Why do you keep counting it all?
Repeating ever so persistently
All I am made up of is torment
My head is despondent
It'll burst into wilted, fetid Azalea and Nightshade
Do you really want to tear me open?
To see the rotten and broken things inside of my vial?
Then, just look thoroughly to your hearts desire
I'll suffocate under a dreary sky that rains fragile lacerations
Will my body still be useful?
If not, you can dispose of me anyway you wish
Every part of me is just shattered memories
Memories that float, and fall, and break, in lesser fragments
I want to become something more
Something more invariable
Something of use
What am I?

I feel like I’ve hit a pretty low point in my life, I’m working on changing for the better, Im going to keep my personality but better my knowledge and self worth.
Abit of background: I was recently Engaged and was engaged for 5 months, partner then decided it was not worth it anymore. I lost myself in the relationship, I had friends prior that are no longer around I picked partners side in every situation and think I lost part of my family as well. I tried so damn hard in the relationship in every aspect found myself doing 90% of the chores. I thought this would make partner happy, I took partner out and went to fun activities when they were down. The list goes on. My friends and family thought I was being used. However I blindly said that we both share the load. I’m not saying I’m perfect. Part of the problem lies that I didn’t respect myself i made myself look worthless in their eyes. There are aspect where I think I could have done better. I needed work aswell.
What I’ve realised: As a result I’ve learned, life has taught me a valuable lesson, self - care, I’ve realized that I need some work. I need to give myself some worth and understand that I need to stick up some boundaries even if I have a partner. It’s still not easy at times as the wound is still fresh. But I’m working on my socializing as I know that’s been a poor part of my life. I’m learning how to get back into my hobbies and mold myself around the things I enjoy. I’m learning to look after myself better. I’ve always had this great idea of doing whatever it takes even when I can’t stand on my own two feet I’d still put 190% effort because I wanted to make that person feel special. However I didn’t realize that I’d lose myself just to please someone that wasn’t going to stick around. I need to change. I still want to make that person feel special but I don’t want to lose my values again. I want to keep my friends and family around. I want to be fair. I want not to be an important person but important to my friends, family and future partner.
Some self-reflection: At this moment I feel lost but I’ve got hope because I’m putting in the work. I’m reading books on socializing and listening to podcasts. I’m happy and grateful on the things I have in life and my life goals. My hobbies are growing and I’m looking after myself. I really hope that my social life picks up as that would be the only thing that’s got me down. I won’t stop fighting until I get this right. I need this. Time will heal you need to let it work it’s magic!
Also thanks if you’ve made it this far. I’m open to advise or even if your open to a chat it might help my social skills, no pressure though. This was also a good way to get my feeling out as it’s anonymous. This is a therapy session. Haha

Hey you all, ive got a bit of an unusual question for you. Im donating blood plasma every week without exception since nearly a year now, before that i did it more irregular but also quite often for around 2-3 years. I dont want to stop doing that, if possible. Ive started doing bodyweight workouts around 3 months ago again and im training around 5 to 6 times a week for 1-3 hours. Also im going bouldering one time per week (2-3h session). I know that you loose quite a lot of protein with every donation of blood plasma (around 50g, which i try to conpensate through eating even more protein), so i asked our doctor at the blood plasma center if i should be beware of anything specific, if im donating every week while training. But she didnt seem too interested in the question and just said, that should drink enough water and eat enough protein. Its a standardized answer for everyone, so she didnt help me with my concerns too much. My progress is good, i feel like i have enough rest, because im doing specific routines for my different body parts on alternating days. The only problem i have is, that i dont get as much sleep as i want (5-6 hours). Im also trying to look on my macros when eating. But although im really trying hard to live healthy, i see my immunoglobulin value going down consistently. The downcurve seems to stagnate slowly, but its stagnating near a really low level. Yeah, i could just stop doing donations or do less, but i want to avoid that. Thats why i wanted to ask you, if the downfall of my values could be coherent to the training and if i could do something specific to prevent it except for donating less. I was also interested, if the donations could hinder training progression.

