At approximately 1:30 AM I witnessed a woman in thigh high vinyl boots casually defecating on the Redbox kiosk in front of the circle k at Fry and Carmichael. I was informed by the attendant it was common, and payback for closing their restroom to the public at midnight. Welcome to the family friendly art district, and cultural center of Sierra Vista.

This sub has been an incredible source of information and inspiration, so I gave myself an hour to write down and share some insights from the recent three-week road trip I’ve had with my partner.
General remarks:
- Our main goal was to enjoy nature, so we were okay with spending absolutely no time on the golden circle or in Reykjavik. Due to the weather, we ended up doing both anyway; but these would be the parts of the trip I would skip first. Coming from continental Europe, we had almost no jetlag and could safely start directly with our journey. With more jet lag, some more time to adapt is definitely a good idea.
- We rented a 2WD campervan from Star Car Rental and spent all but the final night on campsites. Our experience with Star Car was very good. The price was competitive and included unlimited mileage, additional driver and all necessary utensils (chairs, table, cooking stuff). We got picked up from the airport and were ready to go within 15’. When giving back the car, we got driven to our hotel without any inspection (we did have zero excess insurance).
- Mid-May to beginning of June was a very nice time to travel. The days are long (I’ve seen no darkness), almost all camping places are open, but the crowds at the highlights are small – except for the big boys in the south.
- We started our days quite early and therefore typically arrived during the afternoon at the campsites. The kitchen area, showers and laundry spaces were often free to use. Be prepared to go to campsites that have only 2 stoves and 1 shower. During prime time, expect some waiting times.
- We picked up around 100 € worth of cash – two campsites were cash-only, everything else was absolutely card-first / cash-free.
Useful ressources:
- Vedur and Safetravel: This sub is absolutely right. Learn how to read and anticipate the weather before you get there. We were there during two yellow warnings and these things are really no joke. It helps to have plenty of time to spontaneously adapt the schedule. And we’ve seen it all: blizzard in the West, hail up North, storm in the East and sun in the South.
- Google reviews & park4night: These were pretty accurate for the campsites. 4+ stars are no-brainers, 3+ depend on your needs (kitchen, shower, electricity) and less than 3 should be avoided. Also, remember to rate them yourself during/after your trip to increase the statistical significance ;)
- Google Maps/MyMaps: MyMaps was useful during our planning to fill with random highlights (waterfalls, hotpots, hikes, campsites) and to set up a rough itinerary. Google Maps is accurate on paved roads. On gravel roads, expect some significant delays. Maps calculates with 80 km/h, while you will probably never exceed 50 km/h. In the Westfjords, we guess-timated our times with 2 minutes per kilometer on the gravel roads. The Happy Campers Campsite Map as well as the Hot Pot Iceland Map were nice to have in the back-pocket to check with some time to spare whether something is close by.
- Polarsteps: This was a cute little App, which we used to keep family and friends informed. You can add pictures and some text to your highlights. This way, you don’t send the same picture into various chats and there is a location- and time-dependent context.
Cost: This is the per-person cost breakdown for our 21-day trip (20-day camper rental, 1 hotel stay, total 3’500€).
- Rental (zero excess insurance, additional driver): 1’135 €
- Flight (from continental Europe): 700 €
- Activities (Pools, Spas, Horse-riding, Kayak): 300 €
- Camping (pretty consistent 2’000 +- 500 ISK p.P.): 275 €
- Groceries (Bonus, Kronan, Netto): 255 €
- Coffee, Beers, Food in Restaurants: 260 €
- Petrol (420 € in total for roughly 3’600 km): 210 €
- Souvenirs: 180 €
- Ferries (into Westfjords and to Westman Islands): 95 €
- Hotel: 75 €
Highlights:
- Sundlaug and Spas: When camping in small towns, very often there will be a swimming pool close by. They are not expensive (around 1000 ISK pP) and a great way to relax after a long day. Also, it feels nice to take longer, hot showers without knowing people are waiting in line. We decided to go for some smaller premium spas and were very happy with all of them: Krauma was one of our first stops, the Forest Lagoon was incredible during evening hours and GeoSea was also fantastic. Re: nudity. It takes a bit to get used to, but its very refreshing to see this very open approach to nudity in the pools. No one cares, no one watches – just do your thing. It’s cool to see groups of friends at all age groups be so open about it. Certainly very different compared to continental Europe.
- As we had to skip the Eastfjords a bit due to storm, we had some time left at the end. We spent the last 3 nights on the Westman Islands. It was great to leave the car for a longer while and do everything by foot. There are plenty of things to do and the swimming pool is fantastic.
- Mulagljufur: Use Google Maps to find the exact location, as of now, there is no sign along the road. The canyon is very beautiful and we ended up hiking for almost three hours. Couldn’t get enough of the views.
- Glymur: The infamous log wasn’t placed when we were there, but the short hike to the cave and towards the canyon was absolutely worth it.
- Camping highlights: Melanes campsite at Raudasandur beach (Westfjords): incredible scenery, wild drive to get there; Thingeyri campsite (Westfjords): directly at the fjord, fantastic infrastructure (probably the best kitchen we’ve had) and IMHO a great alternative to the Tungudalur campsite in Isafjordur; 66.12 N campsite (near Husavik): insane ocean view, good infrastructure, one of the best sites along the diamond circle; Glamping&Camping (Westmann Islands): beautiful setting, good infrastructure.
Itinerary (Highlights: *, ** or ***)
Day 1: Arrival at KEF during the afternoon in pouring rain, set up campervan, first grocery stops at Bonus and Kronan, Dinner at Issi’s Fish&Chips*, Camp at Hjalli Kjos
Day 2: Glymur hike** (up to river, no log), Krauma Spa**, scenic drive into Snaefellsnes, Camp at Freezer Hostel
Day 3: Check out Snaefellsnes highlights, get to Stykkisholmur in the afternoon, Ferry Baldur to Brjanslaekur, Hellulaug hotpot*, drive to Melanes campsite*** on Raudasandur beach
Day 4: full day at Raudasandur, great hikes, another night at Melanes campsite.
Day 5: Long drive through westfjords. Highlights included the self-service fish station in Talknafjordur (amazing fisk bollur**), Dynjandi waterfall and Sandfell hike. Camping at Thingeyri*, relax in local swimming pool
Day 6: drive to Isafjordur, check out city (kind of underwhelming, but it was a national holiday; the brewery is nice), do some small hikes in the area. Camp at Tungudalur.
Day 7: very long drive out of westfjords towards Varmahlid. Hot dog stop in Holmavik and arrive at Lambeyri campsite (cash only)
Day 8: woke up with dead battery, but got jump start by campsite owner. Horseriding tour at Lytingsstadir* was very nice, drive to Akureyri, visit Forest Lagoon**. It was Saturday night when we visited, upon leaving we had police checking every driver for alcohol – so better hold off the pool-side bar ;) wanted to camp at Vaglaskogur but campsite wasn’t open. Went up until the CJA campsite in Laugar with a late-night stop at Godafoss (around 10pm, were the only people there)
Day 9: check out Myvatn area: Dimmuborgir hike, Hverir, Leirhnjukur hike**. Then continue to Dettifoss and camp at Asbyrgi. Late night hike to Asbyrgi ‘island’*.
Day 10: Hike in Asbyrgi canyon, continue to Husavik, visit GeoSea**, camp at 66.12N***
Day 11: long drive with very strong winds. We had to go back to Akureyri (optician to fix broken glasses), so went through Myvatn again with a quick stop at Grjotagja. Beautiful drive, weather was too bad for Studlagil canyon, so we continued all the way to Borgarfjordur eystri. Crazy winds during the night and we were happy that our car didn’t get blown away.
Day 12: unfortunately, no hikes in this beautiful area. Waited for storm to pass until lunchtime, visited harbor with puffins**, drive to Egilsstadir (hot dog stop), continue to Seydisfjordur (kind of underwhelming town, the drive is gorgeous though) and, due to weather forecast, continue all the way to Djupivogur campsite.
Day 13: Incredible drive from Djupivogur to Höfn, stops at Hvalnes and Jökulsarlon. Hike at Mulagljufur***, camp at Svenifell.
Day 14: early-morning hike in Skaftafell**, continue to Kirjubaersklausur for campsite. Had to skip Fjardrargljufur due to weather, visited local swimming pool.
Day 15: yellow warning again. Continued to Vik for Skool Beans Coffee*, quick stop at Reynisfjara beach (red alert was on, so we didn’t go further than the sign), continue to Skogarfoss and hike part of Fimmvorduhals*, camp in Selfoss – swimming pool was closed unfortunately.
Day 16: Weather forecast was very bad, so we spent the day in Reykjavik. Walked around town, grabbed some coffees and visiting the local Sundhöll*. Camp at Mosskogar** (cash-only)
Day 17: Golden circle: hike at Thingvellir, look at Geysir, skipped Delfoss. Camp in Selfoss again.
Day 18: quick stop at Seljalandsfoss, ferry to Westman islands. Set up camp at Glamping&Camping** for the next 3 nights. Visited Brothers Brewery*.
Day 19: Kayak tour with Kayak-and-Puffins-company***. Visited local swimming pool* (trampoline slide was very nice) and watched a local handball game.
Day 20: Hike along volcanoes and coast**, visit brewery again, go to puffin bay**
Day 21: Ferry back to mainland. Drive back towards KEF. Drop-off campervan and spent night in Konvin Hotel. Early morning shuttle to airport (we arrived about 2h early for our 7 am flight and had plenty of time).
Of course, I’m very happy to answer any questions you might have!
Hope this is helpful to some of you :)

See the previous posts: https://www.reddit.com/JurassicPark/comments/1419mpy/jurassic_world_the_hegemony_of_biosyn_dominion/ https://www.reddit.com/JurassicPark/comments/142b35e/jurassic_world_the_hegemony_of_biosyn_jwd_rewrite/

