We're a group of DnD players looking to start a DnD campaign hosting offline sessions every tuesday in the north of London (near Finsbury Park). We're looking for 1-2 more players to complete the group. We haven't decided on a DM yet, so if you want to DM thats great, if not, some of us are willing to DM as well. Hit me up on discord Kraterkacke#5853.
looking forward to hearing from you :D

There is event near me that’s been playing endless music for hours on end and it Is overstimulating. I complained and people are telling me that I should put on headphones or music. I tried that ages ago and it didn’t help long of much. I just wanted to complain and be met with something like they get it, it’s annoying. Not telling me what to do. It is upsetting, I’m not a child. I know my limits and I have met them.

I'm (25M) in a complicated new friend with benefits (25F) and have been having sex, and hanging out a lot since the start of March.
For some context, we have both come out of serious relationships in February and she was planning on moving from the UK to her home country at the end of April. We've not hashed out every detail of our situation but we've each expressed how we wanted to be exclusive until she left.
We've gotten quite close and now she is reconsidering her move and may stay in the UK long-term (I am slightly related to that change of heart). I like her so much that I'd strongly consider dating her as we've been really honest and open, and we both know how much we like each other. Even though at the start of my breakup in Feb I was resolute in staying single for a long time, she is worth reconsidering.
Now the problem. She recently retired from a very prestigious dance company and had a big going away celebration after a show which I was not a part of as I was busy. I very nearly joined them as she was desperate for me to join and it was only 10 minutes away from my house but because she was planning on clubbing and I had work the next morning I declined. She was drunk and I let her know before I slept that if she ever needed anything she could call me and I will be there for her.
By the end of the morning, I knew something happened. We already had plans for Friday but she was conspicuously absent and didn't reply to my messages until late in the afternoon when the time to meet was approaching. She eventually came to my house and, even though she initially did not plan on telling me, she felt she had to be honest with me. She was partying with a large group of friends but eventually tagged along with a group of 2 guys and 1 girl. I'll call them Kevin, John, and Kate. They all went to various clubs and eventually arrived at Kate's house. She prefaced this part that she did not have a good time.
For additional context, she had spoken to me about Kevin previously and they hooked up twice but that was around 7ish months ago. She did not have a great experience with him but was still considered a nice guy and has some standing in their industry.
At this point she had sobered up some but was clearly tipsy. The guys had offered her drinks at every opportunity. Then John and Kate inexplicably start having sex right next to her and Kevin. Then Kevin tries to start on her and initially she refuses but at the suggestion that they all have a foursome she decides to go for it. She made it a point to tell me that when with me she gets incredibly wet and it is very true. With the foursome, she refused to give the guys blowjobs and was completely dry and no matter what they tried no penetration was possible even though both Kevin and John tried to force themselves in. At this point, she quit and went to sleep on the sofa while the other three had sex in Kate's bedroom. After sleeping for a couple of hours, she left without saying bye.
At this point in the story, she tells me of the times Kevin and John kept getting her drinks throughout the evening. She also recalled how in a goodbye/closure type meeting with her ex (who works with her) just before the night out, Kevin interrupted them and tried to force his way into their conversation. As well as this, during the night out, she was talking to some guys and they asked for her instagram at which point Kevin stepped in and was trying to stop her from giving it. She then tells me an additional part of her previous hook-up with Kevin. They had unprotected sex and he came inside her without her consent and did not take steps to help her afterwards in terms of emergency contraception or comfort.
As they get to Kate's house, Kevin and John go into the bathroom together for a 'meeting' and are talking for some minutes. She then tells me how she discovered Friday morning that apparently these three regularly have group sex and invite friends. She was completely unaware the whole evening.
It is clear this situation is so fucked up and positively disgusting from the overt predatory behaviour and I am so genuinely upset and angry for her that this has happened. There was so much apologising from her and she felt so incredibly guilty and vowed to never do anything like this while we continue. She is so sorry because, while she knows she was drunk and being taken advantage of, she still feels she made the express decision to stay and involve herself when the situation was turning very weird at Kate's house.
I cannot speak to anybody I know about this. I can't break her confidence and I do not want anyone to think differently of her. But I cannot deny that I do now. I completely understand that it is such a fucked up situation but what we had is in jeopardy. The images of what she told me have really hit me hard and I do not know how I can get over this. Some part of me feels guilty about this but I cannot help but not truly trust her judgement. She has told me a few stories of her doing quite risky things (getting in a cab at 3 am to go have sex with a musician at his hotel and she had never personally met him before - stories of this ilk), generally involving herself with unsavoury people, and not to mention even considering going near that bastard Kevin.
On one hand, I am so upset that this happened to someone I care for, but on the other, I am angry and feel like I'm being taken for a mug and my feelings have been misplaced in someone I cannot trust.
My questions are:
Will I ever be able to get over this and how?
How can I best address my feelings to her in an appropriate way?
Can I or should I actually trust her?
​
TLDR: FwB that I am falling for got very drunk, had a foursome, and I'm struggling to reconcile my feelings and do not know if I can trust her or progress this to a relationship anymore.