I feel that it's so irresponsible and bad to get a newborn to do 6 hours of fasting. The doctors said "life happens" so they're doing this as a test if she's able to keep her sugar.
We're not irresponsible parents who will get our baby hungry for 6 hours!!! Economy getting high interest rate resulting in high cost of living, that is what "life happens" but fasting a child for 6 hours???!
Also, what will happen if she fail the test, are they going to prolong her stay and put another pressure on her? They've been pricking her toes too much already and seeing her cry for not having food for 4 hrs now breaks my heart. Who made this protocol? It's just so inhumane! :(

I believe that Glamrock Bonnie is Cassidy/The Vengeful Spirit. Hear me out before you go on a rampage in the comments. This is all just my theory and I don't think it's canon. Read the whole thing before you go to the comments. There's important stuff at the end.
If it is true that Grandpa Willy infected Glamrock Bonnie first in order to test it, then why did he choose Glamrock Bonnie? We all know that Willy wants Cassidy gone since she's after revenge, so perhaps the reason he chose Glamrock Bonnie is because, somehow, he knew that Cassidy was inside of Glamrock Bonnie. He infected Glamrock Bonnie while the animatronic was out of safe mode, and took control before Cassidy could fight back. He destroyed Glamrock Bonnie and Cassidy's spirit manifested into Cassie, the protagonist of Ruin.
I don't know, maybe it's dumb. If there's any more evidence either for or against this theory, please tell me. What do you guys think? Is it good or bad? Sensible or nonsense? Well made or the stupidest stuff you've ever seen? If you have anything against this theory, please show evidence against it in order to back your side up. We're going to handle this like a well structured debate. Back and forth, evidence for and against. We need to handle this like civil human beings, and be respectful. We should be nice about our claims and back them up with evidence. Let the debate begin.

As above really. I've been driving for 4 months and now it's becoming more automated I am noticing my mind drifting and when that happens it's like I'm blind to the world infront of me. I have been fine so far, seem to stay on the road and nothing bad has happened but I'm nervous. I feel that i unconsciously compensate for my brain by keeping extra distance between me and the car infront but what if one day I'm in imagination land and vear off the road or something? Do you guys experience this?

I just got my hands on 200 grams of mimosa hostilis root bark powder, and I more or less have decided the method that I'll use to extract the DMT from it. However, I wanted to post my method here and see if any people with more experience with this kind of thing see any issues with my method.
1.) Bring a suspension of mimosa hostilis root bark powder in distilled white vinegar and water to a light boil for 30 minutes, and then leave the suspension overnight.
2.) This is where my method starts to diverge from the typical methods. Pass the suspension through a coffee filter to leave behind the solids, then squeeze the filter and wash the solids caught by the coffee filter with vinegar several times in order to extract as much of the water-soluble alkaloid salts as possible. Throw away the coffee filter and the solids.
3.) Reduce the acidic solution by lightly boiling it, just to have less liquid (and more concentrated liquid) to work with. This is optional.
4.) Dissolve a very generous amount of fine table salt into the solution, use some light heat to get everything completely dissolved. This will further ionize the solution, causing any lipids from the bark that were slightly soluble in the original solution to be pushed out of solution entirely.
5.) Add unheated n-heptane to the acidic solution and mix it around to pull out any lipid-soluble impurities from the solution. Since the DMT is in the form of an acetate salt at this step, none of it should end up dissolved in the n-heptane, only the impurities. Discard the n-heptane.
6.) Just to save lye and to prevent the acid-base reaction from producing too much heat, use baking soda to bring the solution to a neutral or somewhat basic pH. Then, add the lye (sodium hydroxide in my case).
7.) Once the solution has cooled to around 50C, do pulls with n-heptane like you would with any other extraction method. During pulls, keep the temperature between 40C and 50C to maximize the DMT's solubility in n-heptane.
8.) This is the part that I'm not too sure about. At this point, I can't imagine how there would be any non-alkaloid impurities dissolved in the n-heptane, so I don't see why I couldn't just let it evaporate and be left with a very clean, pure product. Since I wouldn't be allowing the n-heptane to come anywhere near the mimosa hostilis root bark powder itself, and since I'd be removing any trace lipids or other lipid-soluble impurities in the filtered acidic solution before basifying the solution, I don't see why freeze precipitation would be necessary. This is what I'm most curious about.
Thanks in advance!