Act III - The Gathering of the Clouds

Mia Everett
Visually confirming Rainn's revelation, Victoria is shown in a cage inside Amelia Everett's lab, within Biosyn's Citadel. Mia does her best to comfort the scared and depressed Achillobator and her motivations are explored shortly after. It's revealed that due to her experience within the team who made the Indominus and the Indoraptor, Biosyn tasked her with reviving InGen's IBRIS program by breeding raptors with high obedience potential. However, none of the achillobators cloned by Biosyn proved to be trainable enough for the program's ambitions (even though they attempted to mimic Owen's experience by having keepers being there at the animals' birth), which displeased Dodgson and the other higher-ups, who are now favouring another research team, who focuses on a more intrusive way of controlling dinosaurs. Basically treated as a second-class researcher amidst a rather toxic work environment, Mia became desperate enough to hire poachers to capture Blue, which she intended to breed with their achillobators in order to finally have trainable individuals. As Victoria is not sexually mature, Mia is in front of a considerable setback and fears that Dodgson will pull the plug due to her lack of results, especially in this troubled period for Biosyn.
The tying noose
The next day, the intel collected by the UN agents (people involved in the Black Market, Biosyn's connections with it) are sent to the nearby countries, including Italy, where an arrest warrant is launched against Kayla.
On his side, Isaac Gibbon is contacted by Bigelow who tells him about the debacle of their mission in Malta, saying that Claire and Owen saved the grey guards from disaster. He orders her to stay in Italy for the moment and wait for new orders. Shortly receives, he receives a candidate for a desk job in the DSD: It's Franklin. Gibbon tells Franklin he heard about his bravery during the 2019 incidents and his past connection with InGen (Before the DPG, Franklin worked for it as an IT Technician), before asking questions about Claire as he is aware that she collaborated with him not only on some occasions in the past few years but also in the 2019 Costa Rican incident, where Franklin was the couple's companion while they were running from InGen's agents and the authorities.
Dubrovnik
The inhabitants and tourists of the Croatian seaside city of Dubrovnik are surprised when a Biosyn Quetzalcoatlus descends upon the old town and starts attacking people. As a joke similar to one in TLW with the Japanese businessman and his reference to Godzilla, some extra could yell in Valyrian "I left Westeros because of this!" or "By the Seven, not again!" (Dubrovnik was one of Game of Thrones' filming location).
Ramsay's email
In a manner similar to the Hawaii attack scene in Gareth Edwards' Godzilla, the Dubrovnik scene cuts just as the Quetzal swoops on the bystanders and we are now in the bar of Biosyn's employee village. Wu is watching the news of the Dubrovnik attack on the TV (there is even a declaration from Zoe Murdoch, in which she denies the pterosaur came from Auronzo's Sanctuary and was probably created by a rival company who somehow put their hands upon Biosyn Quetzalcoatlus DNA. In the bar, someone whisper that one of their Quetzals did escaped from the valley thanks to the temporary deactivation of the invisible fence system and that Dodgson has launched an investigation to know who's responsible) when he receives a mysterious email from Ramsay, which includes the name of some woman. Wu search it on the internet and ends up on IMDB where he discovers that the adult "Charlotte" on the videos is actually an actress who lives in London.
Arrest
In Rome, early in the morning, Kayla is arrested in her flat by the police as she is accused of illegal smuggling.
Viscontini
Following all the incidents in the Alps, the clash in the Sabine Hills and the recent Dubrovnik attack, people gets pissed at Biosyn and protests occur in several locations, including Rome. In the Italian Ministry of the Interior, Viscontini has an argument with Pazzi, declaring that they need to take severe actions against Biosyn but the minister retorts that taking large-scale actions against the corporation might trigger a whole deal of undesirable consequences, including deteriorating US-Italian relations due to the close ties between Biosyn and the US government. He won't risk that just because of some rumours, weak proof and small incidents. Viscontini retorts that soon, Biosyn might have an angry mob showing at its gates with the goal of driving it out of Italy.
Following Vuillier's instructions, Claire, Owen, Nyamu and Dougal leave Malta the same day and fly to the Eternal City, where they have to meet Viscontini in the AISI headquarters. There, they have a video call with Vuillier. He and Viscontini wants to send the trio of WDMC agents to Auronzo Valley so they can infiltrate Biosyn's facility, find compromising information and transmit them to the Italian authorities, hoping to finally convince Pazzi and the rest of the government to take action against Biosyn. However, one of the agents points out that they will need an entrance ticket as one doesn't simply walk into Auronzo, since the borders of Biosyn's lands are guarded and monitored while some people disappeared after going too close from the Sanctuary (anti-Biosyn activists, reckless adventurers, Grendel Corporation's spies, others from the AISI's and Austrian government). Viscontini declare they might have that ticket.
We cut to Kayla in her prison cell. The guard announces she has visit and she is brought to a room where Viscontini and Dougal waits for her. The head of the AISI and the WDMC agent then negotiate with her: In exchange for her freedom, she will bring Dougal, Claire and Owen to Biosyn's Sanctuary. However, Viscontini precise he'll have her hunted down if she ever betrays them.
Kayla raises the fact that she can't show up at Auronzo like this and needs a motive. Viscontini and Dougal then talk about the animals seized in Malta's black market.
Theo's Mission
That day, Wu summons Theo, explain the whole issue with the fake Charlotte and ask him to go to London, find the actress and question her about the videos so they can have proofs to show Maisie, who started to really become insufferable because of Dodgson's bad influence (in that part of the story, one of the few scenes where she's likeable is one where she and Drummond bonds over the common passion for dinosaurs). The ex-mercenary soon leaves Auronzo, taking a bus for Venice in the nearest village while Wu explains to Pellegrino and Dodgson that Theo had urgent family matters to deal with in the UK.
Leaving San Francisco
Desiring to supervise the Dolomites Crisis more closely, Vuillier fly to Italy.
Nine containers
As evidence of Biosyn's possible connections to the Maltese black market has been discussed on the news, Dodgson knows it's a matter of time before Vuillier, the Italians or the Austrians send people in Auronzo and expose Biosyn's misdeeds.
We then follow Pellegrino's POV as she oversees the exit of nine large mysterious containers from the Citadel and their departure from the airstrip just outside the valley. One of her subordinates asks what's inside and she answers that she has no idea, with Dodgson only giving her a series of instructions. They watch the containers being flown abroad.
The following day, Pellegrino speak about it to Wu and other employees with anti-Dodgson sentiments like Drummond. She notices that Wu is uncomfortable as they talk about it and realize he must be hiding something. Ramsay, who just arrived from the US in preparation for a big corporate event in the Citadel, almost surprise their discussion. As they're not sure if they can trust him or not, they pretend it's nothing. Wu then phones Theo and asks him about his secret mission's progress.
London
In London, Theo finds the actress from the videos and initially posing as a reporter, filming her in an interview, he then ask her questions about the videos and after some hesitations, she concedes to give him answers and reveals among other things that the shooting occurred a few months ago in some local warehouse, that the director of those videos is none other than Colin Trevorrow (who, desperate for a job after the debacle of the Jurassic World film, accepted to participate to that project, oblivious that Biosyn was behind it since a dummy company took care of the production).
AISI
Vuillier arrives in Rome and meets with his agents, Nyamu and Viscontini in one of the AISI headquarters' conference rooms, where a map of Auronzo Valley and its surroundings has been laid. Kayla is also there and offscreen, our characters talk about the plan.
At the end of the meeting, everyone but Vuillier and Viscontini leave the room. Both have a secret conversation during which the Italian say that the Grey Guard's Mediterranean Company, supported by the Austrians and secretly by him (as he fears that Biosyn has informers within the Italian government), are deployed in one of the villages near Auronzo, and is supposed to act as a Plan B should the Claire-Owen-Dougal trio fail, by taking a secret path through an old mine and a mountain pass before breaking into Biosyn's citadel. The WDMC agents don't know that and when Vuillier ask why, Viscontini answers that it's better that way (should the agents be captured ant tortured, they won't tell Biosyn that there is a second team) and that the secret path isn't safer as one of his spy was killed by some creature after taking it and arriving in sight of the valley. He thinks that a small dozen of grey guards have better chances surviving the pass' guardian(s) than three civilian agents.
To the Dolomites
The next day, in the middle of the morning, Kayla is preparing her plane in some airstrip near Rome and the seized creature from the black market is loaded in the hold (I have no idea which species to choose). Equipped by the Italians, Claire, Owen and Dougal say farewell to Vuillier, Nyamu and Viscontini. The Frenchman tells Claire that it's time to unleash the She-wolf upon Dodgson but Claire correct him by saying "Not the She-wolf. The Dragon." (in this AU, she has a particular connection with the dragon-like Indominus), implying she'll get the mission done whatever it takes. He and the other two men wish them good luck and the trio of WDMC agents climb aboard the plane. They soon take off.
Biosyn's aerial defense
Kayla's plane arrives in sight of the mountains which delimit Biosyn's Sanctuary. Informed of their mission by Vuillier and Viscontini, one of the grey guards is watching the plane through his binoculars as it passes over the village where they are staying.
Kayla is soon contacted by the Citadel's control room as they detected the aircraft on their radars and they ask her why she's coming. The pilot answer that she collected an animal which might interest them (she told the WDMC agents and the Italians that Biosyn doesn't have this particular species in their Sanctuary) and ask to land on their airstrip. While the Biosyn employees discuss, the plane is about to enter Auronzo Valley by the east, as that part of the sanctuary is the furthest from most of the buildings (while the airstrip is in the northernmost parts of Biosyn's lands, beyond the mountains with the frozen dam lake) and thus where Claire, Owen and Dougal has the best chances of landing unnoticed. The trio of agents take their parachutes and prepare to jump, but at the same time, Dodgson, who heard that Kayla was arrested by the authorities just a few days ago, fears that her plane is a Trojan horse and decides to activate the valley's "aerial defense". On the screen of one of the room's monitors, we see a group of dots heading straight towards the plane. It's actually a group of pteranodons, from the same toothed variant as those who appeared in Jurassic Park 3 (there is even at least one black male identical to the scrapped one from Johnston's film), and they just collide with the plane, crashing against the cockpit and getting turned to shred by the rotors' blades, damaging the plane (the scene is partly inspired by a cutscene from the Ninth Mission of Paraworld's campaign). Owen wonder why those pteranodons behave in a suicidal manner. Suddenly, the pteranodons retreat and as their window is shrinking, the agents know they have to jump now (they've reached the middle of the valley and their trajectory deviated northwards, towards the mountain dam). Claire jumps first but as Owen is about to jump in his turn, the plane is attacked by a Quetzalcoatlus and the Raptor Whisperer sees another and a few pteranodons chasing her fiancée, whose parachute opened. Claire shakes the pterosaurs off by disappearing into the valley's dense forest. As they will be grabbed by the attacking pterosaurs as soon as they leave the aircraft, Owen, Dougal and Kayla stay inside it and brace for the crash. The plane crashes down at the surface of the frozen lake by the mountain dam in the northern part of the valley.
Back in Rome, Vuillier, Nyamu and Viscontini are worried as they heard the agents and the pterosaurs' screams (they had an open channel all that time with Kayla's plane). They hope the agents will survive this ordeal and activate the beacons they were given before their departure.
Note: The fate of the animal they took with them is still unclear for me. It really depends on the chosen species. If it's something large and potentially dangerous, Kayla would probably want to drop it in the valley in order to have a lighter plane and not deal with it after crashing. But if it's a creature about the size of a small dog for example, they could free it as they leave the wreckage.
Gigantoraptor
We then cut to Claire hanging in the trees but instead of a Therizinosaurus (which already appeared in TRQ. Moreover, Claire had a small arc with this species in that story), she is threatened by a Gigantoraptor. The scene plays out much like the Theri scene from Trevorrow's version, with Claire hiding in a pond etc.. Once the Gigantoraptor walks away, Claire gets out of the pond and sees the fumes from the plane's crash in the distance, behind the mountain dam.
The dam lake
Before it sinks in the lake, Owen, Dougal and Kayla leave her plane and step on the ice. Under it, they notice a large shadow and know they better move away from the lake. They notice a ladder by the dam but as they head towards it, a Quetzalcoatlus or a Pteranodon lands on their way. They step back, moving towards an opening on the lake's surface. Suddenly, a giant 9-meters long temnospondyl (based upon an unnamed and fragmentary genus from Lesotho) burst out the water, almost killing one of the characters. Ensue a scene where our three protagonists have to evade both the pterosaur and the amphibian. The pterosaur ends up being dragged underwater by the temnospondyl but other pterosaurs arrive and to escape them, our trio climbs on the dam and rushes to its elevator, going down in the valley. Down at the dam's base, they notice it's dilapidated and Kayla tell her two companions that Biosyn sell some of its power to the nearest villages.
Note: The main doubt I have about this scene is having a temnospondyl living in the icy water of a mountain lake. It might be too much of a stretch so if you think it's not realistic at all, it will be scrapped from the scene (and perhaps be replaced by a juvenile Baryonyx or something like this, an animal which could be also the one our characters brought with them in the plane.
Plan B
Since the agents lost their beacons during the pterosaurs' attack and the crash, they couldn't tell Rome that they were still alive. Vuillier and Viscontini fear the worst and send a message to Laurenzo Cesare.
Droppings
Meanwhile, Claire started walking towards the dam, hoping to find her companions on the way if they made it out alive from the crash. When she hears a racket in the woods, she hides and a Biosyn tyrannosaur arrives. But it's not on a hunting mode and instead, it just leaves some droppings on a log near Claire's hiding place. After the predator leaves, she approaches the log and smears her face with the droppings, remembering her "Walk in the Park" with Owen when they searched her nephews during the Fall of Jurassic World (the droppings hide her smell, dissuading the other animals to investigate her).
Argument
An argument bursts out between Owen, Dougal and Kayla while they're walking south. The first wants to find his fiancée, the second says that their mission is more important, and Kayla is mad at both men since she lost her plane (and livelihood) because of the WDMC's mission. And unsure about her intentions, the two men distrust her but she tries to reassure them by saying that Biosyn can fuck off since they are also responsible for destroying her plane.
However, the Sanctuary's denizens remind them that they better be united or else it will be the failure of their quest.
At some distance, in the middle of the fog, they see the recognizable silhouette of a sauropod, that of an Argentinosaurus (the species was seen in the distance and mentioned earlier in the story. Instead of Argentinosaurus, it could also be another large titanosaur). However, this herbivore has the particularity of having a symbiotic relation with some small carnivore species within Biosyn Sanctuary (I'm more thinking about a pterosaur or a flying/semi-arboreal theropod than a strictly ground-dwelling predator. For now, the baboon-sized Variraptor is my candidate), with the Argentinosaurus letting those carnivores eat its parasites and the insects flying around it while the carnivores will let out an alarm call shall a large predator approach. It could be illustrated in a scene where an Acrocanthosaurus (the one from the Drive-in scene) is spotted by the carnivores as it passes by. The Argentinosaurus turns to face the larger predator, adopt a defensive posture, and as the acro hasn't yet moved, the smaller carnivores take off from the sauropod and flies straight to the acro's head. Harassed by those creatures, the Acrocanthosaurus retreats. Thus, if those small carnivores (which we'll call the Argentinosaurus' suite) are brave enough to attack a megatheropod, our three protagonists know they're not safe and that they better move away.
The Sanctuary's true nature
While still heading north, Claire's path crosses that of a bull Shantungosaurus. She move out of his way and stay still. She and the audience recognize the animal as he was already in the JW rewrite and TRQ (in the first story, he gained some scars after a fight with a few Metriacanthosaurus), where he was a secondary "character" (and a threat in a few scenes). Both have a peaceful scene where they make eye contact but that quiet moment is shattered when a gunshot resounds in the forest and the hadrosaur flees, badly wounded. Claire hides and in the distance, she sees a hunter, accompanied by a couple of Biosyn security guards and another employee which she presume is some sort of supervisohunting guide. Watching how the hunter is dressed and how he behave in the wild, she knows he's not a professional hunter but just a rich hobbyist and then realizes the Sanctuary's true nature: It's a hunting reserve. As the Shantungosaurus escaped them, the hunter express his discontentment at the guide, which promise to find him another quarry. They leave and following the blood trail left by the hadrosaur, Claire finds him by a stream. His wounds are too grievous and he's too weak to lash out at Claire, who kneels by his head, trying to comfort him in his last moments, up until his last breath. Watching another of her former park's animals dying fills Claire with not only grief, but also anger. She change her plans and heads back south instead of continuing northward, following the hunting party's track.
Note: It doesn't necessarily have to be a Shantungosaurus in the role of the animal shot by the hunters, but it have to be a recognizable animal from the previous installments for emotional impact and Claire's development (another candidate could be the Therizinosaurus from TRQ)
She later finds another hunting party. One of its members, a Biosyn guard, pulls out an item she recognize: a raptor resonating chamber. The guard use it like a bird call and soon, an Achillobator, arrive, believing it heard one of its kind. The poor animal is shot by the hunters, who scream in satisfaction before taking a picture with their quarry. They then brings it to the Biosyn vehicle waiting nearby but before they leave (after having a short conversation during they mention that another team captured the rex and is bringing it the paddocks), Claire deliberately attract the attention of one of the guards, the same one which used the resonating chamber, and he say to his companions he won't be long. He move away from the road and deeper in the woods, he fall into Claire's ambush. She kill him, loot some of his equipment (including the resonating chamber), hide his body and leave. Worried for his colleague, the other guard with the hunters orders the guide to drive them back to the lodge, and search his friend. But he too is murdered by Claire, who takes a small metallic box on him. Activating the box, she realize it's a sonic weapon she has seen before, in the hands of InGen Security's elite troops during the fall of Isla Nublar (it's like a weaponized version of the box Dodgson and his companions have in Crichton's TLW). She turns it off, take it with her and follows the hunters vehicle's tracks on the road, towards the lodge.
However, Claire ignores she's being watched, and not by human eyes...
Over hill
Cesare and his men leave their accommodation and head for the frontiers of Biosyn's lands. Leaving their vehicles near a ruined fort, the grey guards start their trek while the sun is setting behind the mountains ahead of them.
A bed in the trees
As walking through the valley at night would be too dangerous, Owen, Dougal and Kayla decide to find a resting place and climb in a tree. From it, they have a panorama on a nearby lake and notice they are approximately halfway between the dam and the Citadel. At this moment, we also have peaceful scenes with the valley's denizens at dusk (Pelecanimimus fishing in the lake, herbivores drinking nearby, the same Spinosaurus from the report at the beginning peacefully sitting on the bank like an oversized duck...).
Theo's peace
In the evening, just a few hours before his flight to Venice, Theo also passes by his former home, which he left years ago before joining Ken Wheatley's mercenary company. His ex-wife still lives here and noticing that she started a new life with another man and seems happy, he walks away in peace, leaving behind him the last picture he had of himself and her (earlier in the story, Theo is seen looking at said picture).
The secret path
Back in Italy, the grey guards find the entrance of an old mine and enter it, taking the path that will allow them to pass under the limits of Biosyn's lands.
Mercenaries
Mercenary troops land in Biosyn's airstrip and their leader is brought to the Citadel. He has a discussion with Dodgson behind closed doors.
Foes... or allies?
A few hours after nightfall, Claire finally finds a large old chalet with typical Tyrolean architecture: The Hunting Lodge (it's implied that it was built way before Biosyn bought those lands, when the area was still part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire, before WWI). Claire remarks it's surrounded by an invisible fence (identical to the one from Jurassic World Evolution 2's Biosyn DLC) which prevents the animals from getting too close. Aware that the lodge wouldn't be a shelter for her and that its occupants probably outnumber her, she turns away from it, continuing to wander in the woods. But just a few minutes later, she hears sound in the nearby bushes. Aware she might be hunted, she is ready to use the ultrasound box and fight for her life. A pack of Achillobators shows up, menacingly walking towards her. At the same time, it starts to rain.
Claire first thinks of using the box and running away while the predators would be bothered by the sound but she knows it will be useless in the long run as they could track her all across the Sanctuary. She then remembers the reports she read earlier in the story, and especially that of the 2001 incident on Sorna, where Alan Grant and his companions walked out alive and unharmed from a close encounter with raptors.
In dire straits, she makes up a desperate plan and carefully, she pulls out the resonating chamber she stole from the Biosyn guards. She uses it and due to their bad experience in the sanctuary with the resonating chambers' usual users, the raptors get agitated but their pack leader tells them to calm down as Claire doesn't seem to be a Biosyn guard or a hunter. The pack leader walks alone towards Claire and sniffs the dried blood on her hands and clothes, realizing it belongs to other humans. Nothing happens for a moment and then the pack leader lets out a bark. Behind Claire, two raptors move aside. Slowly walking backwards, watching carefully the raptors' moves, Claire exits the circle made by the surrounding predators and continues doing so until she's at a respectable distance. At the beginning, the raptors just watch her but as she's heading towards the Hunting Lodge, she hears them following her. However, she is aware that they would have already pounced on her if they wanted to eat her and knows that they're more intrigued. Meanwhile, the rain intensifies (there could also be a storm).
Claire reaches the invisible fence, crosses it, and searches for its power source. But as she's sabotaging it, the Lodge caretaker (a gnarly-looking old local man) spots her and frightened by her look, runs away towards the building. She is forced to catch him and, after a short struggle, kill him with her knife before he can raise the alarm. After showing some trouble due to killing a probable innocent, she resumes her sabotage and the fence is deactivated. The raptors cross it and see Claire entering the lodge. Near its entrance, she finds a sword hanging on the wall as a decorative element and noticing it's still sharp, she takes it along with its sheath and heads for the rooms. Behind her, the raptors open the door and silently enter in the lodge. In the hallway which leads to the rooms, Claire stays still when the raptors walk past her as they head to the rooms and grin as her audacious plan is working. Claire enters one of the rooms, raises her sword blade over a sleeping hunter and when the time comes, thrust it into his body. Meanwhile, the raptors open other doors and entering the rooms, they rush on the sleepers. Slaughter ensues and only those who locked up their doors have the time to wake up, grab a weapon and fight for their very survival. Some of the lodge's occupants offer some resistance in the lounge but there, Claire activates the sonic weapon she stole and an ear-piercing sharp sound comes from it. While the raptors back off behind her, their common enemies kneel and scream in pain and Claire (who put on some earplug) slashes their throats, deactivate the weapon, and let the raptors tear the hunters alive while she raids some items (stuff like snacks, water, a first-aid kit, a map...) and leave, disappearing in the woods.
A bit later, she finds a small cave whose entrance is high from the ground and rest in it, sleeping until mid-morning.
The mountain's pass
At the end of their night-long ascent, the grey guards arrive in a pass/cave where they found human bones, which they presume to be those of the AISI's spy Viscontini told them about, and the remains of a Biosyn drone. Soon after, they are attacked by the guardian animal(s) the corporation left there to kill any trespasser coming from that direction. (I haven't chosen any species yet). They manage to defeat it (or them) and dawn break out as they arrive at a vista point which overlooks the valley. The grey guards observe it, the eyes of Cesare stop on the Citadel for a moment, and they retreat back inside the mountain to rest a few hours before descending into the valley. They send a message to Vuillier and Viscontini, telling them that they're inside the Sanctuary.
Traces of a slaughter
During their early morning patrol, a security team discovers that a massacre occurred during the night in the Hunting Lodge. They find clues indicating that someone helped the raptors and participated in the killings. The control room check the Lodge CCTV footage and fear spreads like wildfire among the staff when they discover the culprit is a sinister-looking black-clad hooded woman. Seeing that one of the figure's hand is a prosthesis and that the other wear a silver ring with a red gem, they realize it's Claire and Dodgson pretty much start to crap his pants (partly because one of the hunters was a very wealthy and powerful foreign client whose disappearance won't go unnoticed). Since she made it out alive from the plane's crash, Dodgson fears that the other WDMC agents might have too. When asked about the slaughter itself, Dodgson orders his staff to cover it up for the moment, as he don't want to worry the board of directors who are set to arrive later that day for a big event he planned in the evening.
Theo's return
Theo returns to Auronzo and Wu, who just learned about Claire's presence in the valley, tells him that they must get Maisie out of the facility as soon as possible since disaster tends to follow Claire like a shadow.
Taking the gloves off
However, Maisie has meanwhile discovered that the videos were another lie, by recognizing one of the scientists from the video, who also work at the Citadel (and who didn't aged, even though the adult Charlotte's video was supposed to be taken fourteen years ago). Aware that the gentle method is no longer considerable, Dodgson decides to use the hard one and Doctor Lesser locks Maisie in a cell within her lab, to which Wu can't access. Lesser reveal that it wasn't Wu who told Dodgson that she was a clone but the spy he has among Lockwood Manor's employees, and that the only true part in the video was the one about the genetic disease: Charlotte did had it, just like her mother Elizabeth before that (she died in 1993 and it was because of her Lockwood and Hammond fell out), and had the car accident which took her life didn't happened, the disease would have killed her a few years later. As he wanted Maisie to have a long life, Benjamin Lockwood asked the scientists he hired (there is a whole subplot about what they became in TRQ) to cure it and they did find a way. As the scientists' notes were accidently destroyed, the solution is now within Maisie's body, and Dodgson wants it so he can put new drugs on the market.
Before it's too late, Wu and Theo, with Ramsay's help, start organizing Maisie's evasion. The geneticist mentions a secret trail from WWI in the northeastern mountains: It's their escape route. He then heads for his lab, planning something else.
Tracking Claire
Curious about Biosyn's movements around the Hunting Lodge, Owen, Dougal and Kayla investigate it after the departure of the security troops. They discover evidence of Claire's passage and Owen tries to follow her fiancée's tracks. Kayla and/or Dougal make comments about the slaughter of the hunters.
Bigelow's last chance
Isaac Gibbon gives Jessica Bigelow a new mission: Go to Auronzo and ensure the evacuation of Lewis Dodgson and Biosyn's most important research. The agent ask her boss why and he said that he just received news that Biosyn is compromised. He also precise that it's her last chance after the Malta fiasco. Bigelow leave her safe house in central Italy and goes north.
Shady preparations
Continuing south, Owen, Dougal and Kayla see mercenaries positioning some sort of moveable antenna on a ridge which overlooks the road which connects the Citadel to the valley's northern continue, as finding Claire and entering the Citadel is more urgent.
The gathering of the clouds
One of the control room's employees ask Dodgson to come. He shows him footage from the Biosyn lands's southern gate, near the employee village.
Before the gate, a group of Carabinieri stand, showing to the guards and the security cameras a search warrant: The government finally decided to act against Biosyn. But Dodgson refuses to open the gates for the Carabinieri and orders the mercenaries who arrived during the night to intimidate them. The Carabinieri move away from the gate, with their leader warning against the consequences of such an action. At a respectable distance from the gate, Vuillier, Viscontini and Nyamu watched the scene. Soon, other groups of Carabinieri are deployed along the other entrances to Biosyn's lands. The siege of Auronzo has started.
Hearing about the siege's situation, some employees leave their post and head for the metro (which connects the Citadel to the village. Another loop also connects the Citadel to the various facilities across the Sanctuary, including the seven towers and the dam), in order to go to the village and then hoping to be able to leave Biosyn's lands before things starts to get too ugly but Dodgson's has the metro's station locked and commands them to go back to their posts. Seeing their CEO starting to act like Hitler in his bunker, they are afraid.
​
End of Act III.
See you tomorrow for Act IV