and my sole subject of affection.
Anyways~ I hope that you are doing fine right now and if that's alright, may I have your attention for a second? Or well.. maybe a couple minutes?
How are you holding up? On my side, I'm taking it easy since I'm finally graduated and having some break trying not to do anything bizzare, I hope that you are doing fine right now and keep breathing ! Also if that's alright, may I have your attention for a second? I'm kidding it'll take longer than that so.. maybe a couple minutes? There is no age limit, but at least please be legal.
So, let me introduce myself as someone whom looking for an acquaintance with a genuine potential awesome individual with a pure soul and perhaps we will ended up rescuing dogs in the future together, we will never know if we never try, right? All I ask is that please be respectful towards each others and hopefully we can develop something meaningful for both of us during the process. My physical feature: 5 feet, dark brown eyes, black hair, bombshell body type, me: https://ibb.co/2S3qvHX
Personally, I am that one "care too much" kind of person who is also have a soft spot for a skincare / self-care / skin wellness thing since I am a certified beauty advisor ( but my certificate is completely useless rn ) and unfortunately I have no one to apply this skill on besides myself lately, so if you ever wanted to be a volunteer then I'll accept you with an open arms ! There is no such thing as asking too much question about this topic, I'm glad to help (: Tell me your issues and I will try my best to find the best skincare solution for you.
Furthermore, I love to categorise myself as an old school soul who still believe in the power of a monogamy idea so if you're in a relationship or you're that someone who is in an open relationship, we can only be a platonic one ( this is a final call so there is no blurry line in between ). All that I can ask from you is to be honest about yourself/ your relationship status. I'm not looking for a "getaway car" or an unfinished past kind of thing. Also not looking for an encounter with an upset gf or partner along the way.
One of my good trait is that I never forgot to say please or sorry or thank you under a certain circumstances (: my type of personality is ENTP said the Myers-Briggs and I'm putting it out there because it does matter for some people. For my bad trait is that I can have an episode of a mental breakdown due to my BPD issue, but I try to do better now. Even though,a boss girl has her weak moment sometimes I mean I am also that Passenger Princess, but as long as we can be each others hypeman/woman then I think nothing is impossible! Also probably I should really stop put my heart of my sleeve though, it burns me so many time before. Three things that you must possess : honesty, loyalty, and integrity, in other words don't be a shady or a bigotry person.
IMPORTANT : I will leave the meet up plan to you when things require us to meet in real life. So if you're not in a position to travel abroad to where I am at, then please just ignore this and let's not waste eachother's time because I'm not looking for an online fling.
Whew, so is this the end? Yes.. this is the end of this blabber but also the beginning of our amazing acquaintance, can't wait to be wined and dined by you !
I am keen to discuss about any further information and get to know you though do mind the time difference (; which is GMT + 6:7 so feel free to respond this if I'm your cup of coffee, yeah I know it's supposed to be a tea but hey whatever floats our boats, right? P.S. still looking to meet you as long as this post existing on here.

Its been 15 months and i post once a month for keeping as a diary as well.

• Still have terrible mornings, i wake up and feels like my brain is not working well. I dont feel anxious or depressed but i dont feel right as well. Things seems kind of blurry and doesnt feel right. I dont know if this is dissociation.
  
• veins appear multiple times per day for a few moments in legs and arms
  
• feeling tired physically and mentally
  

Of course i have improved since the first months but i am starting to worry that this is the new me.
Every day is a challenge. Some days more easier, some days harder
I rest as i can (i am working in office 40 hours per week) I am doing vagus nerve exercises and try to keep positive as i can. I limited sugar and coffee.
The only supplements and drugs i take is beta blocker.
I am thinking to start again pepcid or l theanine.
Wish the best to everyone here.