First post btw, so basically i been talking to this girl for an entire month, we meet in a dating app, but we were just friends, we played together almost every day, making stupid jokes and all that.
She was the first person that showed me some form of kindness, and i appreciate that, she exchanged with me so many histories, and we had so many things planned to do.
I thought i had my first ever friend, i told her about every single thing about my life, all my fears and dreams, and she understanded them and gave me validation, but right now as I'm writing this she just cut every single connection we had for no apparent reason
I don't know what to do, we used to joke about daddies and mommies, because we were on a dating app, but she got tired of it apparently.
I was unaware of it and now i can only feel remorse, for everything i did, i though it was a joke, but she's wasn't fine with it.
If i only was normal, this wouldn't have happened, why I'm not normal, can get things anything right and i just ruin every single connection i have.
I just deserve every bad that happens to me, probably this will never happen again.

he kicked some random person’s mouth plate for no reason other than « i could, it’s not my money so why do i care? »
this is not the man i fell in love with. we’ve been fighting more often recently and i feel like we’re falling apart. i don’t understand why he did this and he’s asking me why i’m so upset. i’m upset bc he didn’t have to do that. he didn’t have to touch it. but he chose to for no reason other than to be mean. i don’t understand dude can someone explain

This is a bit long bear with me please.
Ok so I'll give you a lil context before I start. My family is spiritual. What's left of it at least. My mom, grandma, and things like that. Now it's just my mom, brothers and I. Ok so recently Ive felt like I'm losing pieces of my mind,sanity and soul. My body randomly shakes and twitches against my will and I can't stop it. I almost injured my teeth grinding them trying to control myself. It feels like there's an entity in the middle of my back draining me of my life energy and emotions. And my mood swings have been random and unpredictable even I don't know why I lash out the way I do sometimes. And I don't know if I'm imagining it or I'm just exaggerating but lately my energy and has been in the dumps. Recently Ive been waking up more exhausted than when I go to sleep. And when I go to sleep its all black until I wake up. My mom and brother told that I've sleep taked before many times even to the point where they told me I was talking and then started cursing while I was sleep. I don't remember doing any of that. And the part that really unsettles me is I can't feel anything when I'm sleep. I told my brother to try and wake me up when I'm sleep and he tried and told me he shook my whole body. I've always been a light sleeper. The slightest touch normally would wake me up. I don't know what's going on with me and it doesn't feel regular if any one can help it would be greatly appreciated.

As a car owner, it is essential to stay on top of your vehicle's maintenance to ensure that it meets the required safety standards for driving on public roads. One crucial aspect of vehicle maintenance is the MOT (Ministry of Transport) test.
The MOT test is an annual test that all vehicles over three years old must undergo to ensure that they meet the minimum safety and environmental standards. To get a car MOT check, you can use our free and instant MOT checker tool available online.
You can check car MOT history as well, to see when the last test was done, the results, and the expiry date of the current certificate. If you're wondering ‘is my car MOT due?’, you can find out by entering your vehicle registration number online.
Use our online MOT check to check car tax and MOT. You can also check the expiry date of your car's current MOT certificate to see when you need to renew it.
It is important to note that driving your car without a valid MOT certificate is illegal and can result in significant fines and penalty points on your driving license. Check MOT, and even get your MOT history at Service My Car.
In addition to the MOT test, you should also check your car tax status to ensure that you are driving legally. You can use our online MOT checker to not just get details about your MOT, but also to check car tax and book your MOT online by entering your vehicle registration number.
If you are caught driving without valid tax or MOT, you can face hefty fines and penalty points on your driving license. Still left wondering, ‘when is my car MOT due?’ Check and book your MOT using our online MOT check feature.
If your car fails its MOT test, you will receive a list of the items that need to be repaired or replaced to meet the required standards. Don’t stay wondering ‘when does my car need an MOT’ when you can check and book your MOT with us in a matter of seconds. You will have a limited time frame to complete the necessary repairs and retest your car.
If you fail to complete the repairs and retest your car within the given time frame, you will need to book a new MOT test, and you will not be able to drive your car legally until it passes the test. It is essential to take care of your car's maintenance to prevent it from failing the MOT test.