We are a family of 4 with two young kids, a toddler who’s nearing 3 years old and an infant who is 9 months old. We visited Japan in May of 2023 for 18 nights. We stayed in Tokyo, Kyoto, and Osaka, and took day trips to Nara and Kobe.
Some people might call us crazy for taking an international trip with two small children. But my wife and I, who were avid travelers before we had kids, hadn’t been out of the country since 2019 due to 1) having kids and 2) Covid. We were itching for a trip, so we took the chance. Were there some crazy times? Of course. Was it worth it? Definitely.
I did a lot of research and prep before the trip, but there are always surprises that come up when you have kids. I’ll try to share some of the lessons I learned on the trip.
—Flights—
This was our first time on an airplane with the kids. I was a bit worried beforehand and in retrospect the flights were the worst parts of the trip. The main advice I’d give is do as much as you can to make your flight more tolerable, which no doubt means spending more money on tickets and gear. But it’s worth it.
I considered a few different airlines for this trip: ZipAir, Singapore, ANA, and Japan Airlines. JAL was too expensive. ZipAir was interesting because they provide car seats, you don’t have to take your own. We didn’t rent a car in Japan so we didn’t need our own car seats. I was just worried about racking up extra fees on ZipAir. Singapore and ANA were similar, they both provide bassinets and the price was similar. I ended up going with ANA for two reasons: 1) I had flown ANA on a previous trip and been happy with them and 2) they fly to Haneda instead of Narita, which saves you time getting from the airport to your hotel.
We opted for 3 seats and a bassinet. My infant is big for her age so she barely fit in the bassinet (she’s 21 pounds). But we were glad to have it. I had to call in to ANA customer service which had an hour+ wait time to get the bassinet, but other than that it was no trouble.
Which leads me into probably the most important part of flying with kids on a lengthy flight: get your kids to sleep on the plane. The more they sleep the less likely you are to run into a tantrum or meltdown.
To encourage sleeping we did a few things: 1) Take an overnight flight 2) Get a bassinet for our infant 3) Get a JetKids bed box for our toddler. Our ANA flight from LAX left at 5pm, which allowed time for the dinner service to show up before we put our kids to bed. They set the bassinet up right after you get to cruising altitude, so it’s there the majority of the flight. Our infant rejected it at first but eventually fell asleep.
As far as our toddler sleeping, the JetKids worked well. There was a bit of trouble with it staying in place since we had bulkhead seats, but overall I was happy with it as a bed. I absolutely hate the JetKids a piece of luggage though, it’s not easy to lug around and holds nearly nothing. But it helped our toddler stay asleep most of the flight. You don’t necessarily need a JetKids though, other airline seat bed solutions may work just as well. Just bring something that will help your toddler sleep. If we had to do it again, I think I’d prefer having car seats over both the bassinet and JetKids. That’s probably what we’ll do on the next trip.
There were a few unexpected problems we ran into on the flights. On the first flight, our infant got motion sickness and spit up multiple times. She ruined one of my shirts and my wife’s pants. Not to mention my wife got motion sickness as well so I had to do most of the heavy lifting with the kids alone. It was a sleepless and messy flight.
On our flight home, there was a mechanical issue with the plane. They said we were losing oil. So on a Tokyo to Los Angeles flight we somehow ended up landing In Anchorage, Alaska. It goes without saying this was horrible and the flight home from Anchorage on Alaska Airlines was horrible too. But that’s not really relevant to flying to/from Japan so I’ll leave the details out. We won’t be flying with ANA ever again.
To reiterate, do what you can to make your flight easier. Get the non-stop flight. Get the extra seat. This isn’t the area to be frugal.
—Stroller—
So you survived the flight. How do you get your kids around once you’ve landed? We have two kids so we need a twin stroller right? Wrong. Taking a twin stroller to Japan is a huge mistake, don’t do it.
Most guides will tell you to use a carrier, and if you only have one small infant then that’s likely the way to go. But with two kids we used a travel stroller and carrier combo. At first I expected to only use the carrier and carry the stroller around until we needed it, but I quickly realized that carrying the stroller around all day is a huge pain. We have the Cybex Libelle which is small at 13lbs, but 13lbs is still heavy enough that you don’t want to carry it all day.
So our stroller remained deployed basically all the time. My infant sat in the stroller most of the day, until it was my toddler’s nap time. Then the infant went in the carrier and toddler in the stroller to sleep. It worked well for us.
How did we keep the stroller deployed the whole time? Elevators. Lots of elevators. And occasionally carrying it up and down stairs. The availability of elevators depends on where you are. Of the cities we visited, I’d say Tokyo is the best and Kyoto is the worst for elevator availability.
The wide majority of metro and train stations are going to have elevators. It can be hard to find the right entrance to use to find an elevator, but there is always signage and almost always a map. You may need to walk an extra 5 minutes, or wait in line, or get lost, so always give yourself extra time when catching a train if you are using your stroller. We spent a LOT of time looking for elevators on this trip.
We only found two stations our whole trip that had no elevator at all, one was the JR Kobe station and the other was a JR station in Tokyo (I forget which one). When this happened, I picked up the stroller and carried it with our infant in it on the stairs. If our toddler was in it I made her get up and walk, then carried the stroller.
The other problem at metro / train stations with a stroller is the gap between the train and the platform. There’s always either a gap or the train and platform are at different elevations. You don’t have a lot of time to get on / off the train so this was a constant source of anxiety. Once our stroller wheel got stuck in between the train and the platform. It took some effort to pop it out. Another time my toddler stepped in the gap, but luckily I was holding her hand and stopped her from falling in. Always be mindful of the gap when you have kids. It’s probably one of the least safe situations you’ll constantly run into in Japan.
Malls and shopping centers almost always have elevators. You may need to wait a while to get one though. In the malls with 10+ floors, you might need to wait 5 minutes for an elevator. Sometimes they have “priority” elevators for the handicapped and strollers but often times perfectly abled people rudely take up all the space in those elevators.
We thought we would have trouble taking our stroller into restaurants but it was actually much less trouble than expected. There was only one restaurant that flat out turned us away, Sushi Tokyo Ten in Roppongi. Other establishments will usually move a chair so you can put your stroller at the table or counter where the chair was.
So overall the stroller was annoying to use but I don’t think we could have done the trip without it. It was a necessary evil with two young kids.
—Shinkansen—
We used the Shinkansen to get between cities. We had two trips, Tokyo to Kyoto and Osaka to Tokyo. We did not bother with the JR Pass, it wasn’t worth it. Mostly because our trips were 8 days apart so we would’ve needed the 14 days pass which wasn’t worth it for two Shinkansen trips.
One thing that caught us off-guard about the Shinkansen is how quickly it leaves a station when it makes a stop. We were expecting to have some time to get on when the train arrived, but it’s basically the same as a Metro stop. You have to get on right away. We made the mistake of buying a reserved seat for a train leaving in less than 15 minutes, without knowing where the elevator was. So we scrambled to get to where we needed to go on the platform and were the last ones on the train. We jumped on the train at the last second, we wanted to get to our specific car from the platform but we weren’t going to make it. It’s a miracle we didn’t lose a piece of luggage or a kid on the way. On the second trip I reserved a seat on a train that was 40 minutes out.
As far as seating we only needed to buy two seats. We would have put our toddler on our lap if needed, but we didn’t need to. Basically, one side of the train has 2 seats and the other 3. If you find a row that has the window seat open on the 3 seat side, then it is very unlikely anyone will sit in the aisle seat if you reserve the window and middle seat. We basically got a free seat for our toddler this way on both trips.
—Baby supplies—
We had more trouble than expected finding baby supplies. A lot of guides online tell you to go to drugstores, and maybe we were going to the wrong drugstores but that wasn’t working out for us. We were distraught until we by chance came across Babies R Us. Yes, the Babies R Us that went out of business in the USA. We happened to be browsing the malls in Odaiba when we came across this gem. It’s a treasure trove of western style baby food and supplies.
Our infant is in the “purée” food stage and we didn’t find any in drugstores. Most of the baby food is juice or rice porridge. Babies R Us has aisles worth of puréed food. It has diapers, wet wipes, formula, nose cleaners, and basically anything else you’d ever want for your baby. We stocked up on everything when we found this place. There are several locations but we went to the Odaiba location in Tokyo and the Harborland location in Kobe.
Another smaller store we found in the mall below Tokyo Skytree is Dadway. They don’t have as much as Babies R Us but we did pick up some purée here.
The other place we picked up diapers and a few others things is Don Quijote, which has locations all over the place. Their baby food collection is basically as limited as drugstores, but it’s fine in a pinch.
—Eating—
I’ve spoken a lot about logistics, but I had one primary reason for going to Japan: to eat tasty food. I had been to Japan once before I had kids and fell in love with the food.
Most guides will tell you families should go to family restaurants. Nope. Not happening. We did not go to a single Saizeriya or Bikkuri Donkey. And I definitely did not go through all of this trouble to eat at Denny’s. We went to a total of ZERO family restaurants.
I’m here to tell you there are plenty of good restaurants you can go to with kids. Even with a baby. Even with a baby and a toddler.
I’ll tell you my main approach to finding restaurants that will allow kids to dine with you. Your main tools are: Tablelog, Google Maps, and the individual restaurant websites. Tablelog is a great tool and their “with children” section on the restaurant info page is very accurate. If a restaurant is listed as “Babies are welcome” or “Baby Strollers accepted”, then you can very likely eat there with a baby. If a place does not have such a listing, it isn’t necessarily a no, it’s a maybe. That’s when you need to search Google Maps reviews for “kids”, “children”, “family” to see if anyone mentions the restaurant’s stance on such things. If you can’t find anything on Google Maps, go to the restaurant’s website. If they have an online reservation system, it is likely to list their stance on kids on the reservation page.
I did a lot of research beforehand and pinned all the relevant restaurants on Google Maps. That way, no matter where I was, I could find some good kid tolerant restaurants. I say “kid-tolerant” instead of “kid friendly” because I consider “kid-tolerant” to mean that they let kids in the restaurant, while “kid-friendly” means they have a kid’s menu, high chairs, etc.
We were able to eat at a wide variety of restaurants, from overpriced Michelin starred places to budget Omakase places. There are a lot of restaurants in Japan. If a restaurant doesn’t let you in because you have kids, it’s fine because there’s another similar one that will.
This is a list of good restaurants we ate at with our infant and toddler. These are just the places we made it to, there were plenty more I had on my list we didn’t make it to:
Gion Maruyama, Gion, Kyoto
Sushi Wakon, Four Seasons, Kyoto
The Oak Door, Grand Hyatt, Tokyo
Kobe Plaisir, Kobe
Roku Roku, Grand Hyatt, Tokyo
Daiwa Sushi, Toyosu Market, Tokyo
Inshotei, Ueno Park, Tokyo
Sushidan, Eat Play Works, Tokyo
Nishiya, Shinsaibashi, Osaka
Tonkatsu Wako, JR Isetan, Kyoto
Soju Dining, Tokyo Midtown, Tokyo
Imakatsu, Roppongi, Tokyo
Mizuno, Dotonbori, Osaka
Rokurinsha, Tokyo Station, Tokyo
Tsumigi, Tsukiji, Tokyo
Lots of different food stalls in Tsukiji Market, Tokyo
Other times we ate at conveyor belt sushi places, department store basements, or ramen places. The basements are a good place to get something for everyone. My toddler ate a lot of gyoza and noodles on this trip, she didn’t take a liking to much else. But Ichiran and Ippudo were right down her alley.
Tsukiji market was our go to breakfast place when we stayed in Tokyo. There’s plenty of different choices there and it opens early enough for jet-lagged families.
Overall I had a great time eating. If my toddler is eating she’s usually not having a tantrum, and we tried as best as possible to put our infant to sleep before we went to any higher end restaurants. There were some awkward tantrum moments but for the most part it was fine.
—City by City Report—
Tokyo
We had two different stays in Tokyo, the first after landing in Japan and the second right before departing Japan. We stayed a total of 10 nights in Tokyo, but we wish we had even more.
We could have come to Tokyo alone the whole trip and been perfectly content. It has the best food, the most kid friendly facilities, and there’s plenty to see and do.
Here’s a few choice things we did with the kids:
DisneySea: My toddler loved this one. We’ve been to Disneyland in SoCal but this is completely different. Even I was excited since it’s been a long while since I’ve been to an unexplored Disney park. A lot of people will say DisneySea is for older kids but there were plenty of rides my toddler could get on. It’s a great place for toddlers. A must visit with kids.
Ueno park: We spent a whole day in Ueno Park. There’s a great zoo, a fun Natural History Museum, and good restaurants. We picked up bento boxes from Inshotei and ate them at a picnic table in the zoo. I think this park is also a must do with kids.
One of the city views: you have a few choices here but we went to Tokyo Skytree and Shibuya Sky. Shibuya sky is a little less kid friendly, because they don’t allow strollers on the roof and they have some weird rules about holding your baby on the roof. I think they’re scared of a wind gust pulling your baby off the roof? I like the mall at Tokyo Skytree, and there’s a Rokurinsha there too (very good dipping ramen).
Small Worlds: This is a miniature museum on one of the man-made islands in the bay. It’s a little out of the way, but we made a day out of Toyosu Market, Small Worlds, and Odaiba. My toddler liked this one, the exhibits are interactive and fun to look at. It was better than expected.
Other than that we did a lot of eating and shopping in Tokyo for us adults.
Kyoto
Kyoto was probably our least favorite city to do with kids. In general it’s just hard to get around. There’s a lot of stroller unfriendly places. Streets without sidewalks. Rough cobblestone-like roads. Temples are not stroller friendly. Hills everywhere. Good luck getting to the top of the monkey park with a stroller. It’s definitely a trend in this city.
Maybe if you have older kids it’s fine. But if you have younger than elementary school kids it’s probably skippable. There’s not that many kid friendly activities here either. Temples aren’t interesting for kids. The best kid activity here is probably the Arashiyama Monkey Park. My toddler got a real kick out of feeding the monkeys. Just be aware there is a significant hike to get to the top of the hill where the monkeys are. My toddler is a pretty good walker, she made it all the way without crying or complaining. But I saw some other kids that didn’t fare as well.
The other thing you might try near the monkey park is the Arashiyama bamboo forest. I think it’s one of the most overrated sights in Japan though. It’s just mobbed with tourists all day. It’s not enjoyable with the crowds. I’ve been here twice and I’ve been disappointed both times.
I doubt we will be back to Kyoto any time soon.
Osaka
Osaka was nice. It was a bit refreshing to have many of the Tokyo conveniences again. Elevators everywhere, well paved and flat roads, and plenty of baby rooms.
Osaka is a good base for taking nearby day trips as well. We went to both Kobe and Nara without needing to take the Shinkansen.
The best kid experience in Osaka is the Kaiyukan aquarium. It’s big. The central tank with the whale sharks is impressive. They have lots of different animals from all over the world. It’s bigger and better than any aquarium we have in California.
The one thing I wasn’t prepared for was the lines. You need to pre-book your timed entry tickets online. We didn’t, and ended up getting tickets that were for entry two hours later. And we were there right when they opened. If I go to the aquarium at opening time on a weekday where we are from we can walk right in. Lesson learned.
We stayed in Shinsaibashi and it’s a very walkable area. There’s a covered shopping street that goes all the way down to Dotonbori. Namba is walkable from there. And America-mura is between Shinsaibashi and Dotonbori.
The Daimaru mall in Shinsaibashi is good for kids. There’s a Bornelund in there with a small indoor playground, a Pokémon Center, and good food.
I liked Osaka overall. The only thing I thought was a let down was okonomiyaki.
Nara
Nara was worth the trip. It’s about 45 minutes from Namba on the train, so not too out of the way.
There’s deer all over. Deer that bow to you. In the park, on the sidewalk, in the street. It’s a unique experience you should see at least once.
The deer are rather aggressive when you have food for them. It’s not a place where you want your kids feeding the deer. As soon as you buy the food from the street vendor, they mob you. They try to snatch the food out of your hand. Make sure you watch someone else do it first before deciding to do it yourself. If I let my toddler do it she probably would have been terrified.
The other must see in Nara is Todai-ji. It’s impressive. The giant Buddha is something. This was probably the best temple we saw on this trip, it’s visually stunning. More than anything we saw in Kyoto. I did have to carry the stroller up and down some steps, but there’s not too many.
Kobe
Kobe was great. It exceeded my expectations. The trip from Osaka is easy. We spent a full day there.
We started our one day in Kobe at the Nunobiki Herb Gardens. I wasn’t expecting too much but this place is really nice. It’s big, with lots of different gardens and exhibits to see. There’s great views as well. We took lots of pictures.
There’s a few different places to eat and drink in the gardens as well. We had some sparkling rose at “The Veranda” which had a great view of Kobe. We didn’t eat because we had a lunch reservation down the hill.
There’s a few things to watch out for. This place gets busy, so get there early. There’s no reservations, you just go early and wait in line. When we left at midday the line was massive, so get there when they open.
The herb garden only takes up the top half the hill. At first I thought it extended to the bottom of the hill, but the bottom half of the hill is actually a hiking trail without gardens. So I bought a one way gondola ticket to the top expecting to walk down all the way, but after I realized the garden ended at the middle I bought another ticket to go down (instead of getting the round trip ticket like I should have).
After the gardens we went to eat Kobe beef. Kobe Plaisir was the restaurant I chose, which was both high end and had a kids menu. The beef was great and everyone had a good time.
Afterwards we went to Harborland. It’s a nice area on the harbor that has a big boat you can go out on, and a couple of shopping malls. The Anpanman museum is here too but by the time we got there tickets were sold out for the day. This is also where you can find a Babies R Us.
Our Kobe day was one of the best days of our trip. I’d suggest a day trip here for anyone.
—Closing—
It’s hard to travel with kids this age. No doubt. Everything will take more time and be more expensive than when you used to travel alone. But I do not regret taking this trip at all. As a matter of fact I want to go back right now. My wife loved the trip, and my toddler might even remember it when she grows up. She still talks about feeding the monkeys and how dad ate a “real fish” (A Japanese sweetfish they grilled in front of us at Gion Maruyama). Japan is a great place for a first family trip.