I have 1 older brother, 3 older sisters, 1 younger brother, and 2 younger sisters. I was born from an Asian country. My mom had a stroke awhile ago like their mom. While my dad passed away about 10 years ago. My oldest sister and I are living in the US.
Beginning in 2020, I traveled to the US country for vacation and my aunt heard a relative around for any recommendation regarding a potential husband(Rob) for me. My aunt and uncle reached out to them and recommended me. I was accepted by their family and we decided to move forward with the process and they allowed me to live in their house and I worked at their family owned business.
Their mom had a stroke around mid 2021, which caused her to be paralyzed on the left side, needing assistance for moving around, and doing daily activities. Their family has not been the same and the situation affected all of us living in the house. Their mom is in bed most of the time and speaks to whomever she can speak with especially with her family and I.
Within 1 year, I eventually got to know their family and got closer to Rob. We both decided to get married late 2021 with the support from both side of the family.
My mom-in-law and I would have conversations about her worries and concerns for her family's future for more than a year now because their mom is in bed most of the time and not completely there anymore.
My mom-in-law asked me to look/recommend someone for Jack. I saw an opportunity to recommend one of my sister that is currently living in my country because this will align with my main agenda by bringing my family members over to the US because the living standard is better over here than in the other country, I will be given praise from my family and extended family that I was capable to do such a thing in a small amount of time. At this point, I'm making a power move for one of my sister to come over to the US for a better future. And I see Jack as a potential candidate to do it. I will have more control, power, and influence on both side of the family near the future.
Their mom is in agreement with me because their mom is liking the recommended sister that will be great for the family and from how my sister is religiously devoted. In actuality, my oldest sister and I truly love our family that is overseas, and I'm feeling obligated with responsibility to do anything to bring one of my sisters over to the US for a better future.
So I planned an overseas trip and brought Jack along so he can get to know the family and especially my recommended sister.
After 3-4 months from the overseas trip, Jack's parents have been insisting him to do it rather he likes it or not because his parents realized the overseas trip potentially didn't bring any connection/meaningful relationship with my recommended sister. And I can see it as well. His personality is okay, but needs to change a lot. He has no friends, not finished with college, lives inside the room comes in and out for eating then goes back inside. I don't trust him anymore. I thought I could get him on my side for sure but it seems like it is too much manipulation, he notices.
I was having long conversations with my oldest sister before traveling overseas and if I played it right then I could narrow one of my sisters for Jack without me suggesting any other options outside the family for him. My plan was to want more from my family-in-laws and trick/brainwash their mind to doing such a thing for my family without having to directly ask Jack and reveal my true intentions. I believe this has to do with me wanting more from my family-in-laws and human nature to take advantage of someone and people around them.
Jack has 4 older brothers and his parents. The second and third have moved out. His oldest brother(married to me), the fourth, and Jack(the youngest) along with their parents living under the same household.
If Jack does bring one of my sisters over to the US and things fallout between the relationship then it would have been still a win-win situation for my family because she would had the opportunity to stay in the US.
The positive consequences for my family and I far out weigh the negative consequences with bringing one of my sister over to the US.
I lived with my family-in-laws for 3 years so far and I work hard with high motivation and lots of interest because I'm having tax incentives with being married to Rob getting extremely supportive from my family-in-laws. I'm saving my money and I will most likely be in control of the family business with Rob near the future. So, I'm sitting pretty well by staying with my family-in-laws for the past 3 years, rent free, utilities free, and support from my family-in-laws. I want more because I see the opportunity, the power, and influence I have on my family-in-laws. Having money, living in the US, sharing it with my family that is overseas shows where I stand with my family overseas and my influence on the people around me after coming to the US. Almost like showing dominance over another individual or family household member.
I'm well respected because I'm a hard worker, dedicated, and a highly motivated individual. However, I believe I might be asking for too much at this point. My oldest sister's agenda and my agenda is not right when you incorporate more things that involve families from our family because I believe it is wrong to a certain degree it would be better if it was someone outside my family members or not have even planned it out to begin with. Things need to happen organically not forcefully or manipulatively because the relationship will not last long term. Sometimes, I don't care and do it because I want things and I do it regardless. My oldest sister and I are thankful for what we currently have because it can all slip away easily.
My newlywed husband Rob agrees with me because he is now married to me and I love my spouse more than anybody else. Rob tells me everything and say things to me because he worries for his family and he loves his mom, but I need to know more things about his family and I have high interest with things from my overseas family.
Their mom is out of the picture because of her illness and she is highly influenced by her current state of mind. She is extremely devoted to religion along with Rob and I. Their dad doesn't care that much, but is still trying to do his best to mediate the situation for what happened before the overseas trip, during the overseas trip, and up until now.
At this point for me, I'm willing to do things because it has some meaning or associated with things I love near to my heart. At this age, I believe you either have high interest or doing it out of love.
Tl;dr: I need help with inputs, opinions, and suggestions from anyone, if what I did was extremely wrong, toxic, or just using them and my family-in-laws. It seems like I'm desperate to bringing one of my sister over because my family overseas is having no luck, so I'm trying to push my luck onto my family overseas. I did give back to my country and gave money I worked(tax free) from the support of his family business overseas. I do naturally want control, obedience, loyalty, and cooperation from the family despite knowing the family in such a small amount of time. Do you think they will think I'm manipulative, by being toxic, harmful, and controlling?