when does a new car need an MOT

Even new cars have to carry out the MOT service. If you have a new car and you’re wondering ‘when does a new car need an MOT’ - the government advises you to get an MOT done within the first 3 years of its registration.
Moreover, regular servicing can help identify potential issues early and address them before they become more significant problems. You can also check your car's MOT history online to see if there are any recurring issues that need to be addressed.
A lot of people wonder - ‘if car fails MOT how long do I have to fix it?’ The government has stated that you have 10 working days to get your car fixed. If you’ve booked an MOT and your car has unfortunately failed, it’s no matter to fret about. Just book a service or repair with us, and we’ll ensure your car is roadworthy in no time.
In conclusion, the MOT test is an essential part of vehicle maintenance that all car owners must take seriously. To check your car's MOT status, you can use the online MOT checker tool or enter your vehicle registration number online.
It is also important to check your car tax status to ensure that you are driving legally. If your car fails its MOT test, you will need to complete the necessary repairs and retest your car within the given time frame.
Regular servicing and maintenance can help prevent your car from failing the MOT test and keep it in good working order. Whether you require a service, a repair, or just your MOT done - look no further than Service My Car. Book online or download the Service My Car app today.

My cat (4y/o tortise shell caluco) has an OBSESSION with picking when she thinks it's time to eat, around 3:30 every morning. She picks at the box spring under my bed and has torn a hole in it. She picks under the couch and has torn a hole. She picks at the carpet and has messed it up to the point of having to get new carpet (this was at my old house. I've recently moved and she CANNOT continue this behavior because I am renting now). She does it in a way that is extremely destructive and loud.
I have tried everything, I've fed her later in the day, I give her more treats during the day so she isn't as hungry, I've tried getting her to play more so she is more tired during the night (this doesn't work as well because if she doesn't want to play she won't play). She is currently IN the box spring as I'm writing this. I've straight up ignored her, but she keeps picking and picking and gets more aggressive if I ignore her. I've tried putting her in the bathroom but then she cries (I'm afraid she will wake my roommate up) or she severely picks at the underside of the door. I've tried holding her myself to get her to stop but she fights back to the point where I am bleeding and she is hissing and growling at me, and when I let her go she goes straight back to picking.
I have no idea what to do. I am losing sleep every night. It's obsessive. She knows it's wrong and drives me insane and that's exactly what she wants. I have not fed her when she does this, I still only feed her at the EARLIEST when the sun comes up. I know she probably does this because I give her a reaction but if I ignore her she will destroy my furniture and I will never be able to sleep. I have no intentions if getting rid of this cat, but I have no other ideas for what to do. Please someone help me!!!!!!!