Hi RBB, where to start? I was mistakenly in RBN for a few years, but it's taken some introspection and more education to find my way here.
Any time I do post about my situation, I feel like I have to give all the context and that takes some time (probably engrained in needing to justify/qualify everything on a regular basis). but this is also a very convoluted chain of events so I apologize in advance for the length. For those who will jump to the TL;DR: Currently NC. Struggling with all the guilt of potentially never speaking to my uBPD mother again, so contemplating breaking NC to establish boundaries with my uBPD mother. Boundary definition is hard, and uBPD mom's behaviors are dissuading.

History

Family structure: My mother is a pwBPD, although uBPD. uBPD, as the two times we have done therapy as a family, she walked out as soon as the therapist suggested she was a contributing factor in any way. From the 4 subtypes, I shall anoint her the Hermit Queen - ranging pretty equally between both.
My father used to be an eDad, but they are in the middle of a 2-year-long divorce process, so he kind of could care less at this point what she does. Honestly, sometimes he still defends her, but for a lot of years, any criticism or the Cluster B's rolled off his back, probably because he was just trying to survive his own marriage. We'll stick with it because it's pretty truthful for majority of my life.
There are 3 kids: oldest (m36, split GC), middle (m33, GC) and me (F32 - likely BSC, although mainly just because I don't ever give into BPD tendencies than anything else. All the children have gone through our own bouts of rebellion). Both my brothers have really failed to launch tbh, and GC lives full time with parents, and SGC spends time there 50/50. HQ also uses money as a manipulation tactic, which can't work on me (living on my own/independently since 20).
HQ (hermit queen) has complained about her married openly to her 3 kids - really anything my eDad did that she didn't like - for as long as I can remember. I have blocked out a lot of my upbringing (unintentionally), but I could probably recount their marriage 'highlights reel' of offenses ranging from her birthday to christmases, to more birthdays and one-liners of inconsiderate comments she's repeated countless times to me, verbatim. I've been rooting for their separation for years, mainly so my eDad can be free, and so that I can stop. hearing. about how terrible he is. from HQ.
Therein lies the crux of my NC. I've taken the LC and VLC routes, without any formal announcements in the past, because her emotional baggage is so much. Any communication sucks her further in and she responds by inserting herself into the situation and then using her involvement as leverage to guilt me into 'spending time', or convincing herself she is unloved when I don't comply. Before going NC, I tried Grey Rocking a handful of times, which honestly only emphasized her emotional state because I was not contributing to the conversation with anything she could latch onto. That didn't work, so I attempted enforcing a boundary: do not talk to me about your marriage with eDad.
Seemed simple. Of course, nothing ever is. She would skirt around the topic tactlessly, "oh, sorry, you don't want to hear about that" and wait for my confirmation that, no, I did not, or reassurance to actively cross my boundary. It was pretty impossible for her to respect it, and exhausting for me to constantly ask her to.
Covid was sort a blessing in disguise in the sense that I did not have to see her (and of course horrible in every other way). I do struggle with guilt from being thankful for a shelter-in-place order due to a global pandemic, for a time where I was a fortunate to be able to work from home with my partner. But damn, it was so nice having a concrete reason (the only way she respects hearing "no") to why my partner and I would not come over for dinner, or 'stop by'. (If it wouldn't be apparent, my parents is absolutely not a fan of HQ.)
Planning family events or any 1:1 time leads to my second boundary I ever enforced - and she reminded me every time she she extended an invite: "I'm doing this to ensure you attend." - as if far enough into the future was the trick. (This was honestly my own doing, since I was very often 'busy' to avoid just telling her "no, I don't want to.")

Less-Historical History

^{(insert divorce})
After Covid, the very thin eggshell to which HQ and eDad's marriage was held together finally cracked under the weight. They both realized all the years they spent trying to repaisave/survive their marriage was fruitless and neither of them were willing to try anymore, and nothing was going to work. So they announced their intent to divorce to their kids.
HQ shared the "we still love you and want to be a family" approach with eDad. However, as soon as eDad was speaking to my siblings 1:1, HQ walked this back. She told me that this couldn't be further from the truth.
Insert flashback memory, right before one of my VLC stints, in which HQ shares that if eDad and her ever did divorce she would "take him for all he's worth". Real quote.She adamantly wanted to seek alimony (even if none of the kids were living with her,) because after x years of marriage, she would be entitled to it and she was accustomed to "a certain standard of living". She told me would make sure he would pay up for it and then some.
So, after the divorce is announced, I knew I didn't want to be around her very much. I couldn't possibly bear any more degrading of my father. I could not possibly support her further heightened emotional state of mind. The fact that she 'put on a happy face' for the family/announcement and it took her a maximum of two minutes to start bad-mouthing him only confirmed to me that she had not grown in since the time of her alimony epiphany (which at the time of the announcement was several years prior).
I didn't go NC right away. Any text exchanges had strings attached and guilt trips.
The timeline for the following events is pretty blurry, but it was very rapidly after the divorce announcement. HQ has felt like she has been held back with being married and unable to be her true self for many years. Somehow the family 'punished' her for being herself or having her own thoughts and opinions, so once she felt "free", she threw herself into dating. She did not share this with all of her children equally, as she tries to share the most selective information to the (perceived) least judgmental recipients, to paint herself in the best light. My GC brother informed me, because he was having trouble coping and he needed someone to commiserate with. Honestly, at this point I was fine because I wasn't around it. It wasn't like she was trying to interject ...whoever, into my life/to meet the kids.
However, she was being particularly needy - I would spend time with her and she would vent about the divorce. It was draining - so I told her, I didn't need a reply, I acknowledge she is going through a hard time, and that I want her to be happy, but I needed some space to figure out my boundaries, to reach a point where we can have a healthy relationship, so would appreciate some space from the divorce situation, which included her. She did not reply.
Seems simple? Straight forward? Agreed upon? Never. She took about a month to reach out after that, to have me refer her new boyfriend to the company I was working at. She didn't tell me who it was, and she's tried to refer friends through me before so it wasn't actually that out of the ordinary. Something felt off, especially with the timing so I checked the name with my GC, who confirmed she was trying to refer her new bf to my company. I was livid, and didn't hesitate to tell her my reaction. I was calm in my message, and reiterated my ask for space, and that her actions felt very manipulative.
She took zero ownership, and basically tried to say I was making it complicated. She never acknowledged it was her bf, which she stands by to this day to claim she didn't do anything wrong in that situation. She tried to rationalize why she was dating, missing the point entirely.
She kept sending random texts:

1. 'Fond' memories of me as a child, which was a situation where I was misbehaving (with good intentions) as a child, and how she admits she handled the situation poorly. (Somehow a talk with my GC convinced her this was something I was still harboring against her.)
2. Apology surrounding the events of how I left home (in which she has both made herself the power-holder as well as the victim in that situation). As I recall the events, yet another screaming match had escalated so far that I couldn't handle it any more - I told her I would be moving out, packing my shit immediately and leaving. She was furious and basically agreed in the heat of the moment - but and remembers this as "kicking me out".
3. (With the former message) she also apologized for "sharing her relational distress" with me, and for the "undue anxiety, grief, and stress", and then promised to be a better listener.
4. Random, random articles, without any context to them.

I responded to none of them, since I had asked for space!! (This just seemed to spurn her on.)
Finally, it came to a breaking point. I started it actually, by accidentally calling her. It rang for less than a split second and I hung up. She tried to call me back a few days later while was on a work trip, (so, traveling,) and on a call with my therapist. Somehow the software answered (it wasn't like a phone call, it was a video call, but not Zoom). I quickly hung up, but it was connected for like a second.
Very, very unfortunately she had also recently underwent a third or fourth surgery for a repeat medical problem (that honestly would resolve, if she listened to doctor advise - confirmed by a doctor!), so she texted immediately her favorite tactic: guilt. "I thought you'd call back after you woke up but no, so guess your initial call was a butt dial now, not concern for me after my recent knee surgery. Sorry to bother you, take care."

NC

Ok we're caught up now. This is where I go full NC. The passive aggressive response (very typical) was not necessary, and without her knowing my situation, she jumped to conclusions - again. I spent a lot of hours writing the text I sent to her, owning my inability to enforce my boundaries, and reiterating them to her - acknowledging once again the struggle she is going through and my hope for her happiness, and eventually reaching a healthy point in our relationship. I reiterated my ask for space, but putting a timeline on it this time: when the divorce gets finalized. I set a clear expectation, that I would reach out when that time comes to reopen the lines of communication. The divorce is still not final, if you are wondering.
Without having this wonderful piece of advice:

You could do everything "right" and they still may be unhappy.

I agonized over that text for basically 24+ hours. I got friends and GC to proofread. (I event read it to my therapist after - they were very impressed! Woo!)I didn't ask her not to reply, if anything I was fully expecting another convoluted, missing-the-point response, but nothing. She hasn't actually texted/called me since. She has not hesitated to complain about my, harbor over "where did I go wrong" to my brothers, to her sisters, except to me. She's done just about everything except: read my last (few) texts. I literally laid it all out for her.
All the pretty words I said to her ("I want to figure out my boundaries"), while true, have been a placeholder to basically buy myself time. It's been 2 years. 2 years should be enough time. But, I've been putting off just... hashing it out with myself. Little bit of a Schrödinger's Cat situation. I know (...sort of...) what I want, but: if I never vocalize it, I don't have to feel bad about it. I don't have to acknowledge that it affects the relationships with the rest of my family. I love my brothers, no matter how failed-to-launch they are, they went through a similar family dynamic. They are funny, interesting weirdos that I don't want out of my life. My (no longer e) Dad is an amazing person, we've built a much stronger relationship over the past few years, and I don't think it would fully jeopardize my relationship with him, but he knows where I stand with HQ and he suggested I wish her happy mothers day this year. He still cares for her, as a fellow human being that he spent many years of his life with.
^{Fun little side note: HQ also went years ignoring her siblings/parents because her own dad was basically an Nparent (undiagnosed, racist, bigoted, not good person. Only after he passed, did I meet my grandmother or my cousins on her side. (I still haven't met everyone on that side of the family.} I am sure she thinks I'm going to do what she did to her own family, which is why I got random apology texts.))
What I want versus what I don't want is a lot easier to define. (Admittedly, I don't really know how to reverse-engineer those for boundary establishing.)
These past 3-4 years have been amazingly, saddeningly wonderful. It's breaking my heart to admit that, y'all. But it's because she wasn't actively in my life.
When I think about the future with her in my life, I'm sort of paralyzed. I can't imagine getting married and trusting her to stay out of the wedding planning. I can't imagine eventually having kids and trusting her to babysit. I can't imagine her ever not dropping comments about any relationship I am in, comparing it/them/fights to hers with eDad - warning me not to make the same mistakes she did. I genuinely can't even imagine asking her to respect my boundaries and having her do so.
GC tells me she is improved, she's open to feedback and capable of growth, but he's been working with heon their relationship since he's been living with her. (Especially since after the divorce & eDad moved out, it's been mainly the two of them in the house.)
I am not as confident. I can't parent my own parent, I should not have to teach her how to be an adult, how to have a normal relationship with her own daughter, and constantly constantly tell her what is ok/not ok (in regards to my boundaries). I am exhausted just thinking about it.
This community seems so helpful and honestly just sharing my experience was kind of cathartic, since my partner doesn't really understand my complicated feelings surrounding my family. He came from an incredibly "typical" upbringing.
This:

The right to live free from emotional and physical abuse

is very empowering, and ...logical. But I am still struggling with all the guilt of potentially never speaking to my mother again.
I would truly love to hear if others have gone through something similar. How do you deal with the guilt? Or how do you deal with the regular toll of parenting a parent? I'll take setting boundary advice, too, lol.
If you got this far, you need a medal for reading my essay. Thank you.
TL;DR: Currently NC. Struggling with all the guilt of potentially never speaking to my uBPD mother again, so contemplating breaking NC to establish boundaries with my uBPD mother. Boundary definition is hard, and uBPD mom's behaviors are dissuading.