I have 1 older brother, 3 older sisters, 1 younger brother, and 2 younger sisters. I was born from an Asian country. My mom had a stroke awhile ago like their mom. While my dad passed away about 10 years ago. My oldest sister and I are living in the US.
Beginning in 2020, I traveled to the US country for vacation and my aunt heard a relative around for any recommendation regarding a potential husband(Rob) for me. My aunt and uncle reached out to them and recommended me. I was accepted by their family and we decided to move forward with the process and they allowed me to live in their house and I worked at their family owned business.
Their mom had a stroke around mid 2021, which caused her to be paralyzed on the left side, needing assistance for moving around, and doing daily activities. Their family has not been the same and the situation affected all of us living in the house. Their mom is in bed most of the time and speaks to whomever she can speak with especially with her family and I.
Within 1 year, I eventually got to know their family and got closer to Rob. We both decided to get married late 2021 with the support from both side of the family.
My mom-in-law and I would have conversations about her worries and concerns for her family's future for more than a year now because their mom is in bed most of the time and not completely there anymore.
My mom-in-law asked me to look/recommend someone for Jack. I saw an opportunity to recommend one of my sister that is currently living in my country because this will align with my main agenda by bringing my family members over to the US because the living standard is better over here than in the other country, I will be given praise from my family and extended family that I was capable to do such a thing in a small amount of time. At this point, I'm making a power move for one of my sister to come over to the US for a better future. And I see Jack as a potential candidate to do it. I will have more control, power, and influence on both side of the family near the future.
Their mom is in agreement with me because their mom is liking the recommended sister that will be great for the family and from how my sister is religiously devoted. In actuality, my oldest sister and I truly love our family that is overseas, and I'm feeling obligated with responsibility to do anything to bring one of my sisters over to the US for a better future.
So I planned an overseas trip and brought Jack along so he can get to know the family and especially my recommended sister.
After 3-4 months from the overseas trip, Jack's parents have been insisting him to do it rather he likes it or not because his parents realized the overseas trip potentially didn't bring any connection/meaningful relationship with my recommended sister. And I can see it as well. His personality is okay, but needs to change a lot. He has no friends, not finished with college, lives inside the room comes in and out for eating then goes back inside. I don't trust him anymore. I thought I could get him on my side for sure but it seems like it is too much manipulation, he notices.
I was having long conversations with my oldest sister before traveling overseas and if I played it right then I could narrow one of my sisters for Jack without me suggesting any other options outside the family for him. My plan was to want more from my family-in-laws and trick/brainwash their mind to doing such a thing for my family without having to directly ask Jack and reveal my true intentions. I believe this has to do with me wanting more from my family-in-laws and human nature to take advantage of someone and people around them.
Jack has 4 older brothers and his parents. The second and third have moved out. His oldest brother(married to me), the fourth, and Jack(the youngest) along with their parents living under the same household.
If Jack does bring one of my sisters over to the US and things fallout between the relationship then it would have been still a win-win situation for my family because she would had the opportunity to stay in the US.
The positive consequences for my family and I far out weigh the negative consequences with bringing one of my sister over to the US.
I lived with my family-in-laws for 3 years so far and I work hard with high motivation and lots of interest because I'm having tax incentives with being married to Rob getting extremely supportive from my family-in-laws. I'm saving my money and I will most likely be in control of the family business with Rob near the future. So, I'm sitting pretty well by staying with my family-in-laws for the past 3 years, rent free, utilities free, and support from my family-in-laws. I want more because I see the opportunity, the power, and influence I have on my family-in-laws. Having money, living in the US, sharing it with my family that is overseas shows where I stand with my family overseas and my influence on the people around me after coming to the US. Almost like showing dominance over another individual or family household member.
I'm well respected because I'm a hard worker, dedicated, and a highly motivated individual. However, I believe I might be asking for too much at this point. My oldest sister's agenda and my agenda is not right when you incorporate more things that involve families from our family because I believe it is wrong to a certain degree it would be better if it was someone outside my family members or not have even planned it out to begin with. Things need to happen organically not forcefully or manipulatively because the relationship will not last long term. Sometimes, I don't care and do it because I want things and I do it regardless. My oldest sister and I are thankful for what we currently have because it can all slip away easily.
My newlywed husband Rob agrees with me because he is now married to me and I love my spouse more than anybody else. Rob tells me everything and say things to me because he worries for his family and he loves his mom, but I need to know more things about his family and I have high interest with things from my overseas family.
Their mom is out of the picture because of her illness and she is highly influenced by her current state of mind. She is extremely devoted to religion along with Rob and I. Their dad doesn't care that much, but is still trying to do his best to mediate the situation for what happened before the overseas trip, during the overseas trip, and up until now.
At this point for me, I'm willing to do things because it has some meaning or associated with things I love near to my heart. At this age, I believe you either have high interest or doing it out of love.
Tl;dr: I need help with inputs, opinions, and suggestions from anyone, if what I did was extremely wrong, toxic, or just using them and my family-in-laws. It seems like I'm desperate to bringing one of my sister over because my family overseas is having no luck, so I'm trying to push my luck onto my family overseas. I did give back to my country and gave money I worked(tax free) from the support of his family business overseas. I do naturally want control, obedience, loyalty, and cooperation from the family despite knowing the family in such a small amount of time. Do you think they will think I'm manipulative, by being toxic, harmful, and controlling?

