking, they’re VERY good to us and have let him take off for literally every appointment, zero complaints, and sent us a very expensive gift. He’s a fantastic husband and father and I love him literally to the ends of the world and he’ll never just leave me to suffer, but it’s the principal, at least for me. I will have to rely on myself a lot more.
submitted by Darkovika to Mommit [link] [comments]
We’re halfway through his paternity leave, which is only 3 weeks. He’s literally my lifeline. I have a toddler (M21mo) and our newborn baby daughter, and I’m no closer to figuring out the ways to get her to sleep. Last night it took us 4-5 hours from 8:00pm to 1:00am. I was in tears. She did sleep for almost 4 hours after that (she’s healthy, gained over a pound in weight as of today since birth) but after that it took nearly 2 hours to get her down, and them she slept for an HOUR. Her appointment was at 10:45am so I didn’t even really get to go back to sleep very much.
Sometimes she’s a total champ, and sometimes she’s still figuring out her body and farting in particular.
My husband keeps our toddler entertained all day. I can’t rely on screen time because he just genuinely has such a bad reaction to them after even 5 minutes- full meltdown, screaming, everything I fear with screen time. I just can’t do it with him right now.
Idk what to do. How did anyone do this? Tips? Ideas? Plans? Happy stories of it all working out? My toddler currently loved her and I’ve been doing so good on keeping him involved but I’m so worried that without sleep I’m just going to unravel.
This isn’t to say my husband will just vanish, but I want to respect his work, because despite paternity leave sucking, they’re VERY good to us and have let him take off for literally every appointment, zero complaints, and sent us a very expensive gift. He’s a fantastic husband and father and I love him literally to the ends of the world and he’ll never just leave me to suffer, but it’s the principal, at least for me. I will have to rely on myself a lot more.
2023.06.07 22:16 MoneySmile8002 Help! Corolla APEX wheels on hatchback?
Anyone do this yet? Wondering if it looks good.
I’m also throwing it in a magnetic gray body with a black spoiler.
I’m also trying to add the XSE lower read bumper trip with the exhaust tip designs, is that possible to buy from dealership?
submitted by MoneySmile8002 to CorollaHatchback [link] [comments]
I’m also throwing it in a magnetic gray body with a black spoiler.
I’m also trying to add the XSE lower read bumper trip with the exhaust tip designs, is that possible to buy from dealership?
2023.06.07 21:54 snmnc123 Looking for Feedback on List of Potential Purchases
They’ve all passed the eye test, mainly looking for feedback based on experience with the yeamodel of each. Also, these are not the prices I’m willing to pay, these are list prices. I’m not dropping $8k on that Acura lol
Also they’re just in order of how I found them so pay no mind to the disorganization.
submitted by snmnc123 to whatcarshouldIbuy [link] [comments]
Also they’re just in order of how I found them so pay no mind to the disorganization.