This sub has been an incredible source of information and inspiration, so I gave myself an hour to write down and share some insights from the recent three-week road trip I’ve had with my partner.
General remarks:
- Our main goal was to enjoy nature, so we were okay with spending absolutely no time on the golden circle or in Reykjavik. Due to the weather, we ended up doing both anyway; but these would be the parts of the trip I would skip first. Coming from continental Europe, we had almost no jetlag and could safely start directly with our journey. With more jet lag, some more time to adapt is definitely a good idea.
- We rented a 2WD campervan from Star Car Rental and spent all but the final night on campsites. Our experience with Star Car was very good. The price was competitive and included unlimited mileage, additional driver and all necessary utensils (chairs, table, cooking stuff). We got picked up from the airport and were ready to go within 15’. When giving back the car, we got driven to our hotel without any inspection (we did have zero excess insurance).
- Mid-May to beginning of June was a very nice time to travel. The days are long (I’ve seen no darkness), almost all camping places are open, but the crowds at the highlights are small – except for the big boys in the south.
- We started our days quite early and therefore typically arrived during the afternoon at the campsites. The kitchen area, showers and laundry spaces were often free to use. Be prepared to go to campsites that have only 2 stoves and 1 shower. During prime time, expect some waiting times.
- We picked up around 100 € worth of cash – two campsites were cash-only, everything else was absolutely card-first / cash-free.
Useful ressources:
- Vedur and Safetravel: This sub is absolutely right. Learn how to read and anticipate the weather before you get there. We were there during two yellow warnings and these things are really no joke. It helps to have plenty of time to spontaneously adapt the schedule. And we’ve seen it all: blizzard in the West, hail up North, storm in the East and sun in the South.
- Google reviews & park4night: These were pretty accurate for the campsites. 4+ stars are no-brainers, 3+ depend on your needs (kitchen, shower, electricity) and less than 3 should be avoided. Also, remember to rate them yourself during/after your trip to increase the statistical significance ;)
- Google Maps/MyMaps: MyMaps was useful during our planning to fill with random highlights (waterfalls, hotpots, hikes, campsites) and to set up a rough itinerary. Google Maps is accurate on paved roads. On gravel roads, expect some significant delays. Maps calculates with 80 km/h, while you will probably never exceed 50 km/h. In the Westfjords, we guess-timated our times with 2 minutes per kilometer on the gravel roads. The Happy Campers Campsite Map as well as the Hot Pot Iceland Map were nice to have in the back-pocket to check with some time to spare whether something is close by.
- Polarsteps: This was a cute little App, which we used to keep family and friends informed. You can add pictures and some text to your highlights. This way, you don’t send the same picture into various chats and there is a location- and time-dependent context.
Cost: This is the per-person cost breakdown for our 21-day trip (20-day camper rental, 1 hotel stay, total 3’500€).
- Rental (zero excess insurance, additional driver): 1’135 €
- Flight (from continental Europe): 700 €
- Activities (Pools, Spas, Horse-riding, Kayak): 300 €
- Camping (pretty consistent 2’000 +- 500 ISK p.P.): 275 €
- Groceries (Bonus, Kronan, Netto): 255 €
- Coffee, Beers, Food in Restaurants: 260 €
- Petrol (420 € in total for roughly 3’600 km): 210 €
- Souvenirs: 180 €
- Ferries (into Westfjords and to Westman Islands): 95 €
- Hotel: 75 €
Highlights:
- Sundlaug and Spas: When camping in small towns, very often there will be a swimming pool close by. They are not expensive (around 1000 ISK pP) and a great way to relax after a long day. Also, it feels nice to take longer, hot showers without knowing people are waiting in line. We decided to go for some smaller premium spas and were very happy with all of them: Krauma was one of our first stops, the Forest Lagoon was incredible during evening hours and GeoSea was also fantastic. Re: nudity. It takes a bit to get used to, but its very refreshing to see this very open approach to nudity in the pools. No one cares, no one watches – just do your thing. It’s cool to see groups of friends at all age groups be so open about it. Certainly very different compared to continental Europe.
- As we had to skip the Eastfjords a bit due to storm, we had some time left at the end. We spent the last 3 nights on the Westman Islands. It was great to leave the car for a longer while and do everything by foot. There are plenty of things to do and the swimming pool is fantastic.