So yesterday I had a very stressful day and an upsetting argument with my boss about me leaving soon (I'm leaving voluntarily), at one point I threatened him with my lawyer and it got all a little messy. It was also the last day for 3 of my coworkers who he fired (it doesn't look good for my company overall) and after work we said goodbye to them and everyone started drinking in the office. I drank myself NA beer (what was surprisingly good) and watched my coworkers go tipsy and funny (I like watching drunk people when I'm sober it seems :D). when they headed out to a bar to continue drowning their anger and sorrow I became very tempted to go with them, excused myself and went to a good friend instead, spent the early evening with him and his girlfriend, ranting about my boss and my company while drinking lemon tea. I got home about 9pm, watched my favorite show with my boyfriend and slept early. Now I'm feeling great with my coffee and a late breakfast on Saturday noon!
I'm proud that I didn't give in and
IWNDWYT 🎈

If we can drive for this company we can survive driving for just about any order aggregator.. that's for sure.. I kinda had to remind myself of what I was saying awhile back actually
Keep good records of your ratings and driving experience and use it to find better driving opportunities 👍 I took nearly 4000 deliveries for the pizza place and have absolutely nothing to show for that
But we can show our DoorDash driving experience to potential employers .. so that is the silver lining, I'd say
I'm a good driver who customers absolutely love working with and I'm hard working and I actually care about customer experience- with that in mind, I know I won't be stuck working with reptilian minded protozoa such as DoorDash
Anyway I hope that thought can provide some hope to those of us who ended up in a bad spot after working our azzes off for these pieces of scum
Me I'm a firm believer in being hell bent upon turning bad into good .. I'm really fighting becoming bitter and or giving up lately.. I know a lot of us are
I hope that everyone is okay out there 🙏❤️ I know I'm not, for now, anyway 🥴 my living situation is horrible my automobile is on her last leg barely two of my tires aren't happy about being inflated and my thermostat is stuck open and etc 😅
There's a LOT of us struggling out here for sure

NEVERGIVEUP #ONELOVE

Greetings from across the miles
Are you ready to have some fun and spice up your life?
I'm looking for a partner who values open and honest communication, privacy, and mutual respect.
Someone interested in building a deep connection and having some online fun through audio and video calls, and sharing pictures.
I love to work out, take long walks, and watch movies and TV shows. I like to read about history. And for me, relaxation is having a coffee with a nice book.
I'm excited to learn about your passions, interests, and how you like to have fun. Do you have any exciting activities you like to indulge in? Let's explore each other's playful side and create some unforgettable moments together.
If you're looking for a trustworthy partner who is eager to discover all that life has to offer, both intellectually and playfully, then let's connect and see where this journey takes us.