I (27f) and my boyfriend (27m) had a baby 2 months ago. As you know, sickness and such are big when it comes to newborns and infants. My biggest fear is RSV and oral herpes for my son. I've made it very clear no one kisses him on the mouth. I've also been pretty clear on boundaries when it comes to strangers. I guess I would classify myself as an almost helicopter mom mostly because I didnt have family and I'm a huge germaphobe. I grew up with scarce family. My mom raised me after her divorce when I was 6. My step dad raised me from the age of 8 on. So having a family that's super involved is honestly a blessing for me. I know almost none of my extended family. I was really excited when I met my boyfriend because he had a big family that loves to be involved in everything. My boyfriends family is Italian. Hes made it very clear that they are very close. During Easter when my son was barely a month old, he got passed around to aunts and uncles like he was a bag of potato chips. Being a new mom, you can imagine I was super anxious. I wasn't ready to hand off my baby to strangers. I said nothing that day and just took it because my boyfriend told me I was overreacting. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years but most of these people I met after I became pregnant. My boyfriend is very much a "go with the flow and avoid confrontation" kind of guy. I can catch him in a lie with evidence and he will walk away or refuse to admit/talk about things. So fast forward to today. I got my son's grandparents a gift from my son. We will call grandmother A and grandfather K. Grandma A was in her driveway when I pulled up, alone, and just with my son. I saw there was a mother(guessing 30s) and her daughter, who I later learned was 5. I immediately decided in my head I wasn't going inside. They are strangers and any parent knows kids harbor bacteria. Grandma A walked up to my vehicle (she was expecting me and didn't tell me she had company). I told her I'd just be dropping off her gifts as I didn't want to stay since she had company. I told her I wasn't comfortable bringing my son around people I didn't know or kids because I was worried he would get sick. By this time she was already in my back seat cooing at my son in his carseat. She told me the little girl was a good girl while I was telling her no. I set a clear boundary. She proceeded to grab my son out of his carseat and walk him inside saying "grandpa k will be excited to see him". Obviously I had no choice but to follow. These aren't my parents so I can't say "hey give me my kid back". The 5 yr old girl began touching my son and tickling his feet which made him cry. She then tried to stick her fingers in his mouth. The mother of the daughter told her to get away from the baby because the mom was getting anxious. Grandma A however saw no issue with this. The little girl tried to ask grandma A if she could hold the baby. She said yes but her mother said no because it was up to the mother(me). I then made a quick excuse of how I needed to leave. Grandma A then told me she would carry my son to the car. She did and she buckled him in. I came home crying to my boyfriend telling him I was uncomfortable and she disrespected a clear boundary when I said no. He told me he would take care of it. But given the non confrontational guy he is, I don't see it happening. He also proceeded to act very distant for the rest of the night which made me feel like I was being an overprotective dick of a mother. His parents also got us a baby monitor with an agenda. They got it and told us it was so they could watch my son whenever they wanted from their phones. I was nice enough to let them. I then had to move my camera directly over the crib because they kept moving it to see into the rest of the room. I breast feed and didn't need grandma A and grandpa K seeing my breasts. I asked my boyfriend to talk with them about that. He never did. So that's when I moved the camera. I dont know if I want to wait for him to speak with her or if I should talk to her myself even though she isn't my family. I understand she's the grandparent and I truly love how much they love my son. I'm blessed to have an involved family but the whole ordeal made me feel like I had zero control over my son or his well being. So AITA?