- Mulagljufur: Use Google Maps to find the exact location, as of now, there is no sign along the road. The canyon is very beautiful and we ended up hiking for almost three hours. Couldn’t get enough of the views.
- Glymur: The infamous log wasn’t placed when we were there, but the short hike to the cave and towards the canyon was absolutely worth it.
- Camping highlights: Melanes campsite at Raudasandur beach (Westfjords): incredible scenery, wild drive to get there; Thingeyri campsite (Westfjords): directly at the fjord, fantastic infrastructure (probably the best kitchen we’ve had) and IMHO a great alternative to the Tungudalur campsite in Isafjordur; 66.12 N campsite (near Husavik): insane ocean view, good infrastructure, one of the best sites along the diamond circle; Glamping&Camping (Westmann Islands): beautiful setting, good infrastructure.
Itinerary (Highlights: *, ** or ***)
Day 1: Arrival at KEF during the afternoon in pouring rain, set up campervan, first grocery stops at Bonus and Kronan, Dinner at Issi’s Fish&Chips*, Camp at Hjalli Kjos
Day 2: Glymur hike** (up to river, no log), Krauma Spa**, scenic drive into Snaefellsnes, Camp at Freezer Hostel
Day 3: Check out Snaefellsnes highlights, get to Stykkisholmur in the afternoon, Ferry Baldur to Brjanslaekur, Hellulaug hotpot*, drive to Melanes campsite*** on Raudasandur beach
Day 4: full day at Raudasandur, great hikes, another night at Melanes campsite.
Day 5: Long drive through westfjords. Highlights included the self-service fish station in Talknafjordur (amazing fisk bollur**), Dynjandi waterfall and Sandfell hike. Camping at Thingeyri*, relax in local swimming pool
Day 6: drive to Isafjordur, check out city (kind of underwhelming, but it was a national holiday; the brewery is nice), do some small hikes in the area. Camp at Tungudalur.
Day 7: very long drive out of westfjords towards Varmahlid. Hot dog stop in Holmavik and arrive at Lambeyri campsite (cash only)
Day 8: woke up with dead battery, but got jump start by campsite owner. Horseriding tour at Lytingsstadir* was very nice, drive to Akureyri, visit Forest Lagoon**. It was Saturday night when we visited, upon leaving we had police checking every driver for alcohol – so better hold off the pool-side bar ;) wanted to camp at Vaglaskogur but campsite wasn’t open. Went up until the CJA campsite in Laugar with a late-night stop at Godafoss (around 10pm, were the only people there)
Day 9: check out Myvatn area: Dimmuborgir hike, Hverir, Leirhnjukur hike**. Then continue to Dettifoss and camp at Asbyrgi. Late night hike to Asbyrgi ‘island’*.
Day 10: Hike in Asbyrgi canyon, continue to Husavik, visit GeoSea**, camp at 66.12N***
Day 11: long drive with very strong winds. We had to go back to Akureyri (optician to fix broken glasses), so went through Myvatn again with a quick stop at Grjotagja. Beautiful drive, weather was too bad for Studlagil canyon, so we continued all the way to Borgarfjordur eystri. Crazy winds during the night and we were happy that our car didn’t get blown away.
Day 12: unfortunately, no hikes in this beautiful area. Waited for storm to pass until lunchtime, visited harbor with puffins**, drive to Egilsstadir (hot dog stop), continue to Seydisfjordur (kind of underwhelming town, the drive is gorgeous though) and, due to weather forecast, continue all the way to Djupivogur campsite.
Day 13: Incredible drive from Djupivogur to Höfn, stops at Hvalnes and Jökulsarlon. Hike at Mulagljufur***, camp at Svenifell.
Day 14: early-morning hike in Skaftafell**, continue to Kirjubaersklausur for campsite. Had to skip Fjardrargljufur due to weather, visited local swimming pool.
Day 15: yellow warning again. Continued to Vik for Skool Beans Coffee*, quick stop at Reynisfjara beach (red alert was on, so we didn’t go further than the sign), continue to Skogarfoss and hike part of Fimmvorduhals*, camp in Selfoss – swimming pool was closed unfortunately.
Day 16: Weather forecast was very bad, so we spent the day in Reykjavik. Walked around town, grabbed some coffees and visiting the local Sundhöll*. Camp at Mosskogar** (cash-only)
Day 17: Golden circle: hike at Thingvellir, look at Geysir, skipped Delfoss. Camp in Selfoss again.
Day 18: quick stop at Seljalandsfoss, ferry to Westman islands. Set up camp at Glamping&Camping** for the next 3 nights. Visited Brothers Brewery*.
Day 19: Kayak tour with Kayak-and-Puffins-company***. Visited local swimming pool* (trampoline slide was very nice) and watched a local handball game.
Day 20: Hike along volcanoes and coast**, visit brewery again, go to puffin bay**
Day 21: Ferry back to mainland. Drive back towards KEF. Drop-off campervan and spent night in Konvin Hotel. Early morning shuttle to airport (we arrived about 2h early for our 7 am flight and had plenty of time).
Of course, I’m very happy to answer any questions you might have!
Hope this is helpful to some of you :)