I was swimming around the pond with my friends. While swimming it is always nice to bump into each other once in a while. A little chuckle comes along whenever that happens. I like to look around while I am swimming. There are few water lilies near the rocks on which few kids were playing. They had something shiny in their hands and as I was looking at them the object in boys hand fell into the lake. I wanted to help him retrieve the object and started swimming towards it. When I reached near it, I could see someone else in the object. Wait a minute let try again.
Yeah, there is someone else in it. One of my friends pointed out that the person inside the object was looking just like me. I went ahead and had a look into it. All my friends had beautiful golden skin and I always thought I looked the same. But here in this object I could see I was not same. I went ahead and asked my friend are you sure?
My friend answered “Yes, it is you in the object.”
I could see I had blue and black spots over my golden skin. My fins were in shiny silver. Well, “I am different yet pretty.”

Greetings from across the miles
Are you ready to have some fun and spice up your life?
I'm looking for a partner who values open and honest communication, privacy, and mutual respect.
Someone interested in building a deep connection and having some online fun through audio and video calls, and sharing pictures.
Emmm, I'm studying medicine and preparing for medical residency.
I love to work out, take long walks, and watch movies and TV shows. I like to read about history. And for me, relaxation is having a coffee with a nice book.
I'm excited to learn about your passions, interests, and how you like to have fun. Do you have any exciting activities you like to indulge in? Let's explore each other's playful side and create some unforgettable moments together.
If you're looking for a trustworthy partner who is eager to discover all that life has to offer, both intellectually and playfully, then let's connect and see where this journey takes us

I've made my first few designs and pretty proud of them too I must say lol, however, rather than simply selling them on Teemill market place, I'm wondering, can I stockpile say a hundred of them and go on to sell them at my family's market stall? We have a market near us in town and I know people would love them. Is there anything stopping me from selling them like this at a profit?

When I was 23 years old, I stepped on the scale at 5'9" and weighed 320 lbs. It was the largest I ever actually weighed on a scale, but I'm sure that wasn’t my heaviest. Three months later I left for Umpire school in Florida. I had always thought umpires were allowed to be fat, which couldn't have been farther from the truth. After five weeks I had lost 20lbs just due to umpiring 6 days a week with instruction. At the end of umpire school, you are hoping to get a position in minor league baseball. I was denied for one reason, my weight. It was an eye-opening experience that I wouldn't be able to pursue my dream job because I was fat. From there I dropped to 285 lbs. leading up to my summer league season and then maintained that weight because God help you losing weight on the road. I showed back up at umpire school down another 30 lbs. to 255. They almost didn't move me on due to my weight again, but knew I wanted it and that I was a talented umpire. This led to the next 8 years of my life in professional baseball. My lowest weight was 169 lbs. and that made me miserable. I had a now major league umpire turn to me and say are you even happy? My answer was a very quick no. I was hungry all the time and felt I was missing out just to keep being extremely skinny. This led to my next passion, power lifting, which allowed me to eat more, but still maintain my overall aesthetic.. Despite my newfound fitness passion, the seven-month baseball season is far too grueling and difficult to maintain your normal weight. I weighed in every year at 17X lb. weight. However, I also finished every season at 200+with one year being 215. This weight loss and gain every year a completely accidental 6-month cut followed by a six-month bulk for 5 years. By the time I was released from Double AA I had hit all my powerlifting aspirations at the 181-weight class. I overhead pressed 200lbs, benched 300, squatted 400, and deadlifted 500. The last three were all in competition. I then turned to Bodybuilding starting at 195 lbs. This was quickly derailed by covid, and I pivoted to a 4:30:39 marathon, but was now skinny fat due to the lack of lifting. It took me 9 months of being a complete hermit away from all family and friends to step onto the bodybuilding stage. The last 12 weeks were absolutely perfect eating and working out with zero binges or missed workouts. The last month of it is some of the most miserable I have ever been, but it was completely worth it. To go from a fatass 320 to a third place worthy 169 is a memory and trophy I will always cherish. My next goal was winning a strongman competition at my favorite gym (Devoted strength and fitness) one week before my competition my mother had a TBI. I still had to hit the 181 weigh in with my mother in the hospital every night wondering if she would survive the next day. I made weight and won the competition thanks to my freakishly strong shoulders. Over the next 6 months I moved home to help take care of my mother and for the first time in 10 years did not work out. I gained nearly 50lbs and was a shadow of my former self. I'm currently training for a half ironman now and have already 10 lbs. back to my goal weight of 195 for my competition.
I wrote all of this not as a self-flex or woe is me, but to show how your journey through weight loss and fitness is an eternal struggle. You will always fall off the horse. I have gained and lost the same 40 lbs. for the past ten years, and I will bet it won't be the last time as well. Even if you have fallen off your diet, suffered a family tragedy, or sustained an injury. Get your mind back to a healthier you and figure out what you need to do to get yourself healthy again. My answer is simply to find the goal I need to cross off my list. I have done it many times so it's easier for me, but I guarantee if you lost weight once the next ten times it is far easier.