When I was brand new to NovelAi I had no idea how 2048 tokens really looked as text. So for anyone looking at the tiers, trying to decide how many tokens they want for Clio with the new update, I've tokenized Part of The Great Gatsby by Scott Fitzgerald (public domain since 2021).
That way new users can more easily visualize what the AI's maximum context is for each tier. According to the UI Clio uses the NerdStash Tokenizer, as different tokenizers will convert text to tokens their own way.
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In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since.
“Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone,” he told me, “just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.”
He didn’t say any more, but we’ve always been unusually communicative in a reserved way, and I understood that he meant a great deal more than that. In consequence, I’m inclined to reserve all judgements, a habit that has opened up many curious natures to me and also made me the victim of not a few veteran bores. The abnormal mind is quick to detect and attach itself to this quality when it appears in a normal person, and so it came about that in college I was unjustly accused of being a politician, because I was privy to the secret griefs of wild, unknown men. Most of the confidences were unsought—frequently I have feigned sleep, preoccupation, or a hostile levity when I realized by some unmistakable sign that an intimate revelation was quivering on the horizon; for the intimate revelations of young men, or at least the terms in which they express them, are usually plagiaristic and marred by obvious suppressions. Reserving judgements is a matter of infinite hope. I am still a little afraid of missing something if I forget that, as my father snobbishly suggested, and I snobbishly repeat, a sense of the fundamental decencies is parcelled out unequally at birth.
And, after boasting this way of my tolerance, I come to the admission that it has a limit. Conduct may be founded on the hard rock or the wet marshes, but after a certain point I don’t care what it’s founded on. When I came back from the East last autumn I felt that I wanted the world to be in uniform and at a sort of moral attention forever; I wanted no more riotous excursions with privileged glimpses into the human heart. Only Gatsby, the man who gives his name to this book, was exempt from my reaction—Gatsby, who represented everything for which I have an unaffected scorn. If personality is an unbroken series of successful gestures, then there was something gorgeous about him, some heightened sensitivity to the promises of life, as if he were related to one of those intricate machines that register earthquakes ten thousand miles away. This responsiveness had nothing to do with that flabby impressionability which is dignified under the name of the “creative temperament”—it was an extraordinary gift for hope, a romantic readiness such as I have never found in any other person and which it is not likely I shall ever find again. No—Gatsby turned out all right at the end; it is what preyed on Gatsby, what foul dust floated in the wake of his dreams that temporarily closed out my interest in the abortive sorrows and short-winded elations of men.
My family have been prominent, well-to-do people in this Middle Western city for three generations. The Carraways are something of a clan, and we have a tradition that we’re descended from the Dukes of Buccleuch, but the actual founder of my line was my grandfather’s brother, who came here in fifty-one, sent a substitute to the Civil War, and started the wholesale hardware business that my father carries on today.
I never saw this great-uncle, but I’m supposed to look like him—with special reference to the rather hard-boiled painting that hangs in father’s office. I graduated from New Haven in 1915, just a quarter of a century after my father, and a little later I participated in that delayed Teutonic migration known as the Great War. I enjoyed the counter-raid so thoroughly that I came back restless. Instead of being the warm centre of the world, the Middle West now seemed like the ragged edge of the universe—so I decided to go East and learn the bond business. Everybody I knew was in the bond business, so I supposed it could support one more single man. All my aunts and uncles talked it over as if they were choosing a prep school for me, and finally said, “Why—ye-es,” with very grave, hesitant faces. Father agreed to finance me for a year, and after various delays I came East, permanently, I thought, in the spring of twenty-two.
The practical thing was to find rooms in the city, but it was a warm season, and I had just left a country of wide lawns and friendly trees, so when a young man at the office suggested that we take a house together in a commuting town, it sounded like a great idea. He found the house, a weather-beaten cardboard bungalow at eighty a month, but at the last minute the firm ordered him to Washington, and I went out to the country alone. I had a dog—at least I had him for a few days until he ran away—and an old Dodge and a Finnish woman, who made my bed and cooked breakfast and muttered Finnish wisdom to herself over the electric stove.
It was lonely for a day or so until one morning some man, more recently arrived than I, stopped me on the road.
“How do you get to West Egg village?” he asked helplessly.
I told him. And as I walked on I was lonely no longer. I was a guide, a pathfinder, an original settler. He had casually conferred on me the freedom of the neighbourhood.
And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.
There was so much to read, for one thing, and so much fine health to be pulled down out of the young breath-giving air. I bought a dozen volumes on banking and credit and investment securities, and they stood on my shelf in red and gold like new money from the mint, promising to unfold the shining secrets that only Midas and Morgan and Maecenas knew. And I had the high intention of reading many other books besides. I was rather literary in college—one year I wrote a series of very solemn and obvious editorials for the Yale News—and now I was going to bring back all such things into my life and become again that most limited of all specialists, the “well-rounded man.” This isn’t just an epigram—life is much more successfully looked at from a single window, after all.
It was a matter of chance that I should have rented a house in one of the strangest communities in North America. It was on that slender riotous island which extends itself due east of New York—and where there are, among other natural curiosities, two unusual formations of land. Twenty miles from the city a pair of enormous eggs, identical in contour and separated only by a courtesy bay, jut out into the most domesticated body of salt water in the Western hemisphere, the great wet barnyard of Long Island Sound. They are not perfect ovals—like the egg in the Columbus story, they are both crushed flat at the contact end—but their physical resemblance must be a source of perpetual wonder to the gulls that fly overhead. To the wingless a more interesting phenomenon is their dissimilarity in every particular except shape and size.
I lived at West Egg, the—well, the less fashionable of the two, though this is a most superficial tag to express the bizarre and not a little sinister contrast between them. My house was at the very tip of the egg, only fifty yards from the Sound, and squeezed between two huge places that rented for twelve or fifteen thousand a season. The one on my right was a colossal affair by any standard—it was a factual imitation of some Hôtel de Ville in Normandy, with a tower on one side, spanking new under a thin beard of raw ivy, and a marble swimming pool, and more than forty acres of lawn and garden. It was Gatsby’s mansion. Or, rather, as I didn’t know Mr. Gatsby, it was a mansion inhabited by a gentleman of that name. My own house was an eyesore, but it was a small eyesore, and it had been overlooked, so I had a view of the water, a partial view of my neighbour’s lawn, and the consoling proximity of millionaires—all for eighty dollars a month.
Across the courtesy bay the white palaces of fashionable East Egg glittered along the water, and the history of the summer really begins on the evening I drove over there to have dinner with the Tom Buchanans. Daisy was my second cousin once removed, and I’d known Tom in college. And just after the war I spent two days with them in Chicago.
Her husband, among various physical accomplishments, had been one of the most powerful ends that ever played football at New Haven—a national figure in a way, one of those men who reach such an acute limited excellence at twenty-one that everything afterward savours of anticlimax. His family were enormously wealthy—even in college his freedom with money was a matter for reproach—but now he’d left Chicago and come East in a fashion that rather took your breath away: for instance, he’d brought down a string of polo ponies from Lake Forest. It was hard to realize that a man in my own generation was wealthy enough to do that.
Why they came East I don’t know. They had spent a year in France for no particular reason, and then drifted here and there unrestfully wherever people played polo and were rich together. This was a permanent move, said Daisy over the telephone, but I didn’t believe it—I had no sight into Daisy’s heart, but I felt that Tom would drift on forever seeking, a little wistfully, for the dramatic turbulence of some irrecoverable football game.
And so it happened that on a warm windy evening I drove over to East Egg to see two old friends whom I scarcely knew at all. Their house was even more elaborate than I expected, a cheerful red-and-white Georgian Colonial mansion, overlooking the bay. The lawn started at the beach and ran towards the front door for a quarter of a mile, jumping over sundials and brick walks and burning gardens—finally when it reached the house drifting up the side in bright vines as though from the momentum of its run. The front was broken by a line of French windows, glowing now with reflected gold and wide open to the warm windy afternoon, and Tom Buchanan in riding clothes was standing with his legs apart on the front porch.
He had changed since his New Haven years. Now he was a sturdy straw-haired man of thirty, with a rather hard mouth and a supercilious manner. Two shining arrogant eyes had established dominance over his face and gave him the appearance of always leaning aggressively forward. Not even the effeminate swank of his riding clothes could hide the enormous power of that body—he seemed to fill those glistening boots until he strained the top lacing, and you could see a great pack of muscle shifting when his shoulder moved under his thin coat. It was a body capable of enormous leverage—a cruel body.
His speaking voice, a gruff husky tenor, added to the impression of fractiousness he conveyed. There was a touch of paternal contempt in it, even toward people he liked—and there were men at New Haven who had hated his guts.
“Now, don’t think my opinion on these matters is final,” he seemed to say, “just because I’m stronger and more of a man than you are.” We were in the same senior society, and while we were never intimate I always had the impression that he approved of me and wanted me to like him with some harsh, defiant wistfulness of his own.
We talked for a few minutes on the sunny porch.
“I’ve got a nice place here,” he said, his eyes flashing about restlessly.
Turning me around by one arm, he moved a broad flat hand along the front vista, including in its sweep a sunken Italian garden, a half acre of deep, pungent roses, and a snub-nosed motorboat that bumped the tide offshore.
“It belonged to Demaine, the oil man.” He turned me around again, politely and abruptly. “We’ll go inside.”
We walked through a high hallway into a bright rosy-coloured space, fragilely bound into the house by French windows at either end. The windows were ajar and gleaming white against the fresh grass outside that seemed to grow a little way into the house. A breeze blew through the room, blew curtains in at one end and out the other like pale flags, twisting them up toward the frosted wedding-cake of the ceiling, and then rippled over the wine-coloured rug, making a shadow on it as wind does on the sea.
The only completely stationary object in the room was an enormous couch on which two young women were buoyed up as though upon an anchored balloon. They were both in white, and their dresses were rippling and fluttering as if they had just been blown back in after a short flight around the house. I must have stood for a few moments listening to the whip and snap of the curtains and the groan of a picture on the wall. Then there was a boom as Tom Buchanan shut the rear windows and the caught wind died out about the room, and the curtains and the rugs and the two young women ballooned slowly to the floor.
The younger of the two was a stranger to me. She was extended full length at her end of the divan, completely motionless, and with her chin raised a little, as if she were balancing something on it which was quite likely to fall. If she saw me out of the corner of her eyes she gave no hint of it—indeed, I was almost surprised into murmuring an apology for having disturbed her by coming in.
The other girl, Daisy, made an attempt to rise—she leaned slightly forward with a conscientious expression—then she laughed, an absurd, charming little laugh, and I laughed too and came forward into the room.
“I’m p-paralysed with happiness.”
She
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laughed again, as if she said something very witty, and held my hand for a moment, looking up into my face, promising that there was no one in the world she so much wanted to see. That was a way she had. She hinted in a murmur that the surname of the balancing girl was Baker. (I’ve heard it said that Daisy’s murmur was only to make people lean toward her; an irrelevant criticism that made it no less charming.)
At any rate, Miss Baker’s lips fluttered, she nodded at me almost imperceptibly, and then quickly tipped her head back again—the object she was balancing had obviously tottered a little and given her something of a fright. Again a sort of apology arose to my lips. Almost any exhibition of complete self-sufficiency draws a stunned tribute from me.
I looked back at my cousin, who began to ask me questions in her low, thrilling voice. It was the kind of voice that the ear follows up and down, as if each speech is an arrangement of notes that will never be played again. Her face was sad and lovely with bright things in it, bright eyes and a bright passionate mouth, but there was an excitement in her voice that men who had cared for her found difficult to forget: a singing compulsion, a whispered “Listen,” a promise that she had done gay, exciting things just a while since and that there were gay, exciting things hovering in the next hour.
I told her how I had stopped off in Chicago for a day on my way East, and how a dozen people had sent their love through me.
“Do they miss me?” she cried ecstatically.
“The whole town is desolate. All the cars have the left rear wheel painted black as a mourning wreath, and there’s a persistent wail all night along the north shore.”
“How gorgeous! Let’s go back, Tom. Tomorrow!” Then she added irrelevantly: “You ought to see the baby.”
“I’d like to.”
“She’s asleep. She’s three years old. Haven’t you ever seen her?”
“Never.”
“Well, you ought to see her. She’s—”
Tom Buchanan, who had been hovering restlessly about the room, stopped and rested his hand on my shoulder.
“What you doing, Nick?”
“I’m a bond man.”
“Who with?”
I told him.
“Never heard of them,” he remarked decisively.
This annoyed me.
“You will,” I answered shortly. “You will if you stay in the East.”
“Oh, I’ll stay in the East, don’t you worry,” he said, glancing at Daisy and then back at me, as if he were alert for something more. “I’d be a God damned fool to live anywhere else.”
At this point Miss Baker said: “Absolutely!” with such suddenness that I started—it was the first word she had uttered since I came into the room. Evidently it surprised her as much as it did me, for she yawned and with a series of rapid, deft movements stood up into the room.
“I’m stiff,” she complained, “I’ve been lying on that sofa for as long as I can remember.”
“Don’t look at me,” Daisy retorted, “I’ve been trying to get you to New York all afternoon.”
“No, thanks,” said Miss Baker to the four cocktails just in from the pantry. “I’m absolutely in training.”
Her host looked at her incredulously.
“You are!” He took down his drink as if it were a drop in the bottom of a glass. “How you ever get anything done is beyond me.”
I looked at Miss Baker, wondering what it was she “got done.” I enjoyed looking at her. She was a slender, small-breasted girl, with an erect carriage, which she accentuated by throwing her body backward at the shoulders like a young cadet. Her grey sun-strained eyes looked back at me with polite reciprocal curiosity out of a wan, charming, discontented face. It occurred to me now that I had seen her, or a picture of her, somewhere before.
“You live in West Egg,” she remarked contemptuously. “I know somebody there.”
“I don’t know a single—”
“You must know Gatsby.”
“Gatsby?” demanded Daisy. “What Gatsby?”
Before I could reply that he was my neighbour dinner was announced; wedging his tense arm imperatively under mine, Tom Buchanan compelled me from the room as though he were moving a checker to another square.
Slenderly, languidly, their hands set lightly on their hips, the two young women preceded us out on to a rosy-coloured porch, open toward the sunset, where four candles flickered on the table in the diminished wind.
“Why candles?” objected Daisy, frowning. She snapped them out with her fingers. “In two weeks it’ll be the longest day in the year.” She looked at us all radiantly. “Do you always watch for the longest day of the year and then miss it? I always watch for the longest day in the year and then miss it.”
“We ought to plan something,” yawned Miss Baker, sitting down at the table as if she were getting into bed.
“All right,” said Daisy. “What’ll we plan?” She turned to me helplessly: “What do people plan?”
Before I could answer her eyes fastened with an awed expression on her little finger.
“Look!” she complained; “I hurt it.”
We all looked—the knuckle was black and blue.
“You did it, Tom,” she said accusingly. “I know you didn’t mean to, but you did do it. That’s what I get for marrying a brute of a man, a great, big, hulking physical specimen of a—”
“I hate that word ‘hulking,’ ” objected Tom crossly, “even in kidding.”
“Hulking,” insisted Daisy.
Sometimes she and Miss Baker talked at once, unobtrusively and with a bantering inconsequence that was never quite chatter, that was as cool as their white dresses and their impersonal eyes in the absence of all desire. They were here, and they accepted Tom and me, making only a polite pleasant effort to entertain or to be entertained. They knew that presently dinner would be over and a little later the evening too would be over and casually put away. It was sharply different from the West, where an evening was hurried from phase to phase towards its close, in a continually disappointed anticipation or else in sheer nervous dread of the moment itself.
“You make me feel uncivilized, Daisy,” I confessed on my second glass of corky but rather impressive claret. “Can’t you talk about crops or something?”
I meant nothing in particular by this remark, but it was taken up in an unexpected way.
“Civilization’s going to pieces,” broke out Tom violently. “I’ve gotten to be a terrible pessimist about things. Have you read The Rise of the Coloured Empires by this man Goddard?”
“Why, no,” I answered, rather surprised by his tone.
“Well, it’s a fine book, and everybody ought to read it. The idea is if we don’t look out the white race will be—will be utterly submerged. It’s all scientific stuff; it’s been proved.”
“Tom’s getting very profound,” said Daisy, with an expression of unthoughtful sadness. “He reads deep books with long words in them. What was that word we—”
“Well, these books are all scientific,” insisted Tom, glancing at her impatiently. “This fellow has worked out the whole thing. It’s up to us, who are the dominant race, to watch out or these other races will have control of things.”
“We’ve got to beat them down,” whispered Daisy, winking ferociously toward the fervent sun.
“You ought to live in California—” began Miss Baker, but Tom interrupted her by shifting heavily in his chair.
“This idea is that we’re Nordics. I am, and you are, and you are, and—” After an infinitesimal hesitation he included Daisy with a slight nod, and she winked at me again. “—And we’ve produced all the things that go to make civilization—oh, science and art, and all that. Do you see?”
There was something pathetic in his concentration, as if his complacency, more acute than of old, was not enough to him any more. When, almost immediately, the telephone rang inside and the butler left the porch Daisy seized upon the momentary interruption and leaned towards me.
“I’ll tell you a family secret,” she whispered enthusiastically. “It’s about the butler’s nose. Do you want to hear about the butler’s nose?”
“That’s why I came over tonight.”
“Well, he wasn’t always a butler; he used to be the silver polisher for some people in New York that had a silver service for two hundred people. He had to polish it from morning till night, until finally it began to affect his nose—”
“Things went from bad to worse,” suggested Miss Baker.
“Yes. Things went from bad to worse, until finally he had to give up his position.”
For a moment the last sunshine fell with romantic affection upon her glowing face; her voice compelled me forward breathlessly as I listened—then the glow faded, each light deserting her with lingering regret, like children leaving a pleasant street at dusk.
The butler came back and murmured something close to Tom’s ear, whereupon Tom frowned, pushed back his chair, and without a word went inside. As if his absence quickened something within her, Daisy leaned forward again, her voice glowing and singing.
“I love to see you at my table, Nick. You remind me of a—of a rose, an absolute rose. Doesn’t he?” She turned to Miss Baker for confirmation: “An absolute rose?”
This was untrue. I am not even faintly like a rose. She was only extemporizing, but a stirring warmth flowed from her, as if her heart was trying to come out to you concealed in one of those breathless, thrilling words. Then suddenly she threw her napkin on the table and excused herself and went into the house.
Miss Baker and I exchanged a short glance consciously devoid of meaning. I was about to speak when she sat up alertly and said “Sh!” in a warning voice. A subdued impassioned murmur was audible in the room beyond, and Miss Baker leaned forward unashamed, trying to hear. The murmur trembled on the verge of coherence, sank down, mounted excitedly, and then ceased altogether.
“This Mr. Gatsby you spoke of is my neighbour—” I began.
“Don’t talk. I want to hear what happens.”
“Is something happening?” I inquired innocently.
“You mean to say you don’t know?” said Miss Baker, honestly surprised. “I thought everybody knew.”
“I don’t.”
“Why—” she said hesitantly. “Tom’s got some woman in New York.”
“Got some woman?” I repeated blankly.
Miss Baker nodded.
“She might have the decency not to telephone him at dinner time. Don’t you think?”
Almost before I had grasped her meaning there was the flutter of a dress and the crunch of leather boots, and Tom and Daisy were back at the table.
“It couldn’t be helped!” cried Daisy with tense gaiety.
She sat down, glanced searchingly at Miss Baker and then at me, and continued: “I looked outdoors for a minute, and it’s very romantic outdoors. There’s a bird on the lawn that I think must be a nightingale come over on the Cunard or White Star Line. He’s singing away—” Her voice sang: “It’s romantic, isn’t it, Tom?”
“Very romantic,” he said, and then miserably to me: “If it’s light enough after dinner, I want to take you down to the stables.”
The telephone rang inside, startlingly, and as Daisy shook her head decisively at Tom the subject of the stables, in fact all subjects, vanished into air. Among the broken fragments of the last five minutes at table I remember the candles being lit again, pointlessly, and I was conscious of wanting to look squarely at everyone, and yet to avoid all eyes. I couldn’t guess what Daisy and Tom were thinking, but I doubt if even Miss Baker, who seemed to have mastered a certain hardy scepticism, was able utterly to put this fifth guest’s shrill metallic urgency out of mind. To a certain temperament the situation might have seemed intriguing—my own instinct was to telephone immediately for the police.
The horses, needless to say, were not mentioned again. Tom and Miss Baker, with several feet of twilight between them, strolled back into the library, as if to a vigil beside a perfectly tangible body, while, trying to look pleasantly interested and a little deaf, I followed Daisy around a chain of connecting verandas to the porch in front. In its deep gloom we sat down side by side on a wicker settee.
Daisy took her face in her hands as if feeling its lovely shape, and her eyes moved gradually out into the velvet dusk. I saw that turbulent emotions possessed her, so I asked what I thought would be some sedative questions about her little girl.
“We don’t know each other very well, Nick,” she said suddenly. “Even if we are cousins. You didn’t come to my wedding.”
“I wasn’t back from the war.”
“That’s true.” She hesitated. “Well, I’ve had a very bad time, Nick, and I’m pretty cynical about everything.”
Evidently she had reason to be. I waited but she
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didn’t say any more, and after a moment I returned rather feebly to the subject of her daughter.
“I suppose she talks, and—eats, and everything.”
“Oh, yes.” She looked at me absently. “Listen, Nick; let me tell you what I said when she was born. Would you like to hear?”
“Very much.”
“It’ll show you how I’ve gotten to feel about—things. Well, she was less than an hour old and Tom was God knows where. I woke up out of the ether with an utterly abandoned feeling, and asked the nurse right away if it was a boy or a girl. She told me it was a girl, and so I turned my head away and wept. ‘All right,’ I said, ‘I’m glad it’s a girl. And I hope she’ll be a fool—that’s the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool.’
“You see I think everything’s terrible anyhow,” she went on in a convinced way. “Everybody thinks so—the most advanced people. And I know. I’ve been everywhere and seen everything and done everything.” Her eyes flashed around her in a defiant way, rather like Tom’s, and she laughed with thrilling scorn. “Sophisticated—God, I’m sophisticated!”
The instant her voice broke off, ceasing to compel my attention, my belief, I felt the basic insincerity of what she had said. It made me uneasy, as though the whole evening had been a trick of some sort to exact a contributory emotion from me. I waited, and sure enough, in a moment she looked at me with an absolute smirk on her lovely face, as if she had asserted her membership in a rather distinguished secret society to which she and Tom belonged.
Inside, the crimson room bloomed with light. Tom and Miss Baker sat at either end of the long couch and she read aloud to him from the Saturday Evening Post—the words, murmurous and uninflected, running together in a soothing tune. The lamplight, bright on his boots and dull on the autumn-leaf yellow of her hair, glinted along the paper as she turned a page with a flutter of slender muscles in her arms.
When we came in she held us silent for a moment with a lifted hand.
“To be continued,” she said, tossing the magazine on the table, “in our very next issue.”
Her body asserted itself with a restless movement of her knee, and she stood up.
“Ten o’clock,” she remarked, apparently finding the time on the ceiling. “Time for this good girl to go to bed.”
“Jordan’s going to play in the tournament tomorrow,” explained Daisy, “over at Westchester.”
“Oh—you’re Jordan Baker.”
I knew now why her face was familiar—its pleasing contemptuous expression had looked out at me from many rotogravure pictures of the sporting life at Asheville and Hot Springs and Palm Beach. I had heard some story of her too, a critical, unpleasant story, but what it was I had forgotten long ago.
“Good night,” she said softly. “Wake me at eight, won’t you.”
“If you’ll get up.”
“I will. Good night, Mr. Carraway. See you anon.”
“Of course you will,” confirmed Daisy. “In fact I think I’ll arrange a marriage. Come over often, Nick, and I’ll sort of—oh—fling you together. You know—lock you up accidentally in linen closets and push you out to sea in a boat, and all that sort of thing—”
“Good night,” called Miss Baker from the stairs. “I haven’t heard a word.”
“She’s a nice girl,” said Tom after a moment. “They oughtn’t to let her run around the country this way.”
“Who oughtn’t to?” inquired Daisy coldly.
“Her family.”
“Her family is one aunt about a thousand years old. Besides, Nick’s going to look after her, aren’t you, Nick? She’s going to spend lots of weekends out here this summer. I think the home influence will be very good for her.”
Daisy and Tom looked at each other for a moment in silence.
“Is she from New York?” I asked quickly.
“From Louisville. Our white girlhood was passed together there. Our beautiful white—”
“Did you give Nick a little heart to heart talk on the veranda?” demanded Tom suddenly.
“Did I?” She looked at me. “I can’t seem to remember, but I think we talked about the Nordic race. Yes, I’m sure we did. It sort of crept up on us and first thing you know—”
“Don’t believe everything you hear, Nick,” he advised me.
I said lightly that I had heard nothing at all, and a few minutes later I got up to go home. They came to the door with me and stood side by side in a cheerful square of light. As I started my motor Daisy peremptorily called: “Wait!”
“I forgot to ask you something, and it’s important. We heard you were engaged to a girl out West.”
“That’s right,” corroborated Tom kindly. “We heard that you were engaged.”
“It’s a libel. I’m too poor.”
“But we heard it,” insisted Daisy, surprising me by opening up again in a flower-like way. “We heard it from three people, so it must be true.”
Of course I knew what they were referring to, but I wasn’t even vaguely engaged. The fact that gossip had published the banns was one of the reasons I had come East. You can’t stop going with an old friend on account of rumours, and on the other hand I had no intention of being rumoured into marriage.
Their interest rather touched me and made them less remotely rich—nevertheless, I was confused and a little disgusted as I drove away. It seemed to me that the thing for Daisy to do was to rush out of the house, child in arms—but apparently there were no such intentions in her head. As for Tom, the fact that he “had some woman in New York” was really less surprising than that he had been depressed by a book. Something was making him nibble at the edge of stale ideas as if his sturdy physical egotism no longer nourished his peremptory heart.
Already it was deep summer on roadhouse roofs and in front of wayside garages, where new red petrol-pumps sat out in pools of light, and when I reached my estate at West Egg I ran the car under its shed and sat for a while on an abandoned grass roller in the yard. The wind had blown off, leaving a loud, bright night, with wings beating in the trees and a persistent organ sound as the full bellows of the earth blew the frogs full of life. The silhouette of a moving cat wavered across the moonlight, and, turning my head to watch it, I saw that I was not alone—fifty feet away a figure had emerged from the shadow of my neighbour’s mansion and was standing with his hands in his pockets regarding the silver pepper of the stars. Something in his leisurely movements and the secure position of his feet upon the lawn suggested that it was Mr. Gatsby himself, come out to determine what share was his of our local heavens.
I decided to call to him. Miss Baker had mentioned him at dinner, and that would do for an introduction. But I didn’t call to him, for he gave a sudden intimation that he was content to be alone—he stretched out his arms toward the dark water in a curious way, and, far as I was from him, I could have sworn he was trembling. Involuntarily I glanced seaward—and distinguished nothing except a single green light, minute and far away, that might have been the end of a dock. When I looked once more for Gatsby he had vanished, and I was alone again in the unquiet darkness.
II
About halfway between West Egg and New York the motor road hastily joins the railroad and runs beside it for a quarter of a mile, so as to shrink away from a certain desolate area of land. This is a valley of ashes—a fantastic farm where ashes grow like wheat into ridges and hills and grotesque gardens; where ashes take the forms of houses and chimneys and rising smoke and, finally, with a transcendent effort, of ash-grey men, who move dimly and already crumbling through the powdery air. Occasionally a line of grey cars crawls along an invisible track, gives out a ghastly creak, and comes to rest, and immediately the ash-grey men swarm up with leaden spades and stir up an impenetrable cloud, which screens their obscure operations from your sight.
But above the grey land and the spasms of bleak dust which drift endlessly over it, you perceive, after a moment, the eyes of Doctor T. J. Eckleburg. The eyes of Doctor T. J. Eckleburg are blue and gigantic—their retinas are one yard high. They look out of no face, but, instead, from a pair of enormous yellow spectacles which pass over a nonexistent nose. Evidently some wild wag of an oculist set them there to
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I've noticed a fascinating dichotomy in fan perceptions of two prominent Breaking Bad characters - Walter White and Mike Ehrmantraut. Despite both engaging in illegal activities and committing murder, fans often harbor more disdain for Walt while somewhat sympathizing with Mike. I have a theory for this apparent paradox, rooted in the cultural aftermath of 9/11 and the perception of warfare versus terrorism.
Walt is often criticized for his deceit, manipulation, pride, and reckless decisions (such as poisoning Brock). He isn't simply a man gone astray; his ego propels him into increasingly darker territory. Mike, in contrast, earns respect for his professional conduct, calculated decisions, and adherence to a personal "code" - a stark contrast to Walt's unpredictable behavior.
Objectively, both Walt and Mike are on the wrong side of the law, engaging in drug trade and committing calculated murders when necessary. Yet Mike is often seen as less reprehensible. I believe this difference comes down to societal perceptions of order and disruption.
Mike's character mirrors the discipline and rule-adherence of a soldier. Despite the devastation of war, societies often "excuse" the actions of their soldiers because they operate under a code. This is evidenced by historical events like World War II and the Vietnam War, where large-scale bombings were carried out, causing massive civilian casualties. Still, these actions are often seen as regrettable necessities of war, rather than terrorism. Similarly, Mike's actions, while not morally right, are viewed as part of the 'rules' of the criminal underworld.
Walt, conversely, is seen as a disruptor. His rapid ascent to power, breaking the established 'rules' of the drug trade, echoes the unpredictability and fear associated with terrorism. The 9/11 terrorists weren't seen as soldiers because they broke the code of war, much like Walt disrupts the 'code' of the drug trade. The viewers, expecting Walt to maintain his initial meek persona, are thrown off by his transformation into a ruthless drug lord.
In the end, both Walt and Mike derive a thrill from their criminal activities, using the pretext of family necessity to justify their actions. Both had alternatives to earn money legally, making them equally culpable. Just as bombing civilians is as wrong in war as in terrorism, Walt and Mike's actions, however justified within their narratives, are ultimately morally indefensible.
This theory isn't definitive but merely a perspective to stimulate discussion. I'm eager to hear your views on why you may sympathize with or condemn either Walt or Mike.