I am a 23F and starting to become a bit interested in photography. I have tried using my boyfriend’s old Canon 600D. But its monitor is kind of broken and the lens are a bit mouldy. So I want to get one of my own.
I mainly want to take photos of cats and dogs (my own dog, street cats, cat cafe etc.) for my own pleasure, not for business. I had looked at them at the showroom and I really like the feel of handling R10 (I feel like it’s lighter than R50? Although it’s not?) But my boyfriend keeps saying R50 is a better deal. So it makes me struggle. My concern is that if I want to go more in-depth in the future, R50 may not be enough for me. But at the same time their functions are kind of the same, so do I really need R10? Or will R50 be enough?
These two models are also around my budget so I am considering these two. Any advice?

it’s like she’s still dressing me the way she used to when i was a toddler. If i’m shopping and she chooses something for me to buy and i don’t like it she’ll start getting really angry and condescending and insulting.
If i dislike clothes she shows me she’ll say stuff like: - “you always dress like a hobo” - “your style is trashy “ - “why do you never dress like other girls your age? they all look much more put together than you.” (btw, i wear basic clothes. and in fact she’ll like a similar item of clothing when someone else is wearing it and not on me) - “are you saying no just to spite me?”
It’s worse when i have an event or something special to go to. She’s now choosing bridesmaid dresses for me (even though i didn’t ask for her to help) to wear to my friends wedding, and i really don’t like her choices. But i can’t just say i don’t like them, or she’ll get personally offended and start talking down on me as if i cussed her out and not the dress. Instead i have to say stuff like “oh it’s nice but too fancy/not fancy enough” or “looks good but won’t fit my body type” or stuff like that. and even then she’ll get defensive.
It’s frustrating. does anyone else’s parent act this way?