I am a student who's about to complete his grade 12th. Like many other students I also had dreams of going to the top Elite colleges in the usa and I worked so damn hard for it. I studied by myself without a tutor or anything and got 1540 in my sat on the first attempt. Even though I'm an international student I gave three aps - physics 1 physics 2 and calculus AB and got a 3, 3, and 4 respectively. Not brilliant marks by any means, but considering that I studied by myself while also studying my regular school courses, I was satisfied. I wrote a book on astrophysics for 8-12 year olds (astrophysics was my intended major). Every day after school I'd come home to work on the book and I'd stay awake at nights sometimes for the same as well. I even wrote two research papers and had an internship at an astronomical observatory that housed my countries biggest astronomical telescope and even got a glowing recommendation from a senior scientist there. I worked hard to maintain my grades and was always near the top of my batch. And all this despite having adhd, which meant that I had to work twice as hard as others to see the same results. I didn't come from an obnoxiously rich family and couldn't afford summer schools or anything like that, and relied on financial aid for college.
And still, even after all this work, I got rejected from all the reach colleges i applied to. Harvard, Princeton, Yale, uchicago, John Hopkins, Stanford- all of them. Right now I'm going to attend penn state.
I'm at an extremely low point of my life. For four years I denied myself any kind of happiness because I told myself that it'd all be worth it in the end. But that's the thing, it wasn't. I failed. After all the hours I put in, I failed. My friends laughed at me when I told them id go to an ivy and I swore that I'd prove them wrong, but I proved them right instead.
I feel hollow, and I feel cheated, cause many of my peers who didn't put in as much work as I did DID get in into ivies.
I don't know if it's even worth trying anymore, because I don't know if anything I ever do will get me results.
I delayed gratification for four years to get it after school ended, but I guess I'm not going to be getting that. I want answers, why me? Why am I getting life's worst trials and tribulations while my peers get so many boundless joys? What did I do? Why am I not entitled to feeling happy and fulfilled?
But no one has these answers, and at this point I'm not sure if I ever will. I have lost my motivation. I've lost that fire under my belly.
I wrote this post just to unburden cause I'm feeling extremely lost and hollow.

Hi everyone,
I'm new here. I was in a pretty good place mentally until the pandemic hit. Having to stay isolated at home really set me back.
This week I've finally decided that enough is enough and I'm going to start doing something on my own at least once a week. I went to see some friends at a café on Wednesday and today I'm going to meet someone else at a different café for coffee.
I'll be taking the train and metro/subway (the latter being the one that stresses me out most because they can get stick for minutes at a time due to having to wait for other ones to pass and I hate being stuck in the dark with lots of people).
I'll post about my experience later today once I get back home. For now I'm just very nervous but I know I'll be okay. I've done it before and I can do it again. If I get a panic attack, I'll survive. It will pass.
Sending you all so much love and strength <3

Hi digital nomads, as i near the end of my education, i'm already researching on where to go as a digital nomad and i thought it would be good to get to know other people that want to go on the same journey and share the same vision. Anyone interesting in starting the journey together? Dm me if interested.