This one is really complex for me, because it involves my splitting defenses (played out in opposing schemas), and enmeshment. Ugh. There's just so much going on.
What I have come to notice is that becoming self-aware has complicated my feelings towards my parents in incredibly profound ways. Things that used to make me angry and resentful over my upbringing tend to make me less angry, and other things, more-so. I think, for simplicity's sake, I'll try to boil things down into a couple different schemas/self-states I find myself in.

1. There's the "everyone's human, everyone deserves love, even them" mode of thinking. This one is an outgrowth of the "there's nothing wrong with me and my family" thinking that served me well in childhood, and was my main mode of operating in life up until I started gaining more self-awareness. "Yea, they fight a lot, and sometimes dad yells at me, but I know deep down, he really loves me." There's probably more than a couple different schemas at play here, with a range of different sentiments and attitudes. "I just want everyone to be happy and feel good." "It's time to let the past be the past." "It's no use holding on to bitterness and anger, etc." When I first got into therapy in my early twenties, my therapist smashed this one to bits. I'll come back to this one in a little later on.
2. After the therapy smashing of my early twenties, a few other schemas/self-states started emerging. The angry protector. The healthy (and sometimes self-righteous) adult. The sad, hurt, scared child also reemerged a lot. I found myself ruminating over my childhood ALL THE TIME. I took arms up with my eldest sister against my parents. I had INTENSE, dissociative rage attacks, fantasy fights, and the like. I wanted them to hurt, and I wanted them to understand what they did to us. At the same time, I knew I could never make the hurt they did to us understood, and I realized what a waste of time it was, even as I struggled with daydreaming about writing them hurtful, withering letters describing all the ways in which they failed me, hurt me, and destroyed my life. I understood (and still do), I did not get what I deserved. No one deserves abuse. But this wasn't enough. My feelings towards them would spiral into disdain and contempt, and often, downright hatred. THEY were responsible for what they did. THEY KNEW what they did to us. THEY ENJOYED doing it.
3. Following collapse and subsequent awareness, I found myself immediately backpedaling a lot, going back and forth. This is when I started becoming aware of just how enmeshed my own self-perception is with theirs (and also my sisters, who were parental figures to me as well). It seems that the parts of myself that had internalized them in childhood, was (and still is) fighting against himself. Now I'm looking at my own life, and realizing--it looks SO MUCH like my father's. All of the vitriol towards "narcissistic abuse" I had subsumed and amassed from therapists and content online, started to betray my perceptions. I started learning more about the disorder itself, and a number of implicating questions arose. "Are narcissists aware of the harm they are causing?" "Can they really be aware if their perceptions are badly distorted at best?" "Wait! Was I aware of the harm I was causing?"
4. Enter chaos. Horror. Bewilderment. "But EVERYONE is ultimately responsible for their behavior, aren't they?" "My dad and I are separate people, with separate lives. I'm responsible for mine, he's responsible for his." "But I KNOW I'm better than my dad. I'm not the monster he is. I would NEVER put a child through what my parents put me through." "No one is 'better' than ANYONE. We are all humans and were just given different circumstances, different lots in life." Enter endless subsequent rationalizations, characteconduct evaluations, and comparisons.
5. I think at this point, I am caught in between endless, toxic cycle of splitting, projective identification, and enmeshment. The truth is, I don't know how to hold my parents responsible, and it makes holding myself up until this point in time more difficult. The anger, rage, and hatred towards them (and by extension, my self) is there--but is constantly being reframed and reevaluated through the different lenses/schemas of my disintegrated psyche. "They not bad people, they're MENTALLY ILL people." "But they're still responsible!" "But they were unaware! They're frozen five-year-olds". "Oh fuck, who am I to judge them? Let's focus on the things YOU'VE done." "But I am trying to change and take responsibility!" "Do you think that makes you better than them?"

What I've become much more aware of is my own splitting. It's like I can live in one self-state which harbors a number of feelings, attitudes, and beliefs about them and myself, and I can still SEE the others. But I can only inhabit and emotionally embody one split-off state at a time. Ex: My mom/dad does something that triggers my anger. Anger spirals into other ruminative thoughts I've had about the past. I can still "see" the parts of my psyche that acknowledge the fact that they are humans and I don't actually hate them in their entirety. But when I'm in that split-off self-state place, yes, I do. I hate them very fucking much, and I don't care about their precious little humanity.
Whew. Honestly, that's only a rough estimation of everything that goes on, there's so much more that could be talked about than just what I put down here.
What's interesting to me is how now, it's not so much my dad's overt abuse and gaslighting that makes me the angriest. The thing that hurts the most is I have become incredibly aware of their lack of empathic attunement, how it's caused me to hide from them and hide parts of myself from myself my whole life. How they have denied me my inner reality my whole life, and still do. How they know absolutely nothing about me, and are so unaware of just how little they actually know.
The realization of what an extension of them I have always been; a mirror to them to see themselves in, and nothing more. How my dad walks into my room, and starts ranting at me about things I have no interest, idea about, or reference for, to seek my validation or approval. How really, I'M NOT REALLY EVEN THERE.
Am I like this? Do I only use people to see myself in them?
Yea, man. I don't fucking know how I feel about my parents. I don't really know how all of it makes me feel about myself, either.

Nature of Predators is created by u/SpacePaladin15, whom was willing to let his horde of fans write fanfiction.
I'd like to give my thanks to u/SavingsSyllabub7788, the creator of Death of a Monster, and one of my favorite birbs. for giving me an odd bit of inspiration, and the discord at large for shaping this story with theories and random discussions. This one shot didn't even conceptually exist last week.
Also referenced u/Acceptable_Egg5560's Nature of a Giant in this one.
Tell me how you feel about this story. I'm content with where it ends, but others' insight always helps me figure out my flaws.
.*~*.
Memory Transcription Subject: Barkim, forsaken krakotl veteran.
Date: December 20, 2136
.~*~.
I came before Captain Sovlin and Captain Kalsim. I remember watching Kalsim train. I doubt he remembers me. My career made me into a captain pretty fast. Faster than most. I had repelled five Arxur raids while in control of the bridge. My crew were brave enough to trust me and my insane methods. Letting a colony world fall was unacceptable in my eyes. We were the vigilant, always ready to warp in ten minutes or less. The federation as whole didn't seem to understand how much value a few extra minutes bought for the settlers meant. Even if I had to order a retreat, tens of thousands would survive because they managed to find a place to weather the raid while the Arxur were distracted.
I was a hero.
Rumbling laughter and howls make my slow trod falter, and I look though a window into the recreational room. There's several humans at a table holding scraps of paper and barking in a jovial mood. They're not masked, and my feathers ruffle looking at them. A flicker of movement on the table catches my eye, and I finally spot the Dossur in their midst, almost completely hidden in a bunker of coins.
A Dossur beating an entire group of pack predators by himself. I never would've believed it, but I'm still not surprised it would be Alvin of all people.
That little runt was the only reason I've managed to hold onto my sanity for so long. He was braver than I, and he brought me back even when I was at my worst, again and again and again. He was the first to run to our predatory saviors back at the facility. And he was the last to leave, running back into the fighting and leading a human doctor to me to stop the stray bullet from taking me into Inatala's grace.
I left him to his card game, faintly overhearing one of the humans complain about being a several years running Texas Holdem champion. Alvin's response sounded very much like him, asking if he wanted to bet the actual crown next to add to his growing wealth.
Eventually I found myself in front of a door. Inside was a small room. One wall contained a wooden desk carved with enough craftsmanship to rival old Krakotl wood carvers. The desk was cluttered with cylinders and writing apparatuses, and a primitive writing board resting on the wall above it displayed several print outs of various people. Relatives. Descendants. People that had enough empathy in them to take back the few lucky souls that still had people they could trust. The computer underneath it was not active, but if it where I'd imagine there would be encrypted communication logs trying to reconnect with those few love ones. Plans to reunite them. Promises to protect them under this faction's umbrella.
It was strange, that this group of humans wasn't desired by the rest of their kind. They take more direct, brutal action than their leaders, but they act to save lives.
On the opposite wall was a locker. Inside were several firearms of Human make, and multiple emergency atmospheric suits. Many were for human use, but some were Federation standard. A pair of boots and engineering equipment rested on the floor before it, scuffed and well worn. There's a strange logo of an orange planet on the back of a jacket hanging from a hook nearby, and an even stranger article of cloth called an 'arm band.' The arm band has a large tree sewn into it, flanked by two prey animals and a river. The human I'm visiting was part of that arm band group, named after a tree of all things.
You couldn't get me to harbor a guess as to why they'd name themselves after a tree.
The far wall was rather simple. A faded green paint coat, covered in various anti-predator posters. One was of a human in a blue space suit, the visor open and revealing an endless pit of teeth. Another depicting a feral, over-proportioned human salivating over a dressed, screaming krakotl on a dinner plate. A third poster depicted some venlil collared and chained in place, stuck in some multi-colored wrapping that went up its legs halfway.
There was a mirror beside the posters, and I winced at the terrible shape I was in. I'd abused myself too much after I was freed. Even after stopping, I was still recovering. Looking past the mirror, there is a large banner of a green Terran letter. A few paper photos are plastered around it of smiling humans in strange places, and my eye always lingers over those photos despite the many times I've seen them. Earth looked lovely. I wished Kalsim had called off his mission.
Feeling like an intruder, I turned my attention to the last part of the wall. A set of black out curtains were flush with it, concealing a human roost built into the structure itself. If I was lucky, she would be there.
"Hope?"
Come on, you're better than a chicken.
Carefully, I lifted the curtain. "Hope?"
There she was. The one human I wasn't bothered by on this station. I can hear the music playing now that the curtain is out of the way, and the thick visor over her eyes tells me she's watching a video or simulation of some kind. I hesitate, watching her in her own world. What fur she does have is short and remarkably dense, and she has such a unique coloration that I would swear she was one of a kind if she hadn't mentioned having family. A tan complexion, painted over by splotches and stripes of white and violets that humans can't see with their own eyes. Her face is relaxed, mouth slightly open in wonder.
The human that helped staunch my bleeding, and gently broke the news to me of everything that had happened while I was locked up. The same one that kept me from pulling myself apart immediately after, and tried to find a way to keep me busy as my whole world went up in flames. A stern, capable person that could make decisions under pressure and wanted to save lives. While not a leader, I could see it in her. She had mettle.
She was completely exposed. Had I been the old me and not the one that woke up in a PD cell after a Sillis conference, I might've followed Kalsim's path. A talon in the right spot, and humans die fast.
"Hope?" Even raising my voice, she didn't hear me right in front of her. "Hope!"
As much as I respected her, coming this far in my state was exhausting. I, being a former fleet captain, hero, and outstanding Federation officer, decidedly acted like a child in that moment and pecked her.
"AAAAAAAH!"
"AIIIIIIIIIEEEEE"
I let out the most undignified shriek in my life and fell over backwards, landing on my tail feathers and sending a jolt up my spine. I forgot that since Hope was human, by extension she could be loud. Really, really, unfathomably loud.
There was a blur of limbs and Hope was sitting up, visor wielded as a bludgeon. She made eye contact with me, and I realized all my remaining feathers had poofed up.
"Blu!" She scolded, face curling in frustration. "What in the matter is- Blu?! You're not in your room?"
Shock, this time. I felt some shame in how low my standards had fallen, and smoothed down my feathers properly. My poor heart was already recovering and I stood, puffing out my chest.
"I... I wanted to go for a walk. See what you humans could do with a dated station like this."
"You're in my room."
"That appears to be the case." I pushed a ball of dust across the floor with a talon and regarded it absently, turning my head and keeping an eye on Hope. "It needs cleaning."
With speed I was anticipating, she hurled a pillow at me. I caught the assault and rerouted it, catching her in the face. She leaned back and laughed, a noise that calmed what was left of my quaking heart as I hopped forward. She offered a hand that I accepted, and she helped pull me onto the edge of the bed.
"You offered to show me your skies." I began, feeling uncertain. "Is that possible?"
"Yeah," she said. "Here-"
Grace put a hand on my chest and pushed down. A profound sense of horror washed over me as my back hit the soft bedding. She wouldn't- no. She can't- is it even- when have I last- Inatala please-
I realized with a start that Hope leaned past me, grabbing her pad. She plugged an odd attachment into it and fastened it to the wall by her head, and flopped over beside me. My immediate terror faded into embarrassment, and my face warmed at my own stupidity as she pulled the curtain closed. It became dark, and I felt her shift slightly until the ceiling above us started to slowly glow. Her pad booted up and began to project an image up there, and I felt my initial problems fade as a blue sky opened up before us.
"Oh wow." I breathed, realizing it was a video as a plane flew overhead. I forgot myself for a moment, looking up into an alien sky as clouds blew by at a lazy pace. The jet stream slowly lost its uniformity and stretched out, facing away as other clouds replaced it. I could hear wind and alien birds chirping, and for a long moment I was there. I was really there.
Storm clouds, massive weather fronts, all began drifting by. There was a dull rumble of thunder. I started as a bird flew very close overhead.
"What was that?"
"Woodpecker. Some can get pretty big back home. Not as big as you, Blu."
"Is it really this serene? Where was this taken?"
"My backyard. There was a massive hill out back. I used to lay there for hours when I was younger. Lived at the edge of a village. The only noise back there was the odd combustion engine or farming drone. Sometimes someone firing off a gun or listening to music loudly."
"You lived in the countryside? You're a pilot!"
Hope chuckled softly. "Surprise! There's some pretty sharp people that don't live in the cities, Blu. Especially us humans. My father could repair any farm equipment you threw at him going back a hundred years. Of course, I also have an uncle that thinks the Queen of England doesn't exist, so it probably levels out." She finished, sighing and reaching up. She swiped her finger across the ceiling and suddenly the skies changed.
They were orange now. More clouds. I felt a familiar pang in my chest thinking of a Nishtal sunset, but I kept quiet as the skies gradually changed. I was surprised to see such a vibrant shade of orange, then a sharp streak of violet bleed into it. There was red as well. A lot of red.
"Why red?"
"Oh, that. Massive forest fire in Canada. That's a country above mine. The smoke changed the colors for a little while. It made for a nice view."
That it did. I got lost in the footage, and started losing track of time. Only the occasional creak of the bedding kept me from forgetting where I really was. Hope seemed content watching the skies, and it dawned on me how close I was to her.
I'm acclimating well. Maybe I'll be like Alvin in no time.
When the skies slowly turned to night I was amazed at the stars that came out. Constellations I was unfamiliar with, patterns and swirls of light that could never be seen from a Federation city. I heard Hope inhale and reach out, changing the scene before it could linger anymore. "How about a time lapse. I've got some good ones."
"I don't know what that is."
"Really? Someone sets up a camera in a nice spot and records hours or days of footage. They take everything they've documented and then speed it up to a couple minutes." Hope starts a new video. I'm taken back by it, how a cloud bank flows around a mountain pass like water. It looks like a stream, where the clouds shift with each wind current change, flowing back and forth as minutes are turned into seconds.
It's stunning. Hope switches to another one, and another. I'm struck dumb with wonder, baffled at how not one other creature out of the hundreds of species thought to do anything similar over the course of the Federation. Massive mountain tops, where humans blur through trails like plasma. Prairies with storm cells moving in, lighting and rain sweeping through and giving it new light as the terrain is rapidly drenched. A large road where thousands of human vehicles streak by and leave brief paint trails in their wake.
"Thank you, Hope."
She nods, an odd gesture of acknowledgement, before changing the video back to a more slow paced skyline. After several minutes of silence, I feel a weight forming in my chest. Slowly, my wonder begins to crumble.
"How many confidants were you able to find? For the others?"
Hope shifted to look at me, turning her head and making my feathers tingle slightly at how close her face was to me. She looked back up at the sky. "Seven."
"There were forty that wanted to leave as quickly as they could. What happens to them?"
"We're letting them go. Even if they don't want anything to do with predators, they're going to find out avoiding my species is pretty hard. We're going to give them access to the network anyways, in case they want our help down the road."
"And the rest of us?"
"I'm helping the ones that want to go back to a somewhat normal life find that. There's several planets they can go to, and countless colonies. They'll be placed close to the support network in case there's trouble and they need to come back, or need financial assistance or help integrating."
Hope had mentioned something about 'shelters being a safe place' for us break outs, but had never elaborated on that.
"And what about the others that want to stay?" I noticed Hope scowl at the skies, her face forlorn.
"The ones that want to stay and help us fight are welcome to. It's not all dangerous- being part of the network isn't as risky. Helping the ones that wanted to go back to living, or finding others that got lost or fell through the cracks. It... it feels wrong asking anyone we rescued to fight and die for us. We don't want clouded judgement and people thinking they owe us that. But, there are a lot wanting to join our ranks in more aggressive operations. We're making them combat ready, teaching them how we wage wars so that they don't turn into their overseers."
I lay there for a long moment, staring at the open skies above us. "What about me?" I asked quietly.
"You're not excluded from those choices, Blu."
"You read my file. You know who I was. What I would've done if I didn't end up in that place. You'd really just let me go?"
"If you wanted to go, then yes."
The simple way in which she states it confused me. Like such a choice wouldn't cause issues or risks.
"But, we've been thinking about a better choice for you."
Oh?
"The Mazics are turning into the next Paltan Combine. Their newest influx of refugees were the released Krakotl."
My chest tightens. Nishtal is no more, razed to the bedrock and dead. We had been abandoned by our neighbors, our home slaughtered well before our true nature was revealed. And in the same year, the Federation deploys over forty thousand ships to take back a world that left behind their rule. Billions of loyal citizens captured and destined for a bloody fate were worth less than billions that seceded peacefully.
And then the humans brokered a deal with the Arxur and saved their souls. This was yet another time they did the impossible.
"We were thinking they could use a strong anchor to roost against. Someone that they might remember. A leader that they can trust."
I turned my head to directly face Hope, but she was still looking at the skies.
"I... they hate you humans."
"They do."
"I can't try and lead them, and sell out anyone that still doesn't believe in the UN's cause. I can't betray them." I chirped, dread worming into my gut.
"We wouldn't expect you too. We don't want you too. Blu-" Hope turned her gaze on me, her voice sincere. "We want them to find the right path. They deserve peace and security. They don't deserve to live in fear and rot with hatred. We don't... my group does not want yours to suffer over what your government did, even if the masses supported it at the time. We think you can lead them to a better future, where this hell can have a chance to heal and fade."
She looked back up at the artificial sky above us. "You don't even have to talk to us again if you choose this. If you do your best to ensure your species can coexist with mine, that would be more than we could ever hope to see happen."
"You think that's possible? That I could get that far? It seems so far away."
Hope bared her teeth in a smile. "You're more than capable. You love your people with everything you have, Blu. They'll see that. They'll believe in you. When you stand firm for your people, they'll follow you, too. We'll help where we can- peacefully. This can happen, I know it."
I found myself looking up at Earth's sky once again, apprehensive above this new burden. There was no way I would turn this down. If the Wolverines thought it was possible, then it was possible. A future where my people were both free in body and spirit was one I would fight for until my weary body gave out.
"How do we start?"