TRIGGER WARNING FOR SA
my mother and i lived alone although i have many other siblings all step or half siblings except my youngest sister (14F) who is 100% biologically related to me. i despise the rest of my family apart from my mother or sister because when i was younger i was rped by my brother and mlested by my father and only my mother believed me.
my mother was the kindest woman you could know, of course she had her issues but who didn't. she had drinking problems, i always begged her to stop but it never worked. my younger sister pleaded with her as well but it never helped.
my entire life i had never gone more than 2 days without talking to my mother, we were as close as you can be to one another. the week prior to her passing her drinking was exceptionally bad and she had a fall during the week and i wanted to maybe speak to my school and see if they could help me get her help, the entire staff dismissed me. throughout the week i was being super bitchy and blunt to my mum because i was sick of her drinking, she was so bad i started taking photos and recording all our conversations. i even tried calling helplines for her but nobody wanted to speak to me. saturday night i had a party to go to and i was having a friend come back to my house after the party to stay the night but before i left for the party my mums room which she hasn't left most of the week reeked and she wasn't eating any of the food i was giving her even after se complained her blood sugar was dropping and her blood pressure was rising, doctors described her as a ticking time bomb because her medical issues were so bad. but that night i still felt like going to a party. at the party i started feeling extremly sick although i hadn't drank or anything i was looking at myself and i was going green and i couldn't help but just lay backwards on a bed trying to keep my eyes open. i started saying something was wrong and i tried calling and texting my mum for an uber home because i wanted to leave but she wasn't replying, when i eventually got an uber home i didn't greet my mum like i usually would when i arrive home from an event i just went straight to bed with my friend. and in the morning i went to say good morning to my mother and just saw her laying on the floor with blood streaming from her nose i went to go her cpr But i couldn't work up the courage to touch her so i screamed for my friend to call the ambulance and i ran outside throwing up and calling my other best friends be i know i couldn't do this alone. i had to see my brother who raped me as he was the only family i had in the state which just made it all so much worse for me and as i'm only 17 my brother was made senior next of kin and he was making all the decisions on everything.
mums memorial was this past saturday and today is one month since i found her, i have never gone over two days without speaking to her and it's been a month. i don't know how i'm gonna do this it's so scary for me and i need her so badly i miss her with my whole heart i act like i'm okay but i can't do it the dark scared me running water scares me simple noises scare me the wound of abulace scares me i am so scared i've never imagined life without her i always told her we would live together when we're both old now i'm 17 and i've moved in with a friend but i have so much love around me but nothing is the same as it was before.
i don't know what to do without her all i see when i close my eyes is her dead body just laying there and i try leaving her alone that night so badly.

So currently I’m on a bulk. I’m about 5’8-5’9, 135 pounds. Aiming to bulk up to 180 or higher not too sure yet which is why I’m here. For those of you ex scrawny hoopers or just you guys that know about working out, what would you guys say is a good weight to bulk to and what would u also say is a good weight to cut down to that would keep me lean and still able to move around quick enough while playing. I’m only trying to put on weight because I’m just too light but don’t want to lose my athleticism and speed. And I know I obviously won’t move as well as I did when I was lighter but I’ve seen plenty of people my size about 30 pounds heavier moving the same if not better so I think it’s doable.

I need help !!! I’ve been in my current FSP CTA role for 8 months now and I love the sponsor I work for. My CRO is ok but I really don’t have much to do with them day to day they just pay my paycheck and benefits.
I was approached for some roles on LinkedIn and figured why not see what they’re about. One sponsor is highly interested in recruiting me as a CTA for them directly. The pay is like 45% more than I am currently making. It is hybrid though and 45 minutes away from my house. I’m currently fully remote. I’ve always wanted to work for a sponsor directly rather than a CRO. This would be a great opportunity for me I just don’t know if I’m ready to leave my current role yet. I’m nervous about the commute, whether I will like the team as much as my current and most of all I am nervous to regret the move. I’ve worked in very toxic work environments before, and it’s nice to finally be ok where I’m at. I would feel insane turning down a 45% raise though… I’d also owe my CRO a sign on bonus back if I leave.
Anyone been in a similar situation??

I'm all alone in this life. I'm starving and drinking myself to death and it became a lot worse after the end of March when my dog passed away in my lap.
I'm worthless. In my life I keep being discarded by people so easily, like I'm worth nothing, not even the smallest amount on empathy.
I fucking try my hardest to be best I can to people, I never hurt anyone on purpose, I only hurt myself. By starving and drinking. and when I do, it's all by myself so that I leave no mess to anybody, nobody even sees me drunk Why? Why am I so worthless to people

I asked chatgpt and learned that exercise helps body release endorphins, serotonin and dopamine which makes you feel good and these chemicals are also released during video gaming. Then why people have motivation to play video games rather than exercise? These are the same chemicals that make you feel good while eating a chocolate or Pani Puri.
I have my personal theory. I think people mostly ignore the mental benifits that they get and only look at physical. When they compare themselves with body builders and models and don't get the same body they get demotivated. Do you think my logic makes sense?
Do you think that telling people to exercise to feel mentally happier than getting a good body is more motivating than a good body of some celebrity? Or do you think that not everyone will be mentally happier with exercise and everyone won't release these chemicals?