My fiancé and I are high-school sweethearts and have been engaged since December of last year. Long story short I come from a really toxic family, and my mom is the only one I am in contact with and plan to have at my wedding. We are not so well off to where we can just pay for these things. We do have a savings specifically for this wedding though. We are 21, and 23. I have had a really hard time trying to figure out what I should be planning first. My moms never had a very regular life, and just recently sobered up after 20 years. So not only does she also not know what to do, but isn’t in a financial situation to help us out at all. Which I understand completely and don’t harbor it against her. My fiancés family is more than willing to help us out, but have lost a few loved ones this year and are dealing with heath problems in others. That makes it hard for us as a family to talk all the time, and it makes it especially hard to talk about our wedding when they’re experiencing loss.
Let’s just get to my point. I haven’t planned anything, not even a date, for 6 months. Where do I start with planning my wedding? My fiancé is definitely willing to help and even has opinions lol, we just don’t know where to start and how to make those decisions feel set in stone.

I'm planning a trip to Chicago and there is a perfect DC fast charger in Benton Harbor, MI but it is part of the Rivian Adventure Network. Can I still use it? I ask because it shows up on the Blue Oval Network map (Using "All Networks") as available but when I check Rivian's website they say it is exclusive for their vehicles. I want to believe if it is listed by Ford I can use it but I also don't want to get there and then try to figure out an alternative location if I can't.
This is the biggest challenge I run into right now with my Lightning. I'm good if I know I can get someplace and back to my house and charge at home but planning anything that takes me outside that range where I have to use a public charger makes me nervous, especially when my family is with me. I look forward to the day when fast public chargers are as prolific as gas stations and as easy to use. I'm really looking forward to the Tesla network opening up to us, that will be a game changer for me and my anxiety.

Items from my personal collection are listed on top. Items from a lot that I picked up are below those. I’ll cover shipping on anything over $60. Highly prefer PayPal F&F because I have a good number of transactions on here - several pending from my last post as well. Feel free to shoot me reasonable offers! I am way more likely to cut someone a deal if they pick up several items. Items will usually ship out the next day and I will provide tracking info ASAP.
Thanks for looking!
New 3DS LL - green and black. This is an unused console. I ordered it new and opened once to make sure everything was in order. Can add homebrew software for additional $30, but would prefer to sell as is. Looking for $350
GameCube - these are CIB
Resident Evil 4 (Player’s Choice) - $35
Star Wars Rogue Squadron 2 - $20
Star Wars Rogue Squadron 3 - $20
Viewtiful Joe 2 (sealed) - $75
Zelda - Collector’s Edition - $80
Zelda - Ocarina of Time Master Quest - $70
Wii -
Animal Crossing City Folk - $18
Wii Sports Resort - CIB game only - does not include Wii Motion plus - $30
Wii U -
Xenoblade Chronicles X - Sealed - $90
The items listed below here are from a lot that I picked up a while. Priced lower due to quality and wanting to move them.
GameCube
007 Everything or Nothing - $10
Batman Vengeance - $15
Bomberman Generation - $30
Dave Mira Freestyle BMX 2 - $8
Disney’s Extreme Skate Adventure - $28
Evolution Skateboarding - $10
Godzilla Destroy All Monsters - $32
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - $10
Hulk - $10
Minority Report - $8
Muppets Party Cruise - $20
PAC-MAN Fever - $10
PAC-MAN World 2 - $12
Rayman 3 - $32
Scooby Doo! Night of 100 Frights - $20
Simpson’s Hit and Run - $60
Super Monkey Ball - $20
Taz: Wanted - $15
Ty the Tasmanian Tiger - $8
X2 Wolverine’s Revenge - $10
Indigo Controller (Slightly loose left stick, yellowing) - $20
Wii
Carnival Games - $4
Deca Sports - $4
Dragon Ball Z Budokai Tenkaichi 2 - $17
Family Fest presents Circus - $4
Just Dance - $4
Just Dance 2 - $4
Just Dance 4 - $5
Mario Strikers Charged (no case, included manual) - $8
Metroid Prime 3 - $9
Pokémon Battle Revolution - $25
Rayman Raving Rabbids - $3
Spectrobes Origins - $8
Sonic and the Secret Rings - $8
WarieWare Smooth moves (rental case, manual included) - $15
WiiPlay - $4
Wii U
Repro case games -
Hyrule Warriors - $10
Mario Kart 8 - $12
Paper Mario Color Splash - $50
Super Smash Bros Wii U - $10
Loose Discs -
Assassin’s Creed III - $5
Assassin’s Creed IV Black Flag - $8
Batman: Arkham City Armored Edition - $10
Batman: Arkham Origins - $12
StarFox Guard - $5
StarFox Zero - $10
PS1
Batman Gotham City Racer - $20
Blue’s Big Musical - $5
RC Revenge - $5
The Land Before Time: Great Valley Racing Adventure - $5
PS2
Star Wars Battlefront - $10
Pictures!

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I'm an alcoholic. I've been drunk or hungover basically for the past year, if not two. It's starting to effect my job, my marriage, my hobbies, everything. I came off a week long bender last Friday. The party didn't stop, you know? I was buzzed at work and drunk at an online staff meeting. No one knew, or at least they didn't call me out on it.
I think this started when I started working online and becoming increasingly depressed about the importance of that work. "Maybe just a glass of wine with breakfast... and lunch... between meetings... during meetings with my camera off... There's no big difference between gin and wine really, you just need to drink less." Etc.
Currently I'm tapering off. I had 20 units of alcohol on Saturday. 14 on Sunday. 10 yesterday. Only one today. The withdrawal symptoms are ridiculous. Initially I would get them every hour, then hour and a half, then three hours, now we're at four to six. I think it's working but I'm scared of back sliding. I quit cold turkey once and I don't want to do that again.
I thought about going for in person detox, but wanted to try myself first. I've contacted and set up an appointment for a psychiatrist. I have a diagnosis of asperger's (I don't know if that's a thing any longer), but I think I'm also depressed and anxious, and that's led to me self medicating with alcohol. Plus I just enjoy it y'know? I've ordered naltrexone from an online pharmacy, but I should probably do that in conjunction with a doctor. I'm looking into support groups but specifically want one with a secular bent.
I feel ashamed and anxious, depressed about myself and who I am, but I'm trying to recognize that I also have positive qualities. I have a good team of friends and family behind me. I've started talking to them about my alcohol abuse, and just how bad it's gotten. My mother is heartbroken for me, my father is furious, my wife mostly has tough love for me. My friends are trying to boost me up saying that I recognized a problem and I'm going to fix it. My work has basically said "You've got one more quarter to improve your performance," mostly because when I'm good at work I'm awesome at it.
I feel strong also though, and like I have the ability to make change. I hate that one of my big accomplishments in life is going to be 'quitting an addiction' but I think that's because I harbor some dumb prejudices about who gets addicted and why. Consciously I know that it can happen to anyone. I kinda just wanted to put this out into the void.

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(Being a native Italian speaker, I ask forgiveness for my surely imperfect English)
I never liked the encounter with the Mad Mage as it is described in the module: it seemed too sloppy and unrelated to the main plot. Also, my Barovia kidnapped players from a quiet life on Eberron, and Mordenkainen's presence seemed superfluous.
I saw the LBH video in which it was suggested to turn Viktor Vallakovich into the Mad Mage, and while I do not fully agree with the perspective given in that video on Viktor's motivations, I decided to adopt this solution and mix it with the material provided by Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft.
BACKGROUND: For this narrative choice to work, it is necessary that time in Barovia flows more slowly than in the other Domains of Dread and in the Material Plane and that, in some cases, it may flow in the opposite direction. This might contradict the statement on page 64 of VRGtR where it is specified that the current year of all Domains of Dread is 735, which is the year of the party's arrival in Barovia. Conversely, it might be useful in justifying Strahd Von Zarovich as "The First Vampire" despite the fact that there are historically vampires far older than him in the various settings (e.g., Ulgar the Undying).
In my campaign, three of the five characters encountered Viktor in his "study", where the situation escalated into a fight that prompted them to retreat after lightly wounding him. On the same day, the party discovered the magic mirror in Baroness Lidia's dressing room and managed to use it to kill Izek. This resulted in the destabilization of the city in the evening, when Lady Watcher's fanatics broke into the burgomaster's house to kidnap and kill his family. This is precisely the moment when Viktor fled: after casting Greater Invisibility on himself, he ran off into the night in search of a safe place. In his moment of weakness and in the utmost necessity of contingencies, Viktor crossed the Mists and ended up finding himself in the Carnival (VRGtR, p.84), where he was welcomed by Isolde without reservation and served as a worker for some time. Viktor's stay in the Carnival allowed him to gather a fair amount of knowledge: the summary structure of the Domains of Dread, the existence of Hazlan, the existance of Mist Talismans and how to use them. After visiting some of the Domains together with the Carnival, Viktor peacefully parted ways with it to move to Hazlan in hopes of increasing his magical knowledge.
He thus ended up spending most of his life in Hazlan: almost thirty years of constant study of magic, first as a solitary nomad and then as an obsequious apprentice in Hazlik's court. Viktor never came into conflict with Hazlik: he was always too intelligent to risk his own life and never wanted anything that belonged to the Darklord. On the contrary: he was able to tempt Hazlik with tales from his home country, ventilating about extraordinary artifacts in the possession of Strahd von Zarovich that he never actually knew anything about. At the height of this temptation, when Viktor had by this time become a middle-aged man and a extraordinaire spellcaster , Hazlik opened the borders of Hazlan and allowed Viktor to return to Barovia to obtain the artifacts in the vampire's possession and, more importantly, the Count's own blood. Viktor did not look over his shoulder, and crossed the mists with a smile.
Returning to Barovia, Viktor realized with enormous astonishment that he had arrived at the same time as the year 734. Although he knew of the failed revolt that an unknown wizard had led at the turn of Castle Ravenloft in the year prior to his escape from Barovia, he nevertheless decided to go along with the events and put himself at the head of it, for three main reasons:

• Viktor was not mathematically certain that this Barovia was the same Barovia he had left more than thirty years earlier, given the changing nature of the Domains of Dread.
• Viktor's ego was boundless, and he would not accept that he could lose in a confrontation with what he considered a mediocre being like Strahd von Zarovich.
• Even if previous assumptions proved unfounded, Viktor knew (from accounts of the revolt heard decades earlier) that the wizard who had led it had survived the confrontation.

The revolt, however, turned out to be a failure exactly as in the wizard's past, and Viktor managed to escape while barely saving his life. Having lost his staff (Staff of Power) and his Spellbook, fearing that he would incur Hazlik's wrath if he returned to Hazlan and unwilling to stay in Barovia in fear of being hunted down by Strahd, he set out into the Mists in search of the Carnival. The outcome of this decision, however, was the worst of all possible outcomes: Viktor found himself in a desolate expanse dotted with ruins of alien and indecipherable geometry, where a mountain of absurd proportions towered over the horizon humming rhythmically. Viktor retains no other memories of what happened next, when the Illithids of Bluetspur seized him and dragged him underground to experiment on him with the unmentionable inventions inspired by the God-Brain's madness. Viktor was later released on Barovia at the same spot where he had been found: the major difference is that now, inside his brain, lives an Illithid tadpole that is responsible for his madness and tries to guide his actions in an attempt to lead him back to Strahd von Zarovich so that he can gather information concerning the vampire. The tadpole does not have stable control over Viktor, but keeps him away from human settlements and tries to push him to Ravenloft Castle; for his part, Viktor has moments of complete lucidity in which he wanders as far away from the castle as possible despite having no idea what brings him near it and not retaining the memory of his wandering for much of the day. The tadpole can be removed through Greater Restoration, but Viktor is unaware of this.

The Tadpole / Viktor Vallakovich, The Mad Mage
Roll a d100 every 1d4 hours. If 60 or less, use “The Tadpole” traits. If 61 or more, use “Viktor” traits.
Personality Trait. The Tadpole: “I need to reach Ravenloft, and get close to Strahd.”
Viktor: “I need to run away from the castle. I don’t know why i keep walking over there, but i will find it out”
Ideal. The Tadpole: “My mission is to infect Strahd von Zarovich.”
Viktor: “I have to recover my sanity and my lost memories”
Bond. The Tadpole: “The God-Brain prosperity matters more than the universe itself”
Viktor: “Barovia deserve the best possible ruler, and i’m the best individual i know”
Flaw. The Tadpole: “Human civilization is dangerous for they may recognize my host. I need to avoid villages”
Viktor: “I can’t travel to Vallaki until i’m sure that the young myself is gone”

​
If healed from his madness, Viktor will set to work to proceed with his plans. He must recover his staff (Staff of Power) and his Spellbook lost in the confrontation with Strahd, but he does not have the courage to venture inside Ravenloft. Once he obtains his tools, Viktor will try to instigate a new revolt in the Barovian population.
Viktor has remained the Viktor of old: sadistic, incapable of empathy, and deeply disturbed. Viktor is not evil in the active sense of the word (he will not procure pain for fun or out of frustration, just like his father), but he feels no remorse for his behavior and places himself above all ethics. He sees the party as a tool in his hands to eliminate what he believes to be the only obstacle between himself and power over Barovia, namely Strahd. Viktor is unfamiliar with the Amber Temple, and his studies have not given him the tools to understand the origin of Strahd's power: he is intimately convinced that he is dealing with a mediocre spellcaster whom luck or chance has helped to seize a power that does not really belong to him.

Viktor Vallakovich, restored
Personality Trait. “I’m the best mage that Barovia has ever seen, maybe the best one that has ever lived. I deserve to claim this land as mine”
Ideal. “Non-spellcasters are useless cattle in the hands of magic users”
Bond. “Magic matters more than everything”
Flaw. “Strahd was lucky. I can beat him easily”

P.s. not sure this can qualify as "Guide". Any suggestion about post tag Is welcome. 😁